From: a-m pop-ups Date: 12 Jul 2005 22:20:03 -0700 Subject: xfc: Up for the Down Stroke (or Kiss Me on my Funky Emotions) Source: atxc Up for the down Stroke (or Kiss me on my Funky Emotions) Author: gillianinchains rating: NC-17 with all things funky timeline: around season 7, which was ripe with sexual frustration disclaimer and summary: The characters of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully are not mine. We all know who created them, and it wasn't me. I'm just gettin' em funked up in this biznatch. Anyhoo, this is a Scully pov, involving funkateers and the funk nasty. Good times had by all! I'm at this point in my life where I feel I'm going to die alone. Oh sure, I have Mulder and our working relationship, but it's odd how much he really *doesn't know about me, considering all the years we've worked together. I don't feel that there's one person on this planet that really knows all my likes and dislikes. For example, I dislike stirrup pants, Soccer moms, current popular music, and NASCAR. However, I love brushed cotton, my hidden DVD collection of "South Park", and dancing around my apartment in my underwear to Parliment/Funkadelic. I love funk music; and I'll make a bet that no one ever pinned me for that one. *Especially* P- Funk and most of the offshoot groups like Bootsy's Rubber Band and the like. I've been loosely seeing the shows on and off for about twenty years, since I was a teenager and I saw them for the first time at an outdoor festival. This was back when they still had the mothership, and I was completely just blown away by it. I only have one other person in my life that shares this particular obsession, my cousin Erica, who's five years younger than I and is currently living in St. Paul, Minnesota. I don't see her that often anymore, obviously due to proximity and my job, so I am surprised to get a phone call from her when I am actually at home. "Dana! Hey, it's Erica, what's going on? I haven't talked to you in like, forever!" "Erica! Wow, how are you doing? How's Zane?" I asked, Zane being her son. "Oh, he's doing great. He hasn't had to have surgery in a while, but he does still have a little bit of a nervous stomach. I can't believe he just turned five!" Zane was born with a heart condition, and has endured quite a few surgeries the first years of his life. I am happy to hear the news, " I've been keepin' myself busy, Shawn and I moved in together and we got a house on the Westside of St Paul across the street from Ryan and Pepper, and I'm going to school to expand my horizons." "Ryan and Pepper?" I querie. " Oh, you remember that Shawn's a bassist, right?" "Sort of. The last time we talked you two had just gotten together; it was a band called Check, right?" "Yeah, Ryan was Shawn's guitarist from that group, then they changed their name to Perfect Orange, and made a couple of albums with that before they split up. Pepper is Ryan's girlfriend and a personal homie. She's awesome, and we're both singing divas in Ryan and Shawn's newest creation, Plasmatic Brain Spasm." I laugh, "You're in a band, Erica?" "A *funk* band. I knew you'd appreciate that shit, of course. Are you still chasing aliens with your super hot partner?" she asks coyly. I had showed her a picture of him at a family reunion a few years back, and she immediately developed ideas in her head. "Yes, I'm still working on the X-Files with Mulder." I answer vaguely. " Did you guys do it yet?" she asks bluntly. "No!" I answer quickly, "It's not like that, Erica. We're partners and colleagues, that's *all*." "Are you seeing anyone else?" she asks, as if to prove her point. "No, I don't have time for romance. I chase UFOs for a living, remember?" I answer, "Why does it matter to you?" Erica sighs, "Well for one, I care about your happiness, Dana. You're my favorite cousin, and I know if I didn't have nooky as long with you've been without, I'd be climbing the fucking walls! Especially with the Fox. Is he still ultra-sexy for your pleasure?" she laughs. Erica has a big, warm, hefty laugh that you can't help to go along with her. "Okay, okay, he's a goodlooking man and yes, he *still is* a goodlooking man, but he's too fucked up over his obsession with exposing the Truth to find any time for anything like romance." I tell her, trying to get her off my back. "Oh-ohhhh, I think you're hot for his bod, Dana!" she teases, "You want him to do it to you on your office desk; I bet you think about that shit all the time, huh?" Not that I'll to allude to it, but she pretty much hit the nail on the head with that statement. I refuse to answer and she's egged on by my silence, "Oh it's true!" she chuckles, "You so totally want to do it to your partner, and I don't blame you." she adds approvingly. So here's where I break down and tell the first live person my naked feelings about Fox Mulder. It's not like she knows Mulder, or would blab to anyone at the Bureau, so I figured I was safe with my cousin. Plus, I just really need to get this off my chest, "Yes. I want to fuck Mulder. You're right." I say as she gasps in delight, "It's been forever since I've had sex, and honestly, I have no taste for any other man *but* him." "And he's the seemingly unattainable, so therefore you just rock yon vibrator every night and think of him, don't you?" Erica interrupts, chuckling. "Yes. It's more than just a physical attraction to him though, and that's why I can't cross that line. When sex gets involved, people's minds become muddled. It's the quickest way to ruin the only friendship I have right now. I truly love him Erica, and I'd die without him in my life." "Sounds like your whole deal with the Fox is based on your abject fear of men and getting hurt." "Did you take psychology, Erica?" I laugh. "Last semester." she answers, chuckling, "Well, listen Dana, I had an alterior motive for calling you, and I think it's one you'll like. How do you feel about visit?" "You want me to come to St. Paul?" I ask. "Think about it. We have an extra room at our house and we're opening for P-Funk in Harmony Park in three weeks." "WHAT?" I am blown by that one and very impressed. Someone I am related to is opening for the P. "P-Funk...wha...now?" "What can I say, Dana? I'm in a kick-ass band. Ryan gave the disc to one of the members, who gave it to George, he vibed and said we could open for them the next time they're in town. Can you get vacation time this soon in advance?" "They *have* been begging me to take my vacation time. Mulder might be a little harder to persuade, but there's no *way* I'm not coming." Wow. Parliament Funkadelic. George Clinton and my cousin's band. I really need this kind of treat in my life. "Hey, request a week off so we can hang out. Late May is the best time ever in Minnesota, and we can take in some sights." Erica practically orders me, "Look, I need to start making Zane's lunch, but I'll call you again to confirm details and stuff, and I'll send you a copy of our album in the meantime so you can check us out." "That would be great. I'm looking forward to it." I reply, "I can't wait to see you." "I know! It's gonna be *awesome*. I love you, Dana; think about Fox okay? I mean, *really* think about him." "Good*bye*, Erica." I say chidingly, "I'll call you soon." "Bye Dana!" I request my time off the following Monday. No one has a problem with it, except Mulder. Just as I suspected. "Scully, we just got back on the x-files and now you're going on 'vacation'?" he says 'vacation' like its a dirty word. "Mulder, for your information, we've been working nonstop for the past three years, x-files or no, and I deserve a break to visit my cousin if I'd like to. Besides, the caseload isn't that heavy, and it's only a week. Aren't the higher ups on your back for a little vacation time as well?" I am feeling pretty defensive today. Mulder's looking sexier than usual and my vibrator's batteries ran out of juice the night before, so my hormones are on overdrive with no release. "Yeah." he answers truthfully, then his eyes brighten, "So what's so urgent in St. Paul that you have to go visit your cousin?" "She's in a band called Plasmatic Brain Spasm and they're having a show; she wanted me to get to see them and spend some time with her and her son." I answer, omitting the Parliament part of the equation. For some reason, I'm just not ready to let Mulder see that side of me, the get-off-your-ass-and-dance Dana, wallowing in the *Motor Booty Affair*, in love with "Maggot Brain", cutting her teenage teeth on "Cosmic Slop" and losing her virginity to the strains of "Dr. Funkenstein". The funk is a very personal side to me, a metaphor of sex and life in general, existence on the whole. Too vulnerable of a side for Mulder to see. "Your cousin is in a band? What do they play?" Mulder perks up, interested. "Funk music." I answer, pulling Erica's band's CD out of my purse and handing it to him. Mulder accepts the CD, "Plasmatic Brain Spasm. This looks interesting, like Gumby on LSD." he comments. The album cover is pretty quirky, involving a stage scene with a claymation band, bright color scheme, and a band of symbols across the borders, " Have you listened to it yet?" he continues. "No, I just got it in the mail today. I was going to listen to it when I got home tonight." "I can put it in my CD player if you want." Mulder offers, "I myself am curious to hear what a Scully musician sounds like." We work the rest of the afternoon listening to Plasmatic Brain Spasm in silence. I'm impressed with the overall sound, the songwriting, the production. It's making me pretty excited for my trip, actually. The day ends, and Mulder gives me back the disc as I'm leaving the office, "I'm liking the Plasmatic Brain Spasm, Scully." he says as he hands it to me. "Me, too. Good night, Mulder." I answer, taking in one last look for the day before I walk out the door. Two and half weeks later Mpls/St Paul International Airport "Holy Mutha-fuckin' shit! Dana Katherine Scully, get over here right now!" My cousin greets me at the gate, looking ever the earth mother with rings on every finger and her wild reddish-brown hair pulled back from her face with assorted colorful clips. She embraces me in a hug, and I notice that Erica has a small entourage in tow. "I missed you, my favorite cousin!" Erica goes on, pulling out of our hug and taking a good look at me. "I missed you too, Erica. I listened to your album. It's amazing." I say, then nod toward her entourage, which includes a small boy around five with curly blond hair being held by a bigger man around thirty wearing khaki pants, a flannel shirt and a blue bandana on his head, and a woman in her mid-twenties with her red hair in pigtails holding an adorably bald toddler around a year old. "Guys, this is my cousin, Dana. Dana, this is my son, Zane,"(adorable blond boy), "My boyfriend, Shawn,"(the man)" and my friend Pepper and her son, Ira." "Hi, cousin Dana!" Zane greets me, hugging my knees, "My mom told me you like funk. 'We want the funk, give up that funk'." he sings at me. I laugh because he' s so adorable and quite an outgoing little guy, " I sure do." I say brightly. "I'm glad you like the album!" Pepper says to me, shaking my hand with her free one, "It's nice to finally meet you. 'Ca's been going on and on about your visit the past couple weeks." We make our way to the luggage carousel as Shawn addresses me, "So Dana, you're in the FBI? What's that like?" "Nonstop working. I'm also trained as a medical doctor and forensics pathologist, so the x-files gets a lot of use out of me. I've been working within my division for the past seven years. It's pretty all-encompassing." "You really chase after aliens and shit like that?" Pepper asks, "That's so cool." A-ha. There's my bag. I snatch it from the carousel and we make our way to the parking lot,"It's actually pretty grueling work." I answer, "Not a lot of time at home, spending a lot of it in the field and in random hotels across the country." "Do you and that sexy Fox of a partner ever share a hotel room, Dana?" Erica ribs me. I know she's kidding me, but she is relentless. I say nothing, shake my head, and feel a blush of red creep into my cheeks. ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)*************************************************** Shawn's nickname is the Lawnmower. He got it in college because he smokes a lot of weed. In fact, now that we're here at Erica and the Lawnmower's house, and the children are all in bed or at their grandmother's, we're all smoking a lot of weed. Yes, I do indulge. Scientifically, there has been nothing proven wrong with marijuana in moderation or otherwise. I don't toke all that often, obviously, but it *is* my vacation, so I'm in a willing way. Currently, Pepper, Erica, and myself are holed up in the bathroom, doing shots of tequila and passing a bowl of hydroponic while we play with each other's hair and engage in girl talk. This is also a rarity in my life, but like I said before, I'm in a willing way. Lawnmower and Pepper's boyfriend Ryan are currently in the den, working on a new song with their lead and bass guitars. The subject turns to sex pretty quickly, seeing as Erica's around and all. "Pepper, Dana does not get laid!" she shouts in a drunken manner, giggling as I nudge her. "Dude, I feel you. I went almost two years once." she slurs at me, "There was just so much unworthy cock before Ryan came into my life. So how long has it been?" "Seven years." I answer, choking on the hit I just took and coughing a bit. Pepper's eyes widen as her jaw goes slack, then she looks at Erica, "Wow." "Seven years." Erica echoes. "There must be, like, no decent cock in D.C." Pepper awes. "There is, she's just too afraid to hit that shit." Erica quips, "Do you have that picture of the Fox, Dana? Pepper needs some visualization to understand the situation." I grudgingly pull my wallet out of my purse and hand Pepper the snapshot I had taken of Mulder a couple of years ago. Pepper examines his picture and lets out a wolf-whistle. "Yeah, he's definetly worth saving yourself for." she moves to hand it back to me, and hesitates, "Why do you have a picture of him in your wallet, Dana?" "Because he's my friend. And I'm not 'saving myself' for him. He's a beautiful man, but a very *unavailiable* man. I'm a smart woman, I know when I don't have a chance in hell." I answer. "Has *he* seen anybody?" Erica pries. Suddenly I feel like I'm in the Grand Inquisition, on trial by jury, "No. Why do you guys *care* so much?" I am feeling defensive. "Hey look, Erica just told me that you didn't have girls to talk to. I was just trying to get you to open up, to feel me on some things." Pepper replies, putting up her hands. I relax a little, "I'm sorry. I haven't had many girlfriends in my life." I admit. "Dana, I'm your cousin. You are my family, and I want you to feel like you can trust me to talk to me. It'll do ya some good." Erica chimes in. "Dude, and I'm kick-ass." Pepper says, "I totally do not judge. What I want to know is, do you and this Fox get along?" Back to the questions, "Most of the time. We've worked together for so long, and that culminated into us becoming extensions of each other, almost." "Man, that's heavy." Pepper sighs, "Ryan and I are like that." "Yeah? How did you two meet?" I querie. Good, maybe we can focus this conversation on her, then. "Well, when we first met, I was a lesbian and he was going out with this girl, Nes. He was the barista at this coffeehouse that I used to hang at. Then we lost touch, I got back into men in the meantime, had a couple shitty half-relationships and one night stands, and then I run into Ryan at another coffeehouse downtown, and we started hanging out again. Friends at first. Dude, he's my best friend. I realized one weekend after he came to my coffeeshop and I hadn't seen him that I had a serious crush on him. I asked him out the very next time I saw him, and it's been euphoria ever since." Friends first; "Friendship is important in your relationship?" I ask. This is hitting kinda close to home for me. "*The* thing. I mean, SURE, we were totally retarded on each other the first couple months we were together. We kissed *everywhere*. We did it all the time; entire weekends-in-bed-type-shit, dude. It was awesome." she sighed, "It *still* totally rules too, we chill out together, clown on reality TV and it's terribleness, and make music together. Things are different now that we have Ira, but it's this way excellent family type thing that totally rocks my world. Ira is the best kid in the land. Ryan and I still have awesome sex. It's all good in the hood." "Mower and I have a great friendship, too, Dana. We have the same tastes, enjoy similar things..." "You forget to mention that you and Mower are also exact polar opposites, which makes for your interesting relationship." Pepper laughs, " Erica's all extra power female style, and Mower is the epitome of manly man. Other than that, they are *exactly* alike. It's crazy." "Mulder and I oppose each other a lot in theories." I start, "He's more supernaturally based, whereas I base my theories more in science." "But you work well together, don't you?" Erica asks. "Our solve rate is the highest in the Bureau. We're a highly effective team." I admonish. "Dude, think of how awesome that mouth would be." Pepper says, gazing at Mulder's picture once again, "Ryan has a great mouth too." I blush and take a shot of tequila, "I've seen him naked before. It was during a case, and he was in shock, but still, it was nice." I slur. I'm feeling pretty warm. Being stoned and drunk will do that to you. "Alright! Dude, now we're talking!" Erica exclaims, high-fiving Pepper. I shake my head at them, "We couldn't make that plunge, you guys. It would be too heartbreaking to be rejected and then I'd lose my best friend, too." "Fuck all that shit, girl. I think you're selling your life short. Look at the facts: A: You're hot for his bod. No man that *isn't* him is gonna do it for ya. 2: You're already friends, you have been for seven years and you get along well enough to stand each other for as long as that, and C: You just said that he doesn't see other females. Who's to say he ain't savin' himself for *you*? I've said my peace about this. Blessed muthafuckin' be." Pepper retorts. Erica giggles, "Blessed be." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX We passed the time the next couple days checking out the local sites and spending time with Pepper and Erica's sons. Last night, we went out dancing at a club called Ground Zero, and today, we're nursing our mini-hangovers at the Capitol View Cafe, a few blocks walk from Erica's house. It's Mexican-American fare, and Pepper and Erica recommended it for good breakfast food. I have just ordered the eggs benedict, when I notice Erica's face. She looks surprised. "What's the matter?" I ask her. Pepper answers my question for me as she notices the same thing behind me, "Hey, isn't that the only do-able cock in D.C.?" she says lowly, as I spin around to see Mulder sitting in the non-smoking section across the room. Apparently, he took his vacation as well. I am not pleased. "You're mad about this?" Erica questions when my face falls into a glare. "Your damn right I'm mad! What right does he have to follow me around on my vacation? The man must honestly think I can't take a piss without his presense! I see him day in and day out in D.C., there was absolutely no need to follow me to St. Paul." I hiss, keeping my voice low. "I, for one, think it's romantic. He can't hang without you, Dana." Pepper says, doling pieces of bread to Ira as he gobbles them down. "I agree." Erica chimes in, "Why would he want to piss you off?" I shrug, take a deep breath and sip my coffee. The truth is, ever since our drunk-and-stoned girl talk session the other night, I had been playing out scenarios in my head of Mulder and I together intimately. I can't help but get jealous of their descriptions of their relationships with their men. Friends and lovers? Could it even be possible? Mulder and I, actually taking the plunge, being so into the other that your mind melts and you're naturally high just being with each other. Lazy weekends of being in bed together, making love til we pass out, then waking up to do it all over again. If only my reality could live up to this fantasy. "Mommy?" Zane whines, tugging on Erica's shirtsleeve, "I have to go to the bathroom." "Alright, kiddo, let's do this." Erica sighs, "I'll be right back you guys." "Cool." Pepper answers, "More coffee, Dana?" she asks me as they walk away. "Scully?" I hear Mulder say. "Oh, balls. I blew your cover." Pepper whispers, "I'm sorry." He makes his way over to us from the cashier after paying for his meal, looking relaxed and easy in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I forget how good he looks on his off time. I am still angry with him though, sort of. "What brings you to St. Paul, Mulder? More alien abductions or monsters for me to leave my vacation on?" I start in on him immediately. "Oh, ye have little faith, Scully. There are no new monsters that I know of." Mulder replies. Ira breaks the slight pause with a giggled, "Butt." to which his mother counters, "Chicken." This makes him let out another baby chuckle and he looks up at Mulder and points, "Why?" he asks. "Aren't you going to introduce us, Dana?" Pepper asks. "Forgive my manners. Pepper, this is Fox Mulder, my partner at the FBI, Mulder this is Pepper, Erica's best friend..." "The other female vocalist in Plasmatic Brain Spasm." Mulder interrupts me, shaking her hand. "You've listened to the disc?" Pepper smiles, shooting me a look of approval. "This is why I am here." Mulder answers, "You aren't the only one taking in a live show on your vacation, Scully." he winks at me. My stomach drops. Mulder, at a P-Funk show? Meanwhile, Pepper continues to conversate with him, "You came all the way here from D.C. to see us live? Right on! Oh, this here is my adorable little dude, Ira." "Hi, Ira." Mulder says, kneeling down and pattin the little boy on the head, "How are things?" "Puppypuppypuppy." Ira chants, using his index finger to poke at Mulder's cheek. "No, Fox. Can you say *Fox*?" Pepper chuckles, practically glowing with love for her son. She turns back to Mulder, "So where are you staying?" "The Radisson in downtown St. Paul. Someone recommended this place to me for breakfast; I didn't think I was going to run into you at all, Scully, except maybe at the show." Erica and Zane make their way back from the bathroom. "Hi, mister man! I like big butts and I cannot lie!" Zane greets Mulder, "Who're you?" "Erica, Zane, this is my partner at the FBI, Fox Mulder." I introduce, "He came to see your mommy's band play tonight." Zane beams with a cherubic grin, "And P-Funk? We want the funk, give up that funk." he sings. "Yeah, that was the clincher for me; I looked up your show on the Internet, and when it said you were playing with Parliament/Funkadelic, I knew I had to be here." Mulder says, shaking Erica's hand, "I'm pleased to meet you, Erica." "You too! Dana's told me about you and I think we're gonna get along great!" Erica replies, "So you like P-Funk? Dana, you didn't tell me about this! You, being the funkateer you that you are?" she turns to me and my whole world falls under my feet. This is too odd. How many government agents have secret tastes for the funk? "You're into P-Funk, Scully?" Mulder asks impishly as he pulls up a chair next to me. "You didn't know this?" Erica queries, ""Yeah, Dana *loves* the P. She's the one who introduced me to it when we were kids." I just nod as my stomach does somersaults. I'm not ready for this side of me to open up to him, but now I really have no choice, "What can I say? I'm hip to the mothership." I shrug. "You're just full of surprises, aren't you Scully?" Mulder smiles, looking so beautiful I just want to jump him, damn the consequences. The reaction would be too great, however, so I just smile back at him, " I guess I'm not the only one." I counter. ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)************************************************************************************************;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-0 ;-) Erica invited Mulder to walk back with us to the house and meet the guys, and now we're back in her kitchen; Ryan and the Lawnmower eating the takeout that Erica and Pepper brought back for them and conversating about the correlation between funk and life on other planets with Mulder. Pepper and Erica pull me aside into Erica's bedroom under the guise of finding me something to wear for the show that night, and immediately tear into me. "Holy Crap! He's like, even way sexier in person!" Pepper exclaims in a whisper, "How do you live? Honestly?" "No shit, dude!! Plus, he's a genius, and he's *nice*. I bet he'd do anything for you, huh?" Erica joins in the attack. "Exactly. Which is why I can't jeopardize what we have. I can't lose him in my life." I argue. "It's no use, Erica. Dana is gonna come to her own conclusions at her own time. I'm starting to feel like a meddling old biddy, dude." Pepper sighs, "But that doesn't mean we can't dress you up extra sexy for tonight." she perks up, waggling her eyebrows. Erica laughs her patented hearty laugh, "We are *so* getting you up onstage for 'Atomic Dawg'." I assume that Erica and Pepper had been conspiring to dress me up for a while, because there's a pile of clothing Pepper had brought from her house across the street, along with my suitcase on Erica's bed. "We have plenty of stuff to pick from," Erica begins, "You're stuff was pretty squarewave, but I think we have a nice base to work on." "Ain't no way you ain't gettin up on that stage, girl." Pepper adds jovially. There's a portion of the Parliament shows where they play "Atomic Dawg" and bring good-looking women up onstage to dance with the band. It had always been sort of a fantasy of mine, but I've always been pretty shy and usually stay away from the front of the crowd these later days to avoid possible embarassment. Pepper and Erica are bound and determined to get me up there, especially after I disclosed this little tidbit of information with them. I'm actually giving in this time. Erica picks up a green piece of fabric. The color's nice, it's sort of an olive green, "We thought this one might look great on your frame." "Try it on! I wanna see what it looks like!" Pepper exclaims, "I have the perfect accessories for that shit, if you likes." Erica hands it to me and I retreat to the adjoining bathroom. I undress and manage to figure out my way through the material. This is one tricky dress. I finally figure it out and... Holy Shit. Wow. It has a plunging neckline in a deep V that reaches the bottom of my breastbone with soft loose ruffles along the hem of the neckline, flowing down the center into the short, clingy, asymmetrically cut skirt, and capped sleeves as short as my shoulder: this dress *is*sex. These panties have to go; this skirt is too clingy for pantylines. I can't believe I'm actually going to go to a show in this fuck-me dress. I know I can't say no, though. Erica and Pepper wouldn't have that, and they are vigilant. I get back to the bedroom, and it's just as I suspected. "Oh, fuck yes!" Erica spouts. "Dude, I have the most perfect shoes for your gear! You look *way* hot, right Erica?" Pepper gleams, pulling out a pair of olive green thong sandals with a low heel, "These won't be so heinous for the show, either." she adds. "I don't know about this." I hesitate. This is me, but it isn't me at the same time. Mulder's going to be at this show, and for this dress to be on my body... well, it could get dangerous. "You don't know!!!" Erica practically yells, incredulous, "This is your guarantee to the Atomic Dawg, right here."she gestures at me, "Dana, this dress is perfect. What're you afraid of? You are too fucking gorgeous to put yourself on a back shelf like this." Ryan enters the room with Ira in his arms and breaks the conversation, "Sweetie, I'm taking Ira home for his nap before my mom comes to pick him up, then I'm gonna get our gear ready to go for tonight." he says as he pulls her in a three way hug with their son, " I'll see you in a bit?" "Fer sure, baby." Pepper nods, "Ryan, tell Dana the dress is awesome. She doesn't believe us." Ryan's eyes bug out a little when he sees me, and he nods furiously, "Yeah, Dana, that's a super-hot dress." he admits, "Okay, Pepper, I'm gonna do this. See you guys later." "I'll be home in no more than twenty." Pepper smiles, kissing him goodbye. He leaves the room and Pepper and Erica burst out laughing, "Dude, you almost made Ryan pop wood!" Pepper chuckles, "Believe that!" "Okay, okay, I'll wear the goddamn dress." I cave, "What're you guys wearing?" "Oh, you'll see soon enough." Erica laughs. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX We finish up in the bedroom and return back to the kitchen to the Lawnmower's hearty laughter. "What's happening in *here*?" Erica asks brightly. "Shooting the shit." Mower answers, "Did you guys get your girl shit squared away?" "Oh, yeah." Pepper smiles, gathering her purse and house keys, "Dana's hooked up." "How are you getting to the show, Scully?" Mulder asks me. "Hey, you guys should ride together!" Erica exclaims, "It sure as fuck beats being crammed in with all our gear, Dana." Thanks for backing me into a corner, Erica. "That's not a bad idea, actually." Pepper agrees, "They can follow us in Fox's car. Well, I should split. We should rendezvous in a couple hours and head down there A.S.A.P. to get our shit set up." "So it's settled." Mulder smiles, "Scully and I will follow you in my car." "Bye guys." Pepper says, "We're gonna funk the hell out of Harmony Park." she adds on her way out the door. Mulder stands up, "I should probably go as well, I still have to go shower and change. Should I meet you back here in two hours?" "Yeah." Mower nods. "You had better be punctual for our date, Scully." Mulder says jokingly, leaning into me a bit. "Just don't call it a date and I'll be as punctual as you'd like." I joke back, nudging him in the shoulder. "You pierce my heart with your cold words, Lady." Mulder deadpans, holding his hand to his chest, " I'll be back in a couple hours, then. Really nice to meet you, Mower, Erica. I can't wait for the show." "Nice meeting you too!" Erica smiles, walking him to the door, "Drive safe." "I will." Mulder says, issuing a wave as he leaves. Erica turns to me after she closes the door behind him, "No wonder!" "No wonder what?" I ask. I am confused. "No wonder you aren't getting laid if you shoot him down like that every chance you get." Erica finishes, wagging her finger at me. "I don't think *you* could tell, Erica, but he was plainly kidding. He does it all the time." I counter. Erica turns to Shawn, "Please back me up on this one, Babe." "Actually Dana, it looked like he was trying to feel out the territory." Shawn agrees with her, "Guys will do that if they aren't sure, because they can always write it off as a joke later if it doesn't work out." "For seven years, though?" "You work together, Dana." Erica states, "And his job is important to him. I think that you are also important to him, and that he's just as scared as you are." "Knock out some of that fear with a little of this." Mower says, handing me a pipe. I shake my head, "The last thing I need right now is to be high in front of Mulder." "Why not? He was high in front of you." Mower retorts. "He was smoking pot?" I am surprised. I accept the bowl. "Yeah, he smoked a joint with me and Ryan while you guys were in the bedroom." Mower laughs, "I think you two have more in common than you realize." I choke and cough, exhaling a cloud of smoke as I pass the bowl to Erica, "Maybe so." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX It's been two hours, and Mulder has just pulled up to the house. My stomach is a wild case of butterflies at extreme play, so I take another puff off the coffee-flavored blunt that Erica just passed me. We had a lot of fun getting ready. Erica and I curled each other's hair while doing shots of vodka, and dressed between hits of pot. Erica is donning a striped multicolored knee-length dress in hues of white, orange, yellow, and blue with long belled sleeves and a plunging neckline to accentuate ample bosom. On her feets she's wearing bright blue calf-length Doc Martens. Oh my god. Mulder's here. He's really here, knocking at the door, ready to pick me up for our "date", with me in the fuck-me dress. I freeze at his knock and Erica pats my knee assuringly and gets up to open the door. "Heya Fox! Come on in." Erica greets. "You look very colorful, Erica." Mulder comments, sauntering in wearing jeans and a blue t-shirt. "Thanks for the compliment!" Erica laughs, "Dana, you should pass Fox that blunt you've been parking on." "Sorry." I say, getting up from my station on the couch and offering it to him, "Hey, Mulder." I say, feeling even more abnormally shy than I already am. "Nice, Scully." Mulder says smoothly, looking me up and down, "Do you always dress this way for funk shows?" "We're making sure her ass is onstage for 'Atomic Dawg' tonight." Erica cuts in. "Well, there's no way they could say no to you in *this*, Scully." Mulder says, hitting the blunt and gesturing at me, "Honestly, you look stunning." "Thank you." Wow. Mulder just paid me a genuine compliment. I have nothing to say. I'm dumbfounded. Pepper and Ryan burst through the door, "It's funk time, bitches!" Pepper exclaims. They're looking quite colorful themselves. Ryan is wearing a pair of black satin pants with a patchwork block of pink and blue going down the left leg, a blue mesh sleeveless shirt, clunky black shoes, and huge pink polka dot sunglasses, and Pepper adorns a short silver lame` tunic skirt with slits all the way to the waistband on both sides, a baby blue ringer tee with a picture of Gonzo from the Muppets in a darker blue, knee-length blue argyle socks and calf length silver platform boots. "Are you guys ready to hit it?" Ryan asks. The Lawnmower emerges into the living room wearing a maroon velvet track suit, "All our gear's loaded up and ready to go, and I just got off the phone with Aaron, he's heading out now." "Awesome. Well, let's get the hiz-itch out of diz-odge, then." Pepper says, "Dana, you look marvelous, dah-ling! I bet you feel lucky escorting this luscious creature tonight, eh buddy?" Mulder winks at her, "I'm the luckiest." he deadpans, grasping me by the waist and taking me by surprise, "Shall I escort you to your carriage, Scully?" he asks me, arm around my waist as he leads me toward the door. I shoot a glance at Erica, who's smiling a little too suspiciously, "We'll be right behind you guys. We just have to lock up. You and Fox can start following Pepper and Ryan in their car." Mulder still has his arm around my waist, sending maddening tingles down my spine. I don't want to seem like this is affecting me, though, so I slip my arm around his waist. Did he just tense up? "Okay, lead the way." I say lightly. "Let's roll." Ryan urges, taking Pepper by the waist and leading her out the door. Mulder and I follow suit, walking with arms around each other all the way to the passenger side door of his rented mid-size tan sedan. Mulder then proceeds to open the door for me and actually holds my hand as he helps me maneuver into the car. I'm feeling pretty lightheaded; a little drunk and plenty stoned, and this definetly helps a bit with these feelings of anxiety that I have over this whole situation. I can't help but admit that my arm around his waist felt pretty good. Exciting, but wrapped in a sense of comfort from our years together. Mulder's body *is* very arousing, however, so mere tactile sense is dangerously turning me on. I have to watch my arousal tonight, seeing as I couldn't wear underwear with this dress. "P-Funk or bust, eh, Scully?" Mulder comments as he enters the car and starts it up. "Better believe it." ;-) ;-0 ;-) ;-0 ;-) ;-) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX;-0 ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-0 ;-) About an hour and a half later we arrive at Harmony Park, after an extremely awkward car ride into Southern Minnesota. We conversed on the same things that we always did, aside from bonding over mutually secretly smoking marijuana while working for the Feddy Govs, and of course, our clandestine tastes for the funk. However... Mulder was having a hard time focusing on the road. He kept glancing at me, fidgeting with the radio, glancing back at me, flipping down his visor...we almost lost Pepper and Ryan when they pulled into a gas station because he wasn't paying attention. I think I'm beginning to see the effects of this dress. Before we hit the gas station and Mulder grabbed his 48 oz. iced tea, I happened to glance at the front of his jeans and um...well, let's just say Boy Scouts could've camped down there. Thankfully, his big gulp alleviated matters, but, wow. A whole troup of Boy Scouts. I gotta stop thinking about this. Remember, no panties, Dana. We park next to Ryan and Pepper, and they get out of their 4-Runner and hop into the backseat of our car. "You guys wanna burn one before we set up?" Ryan asks as he slides in the backseat. "Sure." Mulder complies, "Do you think we'll get hassled?" "No way. This place is by hippies, for hippies. We're hella cool." Pepper answers, "You guys have an okay ride down here?" "Yeah, it was fine." I say, accepting a freshly lit joint from her and taking a draw. "The scenery was really nice." Mulder says, glancing once again in my direction. I pass him the joint. "I'll bet you got a kick ass view of Dana's legs from there, eh buddy?" Pepper laughs, nudging him in the shoulder. Mulder had just inhaled, so now he's coughing furiously at this. "I think you killed him, Pepper." Ryan laughs, "Mulder, you okay?" Mulder nods, still hacking but slowing from furious to lingering, and I realize I'm probably eight shades of red right now. Leave it to Pepper to make an awkward situation amplified into mortification. "Mulder, you should probably take a sip of your tea." I suggest. He nods and follows suit. "Thanks, Scully, I almost forgot that was down there." Mulder says gratefully, "So what time does the show start?" he asks Ryan. "In about an hour." Ryan answers, passing him the joint, "You cool to hit this again?" "Sure." Mulder replies, "As long as Pepper doesn't make any sudden moves." Lawnmower and Erica tap on my window, and a huge cloud of smoke billows out of the window when I roll it down, "Ooh, can we play too?" Erica says excitedly. "Should we get out?" Mulder asks us. "Yeah, that's cool." Ryan agrees. It feels good to stretch my legs out after the lengthy car ride, and I'm feeling pretty lightheaded from my newfound high, so I've sort of arched myself against the side of the car, eyes closed, working out tense lower back muscles. I hear Mulder suck in a sharp breath from about three feet away, and realize what I must look like right now, and de-arch my back abruptly. I open my eyes to see him to the right of me, casually holding his big gulp in front of his groin, leaning on the car. Erica and Pepper aren't being nonchalant in any sort of way, currently they're smirking at us and nudging each other in a knowing fashion, while Ryan and Mower greet an African-American guy with dreads wearing a tye-dyed t-shirt, knee-length cargo shorts, and sandals. "Hi everybody." he greets. "Hey, Aaron! Meet our super fans, all the way from D.C.! Guys, this is our drummer, Aaron. Aaron, this is Mulder and Dana. Dana is Erica's cousin." "Wow," Aaron smiles, "You came from D.C. to see us play? That's quite the haul." "Wouldn't miss it." I say, "Oh, it doesn't hurt that you're opening for P-Funk, either." "No doubt. I'd still be here, even if we weren't playing tonight." Mower laughs, "Hey Aaron, did you know that Dana and Mulder are Feddy Govs?" His eyes bug out a little and he shakes his head at the joint Mower tries to pass him. We all laugh at his reaction, and Mulder puts up his hand, "You have my assurance that Agent Scully and myself will be imbibing in the activities tonight, and no arrests will be made. Besides, we're x-files, DEA's out of our jurisdiction." he assures. "You two are the coolest Feddy Govs *I've* ever met." Aaron says, relief showing in his face, "What do the x-files cover, anyway?" "Areas of unexplained phemomena ranging from UFO activity to the paranormal, and pretty much everything in between." I answer. "Tonight, though, it's all about the extra-terrestrial funk." "Amen, cousin!" Erica laughs. "Speaking of funkin' around, shouldn't we start hauling our shit to the stage?" Ryan queries. "Do you need any extra help?" Mulder offers. "Yeah, that'd be great." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX After helping Plasmatic Brain Spasm set up, Mulder and I make our way to the concessions to grab a couple beers. There's plenty of hippies milling about, along with smatterings of funkateers and others of various and sundry at this outdoor festival. It's a beautiful late afternoon, still warm but cooling off, and now I'm really regretting not wearing a bra, either, because a cool breeze just made my nipples stand at attention, and I notice Mulder bite his lip out of the corner of my eye. Does he really find me that attractive? Why have I not noticed before? Mulder's usually a hard person to read, but tonight, I'm pretty sure of what I'm seeing. Maybe it's just the dress, but, shit, this is petrifying. We order our beers and make our way out of the concessions, "Hey Scully, I have a blanket in the car that we can sit on. Did you want to come with me to get it?" Mulder asks, offering his hand to me. "Sure." I answer, at this point on autopilot because honestly, the thought of Mulder being attracted to me in a sexual way is very arousing and unfortunately, it's all my mind can focus on at the moment. Mulder takes my hand and I trail behind him, gazing at his ass on the way back to his car. It is a beautiful ass. His back is gorgeous, too, lean and sinewy, not too bulky. Just perfect. We reach his car, still holding hands, and I trip on a pothole, completely spilling my beer, because I was too busy staring at Mulder's behind to pay attention. Mulder's quick, however, and he pulls me up before I fall, steadying me with his free arm by wrapping it around my waist and pulling me against him, "You okay, Scully?" Sure I'm okay. Except now I'm 100 percent sure that's not just something in your pocket, Mulder. I'm overcome by a gush of wet from the sudden arousal, which is gaining about 12 degrees now that he's brushing a strand of hair from my face. "I'll be fine, Mulder." I manage out in a *very* breathy voice, because he's touching me; his hand went from brushing the hair out of my face to trailing down my cheek, back around my collarbone, and it's now lightly massaging the back of my neck while his other hand has a pretty firm grip on my hip/ass region. I'm very warm now, but my nipples are no reflecting that fact. This may have to do with them brushing against his chest, accompanied by the erection which has since about doubled against his abdomen. Jesus, how big is that thing down there, anyway? "You smell nice." Mulder murmurs, leaning in and inhaling the left side of my neck, "What're you wearing?" "Dior Addict." I barely make out, "Pepper sprayed me with it earlier while we were hauling in equipment." Mulder relaxes his grip on me, "Are you going to be okay sitting on the blanket in that skirt?" he asks as he lets go altogether and moves to open the trunk. I nod, crossing my arms over my chest, "I don't really think we'll be able to sit down all that much, anyway, at least during show times. Plus, I'm a pro at dealing with the woes of female fashion. Short skirts and high heels are no match for Dana Scully." I joke, easing a bit of the tension in the air. "Tou-fuckin'-che`, Agent." Mulder smiles almost ferally at me, popping his head out from behind the trunk and saluting me with a bottle of clear liquid, "Want one, Scully? Seeing as your beer is no more, I thought we could use reinforcements." I wrinkle my nose, "You didn't think to just come here before we paid four dollars a piece for 3.2 beer?" I querie. He shrugs at me, "What can I say? I'm a fool for concessions. If I'm at any sort of festival, I have to get something. The whole feel of a fest isn't complete without first paying penance to the concession gods. So, do you want one or not?" "What *is* it?" I ask, "And furthermore, where'd *your* beer run off to?" "This is a Smirnoff Triple Black premium malt beverage. And I drank my beer on the way to the car, and dropped the empty cup when you tripped. Questions answered?" I nod, "Smirnoff accepted?" I nod again, and he smiles and passes me one, "I think you'll like it, Scully. It's like Sprite that gets you drunk." I chuckle a little as I twist off the cap and take a sip. Ooh, *very* easily drinkable. Mulder's decription was pretty accurate. I down the whole thing on the second swig and finish it off with a small hiccup. "Yeah, those are pretty good. Do you have another?" I look up to see Mulder staring at me in a mixture of dumbfounded and amusement. "Sure. Wow, I never thought I'd see the day I'd see Dana Scully chug anything that wasn't water." Mulder laughs, passing me another and pulling out the rest of the twelve pack. He closes the trunk, places the blanket on the lid and motions for me to sit with him. "Am I freaking you out, Mulder? Are you okay?" I ask jokingly as I hop on the trunk next to him. "I'll recover in time." He jokes back at me, leaning back on his elbows in this utterly sexy way. Mulder reminds me of a sprawled cat. I cross my legs uncomfortably as he continues to speak, 'Seriously though, this *is* pretty fuckin' weird, getting soused with you like this. I honestly didn't peg you the type." I look over at him (halfway through chugging down another Triple Black) raise the eyebrow, and release my bottle with a loud suction-pop from my lips, "The type?" I smile rather goofily. These things hit you pretty fast, "I'm assuming you mean someone who knows how to party?" I smirk at him. "You hide it well. I've known you seven years and had no idea you could be into Parliament/Funkadelic, had no idea you smoked weed and drink, and I definitely in a million years couldn't see you dressing this way..." "You like the dress, Mulder?" I interrupt, trying to supress a smile. I *know* he likes the fucking dress. It's just amusing to me that he brings it up, so I call him out on it. I recross my legs, exposing the one closest to him all the way to the hip. I can't believe Mulder just gulped, "Yes." he answers, then nervously slams the rest of his drink. I supress another smile (I'm feeling extra giddy, and I'm halfway through my third) and I glance over at his jeans again. To say the man was blessed is inarguable. How long has he been hard like that? It must have been at least a couple hours or so. My poor Mulder. He needs to have sex. *I* need to have sex. I realize through my fog that I am thinking dangerously right now, but this ache between my legs is definetly ready for me to throw caution to the wind. The words come out of my mouth before I have a chance to catch myself, "How long have you wanted to fuck me, Mulder?" I purr, stretching out and leaning back on my elbows like he is. I look him square in the eye. Why does he look pissed? "What are you trying to do to me, Scully? You're drunk and you aren't making sense. You aren't acting like yourself. This isn't the Scully I know." he fumes, pushing himself up, hopping off the trunk, and planting his feet in front of where I'm lounging. Mulder may look like the pissed alpha-male right now, but he's hit a nerve, and now *I'm* pissed. I sit up and face him, huffing, "Oh, Master Profiler Mulder, like there can't two sides to a person? You should know better, you pompous prick. For you information, I happened to be really aroused and noticed your dick was hard for the past couple hours; I'm not stupid, Mulder, I know that I've been turning you on, and your erection has been pretty hard not to notice, your nine inches of swinging death is as obvious as the fucking sky!" I'm escalated to feeling flushed, I'm so mad, "It just really pisses me off that you aren't man enough to admit that you just want to fuck my brains out." I growl lowly, nose to nose with him. Mulder's nostrils are flaring and he's puffing out heavy breaths like an angry bull. "You fucking bitch." he growls back at me, right before he grabs me by the ass and pulls me into the most ferocious kiss of my life. My legs turn into jello mass as teeth tug lips, tongues clash, and mouths proudly do battle. I'm so turned on right now, my body's practically screaming for him. He breaks the kiss for a split second and moves one hand from my ass up to my left breast, caressing it strongly and sending shockwaves down my spine, "This man enough for you, Scully?" he breathes into my ear. I nod and he pulls me into another devouring kiss as I moan into his mouth. I wrap my legs around his waist as I grind my naked crotch against the front of his jeans. Oh, wait a minute, that's not good. I quickly de-wrap my legs and pull away, causing Mulder to pull back a little. "What?" he asks impatiently. "I don't want you to get wet all over the front of your jeans." I say lowly, "I couldn't wear underwear with this dress." I admonish further, blushing slightly. "God that's hot." Mulder grins predatorially, "Should we move this to the backseat, maybe?" "Good idea." I nod, palming the front of his jeans and pressing down slightly. Mulder lets out another growl and nips at my neck, moving the hand still on my ass slowly under my skirt and clutching my naked behind. He groans and moves his lips down to my clavicle, attacking that particular spot with zeal, as my other hand makes it's way to squeezing his perfect ass; so round, so firm, so *awesome*. "What happened to the backseat?" I remind him, my body tormenting me with want. Mulder nods, still kissing on my neck, picks me up in his arms, and carries me to the back passenger side door, where I set my feet back on solid ground. He opens the door and I slide inside, pulling him with me by the front of his shirt. Soon my back is against the opposite door and Mulder has climbed on top of me, pulling me into another powerful kiss. I had always thought I had an inkling of how Mulder would be at this, but I guess I really had no idea. I had always pictured him as a slow, sensuously tactile lover. Instead, he's take charge, consumed with lust, and forceful. Maybe it was because I challenged his manhood that he reacted this way, or maybe this is *his* other side coming out. I like it, whatever it is. I'm definetly not complaining