From: "Dream Cole" Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2000 08:32:13 CST Subject: xfc: NEW: Waiting (1 of 1), PG, MSR Source: xfc From: "Dream Cole" Title: Waiting Author: Dream Cole E-mail: dreamcole@hotmail.com Rating: PGish. Classifications: V, MSR (Okay, MSM), S Spoilers: None. But I'm ignoring any episode that said Scully could not have children. This is kind of a continuation of the Dream Series, although it is quite obvious what happened. This is the 12th one I've written; if you would like the other parts just let me know. If you are missing a piece, let me know and I'd be happy to get it to you. Summary: Mulder and Scully are forced to wait. Disclaimer: I don't own em. I'd like to, but I don't. Notes: Author's notes at the end. This is dedicated to Katie, my best friend since I can hardly remember, who recently died of cancer. May you find peace among the stars and joy among the angels. I love you. Waiting "You're waiting for someone to put you together. You're waiting for someone to push you away. There's always another wound to discover. There's always something more you wish he'd say." --Vertical Horizon, "Everything You Want" Waiting. That's all there is left to do. I'm not a very patient person by nature so this feels like torture. A bittersweet torture, since after this endless period of waiting we will be blessed with something (or rather, someone) wonderful. A child to call our own. Unfortunatly that requires... waiting. I can't handle this. Neither can the lovely wife, whose head rests in my lap. I can't help but feel pangs of pity when I see the way she clutches her belly (which now appears to be stuffed with water-balloons, ready to pop), the way she struggles every time she attempts changing positions, the way she knocks things to the floor by simply turning around. She is also a very impatient person and with the doctor having told her to "go home and wait", she tries to hide the anger she feels at being helpless. I wish I could do something to help her but as of now I'm merely an outsider looking in, a stranger in the form of her husband, waiting for the child inside to just give up and come out. *Click. Click. Click-click-click.* She flips through the channels, frowning in distaste at the lack of interesting programs at this time of day. What can I say, it's not quite noon and the daily soap operas aren't as exciting as our life, at least, the way it used to be. Throwing the remote against the cushion, my wife finds a magazine and starts flicking through that. She's read that one a thousand times, at least, and when she realizes that she throws that aside also. Bed rest. She's on recommended (although, with the way her OB looked, it appeared more like required) bed rest for the amount of time this child wishes to hide away. When that might be is the question, considering that the due date has come and gone at least a week ago. Time just blurs together with the endless television shows, magazines, and rustled-up dinners. We are too exhausted to do anything (the summer heat controls us) and I worry what we will be like once the baby arrives. The baby. One of the good things of life. Before I had thought that Dana, my precious Dana, was the only good thing I had managed to salvage of the wreckage that was my life. When we got married I thought my heart was about to burst from sheer happiness. And I was happy. Believe me, I was thrilled to pieces, no complaints here. I could die happily knowing I had the love of my life all to myself. "I'm pregnant." Those two words, uttered quietly nearly eight months ago, changed my life. We were expecting a child and while I was terrified, I couldn't help but feel pride and hope. Pride that soon there would be a little child to call my own, to raise and love the way I wished I had been. And hope that miracles do happen and peace can exist. When I found out there was nothing left to do but wait I was terrified. What were we waiting for? Was something bad going to happen to this child that I have fallen in love with? I'd read too many books about mothers dying during childbirth and while I had been assured that cases like that were becoming rare, I became a wreck. What would I do if we got into a situation where I had to choose between the baby and my wife? Who would I choose? What would happen if I choose my wife? Would she ever forgive me? When I think of these I shrink back, afraid that the gorgeous angel with the copper locks and bright blue eyes knows what I'm thinking. Could she forgive me? There's just too many questions and I struggle to push them to the back of my mind. She tenses up quickly and her hands fly to her belly. Is the child coming? I question her with her eyes and she pauses, then shakes her head and lies back down. Not coming. Not yet anyway. But soon, oh yes, soon our child will come. Everything will happen far too quickly for my liking but after everthing we have endured and everything we overcame, a helpless infant will come into this world, completely dependant on me and my wife. So, even though the baby is not coming yet, I'm not worried. I can wait. Difficult as it may be, I will wait. Author's note: I know, the song has no significance to the story. It was Katie's favorite song and besides, it's my story and I'll put it in if I want to! So there! For some reason I've been having trouble thinking of new parts to this series. All comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated.