From: ScullyK8@aol.com Date: Sun, 12 Sep 1999 11:44:03 EDT Subject: Water Woes Source: direct Title: Water Woes Author: Kate G. Summary: Mulder + no water + Victoria's Secret! Rating: PG-13, for some lude thoughts and curses. Classification: Mild H, Mulder POV Spoilers: Little one for Home Feedback: The way to this author's heart! Send mail to ScullyK8@aol.com Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own them. CC is the God of that little world. And I only wished that I owned Victoria's Secret! Author's Notes: Based on a true story. Well, not all of it, but the central idea. Plot? Nope, not here! Just a little piece to clear the mind. Enjoy! Thanks to the local water company for inspiring me. And to Krissa, for listening to me complain about it! Xxxxxxxxxxxxx Water Woes September 1999 Xxxxxxxxxxxxx Slamming the door to my apartment, I pulled my Nikes off and threw them in the corner behind the door. Wow, I could smell them from over here. Time for some new Oder-eaters. Oh, wait...that wasn't all my shoes. Some of it was me. Man, do I stink! Time for a shower. It was only 5:30 and even though the sun was still under the horizon, it was humid as hell out there. Damn Indian Summer. The run had made me sweat like a pig. I could feel a grin starting to spread across my face. Scully had looked damn good on that case...okay, time for a shower! The shirt came over my head reluctantly, sticking to me like Saran Wrap. Same thing with my shorts and socks. After I threw them all into a damp heap on the floor I rummage around for a towel. I see one in the back of my 'linen closet'. Pulling it out and sniffing it I discover that it's clean. How did that happen? Must be my lucky day, I think and head off to the bathroom. A nice lukewarm shower will be perfect. Just warm enough not to be cold, but cool enough to lower my body temperature. Turning the knob in the stall I hear the pipes give their usual shudder and lurch and then...nothing. No water comes out. I turn the knob to 'off' and try again. Same reaction. DAMMIT! All I want is a shower and the city of Washington has to pick THE hottest morning to do something, hell I don't even know what, but I know it's them behind it. Banging on the showerhead with the heel of my hand and cursing really nasty words does nothing to help. "DAMMIT!" I scream one last time before stalking out of the bathroom, still clutching my towel in my hand. Slowly strangling my towel, I consider my options. I could go to the Gunmen's and beg to use their shower, but that would require some lengthy travel on my part. And I smell too much to go that far in public. Or, sighing, I realize my only real option is to go to Scully's and bust out my best puppy dog face. I know that she'll give me her best, "The things I do for you Mulder" face, but hey, maybe she'll be wearing her pj's still. With a groan I pull all my sticky clothing back on and grab my towel and toothbrush and head out the door. I don't even bother with work clothes, I know I have a back-up suit at her place, right down to boxers and socks. The cabby is less than enthusiastic to see my, or should I say, smell me in his cab. Not that I can blame him, but he does make the trip to Georgetown quickly. I pay him and make my way up to Scully's apartment. I use my key for the building's main door and stop at her door. I knock on it quietly with my knuckles, so as not to disturb the other neighbor's. It's only now 6:00 and I know she would normally still be asleep for another 45 minutes, at least. After the fifth quiet knock I give a short medium loud one. Success! I can hear her scuffling around and mumbling as she fumbles with the lock on the door. As she slowly opens the door I can see that her usual nighttime attire of satin pajamas was traded for a more college coed look last night. Her tiny feet stick out from flannel pj bottoms and her chest is framed quit nicely with a tiny white T-shirt. "What do you want Mulder? It's only 6." "I know, I'm sorry. Water is off at my place, can I use your shower?" I flash the puppy dog face and hope that she sees it behind her drooping eyelids. She must because the door opens wider as she invites me in. "Yeah, whatever. Just wake me up when you're done so I can get in there. You have 45 minutes." She graciously falls onto the couch and curls up under an afghan so I can have the whole bedroom and bathroom to myself. I make a beeline for the bathroom and shut the door. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx The inside of her bathroom is quite...girlie. There are soaps and towels and sprays and lotions everywhere. There are candles beside her big tub. There is even a radio CD player with a few CD's sitting next to it on the sink. How much time does she spend in here? I decide to 'treat' myself since I've had such a rough morning and put a classic rock station on the radio. But I keep it low, so as not to wake Scully. 