From: "Doug Ackerman" Date: Sat, 3 Apr 1999 00:11:22 -0500 Subject: walking through fire DISCLAIMER: Mulder, Scully, and any other X-Files characters in this story belong to Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting, and Ten-Thirteen. No infringement intended. Please don't sue me, 'cause I'm not worth it. No animals were harmed at any time during its production. Any other characters in this story are mine, and can be purchased for the right price. RATED: PG-13 (adult themes) TYPE: MSR DATE FINISHED: ARCHIVE: Anywhere, especially at the Gossamer! SPOILERS: None I can think of. If there is, they're only mentioned. BY: Colby Reuben AUTHOR'S DEDICATION: To Q, for some really good feedback :] E-MAIL: leainluv@yahoo.com FLAMES: Sure; it'll warm my hands right up! WEBSITES: http://www.gurlpages.com/nolabel/mouse80 : *LEA* 's Home-Grown 'Shipper Site http://pages.whowhere.lycos.com/entertainment/rccr/ : Colby and Dani's Ultimate X-Files TITLE: "Walking Through Fire" POV: Author's SUMMARY: Mulder and Scully are fighting immediately after their engagement. NOTE(S): If you see a place in this fic where it says Scully said something, I meant she said it with her hand, okay? "Walking Through Fire" By Colby Reuben "And I see you There Nude at the top of the stairs; So far away. And I recall All Your dreams and your schemes; All the plans that we made. The streets salivate." -Better Than Ezra, "Waxing or Waning?" Mulder sat cross-legged on Scully's bed. The two had been talking. A little news, a little weather, a lot of talk about work?but nothing they never had talked about before. Mulder had just come back from a case in Northern Vermont. He had rested on the plane, and arriving with flowers, greeted Scully with a passionate kiss in front of all in the airport. He was still exhausted, but when he saw her face, all the caffeine in his body combined to bring himself fully to her. You couldn't really call them "meant to be." That's not how the audience at the airport would describe them. They could tell in the red head's smile that there was a healing scar within her, and the bandage was the taller guy; the reasons for their thoughts hidden in the energy the two diffused once they clashed. It'd been the first time anyone there had ever seen a love so true. Even the best actor couldn't fool a crowd with all his effort to act out a romance like Mulder and Scully's. No, hidden beneath their skin was a deeper place where only he could find her irresistible in every sense and where only she could only understand him in a telepathic manner. Mulder smiled at her as the conversation drifted into cliches. Tenderly, Mulder held her hand, swinging it back and forth impishly. "I love you so much, Scully," he said to her, just staring at her, beyond her, into her. She grinned, mouthed the words back to him redundantly. "I wish we could spend every night like this," she signed. Mulder had caught on quickly to the whole signing thing. It'd been troublesome at first, though he wouldn't admit it, then it became their personal way of communicating, romance lingering in every form of each word. With disarraying impulse, Mulder leaned forward and kissed her hard on the lips. Not hard in a painful way; just making the moment more meaningful, all the more majestic, if it could be. He leaned back, but didn't move his head far away. He took his hand, gently stroking her face, feeling her porcelain skin tickle his heart. He discreetly pulled her hair away from her face. He looked over her gorgeous complexion, feeling every feature. He had it truly in his mind forever now. Not that he hadn't before. He'd always had her somewhere inside him; her laugh in his smile, her unique figure in his mind, her touch in his heart, her words prior to the incident in his soul, his spirit bathed when remembering her eyes. "I love you so much," he repeated, kissing her like never before. They had been united in heaven, serene emotions pierced into a plate of gold, words recorded on an unbreakable tape. In the eyes of God they were married, but not by law. "So we should be," Mulder said, pulling away, looking unnecessarily hopeful at Scully. Scully questioned him with a creased brow. "What do you say, Scully? Marry me?" he indecently proposed. Taken aback, Scully's face held shock, embarrassment, and excitement. "Are you serious?" she signed. He nodded. And in a whirl of predictions, assumptions and fantasies, Scully nodded and released a suppressed laugh. Mulder leaned forward, hugging her tightly. He moved his hands up and down her back, smiling a sincere grin of security and surety. He held her so close, so dearly, that already they appeared celebrating their crystal anniversary. He'd made a lot of mistakes and wrong-doings, but he knew already there wasn't one in this decision; anywhere. Mulder pulled harder on Scully's arm, begging her to follow him. She rolled her eyes, excitedly entering the jeweler's. Mulder took off a day to be with the ever-enchanting Scully-now his fiance-and to take her to pick out a ring. "C'mon, Scully. If this is who you're going to act here, then how are you ever going to walk up the