From: roxygirl10@juno.com
Date: Thu, 25 Jun 1998 15:59:49 -0500
Subject: movie fanfic-"Venturing Into the Unknown"

Author- roxygirl10@juno.com
Title-Venturing Into the Unknown (1/1)
Rating- R
Category- Story, Romance
Classification- Mulder/Scully Romance
Spoilers- X-Files the movie: Fight The Future
Summary-  After Mulder and Scully have another brush with the truth, and
a brush of romance, they gather to talk about the re-opening of the
X-Files, but when Mulder shows up with bouquets of flowers, she knows
they will be talking about more than that.
Disclaimer-  Fox owns all the character, not me...um....I am not making
any money off their characters........ yada yada yada.



I had loved Mulder for more than 5 years, but I never really let myself
fully realize it, because if I wasn't able to keep it in the back of my
head, I think I would have gone mentally insane.  He does drive me crazy
in more ways than one.  It has been hard to maintain my sanity working
with him.  He's beautiful, he is everything I am not, and the few things
he lacks, I possess.  I knew how he felt when he told me I make him a
whole person, because he is the one who completes me also.  We learned
this on our latest brush with the truth.  Once again however, we are at
square one, but we still have each other.  For that, we are lucky.  I
am alive because of Mulder.  If not for him I would just be a host
for a new species of alien.  I do love him so much. We can't deny that
any longer.  We  were so close!  A moment five years in the making.

I don't know what came over me.  Mulder is usually the bold one.
However, this time, I was the one who pulled his head to me, and I
planted a kiss on his head, and let all the emotion and love flow from
me to him.
 
He must have felt it.  I had never seen his eyes so intense.  His usual
poker face was now deep wish passion and needing.  Then he pulled my
head to his.  My eyes tried to dart away, but I couldn't look from his
eyes.  I moved my lips, but my heart wouldn't allow protest.  So we
inched closer....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Damn bee!!!!!!!!!!!!  My first thoughts were the profane cussing of an
insect.  Scully and I were finally where we wanted to be for five years!

My breath caught in my throat when she kissed my head. My blood raced
through my entire body.  I knew now was the time to find one of the
truths I was searching for.  Could Scully love me?  So close to every
fantasy I have had, and then that bee stings!

My anger at the bug was quickly over taken by a panicky concern for her
as she collapsed.  I wanted to just hold her, but they took her away
from me.  Then I suppose they thought that taking her, and trying to
kill my heart and my Scully-fueled motivation wasn't enough, they shot
me.

The rest I would rather not recall.  I was as close to losing Scully
forever as I was to getting her love.  All I could do was breathe my
life into her and use all had to save her.

When I was climbing that wall, I felt nothing. The cliche is true;
love does conquer all.  Oh, I was so blindly concerned for her, even
I, yes porno loving Mulder, did not look at her naked body when I
clothed her. 

I would not let myself know that the woman I love so madly was naked
in front of me. I can't think about that now, because I have to go
meet Scully at her place, to discuss the reopening of the x-files.
At least I think that was the excuse I used to get to see her.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mulder will be here soon, but I know it isn't to talk about the X-Files
as he said.  I hope not.  I just can't shake the memory of our near
kiss.  I was afraid.  I do not know why.  Perhaps fear of not being good enough.  Or of the two of us losing our strong relationship.

Love this deep is scary.  Nothing is eternal and losing him would kill
me.  I thought I had loved before, but my love for Mulder makes every
other relationship seem like mere crushes...  When I was younger, I
never would have dreamed that love could be so sweetly complicated or
intense.

My deep thought was interrupted by a knock.  I rose and took a
nervous deep breath.

"Guess who" he called playfully.  I smiled and strode to the
door.  Ther Mulder stood with his handsome boyish smile and glowing
eyes.  From behind his back he pulled out a small bouquet of daisies,
and handed them to me.

"I was chased by an attack dog and an old lady with a cane to
pick those flowers for you!"  I smiled a big smile, but then he looked
serious.

"Scully, I have never really actually thanked you for being my
best friend all these years, and for being behind me the whole way.
I know it is not easy and well, I, just, thank you. For all of it."

I was a little stunned.  This must be hard for Mulder, he usually
don't let his emotions go like this. This is the first time I have
gotten flowers from him when I wasn't sick.  I signaled him to come
inside so we could talk.

Then something in his eyes changed, and he pulled another bouquet out.
They were a dozen deep red long stem roses.  I must have looked
confused, because he looked hurt.

"Scul- Dana, let me explain.  These are for though of what could
be with us.  It could be a sort of early thank you for being there
for me as more than a friend....."

"Um, well, I -HUH?I sputtered out.

"Scully,  you know exactly what it is that I am saying.  I know you
know.  Why do you look scared Scully?  Please take the flowers; lets
talk.

