Date: 26 Aug 1998 06:40:05 GMT From: Jay1029 Subject: NEW: "Veritas Nullus" (07/12) XRA Part (07/12) February 24, 1999 2630 Hegal Place - Apt. # 42 Alexandria, Virginia 5:15 AM Mulder was sober. Or he was damn near close enough. He walked down the hallway to his apartment, knowing he'd have to be at work in less than two hours.He felt like shit and looked even more so. He had time to shower, get out of yesterday's suit and try to sober up some more before he faced Scully. It wasn't something he was looking forward to. Mulder decided he wouldn't bring up the night before unless she did; there was no sense in discussing something they both were trying to figure out on their own. He leaned against his door, trying to find the right key, and collapsed into his apartment as the open door gave way under his weight. He stood slowly, hand on his nine millimeter, and surveyed the place, knowing full well he locked the door before going to Scully's. Mulder heard no movements and carefully entered his living room. "He's here he's here he's here he's here he's here he's here . . ." He was puzzled by the mumbling he heard, but could not find the source. The television? He checked and saw it was off. The sound came from. . .Scully, who sat, balled, in the corner of the room. "Scully?" She was clothed only in a jersey, her white limbs showing. Mulder recalled from the charts of the victims of the Maryland rapist. A chart that would soon, too, have Dana Scully's name. "No. . ." He cautiously went over to the trembling form. "No, Scully, not you. No." Mulder didn't know what to do. If he touched her, it could possibly frighten her off more and make her sink deeper into her trancelike state. But if he leaves her to her own devices, there's no telling how long the state could last. What to do, what to do. He was torn, needing to touch her to reassure her of him and that she was safe, but he restrained himself from doing so. His brows pulled together in concern, he tentatively put a hand on her cheek. She flinched and looked into his eyes. That scared him; there was nothing in those blue eyes. No emotion, no feeling, as there always was. Mulder wondered. Her arms moved and his face was met with her Sig Sauer. "Scully, no. Scully, it's me, Mulder. Mulder." A look of determination crossed her otherwise stonelike face. Scully's index finger shook around the trigger. She was going to shoot him, going to kill him. He had to do something quickly. Scooting away, his head screamed in protest, reminders of his alcoholic haze coming back, bringing the pounding headache and lightheaded feeling with it. "Scully. Scully, it's Mulder. I'm not going to hurt you, you know that. I would never do anything to hurt you. Scully, put down the gun. Scully?" His words rolled right off her. She showed no sign of recognizing him at all and he wondered how far gone she really was. Scully brought her left hand to steady her right. "Scully? Scully, please listen to me. It's Mulder. You know me, Scully. Dammit, give me the gun!" She closed her eyes, her gun still aimed steadily at his head. Was it working? Was he getting through to her? "Scully? Scully, say something to me. C'mon, Scully, you've got to help me out here. I can't come get you out of that place you're in right now, even though I want to. You know, if I could, I would, Scully. But I can't. You've got to do that for me. You have to come out of it yourself, Scully. Leave that bad place and come back to me. I'll protect you from him. I'm here, like always. He'll never hurt you again. Scully? Scully, open your eyes and look at me. Help me, Scully." She didn't do as he asked. Instead, she pulled the trigger, hitting his temple. Everything went black before him as he fell onto the hardwood floor, unconscious. *~*~* And, now I sit here, I'm all alone So here sits a bloody mess, tears fly home A circle of angels, deep in mourn 'Cause I wanted you Weak as I am, no tears for you Deep as I am, I'm no one's fool Weak as I am . . . -Skunk Anansie- *~*~* Scully looked in the mirror, tracing her fingers over the bruises on her face. Broken glass covered the floor around thrown books. Lamps knocked over, the table split in half. It looked like a tornado ripped through the apartment, turning everything over in its path. She felt like she was in a daze, that she wasn't entirely herself. She entered Mulder's bathroom and turned on the water for a shower, making it hotter than she usually liked it. A wave of nausea hit her then, hard, and she felt weak, so weak. Scully leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, praying the nausea would subside. She felt so dirty, this overwhelming need to clean herself and do it quickly. Carefully, she peeled the bloodstained jersey off herself, wincing as the pain returned. Bruises covered her wrists, spotting her torso, her face. She got into the shower, vigorously scrubbing every inch of her body. She had to get the feel of him off her, the smell of him, the taste of him. But no matter how much of Mulder's soap she used or how hard she washed, it still remained, taunting her, making her sick. She couldn't control the retching and, soon enough, she vomited. Scully slid down the wall of the shower and sobbed loudly. ______________________________________________________________ February 24, 1999 2630 Hegal Place -- Apt. # 42 Alexandria, Virginia 6:28 AM *~*~* Talk to me softly, there's something in your eyes. Don't hang your head in sorrow, and please don't cry. I know how you feel inside - I've been there before. Something's changing inside you, and don't you know? Give me a whisper, and give me a sign, give me a kiss before you tell me good-bye. You gotta make it your own way, but you'll be all right, sugar. You'll feel better tomorrow, come the morning light now, baby. -Guns 'N' Roses - *~*~* Nikolas took out his badge, showing it to the SAC and entered Mulder's apartment. It was small in size and the number of agents there only made it seem smaller. A semicircle of men were gathered in a corner amongst the others wandering around. Nikolas could make out Scully's fiery hair peeking out over their black coats. Nikolas tapped on the shoulder of one of the men. Special Agent Greg Baruffi of the VCS stood, now giving him a full view of Scully. Her bottom lip was caked in blood; a line of crimson ran from her nose steadily. Her eyes were blank, her expression the same, the right eye beginning to bruise. Her hair was tousled, making her overall appearance look as though she'd been in a fight, and she was the loser. Wearing only a New York Knicks jersey, she continued to rock back and forth, back and forth oblivious to the agents that called her name. "Special Agent Nikolas Cavanaugh," he introduced himself. "What the hell happened here?" "He's here he's here he's here he's here he's here he's here . . ." muttered Scully. "Agent Scully was raped and shot Agent Mulder." Agent Baruffi gestured to Mulder's unmoving body that paramedics were trying to work on. "He's here he's here he's here he's here he's here he's here . . ." "Mulder raped her?" "I can't say right now, but it appears that way. Agent Scully won't talk to us." "He's here he's here he's here he's here he's here he's here . . ." Nikolas' gaze went back to her, as she kept mumbling something that sounded like "He's here" over and over again. "Let me try talking to her. We know each other." "Good luck," Baruffi said, motioning for his agents to move. "She hasn't said anything except 'He's here' for the past half hour." Nikolas sat close to her; she continued to rock. "Dana?" "He's here he's here he's here he's here he's here he's here . . ." "Dana, it's me, Nikolas." "He's here he's here he's here he's here he's here he's here . . ." Nikolas put his hand on her shoulders. Her eyes focused on him; he swore he saw something change behind them. And then, she screamed. She screamed so loud, she caused every person in that room to turn and look her way. