From: Amatia Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1998 23:28:54 -0500 (CDT) Subject: "Welcome Home, Roxy...Nevermind" by Amatia Title: Welcome Home, Roxy...Nevermind Author: Amatia Email: violinst@pitnet.net Rated: PG-13 for a naughty word. Category: Vignette, Humor (I hope) Archiving: Anywhere is Kewl. But please ask first for anywhere except Gossamer. Spoilers: David Duchovny's Episode of Saturday Night Live (If you've seen it, you'll recognize a lot of stuff in this.) Disclaimer: DD belongs to DD. FM and DS belong to 1013 and CC. Janet Reno belongs to Janet Reno. Paula Abdul belongs to Paula Abdul, and I don't even know if she really does have a workout video. Puff Daddy belongs to Puff Daddy. And Malibu Bubble Barbie...well, I don't want to know who she belongs to... ---- Welcome Home, Roxy...Nevermind by Amatia Fox Mulder was irritated. Very irritated. So irritated that when Scully came into the office, he stood up, walked to the trash can, and kicked it. Then, of course, it tipped over. So he stomped on it for a few minutes. Then he tripped on the damn thing and had to grab the desk to keep from falling over. "Bad day?" Scully asked wryly, struggling to keep from laughing . He harumphed and frowned at her from under the hair that had fallen onto his face. "Well, Mulder, I'm going to make it worse. Just because I know you won't stomp on me like you did that garbage can." She chuckled. He made a face at her. "All right, what is it, Scully?" he growled. "Next Saturday is the Justice Department picnic. And Skinner has mandated that *we* attend." "Aww, Scully...I *hate* that damn JD picnic!" Mulder harumphed some more. He cast a sorrowful glance at the garbage can and muttered something about how he was sorry he had flattened it already and couldn't do so now. "Why is Skinner forcing us to go??" "Well, Mulder, he's still upset that you played that Paula Abdul CD in your boom box while going down in the elevator." "It wasn't *that* loud," he grumbled. "Look on the bright side, Mulder. They serve pancakes at the picnic. And you can meet Janet Reno. Try to convince her about the UFOs and little green men." Scully was smirking openly now. "Shut up, Scully. At least *I* don't watch Celebrity Jeapordy reruns." "*I* don't own Malibu Bubble Barbie." "You're not supposed to know about that, Scully!" Scully smirked again. "Well, I do, Mulder. Whatcha gonna do about it?" Mulder stuck his tongue out at her. "I'm *not* going to that picnic." "You have to! If you don't, Skinner swears he's going to take away your entire Puff Daddy CD collection!" She gestured to the bottom drawer where Mulder kept his naughty videos *and* his loud CDs. "Noo! Not my Puff Daddy collection!" Mulder went over and jumped on the flattened trash can several more times. "It's dead, Mulder. Stop stomping on it." He stopped, his eyes catching something in her hand. He reached over and grabbed a box that stuck out of her purse. "Wow, Scully, you watch such interesting movies..." "You give that back! It's my only copy and Holly wants to borrow it!" "Holly wants to borrow your copy of "Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael?" "Yes." She sniffled. "Now give it back, Mulder!" "Or what?" "Or I'll take your Paula Abdul workout video!" He immediately handed back the tape and shuffled his feet. "Sorry." Scully stuffed it back into her purse. "We are *going* to the JD picnic. I don't care if you want to go. You're going." He whined immediately. "But, Scully, I heard that Janet Reno eats all the pancakes before anyone else gets there! She eats like sixty of them!" "I don't *care*." "Fine." Mulder pouted. "I'm going to talk to Skinner. And don't you *touch* my Puff Daddy CDs." He harmphed and practically galloped out of the office. Scully went over and looked at the flattened garbage can. Then she raised her high heeled shoe and stomped on it. But she didn't trip. --end-- I know, it was stupid and silly. But I've watched my tape of DD on SNL too many times to *not* write this. Yes, I cheered when Nick Lea came on!!