From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org Date: 21 Jan 2005 11:39:43 -0000 Subject: Typo by allimarie Source: direct Reply To: cadenzathequarterhorse@yahoo.com ******************************************************************* Title: Typo Author: allimarie Rating: PG Category: SRA Spoilers: Arcadia Keywords: MSR, MA, SA Summary: The path to Hell is paved with good intentions. And miscommunications. Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully, and the X-Files belong to Chris Carter, Fox Entertainment, 1013 Productions, and David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. I don't own them even a little bit. If they did belong to me, you can bet I wouldn't be here; I'd be busting my ass working on XF2. ;D Feedback: makes me giddy and lets me know there's still an interest for this stuff! May that interest endure. allimarie@sbcglobal.net Archive: Absolutely! But please let me know where. :) Author's Notes: at the end. SPECIAL THANKS: to my betas, Katie, Emma, and Aurelie. I don't think it's possible for you to understand how much I appreciate the time and effort you put into this, or how much I have valued your insight. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Adams Morgan, Washington D.C. March 17th, 1999 11:16 PM "Hey, Scully, how much do you wanna bet the suspect gets caught with his pants down?" Scully continued to stare straight ahead for a moment before sighing lightly and rotating her head against the headrest to give him a level stare. Mulder met her gaze evenly, then allowed a mischievous grin to settle over his face. They had been sitting in the car for 45 minutes. "I don't think pants are allowed in a place like that, Mulder." Mulder seemed to consider her statement, eyeing their assigned entrance to the nightclub thoughtfully. "Hey Scully?" She raised her eyebrow in response to his breathy query. "Ever consider being a phone-sex operator?" "Actually, yeah, Mulder, until I realized that that career change would likely lead to me spending *more* time with you, rather than less." "Ouch!" He kept his face scrunched and she couldn't tell whether he had taken her jibe to heart. It wasn't often that she took the bait he threw her, so she was never quite sure how to proceed. She reached over and patted his leg a little awkwardly in silent reassurance. He immediately seized her hand in his own and caused her to meet the question in his eyes. Oh, Mulder. Poor, insecure, Mulder. "Come on, Mulder, it's not like I could perform for anyone but you, anyway." His immediate astonishment gave way instantly to knowing self-assurance, and Scully felt like she had been manipulated into giving too much away. Dammit. She jerked her hand out of his grasp a little too forcefully and looked back out the window to signify the end of the discussion. She heard the grinding of gears as Mulder decided whether or not to pursue the subject. "I still don't know why Skinner pulled us for this case. One x-file, we get *one* x-file, and then we're back to shifting manure." He had opted for life. Good. She turned her head slightly to show her willingness to let the matter drop, but did not look at him. Let him work a little for that one. "This has been hardly comparable to our background check assignments, Mulder. This is a high-profile case, which you very well know." He nodded, conceding her point. "Still not an x-file, though." He also continued to not-quite look at her, staring instead at some point through her window. Scully rolled her eyes in exasperation, but it was amused exasperation which she allowed Mulder to pick up on. "I like a little resolution every now and then." She shifted her eyes in his direction. "Resolution?" He turned his head to look at her fully. "But it's the unanswered questions that make things interesting." She smiled indulgently, though inwardly she sighed at his predictability. "Yes. But sometimes, answering one question opens the door to many more interesting questions." She jerked her eyes back out the window, feigning just-remembered vigilance. Whatever half-buried idea her careless words had just unearthed, she needed it re-buried and covered with a convenient ocean, to boot. Not only had she not meant to go there, but she knew that her over-reaction had to have given Mulder a reason to dig when none had existed a second ago. "I think our California case resolved itself pretty well, wouldn't you say?" He was hedging, she could feel it. "Yes," she answered quickly. "No questions unanswered there." Shit, that was an obvious lie. Mulder gave no facial indication that he was on to her. "Except, of course, the unasked question..." Scully froze. Why did every word he said seem to unwrap a layer of protective covering? It was obvious he didn't know where he was going with his interrogation, obvious that he was being led only by her reactions. Time to tamp the half-idea down for good. "...How Gogolak was able to orchestrate the deaths of the Klines and the other homeowners? Yes, that's unexplained, but methods aside, we did catch the man behind the killings, subsequently halting them. That's what's relevant." She looked him in the eye, daring him to contradict her. He smiled placatingly, nodding slowly. Nope, she hadn't fooled him one bit. Looking around the car and out the window once again, Mulder tapped an erratic rhythm on the steering wheel and appeared to change the subject. "That was fun though, huh?" He leaned towards her a little. "All that undercover stuff, getting to do a little snuggling...?" He had reached out his finger to tentatively poke her arm, and lifted his playful eyes to her face as the back of his finger began to flick at her arm. His investigative mind was still on full speed all right, merely having changed tactics. Scully's mind whirled, wondering how he expected her to respond, and wondering if her body would even give her a choice. She swallowed reflexively, deciding that a little bit of directness would best put him off his course. Assuming an arch look, she took her index finger and