From: dhcmoon@aol.com (Dhcmoon) Date: 02 Oct 1999 19:03:34 GMT Subject: NEW: "Vicious Circle" by Sister Moon (1/1) TITLE: Vicious Circle (1/1) AUTHOR: Sister Moon E-MAIL: Dhcmoon@aol.com RATING: R, for language CATEGORY: Angst, Angst, ANGST, MSR SUMMARY: This is one of my older stories. It was written just before I saw the episode "Monday." I'd read spoilers about an episode where Mulder and Scully would relive the same day over and over, resulting in their deaths in a bank. I didn't know any more than that when I wrote this, so it doesn't follow the actual episode. FEEDBACK: Yes, please!!!! E-mail me at the above address. ARCHIVE: I'd love it, but please let me know where it's going. DISCLAIMERS: These characters do not belong to me and I'm writing this for fun, not for profit. NOTE: For Marina and Dee, for Char, Mairead and my pals at FODDX. Many thanks to you all! "Vicious Circle" (1/1) Before he was fully awake, Mulder realized he wasn't alone on his couch. His arms were wrapped around a warm, curvaceous body, and silky hair tickled his nose. "Scully?" he said softly, smiling to himself. He groaned out loud as he opened his eyes and felt the nauseating pain of a hangover headache. He looked down at the sleeping figure in his arms, and his eyes widened in shock. Diana Fowley sighed in her sleep and snuggled tighter against him. **************** Mulder's stomach lurched as memories of the previous night flooded back to him. He'd gone to Casey's to drink and wallow in self-pity after a grueling day with Scully. A work-related argument had suddenly turned personal, and they'd both said things to deliberately hurt the other. And though they'd ended the day civilly, with plans for Scully to pick up Mulder to begin a new assignment in the morning, Mulder couldn't get the things they'd said to each other out of his mind. After he'd downed several drinks, Diana had walked into Casey's and slid onto the barstool next to his. She'd offered him a sympathetic ear, and he'd gratefully accepted it. He'd found himself opening up to her, telling her things he'd been holding in for years....mostly about his partner. He told Diana how much he loved Scully....and how hopeless it was. He'd tried to tell Scully he loved her and she'd walked away from him, nearly laughing in his face. He'd never let on to her, but it had torn him up inside. He'd known ever since then where he stood with Scully; theirs would be a friendly, professional relationship and nothing more. But it was becoming harder and harder for him to accept it. That was why he'd become so vindictive when they'd started arguing. He'd *wanted* to hurt Scully like she'd hurt him. Some of the previous night was a blur to him; he could vaguely recall staggering to his front door, his arm around Diana's shoulder to support himself. He remembered slumping miserably on his couch next to her. He remembered Diana telling him to forget Scully....Scully didn't love him.........but *she* did. Then she'd leaned in to kiss him, and in despair, he'd begun to respond to her. His memory was blank after that. Mulder moved slowly to extricate himself from Diana's arms, careful not to wake her. She murmured incoherently and rolled over, still sound asleep. Mulder crept into his bathroom and stepped into the shower, scrubbing himself roughly to clear his head. He stood in front of the bathroom mirror in his bathrobe, wiping the last bit of shaving cream off his face, when he heard the doorbell ring. "Oh, shit!" he whispered out loud. His heart began pounding wildly at the realization that Scully had arrived to pick him up. "I'll get it," he rushed by Diana, who was awake and shrugging on his shirt, which she'd picked up off the floor. He opened the door and saw Scully looking at him in disapproval. "You're not ready *yet*, Mulder? I told you I'd be here at 8:30--" "Scully....I'm sorry.....if you can just wait downstairs, I'll be down in five min--" Mulder's stomach sank as he felt Diana's hands go around his waist from behind him. "Who is it, Fox? Oh, hello, Agent Scully," Diana said smoothly. "Agent Fowley." Scully's voice was as cold as ice, but equally calm. "Scully--" Mulder started helplessly. "I'll be waiting in the car." Scully's eyes met Mulder's for a moment before she turned and walked stiffly down the hallway. Mulder pulled away from Diana and hurried into the bathroom, falling to his knees at the toilet to vomit violently. ********************** When Mulder approached Scully's car, he saw her sitting in the driver's seat, her head bowed, one hand wiping at her eyes. She straightened up and stared rigidly ahead out the window when she heard him