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" "Agent Scully?" Skinner lifted the yellow police tape and cut through the swarm of agents and medical personnel with a look of sadness and disgust on his face. Knowing there was a rape victim and recognizing Mulder's apartment number didn't prepare him for the sight he saw. Scully hysterical, still holding the gun in her hand, and Mulder lying on the floor in a growing pool of blood. She looked up at him, wordlessly, swiping at her already-disheveled hair. Carefully approaching her, he sat on the floor, taking the gun out of her hand. "I need a paramedic over here." Her azure eyes watered. "No hospital," she said, her voice unsteady and cracking. "But, Scully, you need to be --" He stopped himself as a gust of soap-smelling wind hit his nose. A tear escaped her eye. "Agent Scully, did you take a shower?" "Yes, sir," she whispered hoarsely, hanging her head. He sighed sadly. "As a doctor --" "As a doctor, sir, I know what I did was wrong." Scully looked him in the eyes again, bottom lip trembling. "But, sir, it couldn't be helped. I had to." She began to cry softly and the AD paused, removing his glasses as he did. "You know you have erased evidence that could link your partner to this crime." "I also have erased evidence absolving him for it as well, sir, I am fully aware of that. But it had to be done." "To protect Agent Mulder from facing criminal charges?" Scully thought about Skinner's reasoning for a moment. "No, sir," she replied, licking her lip. "I did it to protect myself. I have no recollection of the events that transpired here, only that I was. . .I was r-raped and shot my partner. . . Oh, God." Her focus turned to Mulder, who hadn't moved. Crawling slowly, she maneuvered herself to where he was. Just as Scully extended her hand to him, Nikolas' voice behind her made her retrieve it. "Dana, don't you remember? It was him who raped you last night, who beat the shit out of you. It was Mulder, Dana," he spat. "Mulder." Scully simply shook her head from side to side and cried. she told herself. She looked to Skinner for some reassurance that he wasn't a suspect. He couldn't give her any. End of (07/12) Author's Note: "Weak As I Am" by Skunk Anansie "Don't Cry" by Guns 'N' Roses were used without permission. No infringement intended. Part (08/12) February 24, 1999 Northeastern Georgetown Medical Center Washington, D.C. Room 0129 1:05 PM *~*~* Memories back when she was bold and strong And waiting for the world to come along... Swears she knew it, now she swears he's gone She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man... She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man... -Pearl Jam- *~*~* A soft knock shook a frightened Scully. Nikolas came into the hospital room, placing a glass vase filled with red roses beside her bed. She pulled the blanket apprehensively to her chin. "Hi, Dana." He sat in the chair next to her bed. "Why are you here, Nikolas?" she asked. "I came to see how you were." He frowned. "Dana, I'm so sorry. I mean, I've known Mulder for years now and I never thought he could --" Painfully, Scully turned her head to the side. "I don't want to talk about it." The pain medication she was put on was wearing off. She made a mental note to add to it when she got her prescription. Scully was also thankful for the sedatives. They helped her sleep without making her think of. . .it. She hated the pity she saw in everyone's eyes and knew if she could just get home and into a nice, long bath, she'd be okay. If everyone would just leave her alone and quit asking her to think about things she couldn't even remember, she'd be okay. Scully knew, though, deep down, she wouldn't be okay, not with her best friend - the very man she loved - accused to the same crime that landed her here. She shivered. "Are you cold?" Nikolas was instantly at her side. "I'm fine," she lied, hoping he, unlike Mulder, would believe her and leave it at that. But, like Mulder, he wouldn't. He sat on her bed, and enveloped her into his strong arms. She froze automatically. "No. . .Nikolas, get off me." He held her tighter to his chest. "Dana, I should've been there to protect you. I'm so sorry." "Nikolas. . .Nikolas, leave me alone. Get off me!" She pushed on his chest. "Scully? Can I come in?" Skinner stuck his head in, clearly debating whether his presence was allowed. "Sir. Yeah, come in." Scully tried to compose herself after finally pulling out of Nikolas' grasp. "Nikolas. . ." "I'll go, but I'll stop by later." He bent to kiss her forehead. "Later, Red." She stiffened instantly, holding her breath. Her eyes closed to hold back tears. He called her 'Red,' she remembered. That bastard who. . ."Scully? You okay? I can leave. . ." "No, sir, stay." "Alright then." Skinned took the chair Nikolas had used. Removing his glasses, he studied the face of this woman before him, Dana Scully. Her red hair regained some of its luster; her eyes weren't as plagued with their lines of fatigue. But her forehead was bandaged and her eye was still discolored. There were still cuts marring her beauty. He sighed, before asking the inevitable, "How are you feeling, Scully?" She answered with the "I'm fine, sir" he'd come to expect from her, but then added, "I'll be okay, honest." "Your doctors have been updating my office hourly since you were admitted." "Then why did you ask how I was if you already knew?" "Because I knew you could tell me what they can't. The truth." "I'm feeling better. . .considering. But I still can recall very little." Her gaze remained on the hands she twisted nervously in her lap. "I haven't said it before, sir, but I thank you for what you done for me." "I'm just doing my job." He cleared his throat, wondering how to proceed. "I came here for other reasons than to check up on you, Scully. I came to talk about Mulder." Mulder. That one word had forced her gaze to return to Skinner. Had she killed him? Whenever she tried to sleep without the sedatives, the memory of her shooting him, and him lying, motionless, in a growing pool of his own blood, surfaced. Had she spared him death, turning her once-brillant partner into a nonresponsive vegetable for the duration of his life? "What about Mulder?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant about it. "I admit, when I received the call this morning, to possibly identify a body, you and Mulder were the furthest things on my mind. Even when I arrived and entered the building, my mind hadn't made the connection." "But?" she urged. "But. . .Agent Mulder had just been admitted into the psych ward at Washington General, where he will recuperate from the gunshot wound he sustained to his left temple. After which, he will be arrested in connection with your. . .attack, pending sentencing at a later date." She sighed, relieved. He was alive. He would make it. "The X-Files," he continued, "have been shut down permanently this time and Agent Mulder has been suspended from the Bureau, with no chance of reinstatement." Scully sat silently contemplating what was just said to her. The X-Files were closed and Mulder was out of the FBI, just like that. Those things made possible by the smoking man and his cohorts, that she knew. But why keep Mulder in a psychiatric ward? He wasn't crazy. Albeit sometimes his ways were unorthodox to those that came in contact with him, but they proved effective more times than once in the past, not psychotic as suggested. "Sir, is this necessary? Agent Mulder has shown no signs as of late to be mentally unstable. Why is he in a psych ward?" "Because, Agent Scully. . .just as you can't, Agent Mulder has no memory of your rape, his involvement or otherwise." *~*~* Blue eyes, holding back the tears, holding back the pain. Baby's got blue eyes, and she's alone again. -Elton John- *~*~* _________________________________________________________ February 25, 1999 3170 West 53 Road - Apt. # 35 Annapolis, Maryland 10:15 AM *~*~* Take me away, I know I could use the rest I want to clear up this mess I need a few days with my good sense. I need a few good days. . . -Veruca Salt- *~*~* Scully walked into her apartment for the first time since her birthday. Everything was how she'd left it - a half-empty bowl of popcorn and two glasses formerly filled with chocolate milk littering the coffee table, the wrapping paper, card and box from Mulder's present on the counter, a blanket draped on the couch. Behind her, Skinner carried flowers that she received and her suitcase from the hallway. Her eyes remained focused on the slipshod state of her couch. There, she recovered the feelings for Mulder she thought she'd buried and she was about to act on those same feelings until. . .he stopped them. Funny, now that she pondered it, how out of character Mulder putting an end to their kissing before it had lead to something more was, rather than her. Certainly, she was no virgin, but she liked to keep her professional life as Agent Scully, M.D. separate from the personal life of just Dana. That was, of course, until she met Fox Mulder. The same Fox Mulder now accused of raping her. *~*~* By the shadows of the night I go I move away from the crowded room, that sea of shallow faces, masked in warm regret. They don't know how to feel, they don't know what is lost. I want it all to go away, I want to be alone. Sympathies wasted on my hollow shell I feel there's nothing left to fight for, no reason for a cause. And I can't heard your voice, and I can't feel you near. . . -Sarah McLachlan- *~*~* Scully didn't know how to adjust to the situation she was currently finding herself in. After all the horrors she'd experienced in the five years of their partnership - her father's death, followed by her sister's, the countless times she thought Mulder had died, the discovery of her cancer, the knowledge that she had a daughter, only for her daughter to die - Mulder had always been behind her, not pushing her, but offering his support and himself, if need be. Occasionally, she accepted that offer and reciprocated it when he needed her. She had come, through the years, to know of this unspoken agreement they had and to rely on it being there in case she needed it. And, now, when she needed it, it wasn't available. She was stunned to find herself lost without it. Scully usually didn't invest so much emotionally in a person. She considered it an act of sacrilege to the independence that she strived so hard to achieve. But, with Mulder, as with everything else, it was different. Sure, she tried her damnedest to dispute his wacky theories, but she secretly admired his passion and his ability to find things even the trained eyes couldn't. She also enjoyed the intellectual stimulation debating with him gave her. That was all gone now. Mulder would go to jail for a crime neither of them knew if he committed. Scully kept telling herself it couldn't be Mulder. It couldn't be the same man who put her needs before his own. It couldn't be the same man who would rather put himself through hell than to see her in any pain. It couldn't be the same man who would sacrifice his own life for the truth he so deeply believed in, but would not let her follow him to do the same. Such a violation of her by him was simply unheard of. her rational voice reminded. She tried to look at everything with the clinical detachment she used day in and day out. Why would someone attack her in Mulder's apartment? And if it was Mulder, why would he leave his own apartment after raping her, only to return later? It didn't make sense; nothing lately seemed to. She sat, wincing at the sudden rush of pain that quickly went away, and covered her face with her suddenly shaking hands. "Scully? Can I get you something? Anything you need?" She jumped at the sound of his voice, forgetting Skinner was still there momentarily. she thought to herself. *~*~* When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone, when you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on. Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes. Sometimes everything is wrong. Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends. Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone. And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on. -REM- *~*~* "No, I'm fine, thanks." She leaned back on the couch and pulled the blanket over her. She wasn't cold; she needed the remains of Mulder's scent that lingered on the blanket to offer her the comfort he couldn't. She could've laughed at the irony of seeking comfort from a man who could have raped her, but she didn't. Because, in her mind, without a doubt, Mulder was innocent. Now, she just had to find out who was behind this, who tried to deceive her into thinking that it was him to tear them apart. she told herself. "Sir, as much as I appreciate you taking me home and staying with me, it isn't necessary. I can take care of myself." "Do you want me to leave?" She shook her head. "No." Scully stood, thumbing through the mail and assorted newspapers on her table. "I'm returning to work, sir, without the leave I originally wanted to take." "Scully." The concern in his voice made her think of Ahab and just how much Skinner reminded her of him. He used that tone when she defied him and told him he couldn't stop her from becoming a Federal Agent, instead of the medical examiner her parents wanted her to be. "I don't agree with what you're doing. You need time to yourself, time to sort through everything that's been happening. You need to get your life back together before rushing into work and trying to save the lives of others. You're jeopardizing yourself, Scully, and the agents that will be around you. Name me a reason why you should come back so soon." She pointed to the day's edition of the Washington Post. In bold lettering, the headline read: FEDERAL AGENT ATTACKED, PARTNER SHOT; CRIME REFLECTING MARYLAND RAPIST "Because of that, sir. I have to prove them wrong." *~*~* Today she dresses for the change she's facing now And the storm that's raging, a safe haven she has found The love she had, she has no more She gathers rain, yes, she gathers rain, To rinse away all her guilt and pain So, she gathers rain, yes, she gathers rain, to wash and cleanse and make her whole again. -Collective Soul- *~*~* End of (08/12) Author's Note: "Better Man" by Pearl Jam "Blue Eyes" by Elton John "Benjamin" by Veruca Salt "Lost" by Sarah McLachlan "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M. "She Gathers Rain" by Collective Soul were used without permission. No infringement intended. Part (09/12) February 26, 1999 West Forty-Sixth Street New York City, New York 3:18 PM *~*~* you can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings you can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything -Nine Inch Nails- *~*~* The first elder stood when the smoking man, cigarette in mouth, arrived. "We've been waiting," he spoke. A cloud of smoke soon surrounded the old man. He sat, removing the cigarette from his mouth. Exhaled. "I had other matters to attend to." Inhaled. "Such as?" the young British man interjected. "I've waited for your report on the situation at hand and have received nothing. I need to know how to proceed." The smoking man turned to his younger colleague. Exhaled. "I suggest we move to phase two immediately." "Success must be great," the second elder said. "Yes," the smoking man lifted his cigarette to his lips again, "it is far better than we have hoped. Everything is going as it should." "It's too soon to move ahead," the first elder argued. "The Bureau is getting involved. That is a move we haven't anticipated. Skinner is getting suspicious." "Walter Skinner will be dealt with soon enough, this you should know. He won't present a problem." "He'd better not," the Britishman said. "Or I'll be forced to take care of him as I should before." *~*~* Where do I take this pain of mine I run, but it stays right by my side Just like the curse, just like the stray You feed it once, and now it stays So tear me open, but beware There's things inside without a care And the dirt still stains me So wash me, until I'm clean -Metallica- *~*~* "The X-Files have been closed." Another young man entered the room. "Agent Mulder and Agent Scully have been effectively separated. . .permanently, as we wanted. Why is there continuous discussion about Skinner? We should move ahead now, while we still have the upperhand to do so." "I still disagree," the third elder spoke up. "We could easily lose the advantage we have as quickly as we gained it." "There's only one way to deal with this." The smoking man fixed a cold stare on those who were going against him. "All in favor?" Hands, reluctant or no, rose, the majority winning. "It's settled then. We move ahead." "Next thing. The lists --" "--have been well hidden," the British man declared. "Hidden?" the other young man asked. "That's the only precaution you've taken?" "There's nothing legible on those lists that can incriminate us or explain what it means. It was encrypted, of course," the first elder said. "Good." The young man seemed pleased. "What is the status on the other project?" "Tests prove conclusive," the second elder answered. "Everything seems to be working," the third elder added. "Everything seemed to be working last time, too," the fourth elder challenged. The smoking man inhaled. Exhaled. Inhaled again. Visibly shaken to those around him as he recalled what they were referring to. Such a tragedy, it was. A mistake that would never happen again. That hasn't happened since. This would not turn out the same. No one will die this time; he would see to that. "How is she?" he inquired. Exhaled. "Recovering," the British man in the corner frowned. Inhaled. "Elaborate on that," the young man urged. Exhaled. "The problems. . .seem to be decreasing." Inhaled. "Does the vaccine work?" Exhaled. "Not anymore." Inhaled. The smoking man smashed his Morley into a nearby ashtray. "You'd better find a way to make it work! I won't have a repeat of before." He exhaled and, angrily, left the room of men looking at one another. *~*~* So tell me why you've chosen me Don't want you grip, don't want your greed I'll tear me open, make you gone No more can you hurt anyone And the fear still shakes me So hold me, until it sleeps -Metallica- *~*~* _______________________________________________________________ March 1, 1999 3170 West 53 Road - Apt. # 35 Annapolis, Maryland 6:28 PM Dana Scully opened her eyes. She was no longer in her living room; she was in an all white room, laying on her back on some sort of. . .table, instead of her soft couch. Where was she? She tried to sit up, noticing she was restrained. "Hello?" she called out to no one in particular. Around her there was mumbling, like distorted sound from a television who's reception wasn't coming in. She looked around - nothing but four walls and a rectangle of glass. Three men with medical masks watched her intently, speaking amongst themselves. she thought, recognizing the room. A man - Mulder? - came in with her. "Mulder," she smiled, happy to see him. Scully felt safe, knowing he was there. "Mulder, help untie me." She struggled to get her wrists unbound. He didn't move, didn't even acknowledge her. "Mulder?" Ignoring her, he read over her chart, nodding to himself. "Mulder?" What was he doing? The men with the medical masks vanished, leaving her alone with him. Mulder unstrapped the restraints, freeing her. "Mulder, what's going on? Where are we?" He stared at her with his emotionless hazel eyes, still saying nothing. she told herself. Scully began sitting up when Mulder joined her on the table. "Mul. . ." He brought her mouth up to his, silencing her. Mulder tasted just as she remembered; Scully opened her mouth to allow his probing tongue the entrance it wanted. He laid her back down, mouth still dueling. She wanted this for so long, but something wasn't right. she laughed at herself. Scully moaned as his