lightly scratched his chest in a back-and-forth motion. "If it's snuggling you want, I can think of someone more willing than Laura Petrie." Mulder processed this, nodding slowly and maintaining his small smile. She could tell he was determined to stay within her boundaries and follow this through a bit further. "Well, that's definitely something worth keeping in mind." His prodding finger resolved itself into a loose fist, with the backs of his knuckles resting lightly on her upper arm. Under her gaze, his mostly-disinterested eyes focused into something much more intimate. Scully looked away, knowing that the situation was quickly getting out of control. Instead she took Mulder's hand from her shoulder and held it in both of hers, allowing herself to caress his palm with her thumb. Only then did she look back up at him, and she saw in his warm smile that she had looked away only an instant before he himself would have. She returned his smile of deepest friendship, and ignored the hard little lump lodged painfully in her throat. Suddenly the radio transmitter on the dashboard crackled to self-important life, startling them both. "Suspect on the move, over. Number three, that's you, Buckley! Let's bring this ship into the harbor." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dana Scully's Apartment Georgetown March 18th, 1999 It was after 3:00 AM and all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for a week. With a cup of tea, she amended. And a massage; definitely a massage. She closed her eyes and let her shoulders relax as she imagined it. She would crawl up the bed on all fours and stretch forward on her hands, sliding herself lengthwise along the mattress. Mulder would climb right up after her, and standing in her entranceway though she was, she could almost feel the way the mattress would sink under his weight. A small sigh escaped her tired lips, and then Agent Scully made the mistake of opening her eyes. Oh yeah. She was alone. Damn. Scully walked towards her bedroom, turning on lights as she went. Undressing for bed, she decided to turn a little fantasy into reality. Tea before bed usually helped her sleep, anyway. As exhausted as she was, she knew she was going to need all the help sleeping she could get. Tonight's stakeout, though in large part the cause of her weariness, had also served to set her blood boiling. Scully idly tapped her fingernail as her tea steeped. The suspect, a serial killer whose identity she and Mulder had each played a major role in discovering, had been apprehended with relative ease. Thank God, too. The man had preyed on married couples. It had been a rough couple of weeks, physically and emotionally, and she knew that her confusion in the car with Mulder was probably a direct result of that exhaustion. Sleep. She needed sleep. Picking up her mug, she trudged from the kitchen, hitting the light on her way out. Spying the computer sitting dormant across the living room, she remembered the several personal emails from family that awaited her, after having been ignored while she worked on the case. Shuffling over, she booted up the computer and sipped her tea in a half-doze. Two new messages, one from...Mulder. Why, and *when,* had Mulder emailed her? Curiosity bringing her fully awake, she clicked on the message. ********************************************** To: queequeg0925@mail.com From: trust_no1@mail.com Subj: (none) 18 March 1999, 02:46:13 Hey Scully, Thanks for bringing me home. I know this case has been tough for both of us, and I can tell by looking at you that you're at least as exhausted as I am. Under the circumstances, I should probably just leave this email for tomorrow, but I know I won't have a chance at sleep until it's written. And, to be honest, if I leave it till tomorrow, chances are it will remain unwritten. Tonight in the car...there are things that could have been said. Things, maybe I've needed to say. But we don't talk about them, and tonight was not the night for that to change. Still, I need you to know, and maybe it's presumptuous of me to say, but I think of myself as your protector. Everyone stumbles, Scully. There's no one else I'd rather marry. M ********************************************** Scully sat back in shock, feeling as if she had been kneed in the stomach. She blinked hard, certain that her bleary eyes were misleading her. Her pounding heart was loud in her ears, and she took several deep breaths before steeling herself for another look. Marry. It was there. He'd said it. She stood up and began pacing the room. Under any other circumstance, she'd immediately suspect that Mulder was under some kind of duress. Was another noxious gas being leaked into his apartment? Was he flirting with suicide? Was someone blackmailing him? Did he fear she was on the verge of leaving him? Those were situations that were familiar, though dire, and Scully almost wished she could believe one were true. But she couldn't; not after tonight. She sat down heavily on the sofa but continued to tap her feet distractedly. The one thing she couldn't deny was the reluctant subject she had striven to hide from him that evening. Though she wanted to claim that she was in the dark as to the real subject of that conversation, Mulder's use of the word made everything click into place. Apparently she'd had more success obscuring the truth from herself than she'd had obscuring it from him. She shut her eyes and pressed her head back into the couch. What had he said? Something about unanswered questions. And she had replied with something about resolution, and how one answered question could lead to many more, better questions...and that's when it had hit her. That small desire for it to have been real. A fantasy world perfectly sculpted according to her unvoiced desires, save for one thing: he had not asked her that all-important question. Without it, she could not be sure if it was a fantasy he shared. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Falls at Arcadia February 25th, 1999 5:57 PM "Hey, Scully, wait up!" Scully paused on the sidewalk in front of the Schroeder's house and tilted her head a little as her partner jogged to catch up with her. She noticed his collar was unbuttoned and that it popped out of the navy sweater-vest. That, along with his spiky hair, combined to make him look like mommy's good little boy, and it made her smile. "What's so funny?" She reached up to button and tuck his collar. "Nothing. You're just a little too casual." Mulder tried to look down, but she pushed his chin out of the way. "What're you doing, Scully?" Finished, she smoothed the collar once and looked up at him with a satisfied little smile. "You were rumpled." Mulder grinned in return and caught her shoulder as she turned to walk away. She gave him a questioning look. With a slight smile, he shook his head and reached for the gold necklace around her neck. He balanced the cross on the pad of his finger and Scully frowned a little. "Mul-" she began, but cut off when she looked up and met his gaze. He was looking at her with a brand of affection she couldn't put a name to, and it seemed reserved for her alone. As she stared back at him, she felt his hands go around her neck, and the sensation made her heart speed up. She swallowed and her lips parted involuntarily, and her eyes dipped to his small smile. He had lifted her collar, and was tucking the gold cross from sight. She looked into his eyes again, unable to keep the smile off her face as understanding hit her. He was hiding it - and with it, he was hiding her. Mulder's hands hesitated around her neck as he digested her approval. "Hey, neighbors!" Instantly Scully stepped back as if Mulder's touch had electrocuted her, and Mulder stuffed his hands in his pockets. Win and Cami Schroeder stood on their front lawn, enthusiastically waving and smiling their good will. "Uh, hey there Win, Cami," Mulder said in an over-bright voice. He glanced at Scully with a stiff smile plastered on his face. He reached out his hand to her. "Hi," she echoed. She clamped her hand around his cold fist and strode forward with him to greet their hosts. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ March 18th, 1999 3:39 AM Scully sighed and stood up to pace some more. Damn him. It was becoming clear. Too clear. She was as transparent as a Victoria's Secret nightgown, and Mulder had seen through her for months. Damn. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Falls at Arcadia February 26th, 1999 11:54 PM "So, Scully, I'm thinking I have an idea." He wasn't speaking very loudly and she halted her face-washing to concentrate on his words. "An idea about what, Mulder?" "Digging." Scully made an exasperated face in the mirror and washclothed the remaining foam from her face. She stepped out of the bathroom and regarded Mulder in his now customary pre-bedtime position on her bed. This time he was stretched out flat on his back. "Digging?" "In the front yard, Scully. For the Klines." She put her hands on her hips and waited for him to continue. He lifted his head off the bed a little and grinned at her, though whether at her impatience or his own genius, she couldn't guess. "I had a look at the CC and R's a minute ago, and it seems there's no rule against putting in a reflecting pool in the front yard." Scully acknowledged the potential of his plan in the smile she couldn't quite suppress. She walked to the edge of the bed and rested her knees against it: the first time in this house she had allowed herself to touch the bed while he occupied it. Mulder took her actions as his cue to leave. He rolled onto his side and sat up, planting his feet on the floor in preparation to stand. "Mulder." She was next to him, staying his motion with the pressure of her hand on his shoulder. Her face was suddenly serious. He looked up at her, the concern evident in his eyes and the stillness of his breath. "What is it, Scully?" She bit her lower lip and glanced at the floor, and then back to his face. "Someone...was in the house tonight, Mulder." He nodded slowly, encouraging her. Her eyes shifted sideways, then back again to his. "I think you should...I would feel better, for both of us, if you stayed in here tonight." Mulder's surprise would have been missed by anyone less adept at reading his expression. "Sure, Scully." He barely missed a beat. He moved to stand up and this time she let him. "I'm going to go check all the locks, just in case." She nodded and turned towards the bathroom. She switched off the lights and climbed into bed a minute later, but didn't lie down. She needed to make sure Mulder took her concern seriously. A moment later there was a tentative knock on the open door accompanied by a whispered, "Scully?" "Yeah, Mulder," she answered in a normal tone of voice. "Come in." "It's, uh, nothing like locking up an apartment at night." Scully smiled to herself at his nervousness. "No." She paused, while he settled himself on the floor next to her. "Mulder?" "Hmm?" He looked up at her through the moonlight. She held his gaze for a few heartbeats, then turned around to grab some extra pillows and a blanket. "Take these." She extended them towards him. "Thanks." His face was in shadow as he took the bedding, but he caught her hand just as she went to withdraw it. "Goodnight, Scully." She allowed him to link his fingers through hers, and his hand was warm and big and very, very masculine. She held it for a long moment before giving it a final squeeze. "Goodnight, Mulder." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ March 18th, 1999 3:46 AM "Ow!" Scully glared at the toe she had just stubbed on the hardwood floor. Was that her answer, then? She needed resolution, she was sure of it. Not now, and maybe not anytime soon, but it was definitely what she wanted. What she needed. And Mulder had made it clear that he preferred the chase. But he hadn't asked her, had he? And he never would. She knew she was sleep-deprived, but she couldn't let this go. Her entire relationship with Mulder depended on it. She switched the printer on and, in a few clicks and a matter of seconds, she held the email in her hand. She grabbed her keys and coat, and was out the door and on her way to Alexandria. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2630 Hegal Place Alexandria, VA 23242 4:28 AM Scully rapped loudly on Mulder's door, out of agitation or fear that he was asleep or both. Eleven seconds later, he opened the door, and she could have laughed at herself. As if he would be asleep. He stood back from the door and she entered briskly, heading straight for the living room. "Hey, Scully," he called after her, though it was evident he wasn't at all surprised to see her. A moment later he appeared in the doorway. "I got your email, Mulder..." She stared determinedly at his coffee table, where the offending letter lay benignly. Coming here had seemed like such a good idea, only now she didn't know what to say. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Falls at Arcadia February 28th, 1999 1:32 AM Mulder closed the front door behind the last police officer and turned to Scully, who was standing behind him, in a daze. After Gogolak's demise and the subsequent fall of the Ubermenscher, the house had quickly turned into an asylum. Paramedics and local PD, field agents, and the FBI's forensic team had descended upon the peaceful neighborhood, and Mulder and Scully had participated in the madness as little as possible. There would be time for official statements and reports later. "I, uh, guess it's time for bed, Scully." There was a tenderness in his voice that brought Scully out of her reverie. She met his gaze and wondered vaguely what he was offering. "Yeah, I'd say we earned it." She turned towards the stairs, leaving him to follow if he so chose. She halted in the doorway of the master bedroom and felt him come up behind her. He was still and she knew he was taking in the wreckage that had replaced a sanctuary. His hands rested lightly on her shoulders and then traveled down her arms, pulling her back into his chest. He sighed. "You'll sleep in the guest bedroom tonight." "I know, Mulder. I just came here to get my stuff out of the bathroom." She made no motion to leave. Mulder slipped his arms around her waist and hugged her tighter, remembering his fear as he entered the bloody room earlier that night. That blood could so easily have been Scully's. He shuddered. Scully sensed the direction of Mulder's thoughts and turned around within his embrace so she could burrow her face into his chest. He was warm, and solid, and smelled good. She took a fistful of his sweater in each hand and pressed harder against him. Mulder took the opportunity to let his hands travel over her body, bringing comfort to them both. She was so small, he marveled. He could almost circle her waist entirely with his hands. Restlessly, his touch strayed lower until his thumbs found peace just inside her hipbones. "I was scared, Scully," he mumbled. "I trust you to always be there, to have my back. I need you there. It's easy to forget..." He shook his head, and didn't continue. Instead of answering, she unclenched his sweater and lifted her head to look him in the eye, too conscious of the fact that his hands were on her ass. She slid her hands up his chest and rested them loosely on his shoulders. "I'm okay, Mulder. We're okay." His hazel gaze searched hers, and she was wondering what it had found, when she became aware of the movement of his hand on her neck. Instinctively her hand went to his, and she immediately recognized his intention. He was drawing her necklace out from under her shirt. She allowed the idea of a smile to communicate itself through her eyes. Mulder let something behind his face ignite in response, and Scully found herself being pressed more firmly into the space between his legs. His hand turned under hers and pulled their twined fingers to rest just below his chin. His breath puffed irregularly against her face as she stared up into his large pupils. The way her wrist was pressed along his, she wondered if he could tell how her pulse was speeding. "Scully," he breathed. "I know, Mulder," she whispered back. She knew, all right. She knew what he dreaded most: losing his partner. She knew the terrible battle that raged inside him between his need for her and the guilt that sprang from that need. She also knew what he didn't know, what he'd never under- stand. That she needed him too. Which was why she couldn't allow herself to take this any further. She squeezed his hand and disentangled herself from his hold, turning towards the bathroom. She did not see the expression in his eyes as she walked away. As she started to brush her teeth, Mulder's reflection showed up behind hers in the mirror. He seemed to be tethered to her by a very short rope tonight. After a pause, his arm reached around her to grab his toothbrush and the toothpaste. She watched as the reflection of his hand squeezed the toothpaste in the middle of the tube and she sought his eyes in the mirror for any indication that he knew what he was doing. He gazed back at her levelly and then winked. Scully blinked in surprise and smiled at him a little uncertainly before grabbing her nightgown and making her way down the hall to the guest bedroom. She quickly changed, not bothering to close the door, and sat down on the unmade bed. Mulder had slept here. Where was he going to sleep tonight? As if responding to her thoughts, Mulder appeared in the doorway. "Hey, Scully. I'm just getting my clothes." "Where are you sleeping?" The question was as much a surprise to Scully as it was to Mulder. "I guess, just..." He made a vague gesture over his shoulder. She held his gaze for a long moment as the obvious question proclaimed itself in the silence between them. She watched him wonder if she would dare voice it. "Mulder, there's no need for you to sleep out there..." "You should... stay." "Okay, Scully." He kept his eyes on her as he stood still a moment and then scooped a t-shirt off the bed. Scully quickly averted her gaze when he started taking clothes