From: Jacquie Sabatier Date: 19 Nov 2008 20:59:22 -0800 Subject: xfc: FF: We have to start Somewhere...ch 1 Source: atxc Authors: Sassy and Jacquie Category: MSR Romance Summary: A post episode fic for "Teliko" Rating: Like the others I'm going to call this M XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Mulder woke a short time later to find he was in a hospital room. There was warmth against his skin. With some effort, he was able to lift his hand and touch Scully's hand. He growled though when he was unable to pull her against him. The sound woke Scully. Mulder grew frustrated again. "Hey." Scully gave him a smile. She felt his forehead, making Mulder close his eyes at her touch. A soft grunt in response. "Why don't you try blinking?" she suggested. Mulder blinked once for yes. His fingers reached vainly for her hands as he tried to say her name. "It's okay," Scully said softly. "Everything's okay." Mulder barely moved his finger against her hand. Scully blinked back a tear as his skin touched hers. "Sc..." was all he could whisper. 'D*n you for not being able to tell her what you need or want. That since you came into your life, she's the only reason you breathe' he thought. "Sssh... it's okay Mulder," Scully soothed him, caressing his forehead. She leaned over him slightly to check his IV. He began to get sleepy again. She noticed this. "It's okay. Sleep." He awoke several hours later and noticed a faint feeling along his body. He moved his hand slowly to caress her face. She had fallen asleep with her head on his stomach. 'That has to be uncomfortable' Feeling his hand on her, Scully opened her eyes. But what moved her was the nurse coming to take Mulder's blood pressure. 'GO AWAY!' Mulder screamed inside his head, still unable to speak clearly. All he wanted was to be alone with Scully. He tightened his fingers around hers before she could pull away. "It's okay, Mulder," Scully soothed. "I'm right here." He clenched his other hand in anger at his body for betraying him. The nurse was replaced by the doctor on duty. He picked up Mulder's chart and looked at it. "How's he doing?" he asked Scully. Mulder grunted. He hated being left out. "Impatient. I think he wants to get out of here." Mulder rolled his eyes. Scully barely managed to stifle a grin. She cleared her throat. "He has minute motions in his hands. The IV drip seems to be working well." Mulder's middle finger went up at the doctor. Scully quickly put her hand over his. 'If you could speak right now, Mulder' He seems to be in good hands," the doctor said, smiling at Scully. "Call one of the nurses if you need anything." Then he was gone. Mulder smiled a lopsided grin because he knew he was about to get reprimanded for the "finger" incident. "Never mind smiling, Mulder," Scully scolded. "That was uncalled for." Mulder rolled his eyes a second time. Tears were managing to escape down Scully's cheeks again. "D*n", she muttered as she wiped them with the back of her hand. Mulder took her hand in his. "Sorry," he muttered as good as he could. "Keep this up, Mulder, and I'm going to be gray by the time I'm forty," Scully muttered. She gave Mulder's hand a light squeeze and went to lie down on the cot beside him. She laid down with her back to him. Mulder tried to smile and almost succeeded. Sleep tugged at his body once again. Chapter 2 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX He began to jerk a little on the bed. The visions he was seeing were horrific. He was watching the "white man" kill Scully and there was nothing he could do about it. He cried out in his sleep. Tears poured down his face. He couldn't move. Scully sat straight up in bed when she heard Mulder cry out. It took her foggy mind a few seconds to realize that it was Mulder who made the strange strangled noise. When she did, she was up and by his bedside, wiping away his tears. "Mulder, it's okay...you were dreaming," she said softly. His hand slid up and pulled her to him. "It's okay," she whispered again as her hand gently caressed his trembling muscles. His hand slid up to her face where he wiped away the tears that had spilled out of her eyes. "Let me hold you," Mulder managed to get out. "Hang on a sec." Scully shifted herself a little so she was up on the bed beside Mulder. He watched almost helpless as she wrapped his arms snugly around her. He managed to kiss her head softly as she laid her head in his chest. He sighed. She looked up at him. "You comfortable?" Mulder blinked twice for yes. He had exhausted himself with only the small amount of movement. Before she could stop herself, Scully kissed him softly. As she laid her head on his chest again, she wondered why she did that. His lips tingled where hers had just been. His hand slid up to touch them. "Scully?" he whispered. "Hm?" He wanted her to look at him. He cleared his throat. Scully couldn't resist a small smile at that. She lifted her head. "Yes, Mulder?" Mulder lifted his head and let his lips brush hers again. Now it was her turn to have tingling lips. Her eyes remained closed for a moment. then she smiled. "You better rest some more", she said softly. Mulder nodded. 'And when I next see the sun, I had better have use of my own body' Scully was unaware he could hear her sigh. "I...." she stopped again. "Don't worry. I'll still be here when you wake up." "Good," he yawned. And she was. But so were the orderlies. They were waiting to do another round of blood tests and x-rays. Mulder groaned. "I don't want to." "You have to, Agent Mulder." When the orderlies were rough with Mulder that's what got under Scully's skin. Two gruelling hours of being poked and prodded had him returned to his room achy and sore. "I just want to go home, Scully." He looked pleadingly up at her. "You be my doctor...you nurse me back to health. You are gentler." Scully glared at the orderlies when she saw the bruises that were forming on Mulder's wrists. "What do you guys think you're dealing with? A sack of potatoes?" "He was being uncooperative." "Uncooperative? He's half-paralyzed." Scully was struggling to stay calm. Mulder laid his hand on top of hers. "It's okay, Dana." What you going to do? Call the supervisor?" "I'll do one better. I'll go straight to the AMA." Mulder had to hold in a smile. She was protective of him. He liked that about her. She went to the mat for no one but him. His fingers slipped into hers and stroked her palm with her fingers. The orderlies clearly thought that Scully was serious. They slinked out of the room. She took a few cleansing breaths. Mulder tapped her hand. "Calm down." Scully gently pulled away. "I'll be right back, K?" She walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She leaned her forehead against the mirror. 'What am I getting so worked up for anyway?' When she returned, Mulder was half out of bed coming after her. "Mulder..." she gently repositioned him in the bed."You're going to hurt yourself." "I wanted to make sure you're okay." He looked up at her. "Are you?" "Yes, I'm fine. I kind of overreacted," she said softly. "I was being difficult," Mulder admitted. "Why am I not surprised?" Scully allowed herself to brush back a strand of his hair before moving to her bed again and lying down. He turned on his side. "Comfortable?" "No not really," she looked at him. "Think you can manage to drink some water?" "Only if you get back up her with me," he compromised. Scully had to admit it was more comfortable than the cot. She also managed to tell herself that it didn't mean anything. Mulder was going to forget about it the moment he was well again. Silently she reached for the water bottle and held it to his lips. He took a sip. "Seriously Scully, why can't you take me home and nurse me back to health?" 'I hate hospitals' "I know you're being serious. I'm sure they just want to make sure there's no permanent damage." 'You mean "I" don't you?' a voice in her head asked. "Do you think there is? Permanent damage I mean?" Mulder was worried now. "No. You seem to be l...recovering well." Scully bit her lip and then smiled. "Might take a few more days before everything's back, but it's looking good." Mulder let out a sigh of relief. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to." He wanted her there, but he couldn't stand the thought of keeping her from her life. "I'm sure you had plans." 'You're too beautiful to sit home alone' "Me? Plans?" Scully's eyebrow went up. Then she smiled. "You're not a burden if that's what you're worried about.'I need to be with you' she mentally added. Mulder smiled and pulled her closer to him. "Good." 'I've got you all to myself. Just how do I convince you that you need me as much as I need you?' "It'll make me feel better if I'm there," Scully admitted after a moment. "I need you," he let slip. Before Scully could respond, the doctor returned with the news that Mulder could be released into Scully's care the next morning. They just wanted to keep him one more night to make sure everything was looking as well as they thought. "I'd high five you, Scully, but right now...I'm just too damn tired." Mulder grinned at her. Don't worry about it, Mulder." She was just happy he could talk to her again...well, sort of. He did it with some difficulty. "I'll be as well-behaved as I can. I promise." Mulder knew he could be difficult and knew that Scully sometimes wanted to ring his jaws. However, her only response was to roll her eyes. "Pay back." He groaned. "Shouldn't have done that so much when I couldn't talk." Scully pulled up the blankets around his waist a little more snugly. Do you need anything?" 'YOU!' his head screamed. "I'm good." "Okay. I'm just gonna..." Scully settled against the pillows beside him. "Close my eyes for a bit." "Sleep." Mulder said more forcefully than he intended. "Okay, Daddy." She half smiled before giving in to her exhaustion. "Don't call me that," Mulder teased. Scully was already asleep however, and didn't hear him. He sighed against her hair Chapter 3 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Scully? Scully?" He was gently shaking her shoulder a few hours later. "Hm?" She was embarrassed because she had been dreaming about him. Her cheeks were slightly pink as she sat up. "I don't want you to think of me as half a man, but could you help me go to the bathroom?" "Yeah, one sec." She rubbed her eyes and sat up, trying to get her composure back. Then she pulled back the covers, momentarily staring at Mulder's legs. 