opening the door to get in. She started driving as soon as he shut the door. They drove in uneasy silence, as Mulder searched for the right words to say. The tension finally became too much for him to bear. "Scully.......it's not what you think......" "I don't think anything, Mulder....it's none of my business what you do on your own time." Mulder could hear the effort in her voice not to quaver. Her face was blotchy; he knew she'd been crying while she waited for him. "Scully, don't say that....it *is* your business.....why can't you be honest with me and admit you care?" He looked at her with pleading eyes, willing her to look at him, but she remained focused on the road ahead. "Scully....." He reached a hand out to touch her cheek and she jerked her face away, abruptly pulling the car to a stop. "Scully, *please*---look at me...." "I have to stop at the bank.....I'll be right out," Scully said aloofly, opening the door to get out. "What? *Now*??? The hell with the bank, Scully---talk to me!" "I need to make a deposit now or I'll bounce checks. I have to." She left the car without a backward glance at him. He leaned his head forward against the dashboard and closed his eyes. "I don't fucking believe this," he said out loud. His hangover made every bone in his body ache, his head pounded dully, and his stomach churned in nausea. He looked up in alarm when he heard the popping sounds of gunfire coming from inside the bank. A man ran out of the bank into a waiting car, which sped off down the street. Mulder rushed out of Scully's car and into the bank, his eyes searching frantically for Scully through the crowd of panicked bank employees and customers. His heart stopped when he saw several people gathered around a person lying prone on the floor. "Scully!" She was lying on her back, gasping desperately for air, as blood pumped furiously from a gaping gunshot wound in her chest. Mulder kneeled down next to her and took her hand. "Somebody call an ambulance-NOW!" "They're on their way," a man said quietly over Mulder's shoulder. Mulder stroked Scully's face. "Ambulance is on its way, Scully...just hold on." Her wide, frightened eyes met his. "Mu---Mulder...." "Don't try to talk, just take it easy....you'll be okay---" Mulder was numb with grief. He knew by the amount of blood Scully was rapidly losing, and the sucking sound in her chest as she breathed, that the ambulance would be too late. He was going to lose her. He brushed away a tear rolling down Scully's cheek and smoothed her hair, never taking his eyes from hers. "Stay with me, Scully." "Mulder....." He had to lean in close to hear her last words to him. "I loved you........" Her eyes closed, and her hand went slack in his. "Scully?" She was gone. "Scully?" He gathered her in his arms and rocked her, whispering into her hair. The EMS workers arrived and one crouched down next to Mulder. "Sir, we'll take care of her." Mulder ignored him, clutching Scully protectively against his chest. A hand touched his shoulder and he shrugged it off with a grunt, pressing his face into Scully's neck as if to hide. "He's in shock," he heard the man say. Hands gripped Mulder's arms more forcefully, and in turn, he held Scully tighter, refusing to let her go. He felt someone rolling up his shirt and jacket sleeves, then the prick of a needle going into his arm. "No!!" he protested, as the tranquilizer instantly began ebbing his strength. He held on to Scully for as long as he could, until he was too weak to struggle anymore. The EMS workers carefully lifted Scully from his arms and onto a stretcher. He said her name once, and then he lost consciousness. *************************** "Scully?" Mulder woke up in a cold sweat, with Scully's name on his lips, and his arms tightening around her. As he opened his eyes, a wave of nausea hit him and he felt a sharp pain in his head. He looked down to see Diana Fowley sleeping in his arms and groaned at the memory of what he'd done the previous night. Bringing Diana home with him from Casey's after a drinking binge was the worst thing he could have done. He slid out from under her slowly, relieved when she rolled over and continued to sleep. He dreaded facing her when she woke up. When he had to tell her that last night had been a mistake--one made out of desperate loneliness, and anger at Scully over the bitter argument they'd had earlier that day. He went into the bathroom and turned the shower on. Adjusting the water to as hot as he could stand he stepped in, resting his forehead against the tiled wall wearily. He tried to recall the details of the nightmare he'd been having about Scully that had startled