From: Dana Scully Date: Fri, 5 Sep 2008 13:38:05 +0000 (GMT) Subject: Unbreachable by 1to7fan Source: direct Title: Unbreachable AUTHOR: 1to7fan DATE: September 2008 CLASSIFICATION: MSR, post-IWTB RATING: NC17 SPIOLERS: IWTB, references to stuff back-in-the-day. DISCLAIMER: Chris, Frank: I've got only honourable intentions for your characters, promise! SUMMARY: <"Would you be prepared to send me away? Cast me out of your life and never know or hear anything of me?" It was not a real question, he merely wanted to make a point.> FEEDBACK: Yes please!! xf1to7fan@yahoo.co.uk Notes: At the end ***** Rural Virginia January 13 2008 6:21 pm On hearing the front door open, Mulder left what he was doing and went to stand in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. "Hey!" He said, his hands on either side of the frame, his tone cautious. He had been anxious to see her all day, but didn't want to sound over enthusiastic because he had no idea what Scully's emotional state was. She smiled at him, but her replying "hey" was barely above a whisper. She put her keys and briefcase on the table and started to take her coat off as Mulder came over to take it. "How'd it go?" "Well, I performed the procedure. So far so good, I guess. We have had no negative indications." "Good", he said with a smile, and went to put the coat on the hanger. So she'd gone through with it, not given up. He was happy. However when he turned back, her expression did not mirror his. He frowned a little, asking an unspoken question. "He's in terrible pain, Mulder. I'm putting him through such a nightmare." He walked back to her, put his hands on her shoulders and touched her forehead with his lips. "What you're doing, is giving him a chance for life", he said softly, looking into her eyes. There was a sigh, then a resolute smile and a nod. "Yes". He brushed a strand of red which had escaped from a haphazard plait, and with a wider smile turned back to the kitchen. "Are you hungry?" "Hmm, smells gorgeous", she said, slipped off her shoes and followed him through, noting on her way the ironing board and her freshly pressed clothes. "Wait till you taste it, a master piece if there ever was one. Fussili Marinara a la Mulder!" Scully leaned against the frame, arms crossed, to contemplate him. She couldn't suppress a grin at the sight of him wrestling excitedly with pots and pans. Mulder had been doing a bigger share of the house work for years now, ever since she started at the hospital, but striving to do it with a flare was a different matter. He looked up at her as he was ladling sauce on platefuls of pasta, and was surprised to see her amusement. "What!" He said laughing. "The untameable Fox Mulder, thriving in his life as a house husband. A few years back I would have thought the prospect even more 'out there' than a giant blood-sucking worm!" He laughed some more at that, but his expression was thoughtful as they sat down to eat. "That's all very well, Scully, except house *husband* is not the appropriate noun for the circumstances." He was waving his fork in her direction, his tone playful, but Scully could tell what he was meaning to convey was not without significance. "What noun would you use, then?" "I don't know, actually... What I do know is that *husband*, as related to a marriage, is defined within certain very strict parameters, and once those parameters are breached a rupture occurs, ie: divorce. Whereas the parameters of *our* relationship are flexible to the point of non-existence, a breach or rupture would be, by definition, impossible." Ah, Scully thought to herself, we are not on the clear about this yet. She was ready to go back to normal life with Mulder and pretend the past couple of days had never happened, but it was evident he still wanted a few crinkles ironed out. His statement was frightfully accurate, and she understood what he meant by it. "That's very true, Mulder", she said in a more serious tone, her eyes fixed on his. They gave each other a smile and carried on eating for a spell in companionable silence, punctuated only by Scully's appreciative remarks about the Marinara sauce. "Listen, now that you're free to go back into the world, do you think I'll be able to retain a regular instalment of Mulder-cuisine?" It was intended as a bit of humour, but she immediately sensed a distinct tension in the air. The issue of Mulder's renewed freedom was something Scully had not had the chance to direct any detained thought upon, the intensity of recent events having claimed all of her admirable capacity for conscious processing. As it was, Mulder's thoughts had been monopolised all day by precisely that subject. What *could* he do? His professional skills, abundant as they were, remained confined to one field only. Granted, he was a trained psychologist, but he could only cringe at the idea of setting up as a therapist, people would surely leave with a tenfold of the problems they came in with. Besides, there was no Truth to be found in people's delusions. If he was going to trade a life of tending to Scully's every need for any other activity, it had to be worth it. And that was the crux of the problem. He knew what he wanted. To be able to go out there again and look for the Truth, instead of catching brushed-over smidgens of it in magazines, would mean the world to him. But the agony he'd seen this old practice arouse in Scully recently, had frightened him to the core. How can he not have sensed it, the depth of her wounds? After all these years, how could he still underestimate her ability to dress fear and pain in an armour of stoicism? Her demons had finally become greater than his own, and he had been too busy fucking about