From: Scully4946@aol.com
Date: Sun, 3 Jun 2001 16:02:56 EDT
Subject: Virtual Victory
Source: direct

       Special Agent Dana Scully was having a pleasant, relaxing afternoon, 
sipping coffee in her office, going over a homicide report.
"Ahhhh....nothing like sitting back and reading about someone else's 
misfortune," she said to herself. "I have to do this more often." But then 
her partner, incredibly hyper, busted in the door.
"Hey, Scully! You won't believe it! The Smoking Man is my father!!!!" Mulder 
exclaimed.
"Uh, Mulder...you found that out last week."
"Ooops, sorry. Wrong episode. Anyway, I landed us a case in the Antarctic 
where we can investigate the existence of estra-terrestrial life."
"Sure. fine. Whatever."

PAULA ABDUL AIRPORT
       "Hey Scully!" Mulder yelled excitedly as he exited the bathroom. "They 
have the quilted brand of toilet paper! Honest to God, they do !"
Embarrassed by the stares of others, Scully went back to her book "Chicken 
Soup for the Skeptic's Soul".
       Just then, a pack of killer pigeons burst into the bay window, swept 
up Mulder and Scully, and tossed them into an alternate dimension.
       They landed in a vast field of tulips and daisies. Being deathly 
afraid of daisies, Scully started screaming hysterically,"What have I ever 
done to you?! I demand to know!"
       Just then, a shadow settled in front of the sun as a burst of 
intimidatingly scary music came on. From the shadow emerged thousands upon 
thousands of acorns. They finally discovered that this "shadow" was a pack of 
killer squirrels who just happened to be in the middle of their mid-life 
crisis.
       Eventually, the squirrels were chased away by a swarm of locusts. 
Seeing as though they were not wanted, Mulder and Scully decided that they 
must figure a way to get back to reality. Being the brilliant Oxford graduate 
that he is, Mulder took a running start and ran straight into a tree. Don't 
ask me why. I just thought that it would bring a funny mental picture to your 
mind. Anywhoo, Scully came to his aid and although Mulder said that he was 
fine, Scully insisted on carrying him (another mental picture. hehe). So, she 
carried Mulder on her back until she reached a vortex-looking object that was 
protruding from a seemingly ordinary tree. She decided that she had nothing 
to loose if she threw Mulder in first, so he went into the swirling vortex. 
Unfortunately, the munchkins who lived in this vortex threw him back out and 
he collided into Scully. To her great surprise, he was laughing hysterically.
       "Oh my freaking golly-gosh!!! Those are the most funkadaisical little 
mutants that I have ever seen! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I'm feeling a little sleepy 
and....," then Mulder burst into song. "Hello my honey, hello my darling, 
hello my nighttime gal!" To make Mulder calm down, Scully whipped out her 
handy-dandy tranquilizer dart that she just happened to have in her purse and 
shot him (remembrances of Anasazi. I love you Scully). So, once again, she 
was carrying Mulder and this time, she ran into her fairy godmother. As luck 
would have it, her irresponsible godmother had missed her 32nd birthday and 
she was short on a wish of her choice. Scully was contemplating the choices. 
Get me and Mulder out of this weird dimension, or maybe a nice castle made 
out of ice. She had always like that idea, but of course, she chose to get 
out of the dimension. This disappoints me because I was really looking 
forward to seeing a castle mad out of ice. Oh well. Anyways, the returned. 
Skinner got ticked off. Krycek tried to kill Scully, but Mulder came to her 
rescue in the nick of time and a bunch of odd things will happen once I 
figure out a new story.