'Get a grip on yourself, Dana' "Don't worry about squashing me." Scully didn't know why she said it, but it was already out." "Scully, are you calling me fat?" "Never mind..." Her blush turned darker. He touched her cheek. "I'm teasing." Scully smiled and concentrated on putting his feet down on the floor. They were half way there when he was sure his legs were going to give out on him. "I'm gonna fall." "I've got you. I promise." She tightened her arms around him and shifted him a little. They barely made it to the toilet when Mulder fell rather ungracefully onto it. Scully head onto his hand to keep him from really hurting himself. "Damn", Mulder muttered. "I hate this. I hate feeling weak around you." "Mulder..." was all Scully could say for a second. She made him look at her. "You are one of the strongest people I have ever met." "Not today." "Hey...seriously, it doesn't bother me." Scully touched his face to make sure he was seeing her eyes. "Okay?" Yeah." Now it was his turn to redden in the face. "Could you turn away or something?" He wasn't sure he could 'go" with her watching him. "I'll be outside." She closed the door behind him. She was glad he couldn't see the tears on her face. He finished a few moments later. "Scully?" "Yeah...okay." She tried to keep her voice calm. She wiped her face. He felt horrible and a shower sounded good to him, but could he ask her? "I was wondering..." "Mulder, you can ask me anything. You know that." Feeling horrible...and well sweaty. I was wondering if I could talk to you into helping me take a shower." Mulder said softly. Scully's eyes widened a moment behind the closed door. She took a breath and opened it slowly. "I could get a nurse..." Mulder continued. I'll do it." Scully sat Mulder on the toilet seat before turning on the water. She flexed her hands a couple of times under the running water to calm herself down. It didn't mean anything... "It's okay if you peek," Mulder teased. When Scully was sure she had it at a temperature where he wouldn't scald himself, she turned her attention to helping him with his gown. She had trouble with her composure when she got a good long look at his physique. She managed to calm, but not before he caught the flicker of admiration behind her eyes. He blushed again. "Now how can I talk you out of your clothes?" The pain meds were making his tongue loose "Will you be okay for a minute? Maybe you can brace yourself against the bar." Scully was thinking "Logically" about holding him up...well, for about a millisecond. Then the nurse arrived to take over for her. Mulder was disappointed and pouted as he got a bath instead of a shower. Scully on the other hand walked out of the bathroom, still chiding herself. No, kicking herself. Mulder was only saying the things he was saying because he was under pain medication. A few hours later, he was released into her care. "Scully, why are you so quiet?" "Just thinking about whether my place is more practical or yours" "Yes" Scully helped him into a wheelchair. "Are you mad at me?" "Why would I be mad? You didn't do anything wrong." "You've been distant since this morning." Scully knelt down in front of Mulder. "I didn't do it on purpose...I guess I'm just worried." "About me being at your place? If it makes you uncomfortable...I can hire a nurse...or something." "No...that part's fine," Scully said slowly. Mulder wasn't so sure she was being honest with him now. The pain medication had worm off and he had refused more. "I'm worried I'll disappoint you. That I won't be able to look after you properly." Finally Scully wrapped her arms around him whispering "I was so scared I'd lose you." "You didn't...You won't...You could never disappoint me." He kissed her forehead. "Why does it always take a mutant to make me figure this stuff out?" she murmured more to herself than to Mulder. She was unaware at first that he could hear her. "That you care about me?" Mulder needed to hear her say it. She looked him in the eye, only able to nod because she was trying to keep from crying. He squeezed her hand. "Me too." Scully slowly straightened and gave Mulder a smile. "Ready to get out of here?" "Do you even have to ask?" Mulder teased. He took her hand in his as the nurse wheeled him down to the elevator. Scully slipped back into her previous thoughts until they were out of the parking lot and Mulder had been loaded into the back of the taxi. He let her remain quiet most of the way to her apartment. "I'll try not to get in your way." The statement took Scully off-guard. Before she could answer, the taxi driver was in front of her building and they were helping Mulder into his wheelchair again. Scully paid the driver and knelt down in front of Mulder as the cab pulled away. She took a deep breath and