********************************************************************* This author's e-mail address has changed to: xanaduxf@yahoo.com ********************************************************************* ***DISCLAIMER***: All "X-Files" elements and references in this story belong to Fox Broadcasting, Chris Carter, and 1013 Productions, and I am making no money from it. "December Baby" belongs to Connie Smith Watson, but since it was written for me, I don't think she'll mind me borrowing it. :) ========== Visit by shannono shannono@iname.com Vignette, Angst Rated PG Spoilers through "Emily" Summary: Scully marks her sister's birthday. ========== Visit by shannono ========== How many days till baby comes? A hop, a skip, and two or three hums How many dreams does a mother dream? More than a million, so it seems. Long, long thoughts on a summer day Of a brand new darling coming your way; Plans and dreams as the fall leaves fly, All will come true one day by and by, As the carols and Christmas glow begin And the newest angel moves right in. -- "December Baby," Connie Smith Watson ========== Evergreen Cemetery Annapolis, Maryland January 21, 1998 2:33 p.m. A chill wind blew through the iron gates of the cemetery, picking up the soggy leaves covering the ground and spreading them haphazardly across the rows of grass- covered graves. A light drizzle fell from the low clouds overhead, as it had for several days, leaving the headstones slick with moisture. At first glance, the cemetery looked deserted. No holidays brought out crowds to place flowers on their loved ones' graves, and the weather was enough to discourage any random visitors. But a flash of color against the gloom heralded the arrival of a lone, black-clad figure walking across the wet grass. The bright auburn shone like a beacon through the grey atmosphere, but the effect was anything but cheerful, offset by the pale skin and downcast expression of the small face below the hair. The woman, for it was a woman, slowed and stopped before a headstone, ignoring the gradual dampening of her hair and face. She stood still for a long moment, as if frozen in place, staring at the writing before her: "Melissa Scully, 1963-1995. Beloved daughter, sister, and friend. May she walk in the light forever." ========== Jake's Bar and Grill Annapolis, Maryland January 21, 1984 7:33 p.m. Dana Scully shoved open the door and, as she stepped inside, immediately started searching the crowded restaurant for a familiar flash of auburn hair. But before she could see what she looked for, she heard a voice call out to her: "Hey, Dana, you're late!" Turning to her left, Dana met the laughing eyes of her older sister, Melissa. Smiling, Dana walked over to the small table and slid into an empty chair. "Hey, Missy," she said, leaning over for a quick hug. "Happy birthday, and sorry I'm late. My chemistry lab ran a little longer than I thought it would." "That's okay," Melissa answered, waving a hand. "You're here now. So should we get this party started right?" Dana laughed. "Hey, you're the one turning 21, not me," she said. "I've got another year to go. Besides, you need me for the designated driver." Melissa grinned. "Yep, I sure do," she replied. "Gotta take advantage of my newly achieved age and order myself some *serious* alcohol!" She glanced over her shoulder, catching the eye of a waiter, and signaled him over. After ordering their drinks -- rum and Coke for Melissa, plain Coke for Dana -- the sisters sat back and perused the menu, chatting about everything and nothing. Dana's classes. Melissa's new job, at a health food store. Their family, various friends. Finally, the waiter returned with their drinks and took their food orders. As he walked away, Melissa turned to Dana with a twinkle in her eye. "So, Dana," Melissa said. "Tell me more about this new guy you're seeing." Dana blushed slightly. "John?" she said. "Oh, he's okay. He's really nice, but ..." "But?" Melissa said. "He's gorgeous, he's smart, and he's *very* interested in you. What's not to like?" "I know," Dana said, stirring her drink slowly with the straw. "He *is* nice, and I *do* like him, but ... I just think he's ready to get a lot more serious than I am right now. I'm not quite 20, and I'm still trying to decide what to do after college." She looked up at Melissa. "I mean, I want to get married and have kids eventually, but ..." Melissa grinned. "But not while you're carrying a heavy course load and trying to get into medical school?" "Exactly," Dana said, nodding her head emphatically. "I need to decide what I want to *do* with the rest of my life before I decide who I'm going to spend it with." Melissa chuckled as she finished off her drink, nodding to the waiter for another. Then she turned back to Dana. "I understand, Dana," she said seriously, placing her hand over her sister's. "I know how important getting through school and deciding on a career is to you. I just don't want you to end up completely successful, but alone." Dana shook her head. "I've got plenty of time, Missy," she said. "Like I said, I'm not even 20. I've got a *long* time before my biological clock starts ticking." She took another sip of her Coke, then smiled. "Now, this is supposed to be a party, so let's party!" "Hear, hear," Melissa said, raising her glass as if in a toast. ========== Evergreen Cemetery Annapolis, Maryland January 21, 1998 2:47 p.m. Dana stood staring at Melissa's