aisle?" Mulder questioned, hiding a smile until completing the sentence. She'd only been nervous because she wondered if anyone she knew would see her, what people would think of her. They'd think I'm happy, she thought; and the luckiest woman alive, because I most certainly am! she added. "Choose the one you like, Scully," Mulder said, looking over the collection of women's wedding rings. Scully squeezed Mulder's hand affectionately, looking over the rings adoringly. And then Mulder saw her eyes light up. She pointed to a ring, the jeweler waiting on her decision looked through the rings, Scully directing him to the one she liked by pointing left, right, up, or down. The ring was a small gold band. It had one bigger diamond in the center of the band placed in the gold and two smaller ones on either side if the bigger diamond. It glittered in the lights; it shined in Scully's eyes. "You like that one?" Mulder asked. Scully confirmed with a nod. She took the ring off of her finger (which perfectly fit) and handed it to the jeweler. "Thank you very much," he said, taking a black box and the symbol of Mulder and Scully's growing love to the register. The next day, Fox Mulder left for Florida. He'd left early the next morning, leaving Scully a message on her machine explaining he had to leave right away. He'd come home and packed, and, with a kiss on his fiance's sleeping face, left for the plane ride. He wasn't sure how long he would be gone. All he knew was that it was an important case-deaths only three hours apart by something, something vicious. When Scully woke up, she was surprised not to find him there, but got his message and sighed listlessly. Another lonely night, she thought; but I'll manage. Scully wished Mulder would quit his job, but even he wouldn't do that for her-not without arguing, anyway-but she wouldn't subjugate him from wishing he was still looking for all the answers, so she wouldn't intervene. She wanted him to have happiness, but she wanted him home, too. She sighed again, and went to make up the bed. It took a week, but Mulder came home soon enough. It had been a horrible case. Its end resulted in several more deaths, which Mulder was sure he could have prevented if only he had been sooner. And his guilt led him to a bar. He drank until his mind was "clear", then left to greet Scully. She wasn't waiting for him this time, and that was relief to him. He didn't want her to know he had let innocent civilians die, even though his assisting police officers had dissuaded him not blame himself, for they didn't have the resources to help death's toll. Mulder knocked on Scully's door drunkenly. "Hi," he said drunkenly, brushing past her. She watched him go by. The smell of liquor and urine poisoned her nose. She caught up with him, tapped him on the arm and signed, "Mulder, have you been drinking? Is that why you're late?" Mulder stood completely deadpan for a moment. He wouldn't lie to her, but he wouldn't admit anything. Not until he had some sleep-some well-earned sleep according to Detective Simpson. Scully enveloped him in a long hug. When are you going to see this isn't the way to solve any of your problems, Mulder? she thought. "I'm tired," he said weakly. Scully released him. "Go to bed, Mulder," she signed, but he did not reply. In the morning, Mulder did not go to work. Whatever had happened in Florida, it had a lasting effect on Mulder, Scully noticed. He seemed down when he finally awoke, dragging his eerie mood to her. And that's what led to their fight of all fights. "G'morning," Mulder said glumly. Scully nodded in response, handing him some toast. "Sleep good?" he asked. She nodded. "Are you okay?" he asked, looking at her ignorance to respond to him with her usual quickness. Scully sat down at the table, grasping his hand. "Would this work?" she asked with her free hand. Mulder questioned her with a crooked brow. "A relationship, Mulder. Between us. Do you really think it'd work?" she replied. Mulder sat back in his chair, slightly aghast and suddenly fully awake. "I don't know," he said back to her, a tone of despair in his voice. "Do you?" She shrugged. "I'm just afraid that we're going to fast. That maybe it's not right at all." "This is what you think about all day while I'm gone?" he exploded. "You're doubting us? We were crafted for each other-everyone says so!" "Mulder, maybe we look like a perfect match to other people, but are we alone? Are we really meant to be married? It's not just a "fling", Mulder! It's the real deal." Mulder frowned. "I don't know how you can do this to me right after we're engaged! What were you thinking already?" Mulder, in a maddened and scared disgust, hastily left. He heard Scully slump against the door in a failed effort to grab him before he left, because he was the only thing she had to grab on to. And Mulder had failed her too. How many people, he felt, was he going to let fall into a their coffins? Buried alive, he thought. They'd had arguments before, but never, he could recall, did he ever walk out on her. He never thought he would. Does this mean he wouldn't walk through fire for her? Like promised? Well?????