him awake in such panic. It had most probably stemmed from the guilt weighing on his mind, but he couldn't shake the impression that something bad was about to happen. That it was something more than just the remnant of a dream. When he heard the doorbell ring a short time later, and he whispered "Oh, shit!" at himself in the bathroom mirror, dj vu jolted through him. He ran by Diana, towards the front door. "I'll get it!" When he opened the door and heard Scully say "You're not ready *yet*, Mulder? I told you I'd be here at 8:30---", the dj vu hit him as strongly as before. He knew before it happened that Diana would walk up behind him and put her arms around him possessively in front of Scully. And that Scully would look at him with such hurt in her eyes that it was like a knife in his heart. ******************* As he got into Scully's car, a helpless feeling of inevitability came over him as he heard himself and Scully saying words he'd somehow heard them speak before. "Scully..it's not what you think---" "I don't think anything, Mulder....it's none of my business what you do on your own time." "Scully, don't say that...it *is* your business...why can't you be honest with me and admit you care?" He said Scully's name, and reached his hand out to stroke her cheek. When she recoiled from his touch, the inexplicable premonition of impending tragedy washed over Mulder again. "Scully, *please*--look at me....." "I have to stop at the bank...I'll be right out." As Scully opened the door to get out, a vivid image leaped into Mulder's mind of him holding her in his arms on the bank floor. Blood was everywhere, soaking the both of them. He was speaking softly to Scully, but she wasn't answering. She was so still......so pale....... Mulder grabbed her by one arm to keep her in the car. "Scully, don't go in there!" She pulled her arm out of his grip, finally turning to look at him in disgust. "I need to make a deposit now or I'll bounce checks. I have to." "Something bad is going to happen if you go in there...please....we'll go to another branch-" "Something *bad* is going to happen?" Scully asked sarcastically. "And you would know that *how*?" "I just *know*, Scully....just trust me....please." "I'm not in the mood for one of your spooky hunches, Mulder," she said testily as she got out of the car and walked towards the bank. Mulder got out of the car and hurried after her. Scully reached the bank door as a man holding a handgun was running out, and he looked at her, startled. Mulder was able to pull Scully away just before the man's gun went off, and the bullet exploded into Mulder's chest, knocking him off his feet. He felt searing pain as he hit the sidewalk heavily on his back. Scully crouched beside him and pulled out her cellphone, yelling into it for an ambulance. She pulled her jacket off and pressed it against his wound, the hopelessness in her eyes betraying the assurance she gave him that he would be fine. He knew he was dying. The agonizing pain that had racked his body only a moment before was already numbing, and he felt the serenity that came with acceptance. Scully was touching his face and crying; telling him she-was-sorry-she-was-so-sorry-Oh-God-Mulder. He wanted to tell her it was alright-he'd wanted to save her and he had-but he couldn't speak. His throat was filled with a heavy liquid that he realized with calm detachment must be his blood. He kept his eyes fixed on Scully's, hoping they would tell her everything he couldn't say in words. Scully leaned over him, touched her forehead to his and sobbed out loud, no longer hiding her emotion. She grasped one of his hands and squeezed it. The last sensation Mulder felt was Scully's mouth pressing against his to kiss him, her lips salty with tears. As he closed his eyes, he heard her call his name. Then there was nothing. ************** "Scully?" Mulder's eyes popped open and he squinted as the headache hit him full force. He glanced at the woman lying asleep on top of him, then eased himself from under her so as not to disturb her. She mumbled unintelligibly and rolled over, pressing herself further info the sofa. Mulder quietly walked across the living room, picked up his cell phone and headed for the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He pressed #1 on the cell phone's speed dial. "Scully." At the sound of Scully's voice, Mulder's knees buckled, and he sank down on the edge of the bathtub. "Scully!" he breathed, his eyes shutting in relief. "*Yes*." She still sounded pissed off at him from their argument the day before, but Mulder didn't care. He was getting another chance to make everything right, and