a chance, saying what she needed to,"Mulder you're not in the way. I need you." Mulder caressed her cheek gently. "Not as much as I need you." Scully took a quivering breath in before continuing. "Which is why I really think you should take some kind of pain medication. I hate seeing you in pain." "For you, I will" Mulder let his finger touch Scully's lips and then his own. He wanted to kiss her. Then there was a downpour. Scully gasped in surprise and hastily got behind Mulder's wheelchair and pushed him up the ramp. Then she cursed under her breath when she realized she forgot her keys in the cab. By the time they found someone to let them in, they were both soaked to the skin. "Some weather we're having, ain't it?" Mulder said as he wiped water from her face. He saw that she was torn between laughing and crying. "Hey, Scully, it's okay...I won't melt." Scully wordlessly began undressing him, gently tugging at his clothes. She flexed her own shivering hands as she drove herself on with the thought that she had to take care of Mulder before she looked after herself. Mulder's teeth were chattering slightly. "What are you doing?" "What does it look like I'm doing?" Scully retorted softly as she tugged off his shirt. She walked into the bathroom for a towel and sat it on the bed before hauling the wheelchair adjacent to the bed. Then she heaved Mulder onto the bed so she had better access to his wet clothes. She found it hard not to stare as more skin was exposed. "Let me help you." Mulder tried to help her tug his sweats down, but failed miserably. "It's okay, Mulder." Scully patted his hands gently. It took some effort but he was soon in dry clothes and under the covers. Because of staying in her clothes as long as she did, Scully was chilled to the bone. She took her dry clothes into the bathroom, leaving the door open so he could still see her and she could see him. Her eyes closed against the chills as she slowly peeled her clothes off. She turned to pull of her shirt and Mulder took his opportunity to stand slowly and walk towards her. "Let me help you," he whispered in her ear. Scully's first impulse was to widen her eyes and mother him. "Are you sure you're up to walking?" She could see that his leg muscles were wobbling. "I just need to be near you." "I'll change in the bedroom instead," Scully compromised as she took Mulder by the elbow, a lump in her throat. Mulder stopped her. "Look at you. You're freezing." He helped her with her shirt. Scully relented and let him help her change. He blushed when she removed her soaked panties. He handed her silky, dry pair to her. "Pink looks good on you." Scully blushed a deep red as she pulled on sweat pants over top. "I mean it Mulder. Back to bed" she said in what she hoped was a firm voice. "Either that or the couch." "Just making an observation and I get in trouble," Mulder muttered as he slowly made his way back to the bed. "A very sweet observation," Scully granted. "And please don't make me sleep on that couch of yours..." "Don't worry, you're not sleeping on the couch." "And you aren't either...I won't hear of it." Mulder knew this was what she was thinking all along. Another smile as Scully changed the subject. "Living room then?" I just want to sleep," Mulder said with a yawn before reaching down to his legs to slowly massage them, hoping to make the pain go away. Scully sat beside his thighs and began to massage. "Maybe you should take something?" she softly suggested. Mulder nodded. "Yeah." Scully got out one of his pain pills and filled a glass of water. She supported the glass as Mulder held it to his lips. She sat the empty glass on the table and he took her hand in his. "You've really done a lot already, Scully. How can I ever repay you?" Her face softened. She didn't realize it at first, but Mulder could see in her eyes why she did it: She was in love with him. "You don't owe me anything Mulder...like I said...I...I care about you a lot. You're my best friend in the whole world." She blinked back a tear before leaning down to kiss his forehead. "Get some rest" Mulder lay back on the pillow. "Don't go," he managed in a whisper. "I won't," she promised. She half-sat, half-lay beside him on the bed and picked up the book she had been reading. "Read to me." Mulder turned to face her. "I thought you were sleepy." "I am." Mulder closed his eyes. 'I just want to hear your voice' Scully began reading from "Moby D*ck" in a soft, comforting voice as one hand stroked his hair. She stopped reading only when she could see that he was asleep. A few hours later, Mulder woke. He felt a warm body wrapped around his. He smiled and breathed in the smell of her. She was facing him and had her arm over his waist and her head nuzzled into the crook of his neck. "Mmmm...." he murmured contently. He wrapped his arms around her and gently pulled her closer. Scully hadn't intended to fall asleep. However, being in Mulder's arms was better than she had hoped. "Hey, she said softly." "Just don't move," he said softly in her ear. 