Date: 12 Dec 2000 21:20:44 GMT
Subject: New: Urp! by Obfusc8er

Title:  Urp!
Author:  Obfusc8er
E-mail:  Bite me. I'm anti-social.
Classification:  holiday epic (Well, it does have a hero with a definite
character flaw.), Scully POV
Rating: G (Fun for the whole family, especially the ficus in the corner.)
Keywords:  Humor, Clueless!Mulder, ScullyKaboom
Spoilers:  None, really, but "How the Ghosts Stole Christmas" if you're anal
Archive:  Federal Registry of Radioactive Waste Dump Sites and whoever else
wants it
Disclaimer:  They can keep Scully, but Mulder is mine! mine! mine!

It is advised that you don't read this summary and skip straight to the story,
as neither is very entertaining, but the summary is worse. :-D

Summary:  Mulder and Scully buy Christmas presents for each other.  This is in
spite of Mulder's apparent standing as an agnostic or non-practicing Jew
(depending on how close he is standing to a neoNazi).  Scully's gift to Mulder
has already been given, and as it was probably something practical and boring,
I do not care about it, and it shall not be covered here.  For more on that
occurrence, consult the Gray's Anatomy textbook.  Now, Mulder had been given
"hints" about what Scully wanted for Christmas, but, being entirely dependent
on his Y chromosome for conversations and gift purchases, he dismissed her
"hints" as unfortunate mental lapses resulting from wearing tight pantyhose. 
Scully did not pick up on his cluelessness, as she succumbs to an urge to stare
up at his nose whenever he is in the same room.  I do not recommend this.  For
more on what I do recommend if you are in the same room as Mulder, consult the
Gray's Anatomy textbook.  As I was saying, Mulder picked Scully's gift on his
own.  Since she is a very practical person, he got her a very practical gift. 
(This holiday epic occurs sometime during Season 7, probably, since Mulder does
not have a metal prong sticking into each orifice, as he would in Season 8. 
Besides, the Shovelhead Express gift store only carries Martha Stewart action
figures.)

Here we go^

"No Mulder. I said I wanted a Clapper!"

Finis

If you feel you may be struck by a horrible case of male pattern baldness if
you don't send any feedback, send it to aobfuscata@hotmail.com