off. She busied herself by getting under the covers and turning on the bedside lamp. Mulder turned off the main light in the room and walked to the bed, leaning over Scully to grab a pillow. His lips pressed a smile at her as she watched him kneel and prepare to lie down on the floor next to her. "Mulder." He looked up at her, and Scully was instantly returned to the previous night. He hadn't asked to share the bed then, and she could see he wouldn't ask tonight, either. "Mulder, come sleep on the bed." He didn't move, didn't blink. She wondered if he was even breathing. She wondered what it meant to him that she had asked. And why it meant so much to her. Finally, still without saying a word, Mulder stood slowly up. He walked around to the other side of the bed and climbed in under the covers. He stayed well to his side of the bed. Scully switched off the bedside lamp and rolled over to lay flat on her back. "Goodnight, Mulder." Still he didn't speak, and Scully turned her head towards him. He was also lying on his back, staring straight up at the ceiling. "Mulder...?" She sat up a little, wanting him to acknowledge her. Finally he shifted his eyes to look at her, and her heart started to beat faster when she saw how serious he looked. "You know, we're not Rob and Laura Petrie, Scully. We don't squeeze the same tube of toothpaste, and we don't buy dolphin-safe tuna." His eyes were attempting to tell a greater story. "We don't kiss each other hello and goodbye." Scully got it. She got the full message, what he couldn't say out loud, and it hurt more than she dared to investigate. She looked back up at the ceiling to hide her sudden emotion from him. "I know that Mulder. How can you think I don't know that?" Unexpectedly, Mulder touched her arm. "Scully, I don't think you do." A thin tendril of anger wafted through Scully's misery. Still she refused to look at him. "You've been putting so much importance into the whole Rob and Laura angle of this case. But we just can't act like them, Scully. It's not who we are." Scully yanked her arm away from him and sat all the way up. "Oh, and who are we, Mulder?" She registered his slightly dark expression but rushed on. "Someone had to take this assignment seriously, and it certainly wasn't going to be you! From the very beginning you've been treating this as some sort of big joke, making it much harder for us to maintain our cover." "Scully, I was just trying to lighten the mood. I took the case very seriously." He looked down, obviously returning to the memory of that night's scare. Scully sighed and laid back down on the bed. "We're both adults, Mulder. We should be able to pose as a married couple for work without having to rethink our entire relationship." "My point exactly, Scully." He was staring at her, attempting to force her to look at him. "Then we agree. I don't know why we're arguing." Scully faked a yawn. She knew he would talk until sunrise to bring her around to his point of view, but she wasn't sure she could hold off the tears if he tried. Instead, she closed her eyes and pulled the sheets up to her chin. "Goodnight, Mulder." "Goodnight," he echoed. She fell asleep a long time later, conscious of his eyes still on her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mulder's apartment March 18th, 1999 4:30 AM Mulder crossed to stand in front of Scully. "Yeah, I thought you might, uh, wonder about that." She fought the urge to gape at him, and turned to stare out the window instead. "See, the thing is, I know that on principle, we don't talk about us." Scully could tell he winced along with her as he said the words. She kept her back to him, not about to help him out. "It's just that, ever since Arcadia - " Before she could stop herself, Scully had spun around with a look of horror. "Arcadia, when you admonished me for my behavior. And now you throw it in my face! Look Mulder, whatever it is you think I want, you're better off keeping it to yourself!" "How is that throwing it in your face? Scully, I try to play by your rules. You must realize that. You set boundaries and I, for the most part, observe them. Tonight, in the car, I don't know. I just wanted to have it back. Whatever it was we lost in Arcadia." His mouth opened as if he had more to say, but he closed it again and looked helplessly at Scully. "What is it that you think we lost, Mulder? What do you think really happened that night?" She strained to keep a bitter edge to her voice. The war between embarrassment and rage was draining her quickly. "I think...I think you weren't ready for me to say what I said. I think that I was overwhelmed with everything that had happened, and I wanted to make you understand. I still do." "I don't think-" "Look, Scully, I know I assumed a lot in that e-mail. But I'm tired of tip-toeing around the subject. I just needed to clear the air and then...we can forget about it, and continue as we were." Scully sat down heavily on the couch and glared at a point on the far wall. "And you think that's going to be so easy?" Her ears burned at the admission, but she apparently no longer had any secrets from him. Mulder kneeled in front of her and tried to catch her eye. "To be honest, I hoped that it wouldn't be." Scully's eyes snapped to Mulder's just as he looked away. "What do you mean by that?" She picked up his hand without intending to, and she watched as he shifted his gaze to their joined fingers. "Mulder?" Her brain demanded that she let go of his backstabbing hand, but her muscles wouldn't obey. "How would you like us to continue?" A sudden thought coursed through her body, and she gasped with the shock. Realization and dread settled cold fingers around her heart, and with reduced strength she struggled to free herself from his grasp. What if guilt had finally won out over need? "Scully!" Mulder regarded her steadily and refused to relinquish his grip. "No! Mulder!" She had thought further humiliation impossible, until the sob escaped and she realized tears were leaking down her face. He was pushing her away. He