'Let me hold you a little while longer. I'm sure this will be the one and only time I get to.' "What happens if I do? You'll arrest me?" Scully's eyes widened when the sentence tumbled out of her mouth. She had been dreaming about that very thing...She tried to cover it up quickly. "Did you sleep?" "Not as good as you apparently," he teased. Scully's cheeks were hot as she slowly lifted her head. Did you want to maybe try eating something?" "You wouldn't hit an injured man for any reason, would you, Scully?" he asked trying to prop up on his elbow and look down at her. "Depends on who it was and what it was for," she murmured back with a raised eyebrow, still trying to get her composure back. She pushed the images of her dream violently to the back of her mind as she began to sit up. Before she could sit up completely, his mouth was on hers in a sweet, chaste kiss. Scully's hand cupped his face lightly as she kissed him back. She shivered a little as she pulled back a bit and felt his forehead. He looked deep into her eyes. He smiled at her. "So you didn't answer my question. Did you want to try eating some soup?" "Yeah." Mulder wrinkled his brow and nose. "What kind?" "What kind do you want?" Anything but tomato." He made a face and stuck out his tongue. "Chicken?" She was desperately trying not to laugh. "That works." Mulder smiled and lay back down. "I think the medicine is making me dizzy." "Side effect." Scully helped him lay back. "Just relax. I'll go get the soup" Mulder closed his eyes and waited for her to return. In the kitchen, Scully leaned against the wall and took a few deep breaths. Mulder just about gave up on her when he heard her coming toward the bedroom. "Can you sit up?" she asked as she set the soup down. She didn't want to treat Mulder like a complete invalid, even though she remained worried about him. "Yeah. Could you help put the pillows behind my back?" Mulder hated asking for help with even the simplest of tasks. Scully leaned in and whispered in his ear, "You never have to feel bad about asking me for things...whatever you need." Then she plumped up the pillows behind him. He reached for the bowl. He tried to feed himself but his hands shook. Scully gently took the bowl from him and sat on the edge of the bed. She took up a spoonful and held it for him. He opened his mouth and took the spoonful. "Thanks," he said when he had eaten a little over half. "That enough?" "Yeah." His face went from flushed to pale. "I don't feel so good." "What's wrong? Tell me exactly." He felt emasculated in front of her already. "I'm going to puke." Scully quickly pulled the covers off and helped Mulder to his feet. They just barely made it to the toilet. He puked until there was nothing left and lay aching on the bathroom floor curled in a fetal position. Scully gently rubbed his back. For a moment, she had no idea what to do for him. She felt helpless. "Just make the pain go away, Dana. Please." "Where does it hurt?" Scully tried to remain calm. "Everywhere." "Maybe it's the meds," she said pensively. He couldn't hear her because of the pounding in his head. Scully got a damp cloth and began dabbing his forehead with it. She left Mulder for a moment to dial for an ambulance. It if was an allergic reaction, it could be serious. Chapter 4 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Mulder awoke the next day back in the hospital. "Where am I?" Frohike was by his bedside. "You had an allergic reaction to your meds so Scully brought you back to the hospital." "Where is she?" He asked trying to swallow. His mouth was dry. "Nobody's sure." "What do you mean?" Mulder was starting to get out of bed now. "Easy, Mulder. She's talking to your doctor," said Byers. The three men looked at each other. There was something different in Mulder's demeanour. "Did something happen to you two?" It was Frohike who asked. "None of your business." Mulder lay back on the bed. "That's a yes." Mulder gave them a 'shut up now or get out' look. "Guys, just knock it off, k?" Scully came in just as he said the last statement. "It's alright, guys. Thanks." She dismissed them again. "Where've you been?" Mulder hadn't meant to sound harsh. Scully's eyes momentarily flashed in defensive anger but she calmed down again. "I was looking into alternatives for your meds." Scully leaned over and adjusted the drip on Mulder's IV "I'm sorry I worried you...and that I snapped." He rubbed his fingers along her arms. She rapidly blinked to avoid crying. "How are you feeling?" she asked instead. "Better than..." Mulder had no idea how long he'd been out. "Well, I think we've got something that won't make you sick." "Yeah because I don't want to keep coming back here." "The nurse is working on your release papers right now." He took her hand. "I am really sorry, Dana." Scully managed a smile. "You didn't do anything, Mulder." "I got shot with a poisonous dart, you have to take care of me, and now I got sick and landed right back in the hospital again." Mulder was frustrated at the way his life was going at that moment. "Mulder....ssh..." Scully leaned forward and stroked his