now that his thumb is grinding on my clitoris, and that his finger has sought entry into my yearning vagina. Wow, that feels good. I move my hands down to his pants and quickly undo his fly, reaching under his boxers and grasping his rather large penis with my right hand. He's so big and hard and soft. Mulder groans into my mouth as my hand moves slowly up and down his length, and he counters by pushing the neckline of my dress aside to expose my right breast. Mulder's thumb and fingers are still working their magic downstairs, as his other hand finds its way to the exposed breast, toying and flicking the nipple. I moan and gain speed on his handjob as I push my hips further into his hand. I don't think I've ever felt this sexy. It amazes me that my whole life, all I needed was the right sexual encounter with the right man to feel the confidence I have right now. Enough of this, I'm primed for the big show. I break our kiss and breathe into his ear, "I want you inside me." I manage out, writhing in my want. "This can be arranged." Mulder grins as he pushes my thighs further apart and I pull his pants down enough to expose his manhood. He moves his head down to my breast and begins to suckle and nip at the nub, escalating my want into overload. Mulder had stopped working on downstairs and is hauling me up, his back against the seat as he pulls me into his lap. My naked crotch slides against his, seeing as I'm so wet it could really go no other way, and his big beautiful cock rubs between my folds in the most achingly arousing way as he continues to lave at my nipple. "Tease." I manage out, raising up on my knees a bit and poising the tip of his cock at my entry. This causes him to lose contact with my breast, which is somewhat disappointing, until his hips thrust slowly upward, forcing his way inside. This is fucking amazing. Luckily, I'm so wet it isn't as initially painful as I had anticipated. I sink my hips the rest of the way down and let out the breath I had been holding in. "Ohhhhh, yeah." I groan, throwing my head back as Mulder's hips rock upward in a steady motion. I can't remember when I've felt this good; Mulder's filling me, fucking me slowly but still pawing at me forcefully, squeezing my breasts as he gazes at me with eyes glazed with lust, growling like an animal. I counter by pushing my hips with his at the pace he's set, and reach behind me to tug lightly at his balls. "Oh, Scully." he moans, attacking my neck again with his mouth, roaming up my chin, and engaging me in a slower, sweeter kiss, more soft nibbles that bites and tongue battles, accelerating the slow boil in my lower abdomen up a couple hairs. I pick up the pace and he follows, still languidly kissing my mouth but now thrusting up a little more forcefully, sending me quickly over the edge. I feel my vaginal walls start to spasm, and I arch my back as I kareening over precipice, my orgasm thrumming through every cell in my body and I let out a "Oh yes, OH MUlder" as I feel his dick swell inside me upon his release. "mm-hmmm." Mulder lets out at he spurts into me, his hands clutching my ass as he rides out his orgasm, hips thrusting jerkily as he buries his face in my neck. Holy wow. A quickie in the backseat of a rental car in the parking lot of a hippie festival. Not my personal image of where Mulder and I would've come together, but location is all how you look at it. *I've* just been to Utopia and back in this backseat. We go slack, our faces buried within each other's necks as our breathing begins to slow back down. I *really* needed this. "I'll never question your manhood again, Mulder." I mumble into his neck, breaking the silence. He chuckles, "You'd better not, or you'll get more of the same." I push my hips into his, "Don't tempt me, Mulder." I coo, pulling back just enough to nip at his earlobe. "But I like it." he argues jokingly. I reluctantly pull myself off his lap and lean over to the front seat to snag a pack of tissues from the glovebox for cleanup. Mulder smacks my ass and I let out a short peal of protest, "Mulder?!" "What?" he shrugs, feigning innocence. I smile as I roll my eyes and proceed to clean us up, straightening my dress, which was naturally disheveled during the activities, "You never answered my question earlier, Mulder." "What question?" he asks lazily as I wipe the excess juices from his parts. "How long had you wanted to fuck me?" I repeat the question slowly. "On and off since I first laid eyes on you." Mulder states nonchalantly, "I am a guy, after all. What about you? How long?" Mulder has this fabulous way of turning the tables on people. I'll bite, "On and off since I first laid eyes on you." I echo, smiling coyly as I finish his cleanup. "Why didn't we do anything about this until now?" Mulder asks the obvious question as he pulls up his pants and redoes his fly. "Because we're always in a professional atmosphere with each other, even when we're not on the clock." I answer, sitting next to him on the seat, "Now we're in an environment where our other sides are exposed, and I finally caught a glimpse of your attraction to me. I had solid evidence, so I took action." "Even on your other side, you're still thinking like the scientist." Mulder chuckles, resting his arm on the length of my thigh and squeezing my knee. Suddenly, a furious knocking echoes from the glass windows, which are completely fogged up from our sexual escapade. Shit. I roll down the window, reaching across Mulder because he's frozen in place. Great, it's Erica and Pepper. "Hey guys, want to puff a J backstage?" Pepper greets excitedly, then her and Erica immediately get slack-jawed as they connect the dots, and they proceed to laugh hysterically. "Sure, we'll go backstage." Mulder answers them as they try to calm down, playing it cool and casual even though they just busted us out. Erica sticks her head a little into the window and sniffs the air. She grins, "Hey Pepper, what do you smell in here?" Pepper's head joins Erica's and she starts giggling, "Why, I do believe I smell some *sex* up-in-heya! Congrats! The dry spell is over!" "Hooray!" Erica laughs as Mulder and I sink down in our seats, trying to surpress our own grins, "Right on Dana! You finally conquered the only do-able cock in D.C.!" Mulder looks at me and raises an eyebrow. I just shrug and let my smile take over, "Okay jokesters, do you want to lead us to the stage or what?" "Let's party, XXX-files funkateers." Pepper chuckles. Mulder and I slide out of the backseat and I check out my reflection in the passenger side rearview. I had managed to clean my lipstick off Mulder, but I didn't bother to take a look at myself. I have lipstick smeared all over my chin, mouth, and on the lower part of of cheeks. No wonder Pepper and Erica were so hysterical. How obvious did we look with the windows fogged, my lipstick smeared, hair disheveled, and the heavy smell of sex still lingering in the air? The only thing missing was the giant banner on the side of the car screaming "We're fucking in here!" more to come...I know the anticipation is killing you __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com To post, mail to xfc-ATXC@yahoogroups.com To subscribe, mail xfc-ATXC-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To unsubscribe, mail xfc-ATXC-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/xfc-atxc/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: xfc-atxc-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From gillianinchains@yahoo.com Tue Jul 26 14:55:21 2005 Date: 26 Jul 2005 11:55:21 -0700 From: a-m pop-ups Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: xfc: Final Post!!! Up for the down Stroke NC-17 Hellooo everybody! (Hi, Dr. Nick!) Okay so, I realize this is the fourth time that I've posted this story, (the 3rd in it's entirety) but I feel that I needed to clarify a few things. Although there are real individuals involved in this story, I need to state that this needs to be classified as a parody/humor, and that none of the individuals involved either condone or encourage the use of drugs or alcohol, and all of the activities within were inspired by idealistic Cheech and Chong humor that my parents listened to when I was growing up. Thank you. Up for the down Stroke (or Kiss me on my Funky Emotions) Author: gillianinchains rating: NC-17 with all things funky timeline: around season 7, which was ripe with sexual frustration disclaimer and summary: The characters of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully are not mine. We all know who created them, and it wasn't me. I'm just gettin' em funked up in this biznatch. Anyhoo, this is a Scully pov, involving funkateers and the funk nasty. Good times had by all! I'm at this point in my life where I feel I'm going to die alone. Oh sure, I have Mulder and our working relationship, but it's odd how much he really *doesn't know about me, considering all the years we've worked together. I don't feel that there's one person on this planet that really knows all my likes and dislikes. For example, I dislike stirrup pants, Soccer moms, current popular music, and NASCAR. However, I love brushed cotton, my hidden DVD collection of "South Park", and dancing around my apartment in my underwear to Parliment/Funkadelic. I love funk music; and I'll make a bet that no one ever pinned me for that one. *Especially* P- Funk and most of the offshoot groups like Bootsy's Rubber Band and the like. I've been loosely seeing the shows on and off for about twenty years, since I was a teenager and I saw them for the first time at an outdoor festival. This was back when they still had the mothership, and I was completely just blown away by it. I only have one other person in my life that shares this particular obsession, my cousin Erica, who's five years younger than I and is currently living in St. Paul, Minnesota. I don't see her that often anymore, obviously due to proximity and my job, so I am surprised to get a phone call from her when I am actually at home. "Dana! Hey, it's Erica, what's going on? I haven't talked to you in like, forever!" "Erica! Wow, how are you doing? How's Zane?" I asked, Zane being her son. "Oh, he's doing great. He hasn't had to have surgery in a while, but he does still have a little bit of a nervous stomach. I can't believe he just turned five!" Zane was born with a heart condition, and has endured quite a few surgeries the first years of his life. I am happy to hear the news, " I've been keepin' myself busy, Mower and I moved in together and we got a house on the Westside of St Paul across the street from Ryan and Pepper, and I'm going to school to expand my horizons." "Ryan and Pepper?" I querie. " Oh, you remember that Mower's a bassist, right?" "Sort of. The last time we talked you two had just gotten together; it was a band called Check, right?" "Yeah, Ryan was Mower's guitarist from that group, then they changed their name to Perfect Orange, and made a couple of albums with that before they split up. Pepper is Ryan's girlfriend and a personal homie. She's awesome, and we're both singing divas in Ryan and Mower's newest creation, Plasmatic Brain Spasm." I laugh, "You're in a band, Erica?" "A *funk* band. I knew you'd appreciate that shit, of course. Are you still chasing aliens with your super hot partner?" she asks coyly. I had showed her a picture of him at a family reunion a few years back, and she immediately developed ideas in her head. "Yes, I'm still working on the X-Files with Mulder." I answer vaguely. " Did you guys do it yet?" she asks bluntly. "No!" I answer quickly, "It's not like that, Erica. We're partners and colleagues, that's *all*." "Are you seeing anyone else?" she asks, as if to prove her point. "No, I don't have time for romance. I chase UFOs for a living, remember?" I answer, "Why does it matter to you?" Erica sighs, "Well for one, I care about your happiness, Dana. You're my favorite cousin, and I know if I didn't have nooky as long with you've been without, I'd be climbing the fucking walls! Especially with the Fox. Is he still ultra-sexy for your pleasure?" she laughs. Erica has a big, warm, hefty laugh that you can't help to go along with her. "Okay, okay, he's a goodlooking man and yes, he *still is* a goodlooking man, but he's too fucked up over his obsession with exposing the Truth to find any time for anything like romance." I tell her, trying to get her off my back. "Oh-ohhhh, I think you're hot for his bod, Dana!" she teases, "You want him to do it to you on your office desk; I bet you think about that shit all the time, huh?" Not that I'll to allude to it, but she pretty much hit the nail on the head with that statement. I refuse to answer and she's egged on by my silence, "Oh it's true!" she chuckles, "You so totally want to do it to your partner, and I don't blame you." she adds approvingly. So here's where I break down and tell the first live person my naked feelings about Fox Mulder. It's not like she knows Mulder, or would blab to anyone at the Bureau, so I figured I was safe with my cousin. Plus, I just really need to get this off my chest, "Yes. I want to fuck Mulder. You're right." I say as she gasps in delight, "It's been forever since I've had sex, and honestly, I have no taste for any other man *but* him." "And he's the seemingly unattainable, so therefore you just rock yon vibrator every night and think of him, don't you?" Erica interrupts, chuckling. "Yes. It's more than just a physical attraction to him though, and that's why I can't cross that line. When sex gets involved, people's minds become muddled. It's the quickest way to ruin the only friendship I have right now. I truly love him Erica, and I'd die without him in my life." "Sounds like your whole deal with the Fox is based on your abject fear of men and getting hurt." "Did you take psychology, Erica?" I laugh. "Last semester." she answers, chuckling, "Well, listen Dana, I had an alterior motive for calling you, and I think it's one you'll like. How do you feel about visit?" "You want me to come to St. Paul?" I ask. "Think about it. We have an extra room at our house and we're opening for P-Funk in Harmony Park in three weeks." "WHAT?" I am blown by that one and very impressed. Someone I am related to is opening for the P. "P-Funk...wha...now?" "What can I say, Dana? I'm in a kick-ass band. Ryan gave the disc to one of the members, who gave it to George, he vibed and said we could open for them the next time they're in town. Can you get vacation time this soon in advance?" "They *have* been begging me to take my vacation time. Mulder might be a little harder to persuade, but there's no *way* I'm not coming." Wow. Parliament Funkadelic. George Clinton and my cousin's band. I really need this kind of treat in my life. "Hey, request a week off so we can hang out. Late May is the best time ever in Minnesota, and we can take in some sights." Erica practically orders me, "Look, I need to start making Zane's lunch, but I'll call you again to confirm details and stuff, and I'll send you a copy of our album in the meantime so you can check us out." "That would be great. I'm looking forward to it." I reply, "I can't wait to see you." "I know! It's gonna be *awesome*. I love you, Dana; think about Fox okay? I mean, *really* think about him." "Good*bye*, Erica." I say chidingly, "I'll call you soon." "Bye Dana!" I request my time off the following Monday. No one has a problem with it, except Mulder. Just as I suspected. "Scully, we just got back on the x-files and now you're going on 'vacation'?" he says 'vacation' like its a dirty word. "Mulder, for your information, we've been working nonstop for the past three years, x-files or no, and I deserve a break to visit my cousin if I'd like to. Besides, the caseload isn't that heavy, and it's only a week. Aren't the higher ups on your back for a little vacation time as well?" I am feeling pretty defensive today. Mulder's looking sexier than usual and my vibrator's batteries ran out of juice the night before, so my hormones are on overdrive with no release. "Yeah." he answers truthfully, then his eyes brighten, "So what's so urgent in St. Paul that you have to go visit your cousin?" "She's in a band called Plasmatic Brain Spasm and they're having a show; she wanted me to get to see them and spend some time with her and her son." I answer, omitting the Parliament part of the equation. For some reason, I'm just not ready to let Mulder see that side of me, the get-off-your-ass-and-dance Dana, wallowing in the *Motor Booty Affair*, in love with "Maggot Brain", cutting her teenage teeth on "Cosmic Slop" and losing her virginity to the strains of "Dr. Funkenstein". The funk is a very personal side to me, a metaphor of sex and life in general, existence on the whole. Too vulnerable of a side for Mulder to see. "Your cousin is in a band? What do they play?" Mulder perks up, interested. "Funk music." I answer, pulling Erica's band's CD out of my purse and handing it to him. Mulder accepts the CD, "Plasmatic Brain Spasm. This looks interesting, like Gumby on LSD." he comments. The album cover is pretty quirky, involving a stage scene with a claymation band, bright color scheme, and a band of symbols across the borders, " Have you listened to it yet?" he continues. "No, I just got it in the mail today. I was going to listen to it when I got home tonight." "I can put it in my CD player if you want." Mulder offers, "I myself am curious to hear what a Scully musician sounds like." We work the rest of the afternoon listening to Plasmatic Brain Spasm in silence. I'm impressed with the overall sound, the songwriting, the production. It's making me pretty excited for my trip, actually. The day ends, and Mulder gives me back the disc as I'm leaving the office, "I'm liking the Plasmatic Brain Spasm, Scully." he says as he hands it to me. "Me, too. Good night, Mulder." I answer, taking in one last look for the day before I walk out the door. Two and half weeks later Mpls/St Paul International Airport "Holy Mutha-fuckin' shit! Dana Katherine Scully, get over here right now!" My cousin greets me at the gate, looking ever the earth mother with rings on every finger and her wild reddish-brown hair pulled back from her face with assorted colorful clips. She embraces me in a hug, and I notice that Erica has a small entourage in tow. "I missed you, my favorite cousin!" Erica goes on, pulling out of our hug and taking a good look at me. "I missed you too, Erica. I listened to your album. It's amazing." I say, then nod toward her entourage, which includes a small boy around five with curly blond hair being held by a bigger man around thirty wearing khaki pants, a flannel shirt and a blue bandana on his head, and a woman in her mid-twenties with her red hair in pigtails holding an adorably bald toddler around a year old. "Guys, this is my cousin, Dana. Dana, this is my son, Zane,"(adorable blond boy), "My boyfriend, Mower,"(the man)" and my friend Pepper and her son, Ira." "Hi, cousin Dana!" Zane greets me, hugging my knees, "My mom told me you like funk. 