mouth descended around her nipple. Involuntarily, she pressed herself against him hard, longing for more contact than he allowed her. Mulder nuzzled her earlobe with his tongue, whispering so she had to strain to hear him. "You're so. . .you're so damn beautiful. Where's Mulder now, huh, Red?" Scully froze and opened her eyes, amazed to find Mulder's apartment around her. "No! Mulder!" She sat up with a start, sweating, feeling her heart beating wildly. It was so real. It was. . .Mulder. Scully sobbed against the cushion of her couch. Dreams like this - fragments of her attack incorporating themselves with thoughts of Mulder - had caused her to awaken, alone and afraid, at all hours of the night. Now, it seemed, they had crossed over into day. She just wanted her life back to the way it was before everything. Before she was raped. She wanted to get yelled at by Skinner because of the latest case they had been on. She wanted to get disgusted at the way Mulder annoyingly left the shells of his damn sunflower seeds in a growing pile by his desk after she told him to clean it up. She wanted to laugh again, to smile again. To be able to spend a night in her own bed, rid of the dreams that haunt her. To be herself, not this new, frightened at everything version of Dana Scully she had become. She began to wonder if things could ever go back to that. Someone poked her shoulder, startling her. She shot up again, hand over chest, and met Nikolas' eyes. "Dana, you're bleeding." He offered her his handkerchief. She accepted it, dabbing at her nose. Another nose bleed. She was getting them more frequently now than when she had her cancer. "What are you doing here?" "I stopped by to see how you were. Are you okay?" Finishing with the handkerchief, a faint smell hit her nose. Oh, God. She dropped the cloth into her lap. "I probably just hit myself or something. I'm fine." He smiled. "Good." He stood, straightening his navy blue tie. "I have a meeting to attend to, but I can stop by later." "It's not necessary. I'm okay now. Nothing major. Just a bad dream." "You screamed Mulder's name. Was he in your dream? Were you remembering?" Scully walked in the kitchen, turning on the water. "I'd just as soon like to forget about it, if you don't mind." "Sure. I'll see you in a couple of hours." She sighed against her counter. she thought. Scully ran a hand over her red hair and looked out her window. She saw Nikolas standing in front of her building, talking into his cell phone. She was grateful that he came over periodically to check on her, but she didn't like the way he pushed her to remember Mulder raped her. She would recover the memory soon enough, but it would be on her terms, not his. A black car pulled up. Scully wondered who it could be. The whistle of her tea pot sounded. And she didn't think anything of it when she saw a cloud of smoke exit from the inside of the car. End of (09/12) Author's Note: "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails "Until It Sleeps" by Metallica were used without permission. No infringement intended. Part (10/12) March 1, 1999 Washington General, psychiatric ward Room 0115 Washington, D.C. 8:05 PM *~*~* I don't have love to share, and I don't have one who cares, I don't have anything, since I don't have you -Guns 'N' Roses- *~*~* Scully walked down the corridor, standing in front of room 0115. She contemplated walking in; would he want to see her? Could they find the truth through each other? And, most importantly, could they handle the truth? She sighed, knocking twice before entering. Mulder was on the bed in restraints, his attention to the corner. He didn't look up at her as the door closed behind her; she didn't leave, despite the voices that told her to do otherwise. Stubble grew on his face, evidence he hadn't shaved in a few days. Her eyes fell on the bandage on the left side of his forehead. Red blood shone through, a painful reminder to her. Scully walked slowly to his bed and, when she touched his hand with her own, he didn't move. All throughout their partnership, they had always shared such a deep connection, Scully could be in a room with Mulder, blindfolded and without hearing him still know he was there by simply feeling his presence. She could see him, laying beside where she stood, and she could hear his ragged breathing, but she couldn't feel him. *~*~* Tears filled my eyes as we said our last good-byes This sad scene replays of you walking away My body aches from mistakes, betrayed by lust We lied to each other so much that in nothing we trust I try to let go, but I know, we'll never end 'til we dust We lied to each other again but I wish I could trust -Megadeth- *~*~* Mulder was surprised when he saw her enter his room. The bruising on her face was in its final stages before fading. he thought uneasily, grinding his wrists into the restraints that chafed him. He couldn't say definitely whether he had defaced her like that because he couldn't remember. Mulder knew he left Scully's after Nikolas arrived and drove to D.C. - to Casey's Lounge, he was sure of it. The events that followed were a bit hazy until he woke up in the room he was now in. But, according to Skinner, he had never been in Casey's that night; no one, not even Jake the bartender, said they saw him that night when they were questioned by Skinner. So, it was possible that he went home, Scully followed him for some reason that was unknown to him, and, for yet another reason that was beyond him, he. . .did those awful things he was accused of doing to her. He avoided Scully, avoided her eyes for fear of seeing that look that could confirm the accusations. Mulder tried to reason with himself that he couldn't have been the one, he never - ever - would lay an unwanted hand on her; soon, though, he started to believe the story the evidence constructed. He couldn't remember! And there was only one way to the truth - through Scully. "Did I. . .did. . .is what. . .is it true what they said, Scully?" He turned and faced her, waiting for her answer, damning or clearing him. *~*~* For a second of your life tell me that it's true Waiting for a sign is all I want of you Your heart it hides a secret A promise of what is or something more than this Just a second of your time any one will do A taste of any other is all I want from you Make-believe in magic, make-believe in dreams Make-believe impossible, nothing as it seems To see, touch, taste, smell, hear But never know if it's real For this second of your life tell me if it's true Anywhere beyond is all I want of you Your lips lies a secret A promise of a kiss or something more than this Another second of my life not knowing if it's true Make-believe in nothing is all I want of you Whisper me the secret whisper me there is Always something other something more than this. -The Cure- *~*~* Scully couldn't mask the confusion she felt. She searched his hazel eyes. "I don't know, Mulder. I can't remember." It was his turn to look puzzled. "You can't remember?" "No." Her confession surprised him and he squeezed her hand gently, the only contact he could have with her. Mulder didn't know whether he should be happy for her memory loss or not. "I can't remember, either." Mulder sighed shakily. "Scully, I. . .I'm so sorry." She squeezed back. "What's happened to us, Mulder?" "Something. I just haven't figured out what yet." "The police - they want me to confirm you as. . .as him, Mulder, but I can't." "Do you believe I could've done such a thing, Scully?" he said in a low voice. She knew he somewhat expected her to agree, but she didn't. "No, never." Scully's thumb rubbed the back of his hand. "They've got you in here like some kind of psychotic animal." Her voice broke, betraying the calm exterior she was fighting to control. "I believe, Mulder, that you are incapable of doing such. . .things to me, as he did. Not you." His face was shadowed with concern. "The truth is in us, Scully. We just gotta remember it." Her face fell. "I don't want to." "Scully?" He paused, trying again when she didn't look up to him. "Scully, it's not exactly something I want you to relive, but we need to know." Scully resumed eye contact with him and he notice the tears that threatened to fall. "I'm scared to remember, Mulder." He interlocked fingers with her, wishing he wasn't so restricted. "I'm scared, too, Scully. I'm so fucking scared I can't even think straight. I keep hoping, praying that I can remember something to prove it wasn't me, but, as much as I want to, I can't." She nodded her agreement, a few tears falling. "Aw, Scully. . .I didn't mean to make you cry." "I want to remember. I want to prove it wasn't you." __________________________________________________________ Mulder exhaled a deep breath. "Are you sure?" "Yes." Scully covered his hand with her other one. "You left and I read your card." He offered a weak smile. "You're wearing my ring." He strained to see it on her hand. Never had anything looked so right. "Do you like it?" "I love it," she reassured, "and I went back to your place to tell you that I. . .I broke it off with Nikolas, but you weren't there. So, I waited for you." She closed her eyes at the memory. "I heard someone fumble with the lock; I naively assumed it was you. I called out to you, but no one answered. It. . .it wasn't