forehead. She leaned her cheek against his forehead and closed her eyes for a moment as she continued stroking. Mulder lifted her chin and lightly put his lips to her forehead. "Just don't walk out on me." "I'm never leaving you," she promised softly. Twenty minutes later, they were back at Scully's apartment. "So home sweet home," Mulder said as he walked in with her help. "Bed or couch?" "Couch." He was tired and a little out of breath. Scully gently lowered him down, propping his feet up. She began massaging his shoulders and down his thighs. He hoped she didn't see his obvious reaction to her hands on him. He pulled a pillow over his lap. "You thirsty?" "Yes," Mulder managed to choke out. "I'll just get you some water." Scully patted his knee and began to stand. "You look tired," was Mulder's observation as he watched her. "I am a little," Scully admitted as she walked into the kitchen. She tried to ignore the ache that came from not touching him. He turned slightly to watch her. "Scully?" "Yeah." She was coming back with the glass. "Sit down and relax." That's an order, he wanted to add, but didn't. A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she set the glass down on the coffee table in front of him and sat down in the arm chair. "Some TV?" It hurt when she hadn't sat beside him. "Yeah. Sure. Fine. Whatever." Scully didn't understand what she did wrong. She flipped on the TV and put it to a sci fi channel that was running old movies. "You don't have to suffer through these, Scully. Watch a love story or something." "It's okay." He smiled at the thought that she would do something like that for him. "I'll sit up if you come sit over here with me." Scully sat beside him, wrapping the blankets a little snugger around him and leaning against the couch. He tugged her head down to his lap. "You rest." Scully started to protest but her exhaustion was winning out. "Don't wanna hurt you," she muttered. "You won't," Mulder assured her. "Please?" "Kay...only if you promise you'll wake me if you need something." Scully was already falling asleep. Mulder stroked her hair gently as he watched her sleep. He could get used to this. He already had gotten used to her being there. An hour later, Scully woke up in a cold sweat. Samuel Alboa had escaped from the hospital and was in the apartment. She couldn't get to Mulder in time to save him. She didn't get a chance to tell Mulder she loved him. "Hey, it's okay. I'm here." Mulder was holding her close to him. Scully unconsciously held him a little tighter as she began to sob. Mulder held her and rocked her back and forth. "Sssh...baby...I've got you." Scully desperately tried to pull herself together, ashamed that she was crying in front of him. She tried to repeat to herself 'He's okay...he's not hurt...he's not dead...he's still here.' "Hey..." Mulder took his finger and pulled Scully's face up to his. "We don't hide things from each other." He pulled her back to him. "Just let it all out, baby." Scully sobbed a little before slowly sitting up and wiping her face. "Just let me comfort you," Mulder said running a finger up her arm. Scully let him hold her as she closed her eyes and was lulled by his heartbeat. They fell asleep in each other's arms. Early the following morning though, Scully moved to the bed. She didn't have the heart to move Mulder so she left him there. He woke and was a little disoriented. He wondered where she had gone to. He figured she was in her bed...he didn't blame her. The couch was a little uncomfortable. He followed the hallway to her room and watched her sleep. Scully heard his footfalls on the carpet and reached over to turn back the covers without turning over fully. Mulder smiled. "Always can read my mind, can't you?" "Don't know the half of it," she muttered sleepily. Mulder slipped in and spooned around her. He placed his cold feet to her warm ones. "Gaaah!" Scully yelled when she felt his cold feet. "What's the matter with you?" Mulder deadpanned. "Your feet are freezing!" Scully protested, momentarily pulling her feet away. Mulder pretended to pout and turned away from her. "Never mind pouting, Mulder." Scully's back was turned to him so he didn't see her tears. "Go back to sleep." "Sadly, I'm not sleepy anymore." Mulder turned back to her and pulled her back against him. "I want to talk.' "About what?" Slowly, Scully turned over. "You...me...this..." Scully remained silent, waiting for him to talk. "I know there is something between us, Scully...uh...I mean, Dana. I've felt it since we met." Mulder swallowed, afraid to go on. Scully smiled encouragingly. "I just need to know how you feel." "Like I can't breathe when I'm away from you," Scully whispered. Mulder's eyes locked with hers. "Yeah." Scully took a breath. "I don't expect things to change over night. I just...I just wanted you to know that I knew there was something between us too." "Slow is good." Mulder moved hair from her face. Scully swallowed hard, begging herself not to cry, but tears were forming again. "I need you." "I'm here...always and forever." Mulder kissed