he wouldn't blow it this time. "Scully, where are you?" "I'm home, I was just about to come get you." "No, stay there, Scully, I'll come get *you*." "But--" "Scully, *please*....just wait for me there, okay?" Scully let out an exasperated breath. "Oh, alright....I'll see you when you get here." Mulder heard a click as Scully hung up. He dialed the police next, telling them that an anonymous informant had warned him of a bank robbery being planned for that morning at the First National Bank on Wilmont Street. Then he put the cell phone down on the toilet tank and stepped into the shower for a hurried wash. A few minutes later, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, he stepped back into the living room and found Diana awake, sitting up on the couch, wearing his shirt. "Good morning." Diana smiled at him warmly, and he felt a sharp pang of guilt. Mulder sat down on the couch next to her, and she moved closer to him and slid her arms around his neck. Mulder gently moved her arms away from him. "Diana......uh....about last night--" "What about it, lover?" she purred in his ear, rifling her fingers through his hair. Mulder took her hand out of his hair and held it in his. "Diana.......last night shouldn't have happened---" Diana snatched her hand out of his, her smile fading. "Oh, I get it!" She jumped up angrily and grabbed her clothes off the floor. "You got what you wanted out of me so that's it, right, Fox???" She unbuttoned Mulder's shirt roughly, letting it fall off her shoulders un-self-consciously, and began putting on her own clothes. "No! It's not that.....I......I......" "Oh spare me! I should have known you were just using me as a substitute for your precious *Scully*! Selfish bastard!!" Diana picked up her purse and stormed to the door, with Mulder behind her. "Diana---" She reached the door and pulled it open. "You know what, Fox? She can have you....you were too drunk last night to get it up anyway---*loser*," she sneered as she slammed the door shut behind her. *********** Twenty minutes later, Mulder stood in front of Scully's door, ringing her doorbell. Scully opened the door, looking at Mulder in annoyance. "Mulder...what the hell is this? You're not dressed for work--you haven't even *shaved*!" Mulder gazed at her mutely, his eyes filling with tears. Scully's fierce expression softened and her voice became gentle. "Mulder? What is it?" He stepped closer to her and grabbed her in a tight hug, burying his face in her hair, breathing heavily. "Mulder?" "Scully, I'm sorry about yesterday....I didn't mean the things I said-" Scully's hands moved up and down his back in a comforting motion. "I'm sorry, too," he heard her say softly as she hugged him firmly around the waist. Mulder kissed the top of her head then pulled back, cupping her face in his hands. Unable to resist, he leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. Scully surprised him by threading her hands through his hair and holding him there to deepen the kiss. She pushed him backwards until he hit the wall, and opened her mouth, attacking his tongue ferociously with hers. "I wanted to kill you yesterday," she panted when they broke apart to gasp for breath. "What about today?" Scully answered him with another heated kiss. ************ "Scully?" Mulder opened his eyes and looked down at the sleeping woman in his arms. He smiled to himself when he saw the gleam of Scully's red hair in the morning light. He ran his fingers languorously through it a few times, then lightly touched her face. "Scully?" "Mmmmmm?....." She stirred and leaned up on one elbow, smiling sleepily at him. "Hi." "Hey." She reached up and brushed her fingers against his lips, swollen from hours of passionate kissing. He held her fingers there to kiss them, then moved them away to speak. "Scully?" "Yeah?" "What day is it?" She looked at Mulder with a quizzical smile and moved her body until she was crouching over him, her face inches from his. "Did I rock your world so much you can't even remember what day it is, Mulder?" she teased and gave him a quick "Good morning" kiss. "Yeah, something like that," he answered sheepishly. "It's Tuesday." "Good," he exhaled in relief. He raked his hands through her hair again and brought her face down to his for a lingering kiss. "Alright, Mulder, I have to ask....why do you want to know what day it is?" Mulder pondered telling her for a fleeting moment, then just as quickly changed his mind. He shook his head and grinned at her. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Scully raised her eyebrow. "You're probably right, Mulder.....better quit while you're ahead." end.