'We want the funk, give up that funk'." he sings at me. I laugh because he' s so adorable and quite an outgoing little guy, " I sure do." I say brightly. "I'm glad you like the album!" Pepper says to me, shaking my hand with her free one, "It's nice to finally meet you. 'Ca's been going on and on about your visit the past couple weeks." We make our way to the luggage carousel as Mower addresses me, "So Dana, you're in the FBI? What's that like?" "Nonstop working. I'm also trained as a medical doctor and forensics pathologist, so the x-files gets a lot of use out of me. I've been working within my division for the past seven years. It's pretty all-encompassing." "You really chase after aliens and shit like that?" Pepper asks, "That's so cool." A-ha. There's my bag. I snatch it from the carousel and we make our way to the parking lot,"It's actually pretty grueling work." I answer, "Not a lot of time at home, spending a lot of it in the field and in random hotels across the country." "Do you and that sexy Fox of a partner ever share a hotel room, Dana?" Erica ribs me. I know she's kidding me, but she is relentless. I say nothing, shake my head, and feel a blush of red creep into my cheeks. ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)*************************************************** Now that we're here at Erica and the Lawnmower's house, and the children are all in bed or at their grandmother's, we've decided to kick back and party a little. Yes, I do indulge. Scientifically, there has been nothing proven wrong with marijuana in moderation or otherwise. I don't toke all that often, obviously, but it *is* my vacation, so I'm in a willing way. Currently, Pepper, Erica, and myself are holed up in the bathroom, doing shots of tequila and passing a bowl of hydroponic while we play with each other's hair and engage in girl talk. This is also a rarity in my life, but like I said before, I'm in a willing way. Lawnmower and Pepper's boyfriend Ryan are currently in the den, working on a new song with their lead and bass guitars. The subject turns to sex pretty quickly, seeing as Erica's around and all. "Pepper, Dana does not get laid!" she shouts in a drunken manner, giggling as I nudge her. "Dude, I feel you. I went almost two years once." she slurs at me, "There was just so much unworthy cock before Ryan came into my life. So how long has it been?" "Seven years." I answer, choking on the hit I just took and coughing a bit. Pepper's eyes widen as her jaw goes slack, then she looks at Erica, "Wow." "Seven years." Erica echoes. "There must be, like, no decent cock in D.C." Pepper awes. "There is, she's just too afraid to hit that shit." Erica quips, "Do you have that picture of the Fox, Dana? Pepper needs some visualization to understand the situation." I grudgingly pull my wallet out of my purse and hand Pepper the snapshot I had taken of Mulder a couple of years ago. Pepper examines his picture and lets out a wolf-whistle. "Yeah, he's definetly worth saving yourself for." she moves to hand it back to me, and hesitates, "Why do you have a picture of him in your wallet, Dana?" "Because he's my friend. And I'm not 'saving myself' for him. He's a beautiful man, but a very *unavailiable* man. I'm a smart woman, I know when I don't have a chance in hell." I answer. "Has *he* seen anybody?" Erica pries. Suddenly I feel like I'm in the Grand Inquisition, on trial by jury, "No. Why do you guys *care* so much?" I am feeling defensive. "Hey look, Erica just told me that you didn't have girls to talk to. I was just trying to get you to open up, to feel me on some things." Pepper replies, putting up her hands. I relax a little, "I'm sorry. I haven't had many girlfriends in my life." I admit. "Dana, I'm your cousin. You are my family, and I want you to feel like you can trust me to talk to me. It'll do ya some good." Erica chimes in. "Dude, and I'm kick-ass." Pepper says, "I totally do not judge. What I want to know is, do you and this Fox get along?" Back to the questions, "Most of the time. We've worked together for so long, and that culminated into us becoming extensions of each other, almost." "Man, that's heavy." Pepper sighs, "Ryan and I are like that." "Yeah? How did you two meet?" I querie. Good, maybe we can focus this conversation on her, then. "Well, when we first met, I was a lesbian and he was going out with this girl, Nes. He was the barista at this coffeehouse that I used to hang at. Then we lost touch, I got back into men in the meantime, had a couple shitty half-relationships and one night stands, and then I run into Ryan at another coffeehouse downtown, and we started hanging out again. Friends at first. Dude, he's my best friend. I realized one weekend after he came to my coffeeshop and I hadn't seen him that I had a serious crush on him. I asked him out the very next time I saw him, and it's been euphoria ever since." Friends first; "Friendship is important in your relationship?" I ask. This is hitting kinda close to home for me. "*The* thing. I mean, SURE, we were totally retarded on each other the first couple months we were together. We kissed *everywhere*. We did it all the time; entire weekends-in-bed-type-shit, dude. It was awesome." she sighed, "It *still* totally rules too, we chill out together, clown on reality TV and it's terribleness, and make music together. Things are different now that we have Ira, but it's this way excellent family type thing that totally rocks my world. Ira is the best kid in the land. Ryan and I still have awesome sex. It's all good in the hood." "Mower and I have a great friendship, too, Dana. We have the same tastes, enjoy similar things..." "You forget to mention that you and Mower are also exact polar opposites, which makes for your interesting relationship." Pepper laughs, " Erica's all extra power female style, and Mower is the epitome of manly man. Other than that, they are *exactly* alike. It's crazy." "Mulder and I oppose each other a lot in theories." I start, "He's more supernaturally based, whereas I base my theories more in science." "But you work well together, don't you?" Erica asks. "Our solve rate is the highest in the Bureau. We're a highly effective team." I admonish. "Dude, think of how awesome that mouth would be." Pepper says, gazing at Mulder's picture once again, "Ryan has a great mouth too." I blush and take a shot of tequila, "I've seen him naked before. It was during a case, and he was in shock, but still, it was nice." I slur. I'm feeling pretty warm. Being stoned and drunk will do that to you. "Alright! Dude, now we're talking!" Erica exclaims, high-fiving Pepper. I shake my head at them, "We couldn't make that plunge, you guys. It would be too heartbreaking to be rejected and then I'd lose my best friend, too." "Fuck all that shit, girl. I think you're selling your life short. Look at the facts: A: You're hot for his bod. No man that *isn't* him is gonna do it for ya. 2: You're already friends, you have been for seven years and you get along well enough to stand each other for as long as that, and C: You just said that he doesn't see other females. Who's to say he ain't savin' himself for *you*? I've said my peace about this. Blessed muthafuckin' be." Pepper retorts. Erica giggles, "Blessed be." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX We passed the time the next couple days checking out the local sites and spending time with Pepper and Erica's sons. Last night, we went out dancing at a club called Ground Zero, and today, we're nursing our mini-hangovers at the Capitol View Cafe, a few blocks walk from Erica's house. It's Mexican-American fare, and Pepper and Erica recommended it for good breakfast food. I have just ordered the eggs benedict, when I notice Erica's face. She looks surprised. "What's the matter?" I ask her. Pepper answers my question for me as she notices the same thing behind me, "Hey, isn't that the only do-able cock in D.C.?" she says lowly, as I spin around to see Mulder sitting in the non-smoking section across the room. Apparently, he took his vacation as well. I am not pleased. "You're mad about this?" Erica questions when my face falls into a glare. "Your damn right I'm mad! What right does he have to follow me around on my vacation? The man must honestly think I can't take a piss without his presense! I see him day in and day out in D.C., there was absolutely no need to follow me to St. Paul." I hiss, keeping my voice low. "I, for one, think it's romantic. He can't hang without you, Dana." Pepper says, doling pieces of bread to Ira as he gobbles them down. "I agree." Erica chimes in, "Why would he want to piss you off?" I shrug, take a deep breath and sip my coffee. The truth is, ever since our drunk-and-stoned girl talk session the other night, I had been playing out scenarios in my head of Mulder and I together intimately. I can't help but get jealous of their descriptions of their relationships with their men. Friends and lovers? Could it even be possible? Mulder and I, actually taking the plunge, being so into the other that your mind melts and you're naturally high just being with each other. Lazy weekends of being in bed together, making love til we pass out, then waking up to do it all over again. If only my reality could live up to this fantasy. "Mommy?" Zane whines, tugging on Erica's shirtsleeve, "I have to go to the bathroom." "Alright, kiddo, let's do this." Erica sighs, "I'll be right back you guys." "Cool." Pepper answers, "More coffee, Dana?" she asks me as they walk away. "Scully?" I hear Mulder say. "Oh, balls. I blew your cover." Pepper whispers, "I'm sorry." He makes his way over to us from the cashier after paying for his meal, looking relaxed and easy in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I forget how good he looks on his off time. I am still angry with him though, sort of. "What brings you to St. Paul, Mulder? More alien abductions or monsters for me to leave my vacation on?" I start in on him immediately. "Oh, ye have little faith, Scully. There are no new monsters that I know of." Mulder replies. Ira breaks the slight pause with a giggled, "Butt." to which his mother counters, "Chicken." This makes him let out another baby chuckle and he looks up at Mulder and points, "Why?" he asks. "Aren't you going to introduce us, Dana?" Pepper asks. "Forgive my manners. Pepper, this is Fox Mulder, my partner at the FBI, Mulder this is Pepper, Erica's best friend..." "The other female vocalist in Plasmatic Brain Spasm." Mulder interrupts me, shaking her hand. "You've listened to the disc?" Pepper smiles, shooting me a look of approval. "This is why I am here." Mulder answers, "You aren't the only one taking in a live show on your vacation, Scully." he winks at me. My stomach drops. Mulder, at a P-Funk show? Meanwhile, Pepper continues to conversate with him, "You came all the way here from D.C. to see us live? Right on! Oh, this here is my adorable little dude, Ira." "Hi, Ira." Mulder says, kneeling down and pattin the little boy on the head, "How are things?" "Puppypuppypuppy." Ira chants, using his index finger to poke at Mulder's cheek. "No, Fox. Can you say *Fox*?" Pepper chuckles, practically glowing with love for her son. She turns back to Mulder, "So where are you staying?" "The Radisson in downtown St. Paul. Someone recommended this place to me for breakfast; I didn't think I was going to run into you at all, Scully, except maybe at the show." Erica and Zane make their way back from the bathroom. "Hi, mister man! I like big butts and I cannot lie!" Zane greets Mulder, "Who're you?" "Erica, Zane, this is my partner at the FBI, Fox Mulder." I introduce, "He came to see your mommy's band play tonight." Zane beams with a cherubic grin, "And P-Funk? We want the funk, give up that funk." he sings. "Yeah, that was the clincher for me; I looked up your show on the Internet, and when it said you were playing with Parliament/Funkadelic, I knew I had to be here." Mulder says, shaking Erica's hand, "I'm pleased to meet you, Erica." "You too! Dana's told me about you and I think we're gonna get along great!" Erica replies, "So you like P-Funk? Dana, you didn't tell me about this! You, being the funkateer you that you are?" she turns to me and my whole world falls under my feet. This is too odd. How many government agents have secret tastes for the funk? "You're into P-Funk, Scully?" Mulder asks impishly as he pulls up a chair next to me. "You didn't know this?" Erica queries, ""Yeah, Dana *loves* the P. She's the one who introduced me to it when we were kids." I just nod as my stomach does somersaults. I'm not ready for this side of me to open up to him, but now I really have no choice, "What can I say? I'm hip to the mothership." I shrug. "You're just full of surprises, aren't you Scully?" Mulder smiles, looking so beautiful I just want to jump him, damn the consequences. The reaction would be too great, however, so I just smile back at him, " I guess I'm not the only one." I counter. ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)************************************************************************************************;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-0 ;-) Erica invited Mulder to walk back with us to the house and meet the guys, and now we're back in her kitchen; Ryan and the Lawnmower eating the takeout that Erica and Pepper brought back for them and conversating about the correlation between funk and life on other planets with Mulder. Pepper and Erica pull me aside into Erica's bedroom under the guise of finding me something to wear for the show that night, and immediately tear into me. "Holy Crap! He's like, even way sexier in person!" Pepper exclaims in a whisper, "How do you live? Honestly?" "No shit, dude!! Plus, he's a genius, and he's *nice*. I bet he'd do anything for you, huh?" Erica joins in the attack. "Exactly. Which is why I can't jeopardize what we have. I can't lose him in my life." I argue. "It's no use, Erica. Dana is gonna come to her own conclusions at her own time. I'm starting to feel like a meddling old biddy, dude." Pepper sighs, "But that doesn't mean we can't dress you up extra sexy for tonight." she perks up, waggling her eyebrows. Erica laughs her patented hearty laugh, "We are *so* getting you up onstage for 'Atomic Dawg'." I assume that Erica and Pepper had been conspiring to dress me up for a while, because there's a pile of clothing Pepper had brought from her house across the street, along with my suitcase on Erica's bed. "We have plenty of stuff to pick from," Erica begins, "You're stuff was pretty squarewave, but I think we have a nice base to work on." "Ain't no way you ain't gettin up on that stage, girl." Pepper adds jovially. There's a portion of the Parliament shows where they play "Atomic Dawg" and bring good-looking women up onstage to dance with the band. It had always been sort of a fantasy of mine, but I've always been pretty shy and usually stay away from the front of the crowd these later days to avoid possible embarassment. Pepper and Erica are bound and determined to get me up there, especially after I disclosed this little tidbit of information with them. I'm actually giving in this time. Erica picks up a green piece of fabric. The color's nice, it's sort of an olive green, "We thought this one might look great on your frame." "Try it on! I wanna see what it looks like!" Pepper exclaims, "I have the perfect accessories for that shit, if you likes." Erica hands it to me and I retreat to the adjoining bathroom. I undress and manage to figure out my way through the material. This is one tricky dress. I finally figure it out and... Holy Shit. Wow. It has a plunging neckline in a deep V that reaches the bottom of my breastbone with soft loose ruffles along the hem of the neckline, flowing down the center into the short, clingy, asymmetrically cut skirt, and capped sleeves as short as my shoulder: this dress *is*sex. These panties have to go; this skirt is too clingy for pantylines. I can't believe I'm actually going to go to a show in this fuck-me dress. I know I can't say no, though. Erica and Pepper wouldn't have that, and they are vigilant. I get back to the bedroom, and it's just as I suspected. "Oh, fuck yes!" Erica spouts. "Dude, I have the most perfect shoes for your gear! You look *way* hot, right Erica?" Pepper gleams, pulling out a pair of olive green thong sandals with a low heel, "These won't be so heinous for the show, either." she adds. "I don't know about this." I hesitate. This is me, but it isn't me at the same time. Mulder's going to be at this show, and for this dress to be on my body... well, it could get dangerous. "You don't know!!!" Erica practically yells, incredulous, "This is your guarantee to the Atomic Dawg, right here."she gestures at me, "Dana, this dress is perfect. What're you afraid of? You are too fucking gorgeous to put yourself on a back shelf like this." Ryan enters the room with Ira in his arms and breaks the conversation, "Sweetie, I'm taking Ira home for his nap before my mom comes to pick him up, then I'm gonna get our gear ready to go for tonight." he says as he pulls her in a three way hug with their son, " I'll see you in a bit?" "Fer sure, baby." Pepper nods, "Ryan, tell Dana the dress is awesome. She doesn't believe us." Ryan's eyes bug out a little when he sees me, and he nods furiously, "Yeah, Dana, that's a super-hot dress." he admits, "Okay, Pepper, I'm gonna do this. See you guys later." "I'll be home in no more than twenty." Pepper smiles, kissing him goodbye. He leaves the room and Pepper and Erica burst out laughing, "Dude, you almost made Ryan pop wood!" Pepper chuckles, "Believe that!" "Okay, okay, I'll wear the goddamn dress." I cave, "What're you guys wearing?" "Oh, you'll see soon enough." Erica laughs. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX We finish up in the bedroom and return back to the kitchen to the Lawnmower's hearty laughter. "What's happening in *here*?" Erica asks brightly. "Shooting the shit." Mower answers, "Did you guys get your girl shit squared away?" "Oh, yeah." Pepper smiles, gathering her purse and house keys, "Dana's hooked up." "How are you getting to the show, Scully?" Mulder asks me. "Hey, you guys should ride together!" Erica exclaims, "It sure as fuck beats being crammed in with all our gear, Dana." Thanks for backing me into a corner, Erica. "That's not a bad idea, actually." Pepper agrees, "They can follow us in Fox's car. Well, I should split. We should rendezvous in a couple hours and head down there A.S.A.P. to get our shit set up." "So it's settled." Mulder smiles, "Scully and I will follow you in my car." "Bye guys." Pepper says, "We're gonna funk the hell out of Harmony Park." she adds on her way out the door. Mulder stands up, "I should probably go as well, I still have to go shower and change. Should I meet you back here in two hours?" "Yeah." Mower nods. "You had better be punctual for our date, Scully." Mulder says jokingly, leaning into me a bit. "Just don't call it a date and I'll be as punctual as you'd like." I joke back, nudging him in the shoulder. "You pierce my heart with your cold words, Lady." Mulder deadpans, holding his hand to his chest, " I'll be back in a couple hours, then. Really nice to meet you, Mower, Erica. I can't wait for the show." "Nice meeting you too!" Erica smiles, walking him to the door, "Drive safe." "I will." Mulder says, issuing a wave as he leaves. Erica turns to me after she closes the door behind him, "No wonder!" "No wonder what?" I ask. I am confused. "No wonder you aren't getting laid if you shoot him down like that every chance you get." Erica finishes, wagging her finger at me. "I don't think *you* could tell, Erica, but he was plainly kidding. He does it all the time." I counter. Erica turns to Mower, "Please back me up on this one, Babe." "Actually Dana, it looked like he was trying to feel out the territory." Mower agrees with her, "Guys will do that if they aren't sure, because they can always write it off as a joke later if it doesn't work out." "For seven years, though?" "You work together, Dana." Erica states, "And his job is important to him. I think that you are also important to him, and that he's just as scared as you are." "Knock out some of that fear with a little of this." Mower says, handing me a pipe. I shake my head, "The last thing I need right now is to be high in front of Mulder." "Why not? He was high in front of you." Mower retorts. "He was smoking pot?" I am surprised. I accept the bowl. "Yeah, he smoked a joint with me and Ryan while you guys were in the bedroom." Mower laughs, "I think you two have more in common than you realize." I choke and cough, exhaling a cloud of smoke as I pass the bowl to Erica, "Maybe so." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX It's been two hours, and Mulder has just pulled up to the house. My stomach is a wild case of butterflies at extreme play, so I take another puff off the coffee-flavored blunt that Erica just passed me. We had a lot of fun getting ready. Erica and I curled each other's hair while doing shots of vodka, and dressed between hits of pot. Erica is donning a striped multicolored knee-length dress in hues of white, orange, yellow, and blue with long belled sleeves and a plunging neckline to accentuate ample bosom. On her feets she's wearing bright blue calf-length Doc Martens. Oh my god. Mulder's here. He's really here, knocking at the door, ready to pick me up for our "date", with me in the fuck-me dress. I freeze at his knock and Erica pats my knee assuringly and gets up to open the door. "Heya Fox! Come on in." Erica greets. "You look very colorful, Erica." Mulder comments, sauntering in wearing jeans and a blue t-shirt. "Thanks for the compliment!" Erica laughs, "Dana, you should pass Fox that blunt you've been parking on." "Sorry." I say, getting up from my station on the couch and offering it to him, "Hey, Mulder." I say, feeling even more abnormally shy than I already am. "Nice, Scully." Mulder says smoothly, looking me up and down, "Do you always dress this way for funk shows?" "We're making sure her ass is onstage for 'Atomic Dawg' tonight." Erica cuts in. "Well, there's no way they could say no to you in *this*, Scully." Mulder says, hitting the blunt and gesturing at me, "Honestly, you look stunning." "Thank you." Wow. Mulder just paid me a genuine compliment. I have nothing to say. I'm dumbfounded. Pepper and Ryan burst through the door, "It's funk time, bitches!" Pepper exclaims. They're looking quite colorful themselves. Ryan is wearing a pair of black satin pants with a patchwork block of pink and blue going down the left leg, a blue mesh sleeveless shirt, clunky black shoes, and huge pink polka dot sunglasses, and Pepper adorns a short silver lame` tunic skirt with slits all the way to the waistband on both sides, a baby blue ringer tee with a picture of Gonzo from the Muppets in a darker blue, knee-length blue argyle socks and calf length silver platform boots. "Are you guys ready to hit it?" Ryan asks. The Lawnmower emerges into the living room wearing a maroon velvet track suit, "All our gear's loaded up and ready to go, and I just got off the phone with Aaron, he's heading out now." "Awesome. Well, let's get the hiz-itch out of diz-odge, then." Pepper says, "Dana, you look marvelous, dah-ling! I bet you feel lucky escorting this luscious creature tonight, eh buddy?" Mulder winks at her, "I'm the luckiest." he deadpans, grasping me by the waist and taking me by surprise, "Shall I escort you to your carriage, Scully?" he asks me, arm around my waist as he leads me toward the door. I shoot a glance at Erica, who's smiling a little too suspiciously, "We'll be right behind you guys. We just have to lock up. You and Fox can start following Pepper and Ryan in their car." Mulder still has his arm around my waist, sending maddening tingles down my spine. I don't want to seem like this is affecting me, though, so I slip my arm around his waist. Did he just tense up? "Okay, lead the way." I say lightly. "Let's roll." Ryan urges, taking Pepper by the waist and leading her out the door. Mulder and I follow suit, walking with arms around each other all the way to the passenger side door of his rented mid-size tan sedan. Mulder then proceeds to open the door for me and actually holds my hand as he helps me maneuver into the car. I'm feeling pretty lightheaded; a little drunk and plenty stoned, and this definetly helps a bit with these feelings of anxiety that I have over this whole situation. I can't help but admit that my arm around his waist felt pretty good. Exciting, but wrapped in a sense of comfort from our years together. Mulder's body *is* very arousing, however, so mere tactile sense is dangerously turning me on. I have to watch my arousal tonight, seeing as I couldn't wear underwear with this dress. "P-Funk or bust, eh, Scully?" Mulder comments as he enters the car and starts it up. "Better believe it." ;-) ;-0 ;-) ;-0 ;-) ;-) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX;-0 ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-0 ;-) About an hour and a half later we arrive at Harmony Park, after an extremely awkward car ride into Southern Minnesota. We conversed on the same things that we always did, aside from bonding over mutually secretly smoking marijuana while working for the Feddy Govs, and of course, our clandestine tastes for the funk. However... Mulder was having a hard time focusing on the road. He kept glancing at me, fidgeting with the radio, glancing back at me, flipping down his visor...we almost lost Pepper and Ryan when they pulled into a gas station because he wasn't paying attention. I think I'm beginning to see the effects of this dress. Before we hit the gas station and Mulder grabbed his 48 oz. iced tea, I happened to glance at the front of his jeans and um...well, let's just say Boy Scouts could've camped down there. Thankfully, his big gulp alleviated matters, but, wow. A whole troup of Boy Scouts. I gotta stop thinking about this. Remember, no panties, Dana. We park next to Ryan and Pepper, and they get out of their 4-Runner and hop into the backseat of our car. "You guys wanna burn one before we set up?" Ryan asks as he slides in the backseat. "Sure." Mulder complies, "Do you think we'll get hassled?" "No way. This place is by hippies, for hippies. We're hella cool." Pepper answers, "You guys have an okay ride down here?" "Yeah, it was fine." I say, accepting a freshly lit joint from her and taking a draw. "The scenery was really nice." Mulder says, glancing once again in my direction. I pass him the joint. "I'll bet you got a kick ass view of Dana's legs from there, eh buddy?" Pepper laughs, nudging him in the shoulder. Mulder had just inhaled, so now he's coughing furiously at this. "I think you killed him, Pepper." Ryan laughs, "Mulder, you okay?" Mulder nods, still hacking but slowing from furious to lingering, and I realize I'm probably eight shades of red right now. Leave it to Pepper to make an awkward situation amplified into mortification. "Mulder, you should probably take a sip of your tea." I suggest. He nods and follows suit. "Thanks, Scully, I almost forgot that was down there." Mulder says gratefully, "So what time does the show start?" he asks Ryan. "In about an hour." Ryan answers, passing him the joint, "You cool to hit this again?" "Sure." Mulder replies, "As long as Pepper doesn't make any sudden moves." Lawnmower and Erica tap on my window, and a huge cloud of smoke billows out of the window when I roll it down, "Ooh, can we play too?" Erica says excitedly. "Should we get out?" Mulder asks us. "Yeah, that's cool." Ryan agrees. It feels good to stretch my legs out after the lengthy car ride, and I'm feeling pretty lightheaded from my newfound high, so I've sort of arched myself against the side of the car, eyes closed, working out tense lower back muscles. I hear Mulder suck in a sharp breath from about three feet away, and realize what I must look like right now, and de-arch my back abruptly. I open my eyes to see him to the right of me, casually holding his big gulp in front of his groin, leaning on the car. Erica and Pepper aren't being nonchalant in any sort of way, currently they're smirking at us and nudging each other in a knowing fashion, while Ryan and Mower greet an African-American guy with dreads wearing a tye-dyed t-shirt, knee-length cargo shorts, and sandals. "Hi everybody." he greets. "Hey, Aaron! Meet our super fans, all the way from D.C.! Guys, this is our drummer, Aaron. Aaron, this is Mulder and Dana. Dana is Erica's cousin." "Wow," Aaron smiles, "You came from D.C. to see us play? That's quite the haul." "Wouldn't miss it." I say, "Oh, it doesn't hurt that you're opening for P-Funk, either." "No doubt. I'd still be here, even if we weren't playing tonight." Mower laughs, "Hey Aaron, did you know that Dana and Mulder are Feddy Govs?" His eyes bug out a little and he shakes his head at the joint Mower tries to pass him. We all laugh at his reaction, and Mulder puts up his hand, "You have my assurance that Agent Scully and myself will be imbibing in the activities tonight, and no arrests will be made. Besides, we're x-files, DEA's out of our jurisdiction." he assures. "You two are the coolest Feddy Govs *I've* ever met." Aaron says, relief showing in his face, "What do the x-files cover, anyway?" "Areas of unexplained phemomena ranging from UFO activity to the paranormal, and pretty much everything in between." I answer. "Tonight, though, it's all about the extra-terrestrial funk." "Amen, cousin!" Erica laughs. "Speaking of funkin' around, shouldn't we start hauling our shit to the stage?" Ryan queries. "Do you need any extra help?" Mulder offers. "Yeah, that'd be great." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX After helping Plasmatic Brain Spasm set up, Mulder and I make our way to the concessions to grab a couple beers. There's plenty of hippies milling about, along with smatterings of funkateers and others of various and sundry at this outdoor festival. It's a beautiful late afternoon, still warm but cooling off, and now I'm really regretting not wearing a bra, either, because a cool breeze just made my nipples stand at attention, and I notice Mulder bite his lip out of the corner of my eye. Does he really find me that attractive? Why have I not noticed before? Mulder's usually a hard person to read, but tonight, I'm pretty sure of what I'm seeing. Maybe it's just the dress, but, shit, this is petrifying. We order our beers and make our way out of the concessions, "Hey Scully, I have a blanket in the car that we can sit on. Did you want to come with me to get it?" Mulder asks, offering his hand to me. "Sure." I answer, at this point on autopilot because honestly, the thought of Mulder being attracted to me in a sexual way is very arousing and unfortunately, it's all my mind can focus on at the moment. Mulder takes my hand and I trail behind him, gazing at his ass on the way back to his car. It is a beautiful ass. His back is gorgeous, too, lean and sinewy, not too bulky. Just perfect. We reach his car, still holding hands, and I trip on a pothole, completely spilling my beer, because I was too busy staring at Mulder's behind to pay attention. Mulder's quick, however, and he pulls me up before I fall, steadying me with his free arm by wrapping it around my waist and pulling me against him, "You okay, Scully?" Sure I'm okay. Except now I'm 100 percent sure that's not just something in your pocket, Mulder. I'm overcome by a gush of wet from the sudden arousal, which is gaining about 12 degrees now that he's brushing a strand of hair from my face. "I'll be fine, Mulder." I manage out in a *very* breathy voice, because he's touching me; his hand went from brushing the hair out of my face to trailing down my cheek, back around my collarbone, and it's now lightly massaging the back of my neck while his other hand has a pretty firm grip on my hip/ass region. I'm very warm now, but my nipples are no reflecting that fact. This may have to do with them brushing against his chest, accompanied by the erection which has since about doubled against his abdomen. Jesus, how big is that thing down there, anyway? "You smell nice." Mulder murmurs, leaning in and inhaling the left side of my neck, "What're you wearing?" "Dior Addict." I barely make out, "Pepper sprayed me with it earlier while we were hauling in equipment." Mulder relaxes his grip on me, "Are you going to be okay sitting on the blanket in that skirt?" he asks as he lets go altogether and moves to open the trunk. I nod, crossing my arms over my chest, "I don't really think we'll be able to sit down all that much, anyway, at least during show times. Plus, I'm a pro at dealing with the woes of female fashion. Short skirts and high heels are no match for Dana Scully." I joke, easing a bit of the tension in the air. "Tou-fuckin'-che`, Agent." Mulder smiles almost ferally at me, popping his head out from behind the trunk and saluting me with a bottle of clear liquid, "Want one, Scully? Seeing as your beer is no more, I thought we could use reinforcements." I wrinkle my nose, "You didn't think to just come here before we paid four dollars a piece for 3.2 beer?" I querie. He shrugs at me, "What can I say? I'm a fool for concessions. If I'm at any sort of festival, I have to get something. The whole feel of a fest isn't complete without first paying penance to the concession gods. So, do you want one or not?" "What *is* it?" I ask, "And furthermore, where'd *your* beer run off to?" "This is a Smirnoff Triple Black premium malt beverage. And I drank my beer on the way to the car, and dropped the empty cup when you tripped. Questions answered?" I nod, "Smirnoff accepted?" I nod again, and he smiles and passes me one, "I think you'll like it, Scully. It's like Sprite that gets you drunk." I chuckle a little as I twist off the cap and take a sip. Ooh, *very* easily drinkable. Mulder's decription was pretty accurate. I down the whole thing on the second swig and finish it off with a small hiccup. "Yeah, those are pretty good. Do you have another?" I look up to see Mulder staring at me in a mixture of dumbfounded and amusement. "Sure. Wow, I never thought I'd see the day I'd see Dana Scully chug anything that wasn't water." Mulder laughs, passing me another and pulling out the rest of the twelve pack. He closes the trunk, places the blanket on the lid and motions for me to sit with him. "Am I freaking you out, Mulder? Are you okay?" I ask jokingly as I hop on the trunk next to him. "I'll recover in time." He jokes back at me, leaning back on his elbows in this utterly sexy way. Mulder reminds me of a sprawled cat. I cross my legs uncomfortably as he continues to speak, "Seriously though, this *is* pretty fuckin' weird, getting soused with you like this. I honestly didn't peg you the type." I look over at him (halfway through chugging down another Triple Black) raise the eyebrow, and release my bottle with a loud suction-pop from my lips, "The type?" I smile rather goofily. These things hit you pretty fast, "I'm assuming you mean someone who knows how to party?" I smirk at him. "You hide it well. I've known you seven years and had no idea you could be into Parliament/Funkadelic, had no idea you smoked weed and drink, and I definitely in a million years couldn't see you dressing this way..." "You like the dress, Mulder?" I interrupt, trying to surpress a smile. I *know* he likes the fucking dress. It's just amusing to me that he brings it up, so I call him out on it. I recross my legs, exposing the one closest to him all the way to the hip. I can't believe Mulder just gulped, "Yes." he answers, then nervously slams the rest of his drink. I surpress another smile (I'm feeling extra giddy, and I'm halfway through my third) and I glance over at his jeans again. To say the man was blessed is inarguable. How long has he been hard like that? It must have been at least a couple hours or so. My poor Mulder. He needs to have sex. *I* need to have sex. I realize through my fog that I am thinking dangerously right now, but this ache between my legs is definitely ready for me to throw caution to the wind. The words come out of my mouth before I have a chance to catch myself, "How long have you wanted to fuck me, Mulder?" I purr, stretching out and leaning back on my elbows like he is. I look him square in the eye. Why does he look pissed? "What are you trying to do to me, Scully? You're drunk and you aren't making sense. You aren't acting like yourself. This isn't the Scully I know." he fumes, pushing himself up, hopping off the trunk, and planting his feet in front of where I'm lounging. Mulder may look like the pissed alpha-male right now, but he's hit a nerve, and now *I'm* pissed. I sit up and face him, huffing, "Oh, Master Profiler Mulder, like there can't two sides to a person? You should know better, you pompous prick. For you information, I happened to be really aroused and noticed your dick was hard for the past couple hours; I'm not stupid, Mulder, I know that I've been turning you on, and your erection has been pretty hard not to notice, your nine inches of swinging death is as obvious as the fucking sky!" I'm escalated to feeling flushed, I'm so mad, "It just really pisses me off that you aren't man enough to admit that you just want to fuck my brains out." I growl lowly, nose to nose with him. Mulder's nostrils are flaring and he's puffing out heavy breaths like an angry bull. "You fucking bitch." he growls back at me, right before he grabs me by the ass and pulls me into the most ferocious kiss of my life. My legs turn into jello mass as teeth tug lips, tongues clash, and mouths proudly do battle. I'm so turned on right now, my body's practically screaming for him. He breaks the kiss for a split second and moves one hand from my ass up to my left breast, caressing it strongly and sending shockwaves down my spine, "This man enough for you, Scully?" he breathes into my ear. I nod and he pulls me into another devouring kiss as I moan into his mouth. I wrap my legs around his waist as I grind my naked crotch against the front of his jeans. Oh, wait a minute, that's not good. I quickly de-wrap my legs and pull away, causing Mulder to pull back a little. "What?" he asks impatiently. "I don't want you to get wet all over the front of your jeans." I say lowly, "I couldn't wear underwear with this dress." I admonish further, blushing slightly. "God that's hot." Mulder grins predatorially, "Should we move this to the backseat, maybe?" "Good idea." I nod, palming the front of his jeans and pressing down slightly. Mulder lets out another growl and nips at my neck, moving the hand still on my ass slowly under my skirt and clutching my naked behind. He groans and moves his lips down to my clavicle, attacking that particular spot with zeal, as my other hand makes it's way to squeezing his perfect ass; so round, so firm, so *awesome*. "What happened to the backseat?" I remind him, my body tormenting me with want. Mulder nods, still kissing on my neck, picks me up in his arms, and carries me to the back passenger side door, where I set my feet back on solid ground. He opens the door and I slide inside, pulling him with me by the front of his shirt. Soon my back is against the opposite door and Mulder has climbed on top of me, pulling me into another powerful kiss. I had always thought I had an inkling of how Mulder would be at this, but I guess I really had no idea. I had always pictured him as a slow, sensuously tactile lover. Instead, he's take charge, consumed with lust, and forceful. Maybe it was because I challenged his manhood that he reacted this way, or maybe this is *his* other side coming out. I like it, whatever it is. I'm definetly not complaining now that his thumb is grinding on my clitoris, and that his finger has sought entry into my yearning vagina. Wow, that feels good. I move my hands down to his pants and quickly undo his fly, reaching under his boxers and grasping his rather large penis with my right hand. He's so big and hard and soft. Mulder groans into my mouth as my hand moves slowly up and down his length, and he counters by pushing the neckline of my dress aside to expose my right breast. Mulder's thumb and fingers are still working their magic downstairs, as his other hand finds its way to the exposed breast, toying and flicking the nipple. I moan and gain speed on his handjob as I push my hips further into his hand. I don't think I've ever felt this sexy. It amazes me that my whole life, all I needed was the right sexual encounter with the right man to feel the confidence I have right now. Enough of this, I'm primed for the big show. I break our kiss and breathe into his ear, "I want you inside me." I manage out, writhing in my want. "This can be arranged." Mulder grins as he pushes my thighs further apart and I pull his pants down enough to expose his manhood. He moves his head down to my breast and begins to suckle and nip at the nub, escalating my want into overload. Mulder had stopped working on downstairs and is hauling me up, his back against the seat as he pulls me into his lap. My naked crotch slides against his, seeing as I'm so wet it could really go no other way, and his big beautiful cock rubs between my folds in the most achingly arousing way as he continues to lave at my nipple. "Tease." I manage out, raising up on my knees a bit and poising the tip of his cock at my entry. This causes him to lose contact with my breast, which is somewhat disappointing, until his hips thrust slowly upward, forcing his way inside. This is fucking amazing. Luckily, I'm so wet it isn't as initially painful as I had anticipated. I sink my hips the rest of the way down and let out the breath I had been holding in. "Ohhhhh, yeah." I groan, throwing my head back as Mulder's hips rock upward in a steady motion. I can't remember when I've felt this good; Mulder's filling me, fucking me slowly but still pawing at me forcefully, squeezing my breasts as he gazes at me with eyes glazed with lust, growling like an animal. I counter by pushing my hips with his at the pace he's set, and reach behind me to tug lightly at his balls. "Oh, Scully." he moans, attacking my neck again with his mouth, roaming up my chin, and engaging me in a slower, sweeter kiss, more soft nibbles that bites and tongue battles, accelerating the slow boil in my lower abdomen up a couple hairs. I pick up the pace and he follows, still languidly kissing my mouth but now thrusting up a little more forcefully, sending me quickly over the edge. I feel my vaginal walls start to spasm, and I arch my back as I kareening over precipice, my orgasm thrumming through every cell in my body and I let out a "Oh yes, OH MUlder" as I feel his dick swell inside me upon his release. "mm-hmmm." Mulder lets out at he spurts into me, his hands clutching my ass as he rides out his orgasm, hips thrusting jerkily as he buries his face in my neck. Holy wow. A quickie in the backseat of a rental car in the parking lot of a hippie festival. Not my personal image of where Mulder and I would've come together, but location is all how you look at it. *I've* just been to Utopia and back in this backseat. We go slack, our faces buried within each other's necks as our breathing begins to slow back down. I *really* needed this. "I'll never question your manhood again, Mulder." I mumble into his neck, breaking the silence. He chuckles, "You'd better not, or you'll get more of the same." I push my hips into his, "Don't tempt me, Mulder." I coo, pulling back just enough to nip at his earlobe. "But I like it." he argues jokingly. I reluctantly pull myself off his lap and lean over to the front seat to snag a pack of tissues from the glovebox for cleanup. Mulder smacks my ass and I let out a short peal of protest, "Mulder?!" "What?" he shrugs, feigning innocence. I smile as I roll my eyes and proceed to clean us up, straightening my dress, which was naturally disheveled during the activities, "You never answered my question earlier, Mulder." "What question?" he asks lazily as I wipe the excess juices from his parts. "How long had you wanted to fuck me?" I repeat the question slowly. "On and off since I first laid eyes on you." Mulder states nonchalantly, "I am a guy, after all. What about you? How long?" Mulder has this fabulous way of turning the tables on people. I'll bite, "On and off since I first laid eyes on you." I echo, smiling coyly as I finish his cleanup. "Why didn't we do anything about this until now?" Mulder asks the obvious question as he pulls up his pants and redoes his fly. "Because we're always in a professional atmosphere with each other, even when we're not on the clock." I answer, sitting next to him on the seat, "Now we're in an environment where our other sides are exposed, and I finally caught a glimpse of your attraction to me. I had solid evidence, so I took action." "Even on your other side, you're still thinking like the scientist." Mulder chuckles, resting his arm on the length of my thigh and squeezing my knee. Suddenly, a furious knocking echoes from the glass windows, which are completely fogged up from our sexual escapade. Shit. I roll down the window, reaching across Mulder because he's frozen in place. Great, it's Erica and Pepper. "Hey guys, want to puff a J backstage?" Pepper greets excitedly, then her and Erica immediately get slack-jawed as they connect the dots, and they proceed to laugh hysterically. "Sure, we'll go backstage." Mulder answers them as they try to calm down, playing it cool and casual even though they just busted us out. Erica sticks her head a little into the window and sniffs the air. She grins, "Hey Pepper, what do you smell in here?" Pepper's head joins Erica's and she starts giggling, "Why, I do believe I smell some *sex* up-in-heya! Congrats! The dry spell is over!" "Hooray!" Erica laughs as Mulder and I sink down in our seats, trying to surpress our own grins, "Right on Dana! You finally conquered the only do-able cock in D.C.!" Mulder looks at me and raises an eyebrow. I just shrug and let my smile take over, "Okay jokesters, do you want to lead us to the stage or what?" "Let's party, XXX-files funkateers." Pepper chuckles. Mulder and I slide out of the backseat and I check out my reflection in the passenger side rearview. I had managed to clean my lipstick off Mulder, but I didn't bother to take a look at myself. I have lipstick smeared all over my chin, mouth, and on the lower part of my cheeks. No wonder Pepper and Erica were so hysterical. How obvious did we look with the windows fogged, my lipstick smeared, hair disheveled, and the heavy smell of sex still lingering in the air? The only thing missing was the giant banner on the side of the car screaming "We're fucking in here!" I grab another tissue and undo the damage to my face and hair. There, that's better. Now, I just have the less obvious afterglow from the sex, which I can deal with. It looks good on me. We follow Pepper and Erica through the throng of hippies and funkateers linking fingers until we reach the rest of Plasmatic Brain Spasm backstage. "We *finally* found these fuckers!" Erica exclaims as we approach Ryan, Lawnmower, Aaron, and a petite brunette wearing a short tangerine sequined skirt, a paisley halter top in the same shade, matching paisley knee-length boots, and a velvet matching bucket hat. She is holding a lighter and one of the biggest joints I've seen in my life. "Nes, these are the coolest Feds in the galaxy," Pepper introduces us to the brunette, "Mulder, Dana, this is Nes, a homegirl constant in the ere of funkism." "Nice to meet you," Nes smiles, "You guys ready to blaze?" "Oh yeah." Mulder smiles, "How long now til you guys go on?" "Like, ten minutes?" Ryan answers in more of question as Nes passes him the now blazing mighty joint. "This is it! I can't believe that we're opening for the P!" Erica exclaims, hopping a little. "Dude, it's so awesome I could just hurl!" Pepper agrees excitedly, "I'm so ready to funk this place out now!" We all continue to take hits off the giant splif and ruminate on how great it is to be here, until Nes starts gathering her things, "Okay you guys, break a fuckin' leg; I'm gonna go find Rico. Maybe we'll hook up later?" We all nod and she gives Mulder and I a small wave, "Nice meeting you two. I'm out." Mulder looks at me, "We should probably go secure a spot out there." I nod in agreement, "Mulder's right. We need to get in the crowd while we can." "Enjoy the show you two." Pepper winks jokingly at us. "I don't think that's going to be a problem." Mulder winks back at her in the same fashion, taking my hand. We leave Pepper and Erica chuckling,(and