Scully's lips gently. "You leave me, I'll kick your ass," Scully mumbled. Mulder's eyes misted over. "I'll never leave you." Then Scully realized he was thinking about losing her. "I'm not going anywhere." She shifted tactics slightly, taking the focus off of her while being honest. "I'll follow you no matter how far." "Maybe we better get you on your feet before the travelling, huh?" she asked softly, brushing back a strand of hair. She wondered if Mulder knew what she as doing and if he would call her on it...but they were in tune with each other, so he probably would call her on it. "It won't work, Scully." "What won't work?" "Don't give me that. You know what you're doing...as do I." "What do you suggest I do instead? I'm worried about you." "Let's just take care of each other like we always do." Scully felt his forehead. "You feel like you're running a bit of a temperature." She could feel Mulder wanting to shake her or kiss her for not letting his statement sink in. "Yeah...I guess so." He moved to get up. "I'll get you a drink" Scully trailed off with a sigh, letting him go. She was so sure that at the end of this he was going to leave. Mulder stopped her once she rounded the edge of the bed. He placed his hands on her arms. "Look at me." Slowly, Scully relaxed her body and met his gaze. "What is it?" "I don't need a drink, Scully." Mulder took a deep breath. "I just need you." Okay." Scully relented after a second. She crawled back into bed beside him, intent on only responding to what he specifically wanted or needed. 'No focus on me' she verified. Mulder pulled her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her tight. He began humming a song in her ear. Then he stopped and said softly "If not for you, I'd have been out of the bureau by now. You've saved me more times than I care to count. You've kept me honest." He felt a tear hit his chest. "I'm not going anywhere," Scully said softly. "I just need you to know what you mean to me." Scully pressed a kiss to his chest. "I'm learning." "Good." Mulder placed a kiss to her forehead. Scully let herself rest her head against his chest, being lulled by his heartbeat. "Sweet dreams." Chapter 4 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The next time Mulder woke, it was later that morning. He felt the empty bed beside him and then heard the shower running. He got up slowly and made his way to the bathroom. He had to "go" and couldn't wait. He let himself in softly. "Scully, I'm using the bathroom...don't be alarmed." "Just let me know if you need help." Scully bit her lip. She was ready to get out of the shower, but with Mulder there.... "Don't mind me...I'm almost done" Mulder said as he pulled up his sweats and was making his way to the sink. Then as an afterthought "I've seen you nearly naked before." Scully had almost forgotten about that. 'There's a difference between being nearly naked and completely naked' a voice told her. "You have a beautiful body." Mulder didn't know why he added that. Scully reached out of the curtain for a towel. He handed it to her. He was right by the shower stall edge now. "Very, very beautiful." Scully opened the curtain, wrapped in a fuzzy white towel. "Morning," she greeted him with a smile. "I can get used to this...naked girl in the shower telling me good morning with a smile." He looked over at her. "As long as it's you." Scully turned beet red before gently pulling his head down to softly kiss his lips. Then she walked back to the bedroom. "You like to tease me, don't you?" Mulder followed her and pulled the towel from her body. "Now I get to see what's under those suits" He sucked in a breath as he took in her long legs and shapely curves. Scully gasped, startled at first when he pulled the towel. But after a moment, despite her pounding heart, she let him look. She relaxed her hands at her sides. "And now we're even. I've seen you...you've seen me," Mulder said as he took a step closer. Scully was getting goose bumps from standing there naked, so she sat down on the edge of the bed and opened her underwear drawer. Mulder moved between her and the drawer, slowly reaching behind him to close it. "Dana..." "Yeah?" "Am I making you uncomfortable?" "No. But I am a little cold sitting like this," Scully admitted. Mulder moved away from her. "I'll let you get dressed." His face was full of disappointment.' Maybe she doesn't see me that way'. Scully took his hand, stopping him. "It's okay. Get dressed." "Mulder...I just need you to understand it's not because I don't trust you," Scully said softly. Mulder smiled at her. "I know that." He kissed her hand. "You trust me the way I trust you...with my life." Scully remained slightly skeptical and a little disappointed even as she smiled back and resumed getting dressed. "How are you feeling? Think you're up to trying some massage therapy or aquatic therapy?" "What's aquatic therapy?" Mulder asked, puzzled. "It's the same treatment that therapists use for accident victims and sport injuries. We take you into the water and work your muscles." "I think all I need is bed rest." Mulder was feeling stronger today. "Okay." "What's for breakfast? I'm starving." Mulder's stomach seconded that observation. "Lemme see what I have. Haven't had a chance to go shopping for a while." Scully pulled on her other sock and left, finally letting the tears fall. Hurt to breathe. She sank to the floor with a choked sob. She hadn't seen or heard him follow her. He had her in his arms in a matter of seconds. "What's wrong?" He was scared she was hurting. "Don't want you to leave..." It was out before she could stop herself. "Why would I leave?" Mulder nearly cried with her. Scully tried to get a hold of herself but she was sobbing so hard she was hiccupping. She clung to his shirt. His mouth sought hers out. Her lips parted for him and they devoured each other. He pulled back slowly, placing a kiss to her chin. "Let me show you what you mean to me." She was about to protest that he was too weak, but she relented. He made love to her there on the kitchen floor. He made sure every inch of her body had been kissed and loved. He made her lose control and scream his name which caused him to lose his and he buried himself deep inside her and spilled his seed into her. He kissed her mouth as he laid his forehead against hers. "I love you." "I know. I love you too," she whispered. She could feel that his muscles were spasming from their lovemaking though and that rapidly brought her down from her high. He fought the spasms in his muscles and won, but decided to move them to the bed anyway. He stood and helped her up. "Let's go somewhere a little more soft." "I thought you wanted breakfast," Scully commented even as she let him lead her. Then she felt another spasm. She sighed softly. "Lay down." Mulder didn't argue. The pain was teeth clenching. Scully began to gently massage him. He pulled away when she reached a tender spot. He made a noise. She pulled her hands away. Mulder looked up at her. "Not you, baby...please...more." "You sure?" Mulder took her hand and kissed it. "Please?" Scully fell silent as she continued down his legs. A little while later he was feeling better. "I'm sorry I ruined our moment." "You didn't ruin anything." Scully bent over to kiss his forehead. "Get some rest." He grabbed her hand. "Making love to you wasn't what I thought it would be like." He yawned. "It was a million times better...no make that infinite times better." "I know, baby. For me too," she said softly. 'Enjoy it while it lasts...he'll be out the door "Let me hold you?" Scully smiled softly, crawling under the covers beside him. "You should try to eat something when you wake up?" "How about I nibble here?" Mulder kissed and nipped at her exposed throat. She giggled and lightly swatted him. "Wise guy" Mulder kissed her mouth tenderly. "Did I hurt you? I should've moved us to the bed, but I was afraid you'd change your mind." "You didn't hurt me." She kissed him lightly. "Trust me." "With all my heart and soul." Mulder yawned. Scully kissed his hair. "Sleep with me?' "L...of course I will." "I love you." "Love you more." Scully rolled her eyes at herself, hoping Mulder didn't' see. He laughed. "I can play that game...love you infinitely." He stuck his tongue out at her. "Watch where you put that tongue, Mister." Mulder pulled her to him and kissed her deep and long. "Was that use of tongue acceptable?" "Go to sleep Mulder," she said 'sternly' even thought he could see that she didn't mind. "Make me," he retorted. "You don't want me to do that." "It's because you can't," he teased. "Wanna bet?" "Prove it." Mulder winked at her. So she did. She manoeuvred herself so she was on top of him and began tickling mercilessly. Mulder laughed. "Not what I had in mind Dana." "Give up?" Scully still tickled. "YES!" He was trying to fight her off gently. She stopped looking very pleased with herself. "Now sleep." Mulder shook his head. "I need a kiss to sleep." "You didn't say the magic word." "Please?" Scully kissed him, a soft, lingering kiss. When it broke and she was settled beside him, he whispered, "There, now I can sleep." She rolled her eyes in mock exasperation even as she was pulled against him. "Figures..." she teased even as the thought crossed her mind that she could stay like this forever" "Never wanna leave." That made her sit up. Mulder's eyes snapped open. "What's wrong?" "Nothing. You just surprised me when you said that." Scully lay down against him again. Her voice softened. "If you don't want to go, you don't have to." Her hand stroked his chest. "You might regret saying that," Mulder said softly. "What I'd regret is letting you walk away." Scully closed her eyes against tears. "Well, you'll never have to know...because you, my dear, are stuck with me." "Good." The emotion managed to make it into her voice, however. Mulder kissed her head. She reached over to pull the blankets more snugly over him before lying beside him. "Sweet dreams." Scully couldn't help herself. "They already are" she whispered before falling asleep. Mulder held on tight, afraid this was all a dream. "Just be here when I wake up."