you." Scully clenched his hand. "I can't remember the things he did to me, Mulder. Only that he laughed at me when I tried to pray for you to come home and help me." A tortured cry escaped Mulder. "Then everything went black until I. . .I shot you." She opened her eyes and gently touched the healing wound. "What did I do to you? Oh, God, Mulder. . ." Scully undid his restraints; she needed to feel him and, as soon as the last buckle was undone, he took her in his strong arms, allowing her to grieve for the wrong that was done to her. "I'm so sorry, Scully. I should've been there for you," he murmured to her, smoothing her hair with his hand. Mulder felt tears of his own begin to surface. "I let you down, Scully. You needed me and I wasn't there for you." "No, Mulder, don't do this." She pulled away and gazed at him. "You didn't know." "But I should have. Dammit!" Scully held his face. "As much as we'd like you to be, Mulder, you're not psychic. You couldn't have predicted what happened, even if you tried. You're not to blame, Mulder." They held each other again and it was hard to determine who was comforting who. Her arms wrapped tightly around him; he kissed the top of her head. They were back. They were going to be okay. Somehow, everything would work itself out. "I have to go, Mulder. The nurse will be coming soon." She disentangled herself from him. Mulder, immediately missing the feel of her body against his, held out his wrists to her so she could put the restraints back on. "I hope you're not planning to take advantage of me now, Scully, since I'm all tied up," he joked. She smiled in spite of herself, glad to see the old Mulder. "I'll be back, Mulder. I need to prove you innocent first. You didn't rape me and, soon, everyone will know that." Scully paused and kissed the bandage on his forehead, maybe lingering a bit longer than she should have. "Does it hurt?" "Not too much anymore. I'm too drugged up to notice. Remind me never to piss you off again." She turned to leave when a nurse came in. "Scully?" "Yeah?" "Veritas nullus." Her eyebrow shot up. What does that mean? She asked him with her eyes, hoping their silent communication hadn't been destroyed. It hadn't. It means 'trust no one,' he answered her. And she didn't. There was no one left to trust now but him. As it always was. Her and Mulder against the world, round number 857. This time, they would come out victorious. *~*~* I have a smile, stretched from ear to ear I stare for a while The world around us disappears It's just you and me on my island of hope A breath between us could be miles Let me surround you, a sea to your shore Let me be the calm you seek But everytime I'm close to you There's too much I can't say And you just walk away And I forgot to tell you I love you And night's too long, it's cold here without you I grieve in my condition For I cannot find the words to say I need you so -Sarah McLachlan- *~*~* ___________________________________________________________ March 2, 1999 Washington General, psychiatric ward Room 0115 Washington, D.C. 11:18 AM *~*~* I'm half the man I used to be This feeling as the dawn, it turns to gray I'm half the man I used to be -Stone Temple Pilots- *~*~* "Mr. Mulder?" Melissa, his nurse, came in, interrupting him from his thoughts. In his short stay, he grew fond of the small brunette. Her blue eyes reminded him of Scully's, and that comforted him. It was also her who had told her doctors it would be good to get him out of his bed and into doing normal things. She brought him a chair and, although he was still restrained, he could look out the window. "Yes?" "You have a visitor." Another thing he liked about Melissa. She got Scully in to see him last night. Had she come back so soon? His back remained turned to the door; the footsteps he heard were all wrong; not Scully's soft heels clicking at all. "Scully?" he called, turning around. "Guess again." He was greeted by a male voice. Nikolas. "Get out." Nikolas smirked at him. "Melissa!" "She can't hear you." He stood so that he and Mulder were only separated by a few inches. "How's that lovely partner of yours, Mulder?" Scully. He did something to Scully. "Leave her alone." "Why, Mulder? Because you say so? You're in no position to have any say in anything concerning Dana anymore after what happened in your apartment. What a shame her rapist was never caught." Nikolas moved in closer to him. "You wanna know who's name she calls out?" "You fucking bastard," Mulder whispered. He pulled tightly on his wrists; the ties wouldn't give. He was bound to the chair. "You raped her, you fucking bastard!" "Now, Mulder, calm down. It really isn't anything to get excited over. It was bound to happen anyway." He grinned. "You know, Mulder, I'm going to tell you a little story. Once upon a time, there was this redhead. Everybody - and I mean everybody - wanted to melt the ice and get into that body of hers." Mulder clenched his eyes, continuing his struggle against the restraints that held him back. The man that raped Scully - and possibly the six women before her - was right there and he couldn't do a damn thing about it. "No, wait, here's the best part. The Ice Queen falls for another guy instead of Spooky. Of course, Spooky becomes insane, no pun intended, with jealousyand started buying the Ice Queen rings and everything. But in the end, Mulder, it was me. I fucked her!" Nikolas laughed. "Picture this, if you can. I took her on your couch. The whole time, she whispered your name. 'Oh, Mulder, help me, Mulder,' " he imitated Scully. "She was so tight and so hot. . .God, Mulder, you don't know what you're missing." Nikolas laughed at himself. "Oh, wait, maybe you do. Everyone already thinks you went crazy and raped your partner anyway!" Mulder spit in his face. "Fuck you." This made Nikolas laugh harder. he thought. He twisted his wrists around as tight as he could and he heard a buckle snap. Looking down, his right hand was now free. Mulder ripped the left restraint off his wrist, without Nikolas' knowledge. Slowly, he stood. He would kill him with his own bare hands, if need be. He hurt Scully and that's all Mulder needed to know. "Hey! Wha--" was all he said before Mulder's hands flew around his throat. "Nurse! Nurse!" He laughed off Nikolas' please for help, much like, he imagined, he did to Scully. Adrenaline coursed through his veins and he tightened his grip, provoking Nikolas to fall to his knees in pain. It felt good to feel him struggling to get Mulder off of him. "This hurting you, Cavanaugh? Imagine all the pain you caused her everytime you hit her!" Mulder's hands tightened. "And everytime you touched her!" Tightened even further. "And everytime you raped you, you asshole!" Melissa ran inside the room. "Mr. Mulder!" He let go of him without fighting him. Nikolas, who tried to regain his breath, threw a dirty look at Mulder. "He's fucking crazy, man! Fucking insane. He tried to kill me!" "I think you should leave now," Melissa instructed. She turned to Mulder. "You broke your restraints, Mr. Mulder." He nodded, his breath still coming in heavy spurts. "What happened?" "It's him," he answered, laying back in his bed. "He's the one who raped my partner." _____________________________________________________________ March 2, 1999 West Forty-Sixth Street New York City, New York 4:00 PM *~*~* Things could be worse, but they couldn't be much more Turn out the lights, close the door. Oh, I'm tired of being me Yeah, can't you see? Tell me it's all right, help me believe I'm tired of being me -Streetcleaners- *~*~* "It's time." Several heads turned to see who was talking. The smoking man tapped his Morley's box on the heel of his hand. "Something wrong?" the second elder asked. The young man fidgeted in his chair. "They made contact." "How?" The first elder instantly got to his feet. "This was something we arranged for you to prevent." "It couldn't be helped," the young man tried to explain. "It happened outside of my presence." "This is what we've feared. Soon enough, they'll be able to fit the pieces together and. . ." the third elder trailed off. "And nothing!" The smoking man threw down the pack. "We will rectify the mistake immediately. The plan will be moved into Phase Three." "Isn't that a little risky?" the fourth elder asked. "Mulder and Scully together are far more powerful than Mulder and Scully alone," the second elder reminded. "It's too dangerous," the British gentleman said. "Mulder and Scully are becoming suspicious. And we know how Mulder gets when he's in that mindframe." "New players are being added to the game board," the smoking man replied. "We will carry out Phase Three with caution." "Excuse me, sir?" A man entered the room. "Yes?" "We're, uh, experiencing some. . .difficulties with the young woman, sir. Your presence is requested; we need to know how to proceed." The smoking man nodded in his direction and the man exited. "Again?" the young British man asked. "I'll deal with it." The smoking man opened the door. "Wait!" The young man crossed the room. The smoking man lit a cigarette and raised it to his lips. Inhaled. "What do I do if Dana starts asking me questions about Mulder?" Exhaled. "Deny everything, of course." *~*~* I hurt myself today to see if I still feel I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real the needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting try to kill it all away but I remember everything what have I become, my sweetest friend? everyone I know goes away in the end you could have it all my empire of dirt I will let you down, I will make you hurt I wear my crown of shit on my liar's chair full of broken thoughts I cannot repair beneath the stain of time the feeling disappears you are someone else I am still right here if I could start again a million miles away I would keep myself, I would find a way -Nine Inch Nails- *~*~* End of (10/12) Author's Note: "Since I Don't Have You" perf. by Guns 'N' Roses "Trust" by Megadeth "More Than This" by The Cure "I Love You" by Sarah McLachlan "Creep" by Stone Temple Pilots "Tired Of Being Me" by the Streetcleaners "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails were used without permission. No infringement intended. Part (11/12) March 3, 1999 3170 West 53 Road - Apt. # 35 Annapolis, Maryland 6:19 PM *~*~* So nobody ever told us baby How it was gonna be So what'll happen to us baby Guess we'll have to wait and see I'll never find anyone to replace you Guess I'll have to make it through, this time - Oh this time Without you -Guns 'N' Roses- *~*~* Scully looked, exasperated, at her front door. Somebody kept knocking and then, mumbling something. Who was it? It wasn't Skinner; she hadn't talked to him in a few days. Nikolas? She'd kill him just for interrupting her movie. She wasn't in the mood for another one of his visits. Her mother? As far as she remembered, she was still in Texas with Charlie. Who could this be? She rose, wearily, and looked through the peephole. Oh. . .God. She wasn't in the mood for this, either. She was trying to relax after a long day in the office of the X-Files, trying to finish the abundant number of expense reports for cases Mulder had put off doing, and she really wanted to get back to "The Shining" before she missed her favorite part. Opening the door a few inches, she glared irritatedly at the men in front of her. "What?" she groaned. Nice wasn't an option anymore. "Scully, can we come in?" The long-haired one asked. "It's really important. Things you should know," the suited one asked. It always amazed her how much he stuck out like a sore thumb. The old one simply leered at her. "What are you wearing under that robe, Agent Scully?" She rolled her eyes in response and pulled her robe around her tighter. She could picture Mulder as Frohicke in a few years. "What brings you guys here? Don't you have some secret government covert operation to exploit?" "That's what we came here to do, honest," Langley said. "I'm really going to regret this, but, come in." Scully stepped aside, gazing longingly at the couch she left. "And this better be quick, because I'll shoot you. And, if it isn't important, I'll shoot you twice." "May I?" Byers nodded towards her chair. "Knock yourself out." Langley sat on the floor; Frohicke joined her on the couch. "All right, out with it. What's up?" Byers reached into his briefcase and pulled out two of what she made out to be medical charts. One was Mulder's, the other was. . .hers? "What are you doing with these? I've already seen them." "Then you know about the nameless drug you were given?" Langley continued. "Drug? We were given plenty of drugs. Sedatives, pain medication --" "Something that probably set this whole thing in motion, too," Frohicke said, lowering his head. "Scully, we're really sorry about --" She held up her hand to abruptly cut him off. "It's okay, thanks." She could do without delving into the whole Mulder-rape discussion again; she didn't need reminders of that plaguing her already terror-filled dreams. Setting both of the charts on the table side by side, she sat on the floor, looking for evidence to back up their claims. Sure enough, something she, in all her years of medical practice, had never heard of, was consistent in both of their charts. Whatever it was -- ironically labeled with an X and nothing more - both had a high dosage of it in their respective hospitals. "My God, what the hell is this?" "We searched every medical database," said Byers. "Hacked through various hospitals and medical centers we could," Langley contributed. "And we're still stumped," finished Frohicke. "So, that's why we're here. We figured you might know." Scully scrambled to her feet, rushing to the bookshelf that contained her various medical journals and other literature. "This is nothing I've ever seen before." She began rummaging through the text. "I don't know how this even got into us. And at such a high level!" "At a number like that I'm sure you experienced some kind of abnormal side effects, Agent Scully," Byers said. She froze in mid-search. Side effects. She thought about her weakness, constant nausea and other things she just attributed to the aftermath of her attack. "I have to tell Skinner," she whispered. "Mulder would've had to have effects, too, which is why he was given the pain medication." Langley chuckled. "How could he not? You two almost o.d.'d on the stuff!" "Which means. . .oh, God!" Scully quickly ushered them to the door. "You have to leave now. I have to go over this stuff." "But--" Byers interrupted. "Thank you, guys. I owe you big time." She opened the door and pushed them out. "Scully!" Langley began. "Bye!" She closed the door behind them, now in her Doctor Scully mindset. She returned to the charts, interpreting the medical notations made on each. The drug had to be ingested somehow, in something they both ate or drank the night of her birthday and of January 11. It wasn't the cake, or even the popcorn. That only left. . .the milk! Both had drank milk on her birthday and she drank milk with her coffee on the 11th. Mulder was complaining of headaches, dizziness and nausea. Scully picked up her cell phone, smiling with an excitement she hadn't had since this whole ordeal began. she thought to herself. *~*~* I am thinking of you in my sleepless solitude tonight If it's wrong to love you then my heart won't let me right Cause I've drowned in you and I won't pull through Without you by my side Baby can you feel me Imagining I'm looking in your eyes I can see you clearly Vividly emblazoned in my mind And yet you're so far like a distant star I'm wishing on tonight -Mariah Carey- *~*~* ______________________________________________________________ March 3, 1999 3170 West 53 Road - Apt. # 35 Annapolis, Maryland 7:17 PM Scully sat cross-legged on her couch, a lit cigarette dangling from her fingers. She hadn't smoked in years, an old remedy for calming her down, and yet, here she was, bringing it to her lips once again. An abrupt knock startled her. She reached over the ashtray for her Sig Sauer 9 mm, raising it and walked to the door. "Agent Scully?" a voice called. Lowering her weapon, she knew it was Skinner. She opened the door and stepped aside, offering access into her apartment. "Sir," she said, formally. "I never knew you smoked." She extinguished the cigarette as quickly as she had lit it. "I don't." She reholstered her weapon. Uncomfortably, he sat in her chair. "What is this meeting about, Agent Scully?" "Sir, I was wondering if I could talk to you off-record." "Concerning?" "Agent Mulder . . . and the events leading to and around my assault." "Something you've remembered about the incident, I'm assuming." "No, sir. Something that was recently brought to my attention." Scully pushed two folders - one with a Washington General emblem, the other with one from Northeast Georgetown Medical Center - to the end of the coffee table. Skinner picked up both, beginning to read the one from Georgetown. "What am I looking for?" he asked, unable to decipher what was in front of him. "An unidentified agent was listed as being administered previous to both my hospitalization and that of Agent Mulder." "An unidentified agent?" he repeated with uncertainty as to what that meant. "One that I myself haven't been able to distinguish, sir. After various testing and vigorous researching, I cannot even begin to tell you what this is, only what side effects arose from the introduction." "Agent Scully, I must ask. Is this a last attempt of yours to clear your partner's name?" "Sir, I'm not sure. I just want to know what we were exposed to without our consent." Her cerulean eyes fixated on his. "Although I cannot presently collaborate with Agent Mulder's version of events, I want you to know, sir, I have no knowledge of being given this substance, nor do I recall it being given to Agent Mulder. I do, however, think we ingested it in some milk I have in my refrigerator." She ran her fingers lazily through her hair as Skinner replaced the charts. "What I can clearly say is that, after both myself and Mulder were given this, we both have sustained what I believe to be temporary memory loss, though I also believe mine to be worse than his, due to the heightened state of my prolonged exposure to this. "On January eleventh, Mulder came to my apartment so we could begin our investigation of this rapist by stating our respective views. I must say now, that this case we were beginning bears more than a trivial resemblance to the one we are currently in ourselves. I was ill and Agent Mulder spent the night. . .with me. . .in my bed. . .at my insistence. All of this, of course, was relayed back to me from both Mulder and my mother since I had, and still have, no recollection of this." "How did you come about this information? I'm sure neither hospital made the connection." "I'm not at liberty to say." "Agent Scully, I thought you wanted this off record." "I do, sir. But I feel the need to withhold the name or names out of obligation to my source." "All right." Skinner shifted slightly in the chair. "I'm not exactly sure what to say. If what you're saying is true --" "It is, sir, all of it. But there's more. I am now beginning to believe Agent Mulder is not my attacker, and, therefore, should not be charged as so." *~*~* If we could see tomorrow, what of your plans? I was the one who's washing blood off your hands. I know the things you wanted, they're not what you had. With all the people talking, it's driving you mad. If I was standing by you, how would you feel? I thought I could live in your world, as years all went by. And when you're in need of someone, my heart won't deny you. So many seem so lonely with no one left to cry to, baby. Don't you cry tonight - I still love you, baby. Don't you cry tonight. -Guns 'N' Roses - *~*~* Skinner's eyebrows shot up; she instantly knew how Mulder felt whenever she was skeptical. "I thought you couldn't remember anything about that night. Is there something you've voluntarily withheld from me?" "No." He saw Scully frown. He didn't mean to sound so accusing, but he wanted to get to the bottom of this, and, through her was the only way to do that. "Well, then, what makes you so sure of Mulder's innocence?" "He and I both share the memory loss, I know of that. But since we were exposed to the same substance, we should have the same effects from it, which clearly we didn't. The night of January 11th, a night of which I most likely was overexposed, I had a high fever, accompanied by slight convulsions and nausea. I also had a nosebleed; although reoccurances in me are likely, that was the worst I'd had so far. Mulder shared my memory loss and high fever, but his symptoms included a pounding headache and lightheadedness. Those, of course, could be attributed to his high alcohol intake that night, any prescription or other medical drug he could've taken outside my presence or simply the fact that he's a man. I cannot say with certainty what altered the effects, but I can say with the dosage amount he had in him, he wouldn't have been able to hit a fly, let alone me. Physically, he wasn't well enough; almost like a bad flu or virus took hold of him, as it did with me twice. And, sir, why would Agent Mulder voluntarily expose himself to this? He couldn't have possibly known the effects from it. I don't even know where he could've gotten it from. I've never seen or read about anything like it." She paused to make sure he was understanding the medical evidence she'd come to realize. "Also, I'm sure of your knowledge about the X-File we were working on that parallels this scenario. I'm sure, if we see the files on the three victims, this unknown drug will be consistent with them, as will the effects from it." "Details regarding the rapes were made public," Skinner added. "Exactly. Agent Mulder suspected this wasn't a random attacking, but one of a serial sex offender. Now, granted, since Mulder was working on the profile of the attacker, it is plausible that he could've thrown in mistakes to throw me off track. But, not only was Mulder nowhere in the vicinity of where the other crimes took place, but he was with me working on other cases. I even double checked all the dates to make sure. The case against Mulder just doesn't add up, and, frankly, doesn't make any sense." "You've given this a lot of thought." "As I should, sir. I don't want an innocent man to be indicted for crimes he did not commit." Skinner stood, taking hold of his keys. "Where are you going?" "I'm going to take you to your mother's. While you're there, I'm going to see what I can do about getting Mulder released." Scully got to her feet. "Don't tell anyone, for any reason, where you are." Locking the door behind her, they walked out to his car. Skinner took out his cell phone, dialing the number for Washington General. "Washington General Psychiatric Ward Nurses' Station, how may I help you?" "Yes, this is Walter Skinner with the Federal Bureau of Investigation. You currently have one of my agents admitted there, Fox Mulder. I would like to speak with his doctor, please." "I'm afraid that isn't possible, Mr. Skinner." "Not possible?" "No. Mr. Mulder is no longer a patient here. He's been discharged." End of (11/12) Author's Note: "Estranged" by Guns 'N' Roses "My All" by Mariah Carey "Don't Cry [alt. lyrics]" by Guns 'N' Roses were used without permission. No infringement intended. Part (12/12) March 3, 1999 1029 Cedar Crest Terrace Baltimore, Maryland 8:25 PM *~*~* Why are you doing this to me? am I not living up to what I'm supposed to be? why am I seething with this animosity? I think you owe me a great big apology terrible lie -Nine Inch Nails- *~*~* Skinner paced back and forth across Maggie Scully's empty living room. He was at a loss for what to do next. Mulder disappeared from the hospital and, now, his worried extended from Scully to her partner. "Hello?" Skinner reached for his gun, knowing that voice was not Scully's. "Mrs. Scully?" Mulder came into the living room, going face to face with his superior. "Uh, hello, sir." "Where the hell have you been, Mulder? I don't remember authorizing your discharge." Mulder ignored the question, instead looking around the empty house. "Where's Scully?" "Why should I tell you?" "I believe she's in danger, sir. That's why I came here." "The only danger she's in is around you." Skinner and Mulder turned around to find Bill Scully staring back at the two. "I want you gone, Mulder. Dana doesn't need you adding to her problems." "Mind your own business." Scully's brother or no, Mulder wasn't about to get pushed around by Bill when he needed to protect Scully. No way. "Dana's my sister. It is my business." Bill grabbed Mulder's shoulders and forcefully pulled him toward the door. "Get off me, Bill," Mulder warned, pushing him. Bill reached back and punched him in the stomach; Mulder bowled over, giving him the opportunity to kick him. Falling to the floor, he pulled Bill's legs out from under him, causing him to fall alongside of him. Mulder punched Bill twice in the face. "Mulder, stop!" Scully called out. "What the hell's gotten into you?" He did as she asked, standing in spite of his pain. *~*~* I really don't know what you mean. seems like salvation comes only in our dreams. I feel my hatred grow all the more extreme. can this world really be as sad as it seems don't take it away from me. I need someone to hold on to. -Nine Inch Nails- *~*~* "I'm, uh, sorry, Scully." He nodded towards Bill, who laid on the floor. "Go back upstairs, Dana," he said. "Don't order me around like some little girl, Bill," she argued. "I didn't do it, Scully." Mulder walked over to her slowly. She nodded. "I know." "But how?" "I remember. . .everything. It wasn't you." Scully slipped her hand into his. "Can you positively identify your attacker, Agent Scully?" Skinner asked. Her grip tightened around Mulder's hand. "Sir, my attacker was that son of a bitch who just walked through the front door," she pointed. "Dana," Nikolas called out to her. *~*~* there's nothing left for me to hide. I lost my ignorance, security and pride. I'm all alone in a world you must despise. I believed that promises, your promises and lies -Nine Inch Nails- *~*~* "Agent Cavanaugh," Skinner started. "Dana, get away from him," Nikolas warned, approaching her and Mulder. Scully put her hand around Mulder's arm, making sure he stayed with her instead of attacking Nikolas. "Go to hell." "It's too late, Cavanaugh. She remembered the truth," Mulder said. "Come with me, Dana," Nikolas continued, extending his hand to him. "We can talk." "Agent Cavanaugh, I'm afraid you'll have to come with me," Skinner said, approaching him. He pulled out his Sig Sauer. "I'm not leaving without her." Mulder pulled out of Scully's clutches. "You heard the man, Cavanaugh. Scully's staying here." "Uh-uh." Nikolas looked pleadingly to Scully. "Come on, Dana. Please." "Get out, Nikolas," she replied. Both Skinner and Mulder closed around Nikolas when Bill stood up, plowing into the back of Nikolas. He pulled the trigger of his Sig, two bullets cutting through the air. "NOOOOOOOO!" Scully screamed. *~*~* you made me throw it all away, my morals left to decay. how many you betray, you've taken everything my head is filled with disease, my skin is begging you please. I'm on my hands and knees, I want so much to believe. I gave you everything, my sweet everything -Nine Inch Nails- *~*~* ______________________________________________________________ March 3, 1999 1029 Cedar Crest Terrace Baltimore, Maryland 9:09 PM *~*~* I looked into your eyes they told me plenty I already knew you never felt a thing so soon forgotten all that you do in more than words I tried to tell you, the more I tried I failed & I would stand by you no matter what they'd say, I would I thought I'd be with you until my dying day I used to think my life was often empty a lonely space