thought he could make her leave him by simply hinting that he never meant to marry her. He was wrong, though. She would leave only because he wanted her to. "Scully, why are you - " he began softly, but couldn't finish. "No!" He had attempted to let her down gently, cushioning the words that were his weapon. But when the knife is buried to the hilt, the only difference in the end is that a dull blade is more painful. "How can you do this so calmly? How can you be so cold?" She succeeded in pulling away from him and scrambled towards the door. "Scully - wait - " "No, Mulder. You've decided I'm better off without you and I think I'm starting to agree." She turned and walked out of the apartment, ignoring Mulder's pleas. He didn't follow as she walked out of his life. * * * * * * * * * * Mulder watched in shock as Scully walked out his door. He called after her but only half-heartedly, too confused to gather the will to follow her. Better off without him? Where did that come from? He knew she'd be pissed off after his e-mail, and he was hardly surprised at her reaction to his little admission about wanting things to change, but where did she get that last part? He walked to the door and looked down the hallway, finding it empty, as he'd suspected. Scully was no drama queen. When she made a grand exit, she didn't wait around to be discovered. Closing the door and returning to the living room, he spied the sheet of paper she had brought with her. His e-mail. He picked it up and scanned it, trying to get inside her head, to understand her reaction to his words. Shit. That wasn't good. He re-read the last line once, twice, three times. That was not good at all. He closed his eyes and returned to earlier that morning, around 2:45, when he had sat down at his computer with the brilliant idea of sending an email to his partner; knowing that, exhausted as he was, he wouldn't talk himself out of it. Scully had just dropped him off and he was bone-weary: it had been a long day, a long case, a long three weeks. He knew they needed to address their strained relationship, and though he knew she would not be pleased with his forwardness, he felt it was worth it. He had typed out the letter and had hit "send" quickly, racing his failing nerve. Then it was done, his final words echoing in his head triumphantly. <"Everyone stumbles, Scully. There's no one else I'd rather carry."> Dammit. He'd made a typo. And whatever she'd taken his words to mean, judging by her reaction, it was not good. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Falls at Arcadia February 25th, 1999 3:21 PM Mulder resisted the urge to skip out of Gogolak's office. Instead, he slung his arm casually around Scully's shoulder and squeezed her into his chest as they walked down his driveway. "Mulder, that happens to make it very difficult for me to walk." "Would you like me to carry you, Scully? You never did let me carry you over the threshhold." Though Mulder couldn't see her face, Scully's tone indicated that she was rolling her eyes. "Funny, Mulder. Now will you let me go?" Mulder stopped walking and pulled her closer, smiling slowly at her through heavy lids. He spoke softly with his lips close to her face. "We're playing a part, Scully. We have to make it believable." Scully jerked away from him and started off down the street without looking back. Mulder peered after her, wondering why she was so upset all of a sudden. They had been squashed cozily together on Gogolak's couch, and she had unconsciously allowed her hand to slip through his. When she realized it, she had pulled away in embarrassment. But only moments later, her hand was back and that time it had stayed. For the first time on the case, she had forgotten her apparent intention to treat him like a total stranger and had allowed herself to relax in his presence. "Hey Scully, wait up!" He caught up with her and grabbed her hand. He deliberately slowed down, holding her back with him. "What's the big rush?" Scully stopped and stared down at their hands before pulling away again. Mulder stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. "Scully." He stepped in front of her and put his finger under her chin, forcing her face up to his. "Scully, what's going on? A minute ago you were practically in my lap, and now you won't even walk next to me?" She finally allowed herself to meet his eyes. Her face was carefully neutral. "It's like you said, Mulder. We were playing a role." She shrugged away from him and began walking down the street again. Mulder stared after her. "No, Scully," he whispered to her retreating form. "We're still playing a role." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mulder's apartment March 18th, 1999 4:42 AM Mulder found his cell phone and hit speed dial one. After one ring Scully's voicemail picked up and he pounded the off button. Dammit, she'd turned off her phone. Chewing his bottom lip, he paced the length of his living room. Would she go home? God, she was tired and angry and shouldn't even be driving. What had she meant when she said that he had admonished her for her behavior in Arcadia? His eyes slipped to the e-mail that lay on the floor where he'd dropped it. She was right about one thing: she probably was better off without him. He grabbed his coat off the rack and exited his apartment. Better off without him or not, he was going after her. He'd withstood being called a selfish bastard for far less. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Falls at Arcadia February 28th, 1999 6:40 AM Mulder lay staring at the steady rise and fall of his sleeping partner's chest. Everything with Scully had been so confused this entire case. She was running hot and cold and he was tired of being burned. He had come so close to kissing her tonight, so close. She had been there with him, not as Laura Petrie but as Scully, knowing that he was not Rob but Mulder. And she had almost let him kiss her. Almost. Then she had turned her back on him, literally and figuratively, and Mulder once more learned his place. When she had invited him to share the bed with her tonight, he was careful not to make too much of it. He knew Scully had very specific lines he was not allowed to cross. He knew she was in the process of figuring out where she wanted him to belong in her life. He knew if he was careful to respect her boundaries, she'd come around. He tried very hard to remember to act in accord with her rules, because he knew how much it hurt to have her remind him. He sighed and rolled over, glancing at the clock. Scully would be waking up soon. If she found him lying there awake, she would wonder why he was still in bed. She would not guess that he hadn't slept at all. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dana Scully's apartment Georgetown March 18th, 1999 5:09 AM Mulder pounded on Scully's door with one hand while reaching into his pocket for her key with the other. "Scully! Scully, open the door!" His fist kept up its steady pounding as he slid the key into the hole. Suddenly, the door was yanked from his reach and Scully stood barring his entry instead. Unfortunately, Mulder thought, she was far more difficult to unlock. "It's five in the morning, Mulder. Please have a little respect for my neighbors." She regarded him icily, showing no inclination to let him enter the apartment. "Scully, we have to talk." "Why don't you e-mail me instead, Mulder?" Ouch. Mulder knew it would be wise to heed the warning in Scully's stance, voice, and piercing gaze, but this was not the time for caution. "Get out of my way, Scully." "Get out of my hallway." Mulder clenched his teeth. "I said. Get out. Of my way!" He placed his hands on Scully's shoulders and roughly pushed her inside the apartment. Scully gasped and pulled out of his grip, wearing an expression of outraged shock. Mulder closed and locked the door, then leaned against it and glared down at her. "What will the neighbors say?" The anger drained from Scully's face and was instantly replaced by resignation, confusion, and deep hurt. Mulder's brief fury also faded in response. "Scully. I didn't come over here to hurt you." She had reached the couch and sat down, but didn't look at him. "I came over because I was worried. And because, because I found the e-mail." Scully's brow wrinkled but she made no reply. "I need to know what you think happened in Arcadia. And I need to know why you reacted the way you did to that e-mail." Scully glanced up at him and he took that as his invitation to go to her. "I think I know what you're thinking, Scully, but I'm pretty sure you have it wrong." He kneeled in front of her. Scully couldn't figure out why Mulder had come after her. When he had let her walk out of his apartment, she had been sure she had guessed correctly. He was trying to let her go; he thought it was what she wanted. He thought it was for her own good. Then why was he here? "I need you to be honest with me, Mulder." Her eyes met his warily. He could not keep changing his mind based on what he thought she wanted. "Of course." He laid his palm over her knee and she was momentarily distracted by it. "What I mean is -" she pulled her gaze back up to his "- no second-guessing yourself." Mulder nodded. She was going to let him say it. She was going to let him say how he felt even though she didn't want to know. "I found the e-mail, Scully. You left it behind, and I read it." He lifted his eyes to hers and then let them fall back to regard his hand on her knee. "I know what you must think - that I'm breaking all sorts of rules, crossing all kinds of lines - disregarding the balance that we've both worked so hard to maintain. I know you think I'm pushing too hard. Every day, and especially in Arcadia. And definitely with that e-mail. But you should know that e-mail contained a mistake. A typo. I'm not quite as presumptuous as you think I am." Scully furrowed her brow but said nothing. "I never meant to mention marriage. That's the farthest thing from my mind right now; I can't imagine what you must think I meant." He looked up at Scully to find her staring at him in astonishment. "Scully -" "If you didn't mean to mention marriage, what did you mean when you said you hoped we wouldn't be able to continue as we were?" Mulder's mouth opened but he didn't seem to know what to say. "I wasn't proposing marriage, Scully, if that's what you thought." Scully's brows snapped down into a displeased frown. "I know that, Mulder!" She couldn't think of anything else to say. "You do?" He sounded genuinely surprised. "Then why are you so mad about the e-mail?" Scully bit her bottom lip. Why was she so mad? If Mulder had not sent the e-mail to gently suggest that he was not the marrying type, then he was not necessarily trying to get rid of her. She looked into his eyes. "Why did you send it, Mulder? What are you trying to say?" Mulder frowned with thought. "Don't you know that part? I was just trying to break the ice that has built up since the Arcadia case. I tried to let it go but that obviously hasn't worked. I want you to acknowledge what I was trying to tell you in California." Scully looked away and tried to ignore the sudden stinging in her eyes. There was no avoiding this conversation now. The least she could do was keep her composure. Mulder, apparently, had other plans. He lifted himself up to sit on the couch next to her, and took her chin in his hands. "Look at me, Scully." She was nearly undone when she saw the tenderness in his eyes. She wanted to fall into his chest and let herself cry. He would never withhold his comfort from her, she knew. Only his love. "You are my best friend. You mean more to me than anyone, anything." Scully's face crumpled and she looked away, nodding her agreement. Mulder put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her to his chest, not sure that she would welcome his touch but unable to stop himself. After a still moment, she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. Scully felt Mulder's arms tighten around her as he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The knowledge