My mind raced.  This is what I have been waiting for.  Why was I
acting so frightened?  I totally trust Mulder, probably more than I
trust myself.

His closeness scares me.  I try not to let people get close to me,
but Mulder, with his persistence and loyalty, broke through my wall.
So many thoughts were swirling around me as I mechanically put the
roses in a vase.  No thorns on these flowers.  I don't need to be
scared of loving him. I turned back to him and sat on the couch.

"Mulder, I --"

"No Dana, listen to me please." he interrupted. "I want to say
this now.  I love you, more than any person has loved before.  I
am confident of that, because the feeling I feel right now is more
powerful than anything I have ever felt.  It controls my mind every
second and I influences every action of mine. Hearing your name makes
me happy.  Knowing I have you as a close friend makes my head spin.
I love your hair, the way you brush it away from your deeply
mysterious eyes.  I love the expressions you make, even the one you
make when you are annoyed and angry at me.  All of your expressions
are permanently branded in my mind.    Just those visions are probably
more than I deserve after dragging you on my quest and dangling you
over death's hand many times.  Dana, when I saw you half frozen in
that cavity, I thought that I would kill myself if I couldn't save
you.  You are my motivation and my driving force.   I feel so
helpless because I can't explain to you how I feel;  I just don't
know how to make you understand, and it is tearing me up!"

He paused and was trying to read my face.  Tears began rolling
down my face, clouding up my vision of his beautiful self.  What he
had said was more than I had ever dreamed of.  I wish I had a tape
recorder to hear what he had said every night... What am I thinking,
he could be with me every night instead of the damn tape.  I have to
tell him I feel like he feels.

He knelt in front of me and took my hands.  "Please understand Dana,
I can only hope you trust my love is genuine."

"You know are the only on I trust" I whispered back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She was crying.  Why was she crying? Please Dana, please say something. 
Say you love me, tell me to go to hell, because I'd go for you. Say
something.  Oh, maybe I am rushing her.

"Please think about it.  I don't want to rush you.  I want perfection.
I want to be with you.  I have waited for five years and as hard as it
is, I can wait as long as it takes.  Please tell me what you are
thinking Dana."

I reached up and brushed her tears gently off her beautifully smooth
face, and looked her in the eye.

"Now. I want to be with you now."  She said steadily.

"W-What?" I was suddenly at a loss for words. I smiled in disbelief.
Scully is the only person I can comfortably smile at.  I sat for several seconds, thinking about what she said.  Damn it Mulder, wake up, DO
SOMETHING!

She started to speak again.  "I know how much you love me, because I
feel the same love for you."  She pulled me up, level with her face.
We stared into each others eyes, and the distance between our lips
lessened.  Deja Vu!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deja Vu, except no bee this time, just me and him, like it should be. 
When our lips finally met, there was an explosion of undescribable
emotion inside me, surging through my entire body.  The kiss started
out carefully, our lip cautiously moving together, but soon tongue
were twirling together and I was pulling him to me.  When we were
out of breath he pulled away.  I ran my nails up his back.  He looked
at me like a 12 year old venturing into the unknown.  I started to
unbutton my blouse.

"Dana..." Unable to take his eyes off me, "I don't think....We
shouldn't...Let not rush this."

I could tell he was struggling to maintain his self.  "Fox, please....
I need you"

He pulled me in for another long deep kiss.  He brushed his hand over
the skin below my collarbone, and fingered my gold cross.  He then
carefully reached down to the button of my blouse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 I just can't do this now.  I want her to make sure this is what she
wants.  If we make a mistake now, who knows what will happen.  I can't
let my lust overtake my love for her....It's hard.

I buttoned her blouse back up and gave her a soft kiss on her lips. She
looked confused 

"Dana, I want to make sure that this is what you want"

"I do want this! Please!" she begged.

I looked at her with pleading eyes, trying to appear stronger than I
felt.  She understood.
 
We lay down on the couch, her legs intertwined with mine, and her
delicate head rested on my chest.  She looked deep into my eyes.
So deep, if it had been someone else, I would feel violated.  But
Dana can violate me as much as she wishes.

"I love you" And with that she closed her eyes.  I snuggled close
to her.  We fell asleep in minutes.  I had never in my life felt more
peaceful than with her right then.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't know when I fell asleep, but when I woke up in the night and
felt his body against mine, I feared nothing.  His knees were against
the backs of mine, and his hand was rested on my rib cage, just under
my breast.  It was the greatest, most comfortable feeling I've ever experienced. I had never slept better than I did that night, and
knowing how Mulder sleeps, he hadn't either.  I kissed his hand and
allowed my self to drift back into sleep.

My dreams were colorfully filled with what had been, and mysteriously
filled with what was to be for us.

______________________________The End_____________________________