to fill you hurt me more than I ever would have imagined you made my world stand still & in that stillness there was a freedom I never felt before -Sarah McLachlan- *~*~* Scully's eyes darted around the room, nervously, trying to figure out where the bullets had hit. Nikolas was on the floor under Bill, so it wasn't them. She looked to Mulder in fear, who shared her expression as he saw the blood on her. Was she shot? "It wasn't me," she confirmed. That left Skinner, who was looking down at his leg. Scully ran over to him. "Lay down, sir," she said, trying to quickly find out how much damage was done. She took off her sweatshirt, leaving a small tank top underneath, and pressed against the wound. He was bleeding so much. "Bill, we need an ambulance!" Mulder knocked the gun out of Nikolas' hand and the two picked up where they had left off. Nikolas was on Mulder, with his hands around his neck. Mulder rolled over and the situation was reversed. "Bill, hurry!" Scully cried. Skinner moved underneath her hand. "Sir, you're going to have to stay still. We're getting help." Nikolas threw Mulder back underneath him; with two fistfuls of hair, he smashed his head against the hardwood floor, repeating each movement after hearing the gratifying sound Mulder's skull made. "Mulder!" Scully turned to Skinner, who was fighting consciousness. His blood continued to flow everywhere. "Sir?" Scully shook him violently. she thought. His eyes fluttered open. "Sir, I need you to hold this against your leg. Sir? Can you do that?" Skinner nodded inaudibly. Nikolas reached for his gun. Not too far away. . .just a little more. . .a little bit more. . .His fingertips grazed the black metal. He quickly put it in his hand and held it at Mulder's head, cocking off the safety. "Freeze!" Scully shouted, bringing her own gun up to his head. "I've got you, Nikolas. You so much as breathe wrong and I'm gonna blow your fucking brains out." "Come any closer, Dana, and I'll shoot him." Mulder looked up at her; she didn't return his gaze. Her blue eyes concentrated on Nikolas. "Drop your weapon and step away from my partner." "I can do it without blinking. Isn't that what they taught us in Quantico? Don't think of your mark as a person - think of them as a target. And then eliminate the target." He pressed the barrel into Mulder's temple. "I really didn't want it to have to come to this, Dana, but you forced me to. Drop your weapon." "I'm placing you under arrest, you fucking dickhead, for the sexual assault of a federal agent, obstructing justice and the attempted assassination of the Assistant Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law." Scully moved closer, step by step, and threw back the hammer. "You have the right to an attorney." Step, step. "If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you." Step, step. She now stood right in front of Nikolas and Mulder. Sirens of ambulances blared in the distance, growing closer. "Do you understand these rights as I have explained them to you?" "Scccuuullllllleeeeee. . ." Mulder called. "Stop right there, Dana." His finger twitched by the trigger. "You don't really want to play the game of 'who's gun is faster,' do you?" "Do. You. Understand. These. Fucking. Rights. As. I. Have. Explained. Them. To. You?" she yelled through clenched teeth. "Get off Agent Mulder now!" Nikolas pulled back on the trigger, but she reacted first, firing her entire round into his body. The bullets sounded like popcorn, pop, pop, pop, as they emptied from her gun. Mulder took in Scully's expression as Nikolas' lifeless body slumped over against the wall. At first, her eyes went wide with shock and her lips parted slightly to make a small O. Later, her lower lip trembled and she wrapped her arms protectively around herself, eyes watering but still locked on the body in front of her. She'd killed him. "Give me the gun, Scully," Mulder said. Her Sig Sauer fell to her feet. Was she the only one? Or had there been more? And just how many more? The more the amount of questions filled her head, the less amount of answers she had to go along with them. Scully ran up to him and started kicking him. Hard. She kicked him for everytime he kissed her. "You asshole!" She kicked him for everytime he entered her against her will. "I hope you rot in hell, you fuck!" She kicked him for everytime he made her think it was Mulder. "You fucking raped me!!" Mulder pulled her away from Nikolas' body as the paramedics walked into the house, splitting to attend to Nikolas and Skinner. Her hands went instinctively up to her face, her body shaking with mute sobs that came freely. Her whole world, the perfect world she thanked God for everyday, dissolved. Scully then and there felt so unwanted, so openly stupid. Cursing herself for how she hadn't noticed this, how she could be so blindly aware of what was going on around her. She felt a warmth come over her and she was lifted up. Peering at her partner, Scully half-expected to see an 'I told you so' look on his face, admonishing herself immediately for thinking that. Mulder's eyes offered her the support and strength she needed. He carefully laid her down on her childhood bed; he pulled her closer to his side in embrace, trying to soothe her pain as only he knew how to. Scully moved closer to him, thankful he knew this would closeness would make her feel better. It was all over now, yet, she found no pleasure in knowing Nikolas had died at her hand. She sniffled as her breathing slowed, shivering slightly under Mulder's hand that rubbed her back. She took comfort in feeling his heartbeat against her cheek, a calming noise that brought her a safe feeling. Mulder looked down at her, smoothing her hair with his right hand. he observed. It was better that she had; she didn't need anymore reminders of what just happened. From the way she laid on his chest, he could smell her patented scent, apples and cinnamon. The most delectable mixture, one he had always associated with her. Hell, he couldn't even eat an apple pie without thinking of her. Mulder heard the chirping of her cell phone. Removing himself gently, she stirred against him. "I'll be right back," he whispered, answering the questions her eyes asked. "I have to get you something." Somewhat satisfied with his answer, she drifted off to sleep again and he left the room. "Hello?" he spoke into her phone. "Don't take the case in Vermont, Agent Mulder," a breathy voice cautioned. "What? Who is this?" "There will be more danger than you care to take on in Vermont. Leave the case alone or you and Agent Scully will risk more than you ever have before." "Who are you?" "Now is not the time for introductions. I'm risking myself too much as it is. Just remember what I told you, Agent Mulder," the voice continued persistently. "Do not, under any circumstance, take this case in Vermont. I'll be in contact." The dial tone buzzed loudly in his ear. Deciding not to read too much into the warning, he walked into what was once Captain William Scully's study, leaving with a blanket in hand. "You left," Scully said, now awake and pouting slightly, when he returned. There was no arguing in her voice, just laden fatigue and pain. "I went to get you this." He wrapped her in a blue blanket, matching her equally blue eyes. "Ahab," she stated, offering him a slight smile. This was her favorite blanket. "I figured you were cold." There was more to it than that and they both knew it. Scully curled up with that blanket whenever something was troubling her. It reminded her of the sea, which, in turn, reminded her of her late father. "Thanks, Mulder." She opened the blanket and touched the side of the bed next to her. "Are you sure?" he asked. She shook her head, motioning for him to join her. Scully fell asleep again, her head on Mulder's chest and her heart on the way to repair as they walls around them finally collapsed. *~*~* Won't you let me catch your fall Won't you let me land a hand Those lonely eyes have seen it all But love's too blind to understand Cause you don't know what you have Til your everything is gone You need someone to show you how to live again You wouldn't know that I was there Cause I have been there all the time And if I had my way I'd hold you in my arms And leave the madness all behind Cause you got so much to give But you throw it all away And all you got to show for who you are is pain And I've got so much to give If you'd only let me in I'm gonna take this time to show that I'm a friend You'll believe in love again I wanna be there in the pouring rain I wanna be there when you call my name I'm gonna light your fire Gonna fuel your flame I wanna be there when I'm outta town And when your damn world is crashing down I wanna be there when your nights are long And when you're feeling like you don't belong I'm gonna be there in the morning I'm gonna be there in the night I'm gonna be there to make you strong when you're tired I'm gonna be there when you want me I wanna be there when you don't Gonna be your lover Gonna be your friend Gonna be there til the end -Blessid Union Of Souls- *~*~* The End Loved it? Hated it? Let me know. :) Author's Note: "Terrible Lie" by Nine Inch Nails "Plenty" by Sarah McLachlan "I Wanna Be There" by Blessid Union of Souls were used without permission. No infringement intended.