Mower, Aaron, and Ryan looking confused) as we gather up out blanket and half-gone 12 pack of Triple Black. I give them a wave, "Break a leg, everybody." I say as we walk away. "Hey Scully, I've got a question." Mulder asks coolly as we make our way out of the backstage area and back to the crowd of many lounging on blankets and lawn chairs. "What's up?" "How long have Pepper and Erica known that you wanted to fuck me?" he grins, looking back at me in my usual half-step behind him. I blush and look down slightly, "Well, Erica's been on me about you since I showed her your picture at a family function a few years ago." I start as we finally find a spot in the grass a little more out of the way towards the back and proceed spreading out the blanket, "Pepper was alluded to it after a stoned-and-drunk girl session earlier this week. Does that answer your question?" I ask as I move to lounge on the blanket. He nods as he moves to lounge next to me, passing me another Triple Black and obtaining one for himself. We clink bottles and toss them back quickly as dusk begins its descent into twilight. I feel Mulder's eyes undressing me and glance in his direction. It's ba-ack, saluting me as it strains through jean material. "Can't you keep that thing under control?" I kid him, nudging his shoulder. "Can't you stop looking so fuckable?" Mulder counters, gliding a finger down my side and issuing instant shivers with his words, "I've had the urge to tear that dress off your body the minute I saw you in it. Did you wear that to torture me deliberately?" he continues, leaning over and resting a hand on my hip as he nips at my chin. "No, this dress is a Pepper and Erica concoction. I reluctantly agreed to wear it for 'Atomic Dawg'." I answer truthfully, trailing an index finger down the back of his neck, "But I sure am glad you like it." I sigh into his mouth as he engages me in another kiss, this one as sweet and sensuous as the earlier one during sex. My hands roam the planes of his back as my head rests down on the blanket, his grip intensifying slightly on my hip as his other hand twines in my hair. To think of all the time I wasted not knowing he could kiss this way. It's almost as arousing as the act of sex itself. This turns me to thinking to our act in the backseat, and combined with the current kiss in question, I feel myself getting instantly wet again. "Slow it down, tiger." I purr as I grudgingly break our kiss. "A little hot for you, Scully?" Mulder grins in satisfaction. "We don't want to give everyone a free show, now do we?" I say, moving to sit up. The first few strains of guitar begin echoing from the darkened stage, and the lights slowly go up as the bass and drums kick in. "Show's starting, Scully." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Plasmatic Brain Spasm live was dead on. I have to say it was a very upbeat, well executed show. Erica and Pepper had dueling keyboards that were slightly reminiscent of the Revolution, and the rhythm section and guitar were infectious. Mulder and I finished off the rest of the Triple Black and were drunk enough to throw caution to the wind and dance like village idiots along to the majority of the set, and making out like hormonal teenagers during the slow songs. This is the most fun I've had in ages. Plasmatic Brain Spasm finished their set, and they've made their way back to our blanket with a couple additions, Nes with Rico, a member of P-Funk and also George's grandson (Rico is Nes' P-Funk boyfriend) and Kim Manning, one of the female vocalists. Kim, Pepper, and Erica are singing a wasted rendition of "Mercedes Benz" by Janis Joplin as we all pass a blunt around. I turn to Ryan, Aaron, and the Mower, "You guys did wonderfully up there tonight. We really enjoyed it." "Thanks, I thought it went pretty well, too." Ryan smiles at me. "Pretty well? We kicked ass and took names." Mower counters as Aaron laughs. "I have to admit, it felt awesome up there tonight." Aaron agrees. "Dude, I'm totally jazzed off our performance right now!" Pepper exclaims, breaking out of song, "Now I'm ready for the P-Funk party, for sure." "How long's the set break?" Nes asks Rico as he passes Mulder the blunt. "We got about fifteen minutes or so, right Kim?" Rico confirms. Kim nods, "Just long enough to finish getting high." she smiles goofily. "So the girls tell me you two are Feds that indulge." she addresses Mulder and I, "Kudos to you guys, man. We need more people like you in our government, that's for sure." Erica holds up her beer in a toast, "Here's to wasted Agents!" she laughs, giving us a wink, "Hey Dana, can we borrow you for a sec?" Mulder and I shoot each other glances and I shrug, "Sure." I agree as Pepper, Erica, and Kim drag me off to the side out of everyone's earshot. "So what's the scene with you and Mulder now?" Erica asks impatiently, "We're *dying* dude!" "Was it as awesome as you thought it would be? How'd it happen?" Pepper joins in the line of questioning. I shake my head, "I'll spare you demons the details and just say that it was our time, that's all." "What's going on, now?" Kim questions, interested. "Mulder and Dana have been working together for seven years, and finally broke their abstinence in the parking lot before the show." Erica explains, laughing. "Pepper and I are demanding details." "Seven years? That's so cute!" "I know, huh?" Pepper agrees with Kim, "Indulge us a little, Dana, if you please." "Well, it happened pretty organically. It *was* really good. One minute, we're arguing, and the next..." "He's pushin' up your dress and doin' it to your vag!" Pepper finishes in giddy laughter, "Righteous!" she exclaims when she notices me nodding in admittance. Everyone burst into laughter at Pepper's generalized description of what had transpired. Our laughter subsides a bit and Erica pipes up, "'Kay, Ladies, should we finish getting blazed before Kim and Rico have to split?" "Awesome idea." Kim agrees, "I hope everything works out for you guys, Dana." she says to me as we make our way back to the circle. "Thanks, I hope it does too." I smile. Back at the circle, Mulder is finishing up the 'Penthouse Letters' version of what had went on, "...and I finished it all off with a hard whap to that luscious ass..." he's saying, then trails off when he notices me standing next to where he's sitting; arms crossed and raising the signature brow. "Ooh, trouble in paradise!" Nes teases, "In Mulder's defense, Mower and Ryan were at him pretty heavily for some details, Dana. The rest of us couldn't help but join in." Mulder smiles sheepishly, "Braggers rights?" he offers. "Totally." Mower agrees, slapping Mulder a high-five. I can't help but grin (I mean, what do I have to be pissed for, really?) and heave out a heavy sigh, "What am I gonna do with you?" "I think we all know what you'll *do* with him." Aaron chuffs out along with commentary and catcalls from the peanut gallery. I blush many hues of red as Mulder stands up and puts him arm around my waist, "Alright then, hooligans. I'm taking my woman and we're getting concessions." he proclaims, "Anybody need anything?" "You and your concessions." I cluck at him, shaking my head, then yelling a bit because he startles me by a smack to my right cheek. "We're all good." Ryan states, shaking his head a little, "Go off and do your thang." "We remember the last time y'all went to get 'concessions'." Pepper laughs, reveling in ribbing us. "Don't let us keep you." Erica chimes, "Just make sure you meet me and Pepper on the left side of the stage for 'Atomic Dawg' during the last half of the show. It'll be after the obligatory Funkadelic metal jam that usually clears out everyone but the hardcore funkateers." "Sounds like you already had things set up ahead of time, Erica." I say suspiciously. Erica's eyes fidget around as she tries to hide a smirk, "Well, our band *did* play tonight, Dana. Of course we'd have inside connections." "What did I wear this dress for, again?" I question, now amused at her very obvious ploy. Pepper comes to her defense, swaying a little with a bottle of Malibu rum attached to her hand, "Hey, the overall outcome kicked ass, did it not? I know *Mulder* dug the shit out of it." "We had our reasons, dollface. Now go do your thing. We'll hook back up later." Erica dismisses us with a wave. Mulder and I chuckle as we walk away, "Erica's 'bout it." Mulder comments lightheartedly, leading the way. "I guess it really bothered her that I hadn't had sex in seven years." I laugh, then notice we're going in the opposite direction of the concessions. "I know it bothered *me* not having sex for seven years." Mulder agrees, pulling me toward the woods to the back of the concert area. "Obviously." I snort, "No one should have to put themselves through that." Mulder pushes me abruptly against a tree and presses his body to mine, "We got a lot of lost time to make up for." he groans into my neck, trailing long wet kisses up my chin and finding my mouth. "Mmm-hmm." I agree, nodding as much as I can as he connects a palm to a breast, caressing it firmly before trailing it down to find the hem of my dress. "Concessions, Mulder?" I jibe him into his mouth, breaking our kiss. "Oh, yeah." he says, as if the light dawns. Mulder graces me with a devilish grin, lacing his fingers in mine and holding my hands to my sides in a playfully forceful manner. "Trust me, Scully?" Mulder asks, brushing his nose against mine, up and down, side to side, as his full mast erection teases my belly. "What's not to trust?" I breathe out. It's amazing what he can reduce me to. I mean, he's pressing his body against me and holding my hands, and already I feel like fucking him violently. Oh, now he's began to kiss me again, but he doesn't stay at my mouth for too long before his kisses begin to trail downward... Oh yeah, this is what I've been longing for. All those years of watching that tongue shell sunflower seeds; *this* is the payoff. Mulder's still holding my hands firmly to my sides, warming my pubic mound with his hot breath as he rests his knees on the ground. "Mind if I have a little snack?" he asks as he mouths me through the front of my dress. "Mustn't anger the concession gods." I manage out. Mulder emits a laugh and releases his hands from mine, grabbing my hips and using one hand to push up my skirt. This bares my vagina to the open air, and suddenly I'm feeling very exposed. He rubs a hand over my bald mound appreciatively, "You're a shaver." he smiles, "Perfect." "Just do it, Mulder." Mmm, so good. I was right. Mulder's mouth is the eighth wonder of the world. He's kissing me down there in a frezied passion, drinking me up as he simutaneously turns me into tapioca. I tangle my hands into his hair when his tongue finds my clit, which he enjoys playing with for a little while. Oh, I'm trembling all over. Oh, he's so good at this. Oh, man. His fingers assist him after a few beats, and I'm so close, *so* close. Just...oh, mmm, right there. Mulder sucks my clit into his mouth and I'm gone, my body arches into his face as he brings my orgasm to shattering heights. As I'm coming down from my orgasm high, I hear two things: Mulder undoing his pants and the strains of "Hydraulic Pump" coming from the concert area. Looks like P-Funk started without us. Without any warning, Mulder lifts me up against a tree and pushes his cock inside me in the span of a second. Oh, yeah. "Not much for foreplay, are you?" I groan out as we begin to move. "We'll have time," (thrust) "for that", (thrust) "later." he breathes into my ear, punctuating with a nip to my lobe. 'Pump up and down, Pump up and down' Mulder and I pick up the pace, settling on quick and dirty since we are still sort of out in the open. He feels so amazing, the situation feels dangerous, and I am soon having another orgasm because of it. Mulder's still going though, and... Oh wow, ohfuck. Mulder's cock swells inside me, and I have a *third* orgasm because of it. I am bewildered; this has *never* happened during intercourse before. Normally, I wouldn't consider myself a multi-orgasmic woman, yet again, it has been a while. I'll just chalk it up to Mulder. I *knew* there had to be another reason why I was so attracted to him. Now I am wholly aware of the rough tree bark cutting into my back as I open my eyes and move my face from Mulder's neck to the starry sky. "Ouch." I let out. Mulder slips out of me and produces some tissues out of his back pocket, "You okay?" he asks me, complete with beautiful glow and dufey grin. I can't help but smile back at him, "I think my back got a little scratched by the bark, other than that, I'm great." We proceed to clean ourselves off and straighten up, allowing a kiss or two to slip in here and there as we try to focus getting to the concert at hand. Mulder barks out a laugh, "How appropriate." They've changed into the next song, "Quickie? That's too funny." I laugh. 'Make her happy, make it snappy/All she wanted was a quickie' I wonder if Pepper and Erica had something to do with this, too. Nah, I'll just accept it as a coincidence. I smile rather goofily at him as we make our way back to the show, "That was a landmark event back there, Mulder." I grin, twining my fingers with his. Mulder returns my smile, "How so?" "Before tonight, I'd never experienced multiple orgasms during intercourse." I admonish, "It was also the first time I've ever had sex against a tree." Mulder chuckles, "Me too. The tree thing, that is." He corrects, as we reach the throng which is known as a P-Funk show. Our blanket area is still intact, and we find Erica and Pepper lounging and rolling up a joint upon arrival. "How were the concessions?" Erica shouts over the music at me. I give her a thumbs up and her and Pepper howl in laughter, "All she wanted was a quickie, hey." they sing along, pointing at us. Mulder and I shrug at each other, resigning ourselves to the teasing. I'm definitely not minding after the three orgasms I just experienced. We look to the stage and check out the intergalactic funk party. Garry Shider is still wearing his diaper and tube socks combo, rocking his guitar with about three other guitarist onstage, Kim and Kendra Foster are off to the side doing vocals alongside Belita Woods, Steve Boyd, and Ronkat the funklectic, Rico is sitting in on drums, there are two keyboard players along with Bernie Worrell adding his moog genius to the mix and George Clinton has just arrived onstage to the roar of the crowd, and cuts into the groove with the lyric to "Dope Dawg" and a wave of his hand. "Yes Dude! Spark that shit!" Pepper exclaims. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The rest of the night went pretty quickly. Erica and Pepper were good on their word and got me onstage for "Atomic Dawg", where I was immediately sandwiched between Sir Nose d'Void of Funk and George Clinton himself, getting our grooves on. This has to be the most fun and satisfying night of my life. That honor before went to my first ever P-Funk experience. This night blew that one out of the water. You can't beat resolved sexual tension *and* getting to dance with George Clinton. No contest, really. After the show we helped Plasmatic Brain Spasm with the rest of their gear and got to hang out on the P-Funk tour buses to smoke another mighty joint with Bernie Worrell, Belita Woods, Kim, Rico, Steve Boyd, Ronkat, and a few others. Mulder and I got plenty of oohs and ahhs over the fact we're FBI and we smoke weed. I must say, it does blow some minds; but more than that, it gives people a hope of a turnaround in archaic times. Anyhow, I think Mulder and I are going to spend the night at his hotel room for the night for maximum privacy (he suggested; he says he wants to be able to take it slow without catcalls or teasing. I'm into that), and we'll stay at the Lawnmower and Erica's for the rest of the week upon their insistance. They won't have it any other way. I'm looking forward to the rest of my life now. It's nice to know that I have someone who'll be right there with me. Fin, bitches! End notes: Wow, this got to be quite the epic. I guess, with Mulder and Scully involved with myself, my friends, and the P, it's destined to turn out that way. All characters other than ol' S&M are real, actual people. Plasmatic Brain Spasm is a *real* funk band that I am currently in, Erica is not related to Scully, obviously, but she is the other female vocalist in PBS and for really *is* one of my best friends. I'd like to thank the almighty Parliafunkadelicment thang for being awesome and not sueing me for including them in this story, and for providing me with some awesome background music to this story and life in general. Oh, and the beautiful city of St Paul (real), Capitol View Cafe (also real), and Harmony Park (also also real) for location and setting for this particular M&Scapade. Oh, and if you're ever in the Twin Cities, check for Plasmatic Brain Spasm, we're guaranteed to make you shake your ass. Go wiggle!