headstone, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Oh, Missy," she said, her voice cracking. "If I'd only known ..." Dana remembered herself at 19, going on 20 -- young, naive, and eager to take on the world. School had been her priority, medical school and a successful career her goal. She'd taken a turn after her residency, accepting a position with the FBI. But she'd had no idea how that one decision would shape the rest of her life -- and the lives of those around her. Dana sank slowly to the grass next to her sister's grave, pulling her trench coat under her to shield her legs from the soaked grass and leaves. She felt wetness on her face, but wasn't sure if it was the rain or her own tears. She reached to brush her hand along the granite marker. "I just don't know any more, Missy," she whispered. "Have I done the right thing? Did I make the right choices?" She closed her eyes, unwittingly wishing for an answer from her sister. A sign, like the one that had led her to Emily. At the thought of her lost daughter, Dana allowed her head to drop and the tears to fall. Just Emily's existence had been such a shock, and that was when Dana had been so sure she'd been Missy's daughter. To discover that the beautiful little girl was her own daughter ... For months before her discovery, Dana had known that she would be unable to have children of her own, at least by natural means. She'd never know the joy of planning for her child, looking ahead to her birth, dreaming of her arrival. What she hadn't known then was that her sterility was a direct result of her abduction, and, therefore, a result of her decision to join the FBI. Now, remembering the long-ago conversation with her sister, Dana wondered if she'd done the right thing. If she should have just gone with her original plan, either going into private practice or becoming a medical examiner. Then she wouldn't have been abducted, and Missy would still be here. And she'd still be able to look forward to having children. Dana tried to shake off the thoughts, as she'd done again and again during the weeks since Emily's death. But she couldn't rid herself of her sense of guilt, her gut feeling that one decision made so long ago could have changed so many people's lives. Including Mulder's. As they did so often, Dana's thoughts came back around to her partner. She had considered many times how Mulder's life would have been different if she'd never been partnered with him. She knew what his reputation had been before she arrived, that he'd been considered just short of psychotic. Her influence, however, had given him stability and imbued his work, if not him, with a sort of grudging respect from others in the bureau. If she'd never come along ... well, Dana didn't know exactly what would have happened, but she doubted he would have lasted much longer alone. And she couldn't imagine many people who would have been willing to deal with everything she'd been through with him. She managed a slight smile as her mind raced through some of their more ... *interesting* cases. They'd started out where she was now, in a cemetery in the rain. They'd first opened up to each other on that first case, in a dark hotel room, she trusting him enough to reveal her fear, he trusting her enough to reveal his beliefs. And what a wild ride they'd had since then. Mutants. UFOs and EBEs. Conspiracies. Diseases. Bugs. Clones. Abductions ... Dana closed her eyes again at the thought. She knew her abduction had to have been a direct result of her influence on Mulder's work. Their enemies had thought closing the X-files would have been enough to sever their partnership. When it wasn't, they resorted to more drastic measures. Dana's eyes reopened and landed once again on the writing engraved on her sister's headstone. "May she walk in the light forever." Those words had actually been Mulder's suggestion, one she'd been surprised to hear. But then her mother had explained that Melissa had spoken to Mulder while Dana was in a coma after her abduction. Missy had been the one who'd gotten Mulder to return to Dana's bedside, and Melissa believed it had been his vigil that was largely responsible for Dana's recovery. Apparently, Mulder had appreciated Missy's intervention more than anyone had known. Dana sighed, then ran her hand across her sister's name once again. She hadn't been really sure why she wanted to come here, but it was Missy's birthday, and Dana had wanted to feel closer to her. She leaned forward and began to speak in a low voice. "Missy," she said. "I know you're not really here, that this grave holds only your body and not your spirit. But I wanted to be with you today, and this was the closest I could get. "I wanted you to know that I did find Emily, and I'm glad I did. It was hard to see her suffer and even harder to let her go, but I did have the chance to be with her, and to love her. I don't know if I'll ever be able to have any other children, but I'll always have the memory of Emily. "I don't know if you can hear me, Missy, but I wanted to thank you for helping me find my daughter. Please watch after her, take care of her for me. I love you, Missy, and I miss you so much." Tears were streaming down Dana's face as she finished speaking, but she didn't bother to wipe them away. She closed her eyes, and could see her sister's smiling face, could hear her voice ... "I love you, little sister ..." Dana opened her eyes, and smiled, a little more at peace.