Title: Uh-oh Author: Lenni Spoilers: None Category: Humor Summary: Scully. Mulder. The Men in Black. Riverdance. Disclaimer: Hello, my name is Chris. Also known as God Most Mighty. I am on a power trip so I'm going to make all of the authors tell me that these characters belong to me. I already know this, and they already know this, but I'm just going to make them look stupid. So here we go. These characters belong to me. Not all of them, though. Not the Men in Black ones. Hey! I'm leaving now! I want all of the credit! Okay, back to the author now. I'm not really crazy. I'm just 'troubled.' At least, that's what the doctors tell me... Anyway, you know all of the standard disclaimers. I bet Chris Carter cuts out all of the disclaimers and made wallpaper out of them or something jsut to make him look good. Actually, that wouldn't make him look good. I'm going now. Uh Oh! by Lenni "Ha!" shouted Scully. "I am Dictator of the Domain! Mistress of the Manor! Ruler of the Realm! Leader of the--" "Down Scully," said Mulder, rolling his eyes. "You only got a basket. It's not the first time or anything." "Yes, but it is also the first basket of the Basement Office Championship for Indoor Basketball! Brought to you in part by Hanes Her Way Pantyhose. Yes, they do tear when you skid across the floor in them." "Uh, Scully, I think you deserve the nickname Spooky more than I do." "You're just jealous of my superiority in the fine art of playing basketball!" said Scully. "No, I'm not. I just find it hard to manuver around this tiny office. You, on the other hand, have no trouble, being as short as you are." "That was low, Fox." "Don't call me that!" "Call you what, Fox Fox Fox Fox Fox?" asked Scully, with a smile. "You haven't won yet!" said Mulder. If Scully won the Championship, then she would get to call Mulder Fox for one week. If Mulder won, they Scully would have to cluck like a chicken whenever he called her name for a whole week. "Come on, bring it on, boy!" said Scully, crouching into basketball position. She was quite a sight, what with her shoes off and a pair of knee highs around her forehead. Mulder once again rolled his eyes. "My ball, half court," he said. Half court was just about six feet away from the basket. The office was small, after all. The hoop had little suction cups attaching it to the door. Mulder started dribbling the little rubber ball. All of a sudden, he felt Scully step on his toes and take the ball away. "No fair, Scully! You can't cheat! That was a foul!" "Sorry," Scully said sheepishly. "I get a little carried away when it comes to basketball." "I believe I get two foul shots for that," said Mulder. "Fine, fine," said Scully, muttering to herself. "Let me get the blindfold." Since the free throw line was only a few feet away from the basket, the person had to shoot blindfolded and backwards. "All right, let's just get on with it," said Scully. She blindfolded Mulder extra tightly so she could make faces at him. Mulder threw the ball just as Scully fake coughed. Unfortunately for Scully, the ball made it in. Mulder started doing the funky chicken in a circle. He was doing it well until he funkied his chicken into a filing cabinet. Mulder fell down. Scully laughed. Loudly. Then she helped him up. "Okay, last shot," said Mulder. He was concentrating so hard that he didn't hear the knock at the door. Scully did, and she opened the door just as Mulder threw the ball. The little rubber ball hit Assistant Director Skinner right in the middle of his forehead. He passed out. "Ohshitohshitohshit," said Scully. "What, did I make it?" asked Mulder. "Well, you sure made something," said Scully under her breath. Mulder took off his blindfold and stared at Skinner's body lying in the hallway. "Ohshitohshitohshit," he said, paling. "Come on," said Scully. "Let's pull him into the office." "And then what? What about when he wakes up? We're dead. We are so dead," said Mulder. "WE?" said Scully. "I didn't throw the ball!" "You didn't warn me that someone was coming!" Soon they got into an argument. Then suddenly a loud noise filled the hallway. "Here come the men in black!" blared a tape recorder. "We're saved!" said Mulder. Two men burst into the office. "What's with the music?" asked Scully. "Jay likes it," said Kay, rolling his eyes. "He suffers from not having a life." "I know all about having a partner with no life," said Scully. "Hey!" said Mulder. "What's going on?" said a familiar voice. They all turned to the body on the floor. "This isn't the groovy '70s I remember," said Skinner. "Now let's all make love, not war." "Hey, I'm hip to his groove," said Mulder. "I'll hip your groove if you don't shut up," said Scully. "Come on," said Kay. "Let's just give him a false memory and get out of here." "Okay, okay," said Jay, pulling out the red flashy thing. "It's my turn to pick." "Fine, fine," said Kay, with a sneer. Jay pulled out a book and glanced through the table of contents. "Kay, have we ever done the Riverdance one?" "No, Jay. I don't think so," said Kay. "Miss Scully, can I have your pantyhose?" asked Jay. "Excuse me?" asked Scully, not realizing she still had them on her head as a headband. "On your head," said Jay, gesturing. "Oh," said Scully. "And they're knee highs," she said, trying to cover up for the mistake. "Whatever," said Kay, and he tied the knee highs around Skinner's head. Everyone put on sunglasses except for Skinner, who kept asking for marijuana. Jay flashed the light. "You were Riverdancing down the hallway when suddenly one of your taps came off your shoe, bounced off the wall, and hit you in the head. Mulder and Scully had nothing to do with it." Jay and Kay left, after making Mulder and Scully promise to do some kind of favor for them in the future. "They won't deliver," said Jay as they walked down the hallway. Mulder and Scully bent down to Skinner. "Are you all right, Mr. Skinner?" asked Scully. "My name isn't Skinner. It's Lord. Lord of the Dance." "Oh, lord," muttered Scully. "See? She has the idea!" said Skinner. He stood up and started tapping. "Hey!" said Skinner. "These shoes don't have taps on them!" Mulder and Scully looked at each other. "Uh, oh!" they said as they ran down the hallway. * * * * That wasn't that bad was it? You can e-mail me at lenni22@aol.com if you feel like it. Actually, please do. I rarely feel like responding to fanfic, but maybe you're better than me. And I'll just sit at my computer, lonely, because no one e-mailed me. Then I'll waste away, a broken person because no one ever commented on my stories. I will think that you all hate me and that I'm just bad. Wow. I think I'm gonna cry. I better go get a Kleenex. Maybe two.