From alf.hellberg@swipnet.se Sun Apr 27 06:39:21 1997 Subject: The weird eyebrow thing (1/1) Philip Hellberg From: "Philip Hellberg" -------- -= The weird eyebrow thing =- by Philip Hellberg DISCLAIMER: All the characters in this story belong to CC, FOX and 1013. I'm using them without permission (what a rebel I am! :) and I do not plan to make any money on this. DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: Send and archive anywhere as long as my name is attached to it. RATING: PG for bad words and guns. :) CLASSIFICATION: SH SUMMARY: Mulder gets upset when everybody claims that he's doing something strange with his eyebrows. (It's funnier than it sounds...) :) The weird eyebrow thing --- Mulder's apartment --- Not again! Fox Mulder was once again stuck in his couch with a bunch of bad sci-fi-movies as his only company. Time: 2:31 am. His life was really boring. The only excitement he got was wrestling with genetic mutants or getting chased by killer pussycats every now and then. The only thing that made him really happy was when he found another piece of the truth, like every half year or so, and every time he did so, a bunch of lies always came with it. It was sort of a deal: You get the truth and a couple of lies, or you get nothing. How many times had he seen this movie? Hmm... was it 6 times? No... He had seen "2001" 6 times... This one he had seen 9 times. Suddenly... A sound... And it didn't come from the TV. Somebody was in the apartment, somebody who had not knocked at the door. Mulder's gun was on the table right in front of him. He slowly started reaching for it. Ahhh, excitement. Mulder was almost happy that something like this had happened, even though he knew that his life could be in danger. Anything for a little excitement. He almost had the gun, he could even feel the cold steel on the tip of his fingers, when he heard a voice behind him. "Don't move... *Mulderrrrr*" Mulder recognized the voice. "Krycek?" Mulder tried to turn around. He had to see if it really was Alex Krycek. "Don't turn around", said the unpleasant voice. Mulder didn't care what Krycek said. He turned around anyway. It was then he saw it. Krycek, that idiot, was holding the gun with his prosthesis. There was no way he could have fired it with a plastic finger hooked around the trigger. "Krycek", Mulder said. "Only you could be that stupid. I can't believe we used to be partners. Jeez..." "Hey!", Krycek responded. "My parents were russian immigrants! My childhood was everything but easy! Give me a break, ok?" "Yeah, yeah..." Mulder picked up his gun and aimed it at Krycek. That bothered Krycek a bit. "Mulder? You wouldn't shoot a handicapped man, would you?" What a stupid thing to say! Mulder really hated Krycek... He would pay for all he had done. "Krycek! You... You..." Suddenly Krycek started laughing. Had he finally gone completely mad? What sick man would laugh with a gun pointed to his face? Mulder only looked at Krycek as he started to speak. "He He... Man, you look ridiculous... He He..." "Oh yeah? Well, you're not that pretty yourself.", Mulder snapped back "It's not that Mulder... You just did this really weird thing with your eyebrows." "What are you talking about? I haven't moved my eyebrows!", Mulder responded. "There!" Krycek laughed so much he almost couldn't talk. "You did it again!" "What?", Mulder cried out. "Wait here Krycek..." Mulder left Krycek and went to the bathroom to take a look in the mirror. Nope, his eyebrows looked just as they always had done. There was nothing odd about them. He went back to where he had left Krycek only to find that he was gone. "Damn it!" Mulder sat down in his couch. Krycek had fooled him! Krycek of all people! That invertabrate scumsucker who's moral dipstick is about two drops short of bone dry! So Mulder sat down and watched a few more sci-fi-movies. --- Down in the basement. Next morning --- Scully noticed that something was wrong as Mulder came into the office. She sat in his chair and went through some old files, but looked up as he entered the room and stared to speak. "Scully... Something really weird happened last night." "Oh, what's that?", Scully asked. "Let me guess... Someone had stolen the latest issue of the adult video news." Mulder didn't laugh. He sort of twitched his mouth a bit, but he didn't laugh. He took off his suitjacket and laid it on a file cabinet. Then he told her: "No. Krycek came by." Scully looked worried. Krycek? He had to be kidding. That sounded so crazy. "Mulder, I hope you're not making this up..." "Why would I want to do that?" Mulder got a little upset. "Scully, I'm telling you! He was there, I had a gun to his head!" "But he escaped?", Scully asked. "Yes, he said I moved my eyebrows or something and I went to take a look in the mirror to see if he was telling the truth. When I came back he was gone!" "Mulder...", Scully grinned. "You're an Oxford educated man! I can't believe you didn't realize that he was just trying to fool you so he could get away!" "Well... He sounded really convincing..." Mulder got that hurt-puppy look on his face. Scully sighed, "Anyway... Skinner wants to see you." "Me? I haven't done anything! Well, at least not that I know of. I mean... I'm on my way." --- Skinner's office --- "You wanted to see me, sir." Mulder walked through the door. Skinner leaned back and scratched his