45 minutes to get ready is far more than I need, so I take my time. I run the water lukewarm, as planned and I let it spray a couple of seconds before getting in. I hang my towel on the towel bar and step in. Holy crap. If there were a lot of girlie things outside of the shower, then inside is pure woman. There are at least two dozen different bottles of things in here. Well, maybe not that bad, but there is a lot of stuff. I spy her razor and that poof-thing that I have seen on overnight trips. I go to grab where my shampoo would normally be and...Dammit again. I left all my stuff at home and I didn't bring my travel bag. I rummage through her collection of bottles and pick something that says 'Clean and Clear' and sniff it. It seems safe enough, so I lather and rinse. I find some regular 'Zest' soap and use that. I spy a disposable razor and grab her shaving gel. It is marked 'unscented', thank god. All I need is to go to the office smelling like a girl. I am just about to get out when I realize that all of the stuff I used does not smell how Scully normally smells. She smells, like deep rich flowers and fruits, I can't rationalize it in my mind. I glance around the shower curtain at the clock on the sink, only 6:15, plenty of time to snoop. I pick up bottles and tubes and start sniffing. I must go through about ten of them before finding the winner. It is in a clear tube and the stuff inside appears to be pinkish-orange. I look at the label...WHOA, Victoria's Secret! All right Scully! It is called 'Sweet Temptation', ah, if only she knew. Hum, Victoria's Secret, eh Scully? I will remember that for future reference. I go to take a final loving whiff of it when all of a sudden; a stream of the pink stuff comes flying out and lands on my shoulder. Dammit! I try to let the running water wash it away, but the huge glob is staying put. And now it's starting to run down my chest and back. I am sure that I am making my panic face when I grab the poof-thingy off her showerhead. I start to scrub furiously at the gooey glob. DAMMIT, it is smearing all over my chest now and the scent is starting to permeate through the foggy air. There are pink bubbles all over me. I jump back under the water and let it wash over me. That seems to work and all the bubbles go down the drain. I turn the water off and quickly jump out, hanging the poof-thingy back up in it's exact resting place and replace the tube of 'Sweet Temptation' to the melee of bottles. I hope she doesn't notice. I get dried and dressed with 5 minutes to spare. That escapade in the shower must have eaten up some of my time. Whatever, I just hope that I don't smell like Scully. I go and wake her up at exactly 6:45. "Hey, Scully, time to wake up." "k..." I hear her mumble with her face buried in her throw pillow, the blanket pulled up high over her shoulders. I really don't want to try and wake her again, that has proven to be lethal in the past. Even if it means running late, it is better to do that than try to wake her twice in a row. Lucky for me she wearily stands up and lets the blanket fall on the floor as she pads towards her bedroom. She stops suddenly and sniffs the air. Busted! But no, she keeps walking and shuts the door. Now that I am in the clear, for now anyway, I take this opportunity to make her breakfast. I put on coffee and I look around for bagels. Finding none, I rummage through her cupboards and find some Cocoa Puffs in the cereal section. I knew Scully liked some junky food. She just likes to keep it hidden for some reason, kinda like the fact that she likes to use products from Victoria's Secret. I tell myself that today is NOT the day to mention either of those facts to her. I am sitting at the table reading the paper when at exactly 7:30 she emerges from her bedroom, looking like professional Scully. Only she has no shoes on, making her a good foot and a half shorter than me. She walks behind me and gives my shoulders a squeeze. "Thanks for making breakfast, Mulder. I see you found my Cocoa Puffs." "Yup." I try to keep my answers to a minimum so she can't see how nervous I am about the whole 'Sweet Temptation' thing. But now she is still standing behind me with her hands on my shoulders. She is very obviously sniffing the air. I am sure that I am busted this time, but my luck again she says, "Coffee smells great." "Oh, yeah, I guess it does." I try to keep quiet the rest of the morning and let her do the talking. I am even quiet on the ride to work, but why did she have to suggest that we ride together this morning? I keep getting that, 'I'm busted' feeling every couple of minutes because she will stop in mid-sentence and sniff the air, or her wrists. But for the last ten minutes of the ride to work, she is quiet just looking out the window, so I think that I am in the clear once we get out of the car and into some well ventilated offices. After I park the car and we get out in the garage I walk slightly behind her, so she is not downwind from me. I'll just keep the door open in the office today and I'll be fine, I foolishly tell myself. Just make it through the elevator ride down to the basement. The elevator doors swallow us up and I hold my breath until the very bottom. Scully is talking about the case that we had left over from last night. Almost there, Mulder, just hang on! She is still chattering away when the doors open up to reveal the hall with my safe haven office and I can see it, calling to me. Scully sticks her hand on my chest all of a sudden, stopping my near leap to the door. "By the way, Mulder, the next time that you want to borrow my 'Sweet Temptations' body scrub, you just have to ask." She says it so seriously and I attempt a half smile. Then she can't hold it anymore and she bursts out laughing at me. I'm going to the Gunmen's next time I have no water. The End Xxxxxxxxxxxxx Like it? Love it? Hate it? Let me know! ScullyK8@aol.com