that he cared for her and did not mean to hurt her lent her strength. "What is it you need me to understand, Mulder?" He was looking down at her and she consciously refrained from reaching up and smoothing his lips with her thumb. "Just that, while we were in California, playing the part of a married couple, I thought we could have a little fun. Hang out, get on each others' nerves, snuggle a little. But you seemed uncomfortable with the whole marriage aspect of the case, Scully. You seemed to want to make it out as more than it was." Scully sat back enough to level Mulder with an indignant glare. "Look, I don't know where you got this idea that I am so obsessed with marriage, but -" "Not obsessed with, Scully. It was as if you were pushing me away, on the excuse that we were not really married. As if you were telling me to stop acting like I cared for you, because we are not really married. You were busy pretending not to care for me so you could safely pretend to love me. I, on the other hand, was not pretending at all." Scully's breath caught in her throat as she digested Mulder's words and the expression in his eyes. She laid her hand on his cheek and tried to ignore her racing heart. "Mulder, are you trying to tell me that you love me but you're not *in* love with me?" Mulder looked into Scully's uncertain eyes and reached for her neck- lace. He rubbed the gold cross as if it were a charm and looked back at her face, trying to make her understand without words how he felt about her. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know how important that 'normal life' is to you. House, husband, 2.3 kids and a dog and all that. I know you want the whole package and you deserve it, but sometimes...sometimes the package isn't wrapped the way you'd expect it to be." Scully nodded and covered his hand that held the cross with her own. She had to acknowledge the truth in his words. Until she had read his e-mail tonight, she had misunderstood her own needs. "You're not entirely wrong. I guess I have always kind of believed that I have another, normal life waiting for me whenever I decide to leave the X-Files. A normal life with a normal husband who is as perfect as he is boring. But your e-mail made me realize something, Mulder." She raised her free hand to his cheek and ran her thumb along his lower lip. "I don't need that life, or that man. I just need you." Mulder stared at her and held his breath, not quite daring to believe he had heard correctly. He slid his hand around her neck and into her hair, bringing her mouth closer to his. "Say that again." Scully quirked her mouth and lifted her eyebrow, but kept her mouth closed, skeptically. She had just confessed a lot; it was his turn. "Scully." Mulder closed his eyes on her name and wound his fingers further into her hair. "That is what I was hoping to persuade you to believe in Arcadia." He lifted his lids and pinned her with a darkened gaze. "Now, say that again." Compelled by the intensity in his eyes, she whispered, "I need you." A huge smile broke out on his face as he pulled her to him and nuzzled her neck. He said something in a muffled voice that Scully couldn't understand. "What?" Mulder kissed her neck once, then abruptly brought his face so close to hers that their lips brushed when he answered. "I said, I need you too." He felt her smile and he ran his lower lip over her mouth, to her cheek, where he placed a kiss, and back again to the corner of her mouth where he placed another. "Actually, that's not what I said." Scully put her hands on his shoulders and held him away so she could see his face. "Oh?" She raised her eyebrow. "What *did* you say?" Mulder smiled a little sheepishly and looked straight into her eyes. "I said I love you." His smile widened a little and he shrugged. "Oh, God." Scully wrapped her arms around him and brought her mouth toward his but he stopped her with a hand on her lips. "Not exactly the response I was looking for, but I suppose it's better than 'Oh, brother.'" Scully smiled and her gaze drifted to his lips, then back to his eyes. "Were you hoping for something specific, Mulder?" Mulder moved his hand from her lips to the back of her head, guiding her forward. He leaned in and touched his mouth to hers, but she pulled back just out of reach. "Hey!" "Mulder, out of curiosity, where did you typo? What did you mean to say?" Mulder regarded her for a moment. It was such a silly mistake, but fitting, in a way. Communication was one of their strong points - except, of course, when it came to personal matters. No more. "I meant to say, "Everyone stumbles, but there's no one else I'd rather *carry.*" Scully's eyes widened at the simplicity of the mistake. One little letter and the whole incident would have remained buried. She opened her mouth to comment but Mulder cut her off. "There's one more thing I think I should make clear." Scully raised her eyebrow. "What's that, Mulder?" He stilled and gave her a meaningful look, weighing each word as he spoke. "I think, someday, I could learn to live in a house." A slow smile spread across Scully's features as his implication sank in. She leaned forward and brushed her lips against his once, lightly, and then again, in a firm kiss that deepened when they both grinned. "I love you," she murmured into his mouth. "What was that?" Mulder's hands, which were both buried in her hair, held her head in place as he leaned back to look at her face. "What did you say?" Scully rolled her eyes and smiled exasperatedly. "I said I love you." She met his gaze and shrugged. "That's what I thought you said." He leaned down to kiss her again and she met him half way. * * * * * END * * * * * Notes: I never meant for this to be what it became. It was meant to be a vignette, strictly UST. It was meant to be a fluff piece based on the silly premise of a typo gone very wrong. It was meant to be from 5-10K in length, and finished in one night. All I can say to that is: oops. Two months later I need a wig and psychological help. The need for the wig is new. ;D