with bits of newspaper to notice. If he thought that he could protect her, he would gladly spend the rest of his days striving to give Scully the elusive happiness that she so much deserved. But he knew that it was out of his hands, that her demons would catch up with her regardless of what his daytime activities happened to be, and he could not let her fear of facing them placate what was still both their mission. A search for a Truth that would give them hope. Scully could see the worry in his face and began to connect the dots of reason, to guess at his train of thought. A cold feeling started to creep into her chest and she looked down at her plate, averting his eyes, knowing that the crinkles were about to come out in full light. Mulder reached over and grabbed her hand gently on top of the table. He looked at her, willing her to look at him. When she did, their eyes locked with the kind of intensity that moves mountains. "Have you asked yourself about that, Scully? About me going back into the world?" After a moment of silence Scully broke the eye contact. "I know where you're going with this", she said quietly. "It doesn't need to be the dark side you go back into." "What would you have me do?" She looked at him, tilted her head in the faintest of shakes and opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again, her eyes pleading. Seeing fear and pain now dressed in glassy blue, Mulder tried as best he could to reassure her. "Scully, I'm not about to set up as a private investigator of the paranormal or anything like that, if nothing else because I wouldn't survive a single case without you there to keep my ass in line, I think we can be pretty sure of *that*", he pointed at the cuts on his face. "But I'm also pretty sure that greater exposure to the world, no matter in what form, will necessarily make me more vulnerable to that dark side, as you call it." She had withdrawn her hand from under his and now was clasping both of hers together, eyes on them, looking small and tense in her chair. Mulder's worry was climbing, her body language told him she still had the inclination to shut him out, so he needed to connect with her, make her understand that they were both in the same boat. He kneeled down in front of her in order to force himself into her line of vision, and firmly took her hands in his. "The darkness *will* find us, Scully, regardless of what I do. There are things you and I can never again claim ignorance of, things that are gonna catch up with us sooner or later, and we need to brace ourselves for when they come so that they don't take us by surprise again. Otherwise we run the risk of turning our backs on the things that matter... and giving up any hopes of a future." His last words had an added significance. Their future together and their future on this planet were in his mind irrevocably linked. He somehow thought that as long as they were together, they had a chance of finding a way to beat that looming deadline that was now less than five years away. It was a simple matter of faith, of wanting to believe it was possible. A faith he knew Scully shared with him but which had gradually been obscured by fear. She had not given up, her resolution was strong, but her demons had taken their grip in spite of herself. Now, as she listened to Mulder's words and understood their full meaning, she was faced by the uncertainty of their lives, demons past and future swarming in her head, and Mulder's intention to strengthen her determination failed as insecurity reared its ugly face. "I can't be certain what it will be like when the time comes, Mulder. You are so determined, I hear no doubts in your voice. And this determination of yours has always been reassuring. It has always managed to restore my faith, to keep me by your side fighting." Her voice began to break. "I've followed you this far... and now I feel like I can't keep up any more. I see your resolve still drive you forward, and I fear the very thing that kept us together will finally take us apart." There it was. She had said it again, the subject of his worst nightmares. Mulder might still be able to look fearlessly into the face of evil, he might be able to take on monsters and plunge into darkness with a steady spirit. But the prospect of losing Scully, his one and only rason d'etre, was more than he could bear. Despite his racing heart and climbing fear, however, he knew that the scenario of their separation was an irrational one, and this time he was prepared with arguments. He stood up and paced in front of her a moment, agitated, trying to find the right words. "Would you be prepared to send me away? Cast me out of your life and never know or hear anything of me?" It was not a real question, he merely wanted to make a point. Her response came in a quiet voice. "Of course not. I could never do that." Point made. "Well what then?" His voice carried a lot of emotion, this was the kind of frustration he had not experienced for years until recent days. His feelings were on edge, and he spoke with a passion verging on anger. "It's no use pushing me away only so far that you can melt to bits each time you see me". Scully would have raised an eyebrow at his pretentiousness if it wasn't for the complete lack of self appreciation in his expression, which instead conveyed a kind of devotion to her person. "I've already spent too much time in a limbo with you. All those years, trying to contain myself, pretending I wasn't ready to rip your clothes off and fuck you out of your mind. I'm not going back there, Scully!" She felt the undeniable wave of heat invade her body, like a testament of her own inability to resist him. He saw the change in her and came back to his knees, his hands on her legs. They locked eyes once again and the rest of the world disappeared. Mulder spoke on. "I'm done pretending. What good would it be? That denial would not shield you from any darkness, if anything it would immerse you in an even deeper one. I know what you fear, Scully. But you must know that your wounds are my own. We both have demons to fight, and if we're ever gonna stand a chance we must fight them together." Her nod was a slight one but it meant the world to him. His heart immediately began to lighten and fill with reverence for this extraordinary woman in front of him. How astonishingly beautiful she was, how deeply passionate. Her bravery and resolve once again visible in her eyes. The love and loyalty she radiated Mulder's most precious possession. "I'm going to need help", she told him, matter-of-factly. His hand went to the side of her face. What would he not do for her. "I'm entirely at your service." And with that they kissed. Passionately. Before falling into an embrace, him kneeling between her legs, arms around her waist, his face in her neck. God she smelled good. "I should go have a shower, stink of hospital", she muttered into his hair, as if reading his thoughts. Mulder tightened his embrace and breathed even deeper. "Hm-m-" moved his nose further down her neck and sniffed again. "Gorgeous-" down her cleavage, *sniff*. "Delicious-" under her armpit, *sniff*. "Scully-smell." "Mulderr!" A distinct giggle escaped her throat and suddenly his whole world was painted in bright colours. He looked up at her and this time he saw her radiant smile mirror his. He kissed her again, lightly. "Go on and have your shower. I'll clear up here." They both stood up and as Scully headed for the bedroom, he followed her with his gaze. ***** What ensued was the fastest clearing away of plates and pans in the history of mankind. The thought of his sexy partner in the shower took a hold of his mind (and his nether regions) in a way you would only have thought possible of a teenager in the peak of his hormonal frenzy. He went to the bedroom and took his clothes off before entering the bathroom quietly. ***** Scully was standing with her back to the door, feeling as hot inside as the water running down her body. Her nipples were almost raw with the friction, and as she ran her fingers through her hair, she couldn't help but marvel at Mulder's incredible capacity to arouse her. He didn't need to be explicit, there was something about the way he looked at her, sometimes even just the way he said her name, that sent her hormones wild no matter where they were. She remembered the torment of the years when they used to spend nearly every waking hour in each other's company, battling a gripping and increasingly undeniable sexual tension, so intense that they feared the end of all things rational if they gave into it. Out of her mind was right, she thought. She heard the door open gently and close again, but didn't turn around. Mulder had come in and was looking at her, she could feel his eyes burning on her body. Then she felt him step close behind. He wasn't touching her, but the air that separated their skin, just millimetres apart, felt as if it was alive with static energy. His breath on her ear, raw and uneven, told her he was as far gone as she was. The moment his erection made contact with her lower back was like the start of a chain reaction. A jolt of electricity passed through both of them, Mulder moaned gently in her ear, then took the lobe in his mouth while he grabbed her shoulders and pressed his body hard against her. She turned to face him and he pushed her into the wall, pinning her arms on either side of her head, and kissed her fiercely. His hands began to slide down, to her neck, her breasts, and he started travelling south with both lips and palms, until he was kneeling in front of her for the third time that evening. Scully could barely hold herself up against the wall. Her fingers had found his hair, his shoulder, and nails dented flesh as he lifted her left leg with his arm and started to erase the universe with his tongue. She came in seconds and with a vengeance, moaning despite herself, unable to suppress the vocal expression of her pleasure. Her convulsions were far from finished, her right leg threatening to give in, when she felt herself being lifted clean off the floor and penetrated all in one swift movement. She held on for dear life while mulder fucked her hard. His forehead on the wall behind her. Her shoulder coming up to meet it against the slippery surface with every thrust. She came again just as he ejaculated, the convulsions powerfull enough to sustain their position a few more seconds before they started to collapse. As they slid down the wall, Scully regained her feet and remained standing, but Mulder, exhausted, continued to slide down her body. Once again on his knees, his face against her belly, he wrapped his arms around her hips and held on. "I love you, Scully." Came his whisper. "Wouldn't last a day without you." She was undone. Dropping down to her knees, she held his face in her hands, her tears diluting in hot water. "Mulder. Forgive me. It was a terrible mistake." He kissed her, telling her without words that there was nothing to be forgiven, and then rested his forehead against hers. **The End** Notes: Don't know if the date I used was the same one in the film- can't wait till I get my hands on that dvd! January 13th is the date on the book by Max Allan Collins. Mulder saying "I'm done pretending" is a wink ;) to ejfurnia's exquisite phile video "Love Remains The Same", in which I thought she masterfully interpreted and portrayed the line.