chin. "Agent Mulder, thanks for coming." Mulder sat down. "The reason I asked you to come here is that..." He suddenly became silent and just looked at Mulder. Mulder stared back. None of them said anything for a few seconds, then Skinner started to smile. "Agent Mulder, pardon me for asking, but why are you moving your eyebrows like that?" Mulder felt puzzled. He hadn't done anything, had he? "Sir, I wasn't aware..." This was all so confusing. Had he really done anything? "Excuse me, sir." Mulder left the room in a hurry. As he rushed back to the basement he could hear the Assistant Director laughing in his office. --- Back in the basement --- "Scully, this is terrible! Skinner just told me that I moved my eyebrows in a strange way!" Scully looked at her partner and felt a bit worried. "Calm down Mulder, I'm sure he's just..." She paused and looked at him. "Yeah, I can see what he means, you're doing it right now." she finally said. "WHAT?" This was just too much for Mulder. He had no idea of what he was doing. If he did move his eyebrows he sure didn't do it on purpose. Maybe it was some sort of compulsive twitch. "What? What am I doing Scully? Please tell me!" "All right, just calm down." Scully smiled. Mulder couldn't believe it! His partner actually thought this was funny. Did she take some kind of bizzare pleasure in his suffering? Mulder wasn't enjoying this at all. Scully continued: "Well... You're sort of... raising your eyebrows... It looks really weird. To tell you the truth it makes you look like a madman." Mulder's mouth fell open. What the heck was all this? He just stared at Scully for a while, then he told her: "Uhhh... I don't think I can handle this... I'm gonna take the day off." "Mulder, wait! It's not that bad at all. I mean..." Mulder had already put on his suitjacket and left. --- Local supermarket, afternoon --- Mulder went through the list he had made up in his mind. Had he remembered to buy everything? Juice, sunflower seeds, pasta... Yup, that was about it... "That will be 9,65, sir." Mulder looked at the clerk. Pretty young girl, short, blonde hair, sort of cute but way to young for him. It was then he realized that the girl was looking back at him. "Sir, why are you doing that weird thing with your eyebrows?" Oh no! Had he done it again? This was something he had absolutely no control of. He turned around and it felt as if all the people in the store was looking at him, thinking: "What a sick guy". Thousands of eyes staring at him and his eyebrows. This was just too much! Mulder panicked. He left all his groceries and ran out on the street. He could heart the young clerk behind him: "Sir! You forgot to take your things with you!" --- Outside Scully's apartment, 10:13 pm. --- As soon as Mulder had gotten home he had called Scully and asked her to help him. He had to get rid of that weird eyebrow-twitch. Scully had told him that she had some stuff that Missy had given to her that might help. They'd agreed to meet at her place a few minues past ten. Mulder knocked on the door. "It's open!" Open? That was unusual. Mulder didn't give it much thought though, he just opened the door and went inside. Wow, this was not the way he was used to see Scully's apartment. Not one lamp was lit and there were candles everywere. Candels of all colors and sizes had been placed practically everywhere in the room. Scully stood in the middle of the room, wearing a white kimono. She spoke to him: "Er, I must admit that I'm not so sure about this idea myself, but it's worth a try, right?" Mulder could see in her eyes that Scully was begging for an answer. She obviously felt pretty stupid. Scully, the skeptic, who had decided to use some of her sister's old new-age stuff. "Scully, I didn't know you believed in rituals." "Uhhh, it's not a ritual... It's a sort of therapy, Mulder." "Sure. Fine. Whatever." "Ok.", Scully said. "Let's get started." The next thing Mulder knew he was lying on his back on her couch with a Scully dressed in a kimono sitting on top of him, rubbing some sort of oil onto his forehead. Then he had to drink something that tasted like a mix between tomato juice and tea and after that she poured some more oil over his face while she was sitting on top of him, making it impossible for him to move and escape the icky fluid. Then she told him to rest. Mulder woke up about two hours and a half after Scully had completed the treatment. The first thing he saw was Scully leaning over him. His vision was very blurry so he couldn't see anything at first. Then, it all became clearer. "Mulder, are you alright?" "Yeah Scully, I feel fine... Actua..." Mulder stopped in the middle of that sentence. He suddenly began to laugh and he laughed even more than Krycek had done the day before. "Mulder, what's so funny?", Scully asked. Mulder tried as hard as he could to stop laughing as he told her: "Scully, you just did the weird eyebrow thing, and you're right! It looks really weird!" -the end- Uhhh... weird huh? Hope you liked it! Please lemme know what you think about this story. Philip Hellberg: alf.hellberg@swipnet.se x x --- === --- === --- === --- === --- === --- x x ***** Philip Hellberg aka 'Pendrell' ***** x x President of 'the Pendrells' x http://members.tripod.com/~pendrells/ x x alf.hellberg@swipnet.se or x x agent.mulder@xfilesfan.com x x and yeah... trust no one... I don't