From: TeenageScully@aol.com
Date: Mon, 19 Jun 2000 17:32:17 EDT
Subject: submission- "What a pickle"
Source: direct

Title: What a Pickle
Author: Teenage Scully
Email: TeenageScully@aol.com
Rating: PG (language)
Category: MSR
Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance
Spoilers: none
Summary: Mulder finds himself in an embarrassing 
pickle related predicament and needs Scully's help.

Disclaimer: Just playing with them. I'll give them 
back as soon as I'm done.

*********What a Pickle

Sunday Noon
Dana Scully's Apartment 

	Scully was going through her weekly torture. 
That's, of course, listening to her mother explain 
why she and FOX should be a couple, over the phone. 
"Yes Mom. No Mom . . . MOM!" Her mother had a 
surprisingly dirty mouth, at least when it came to 
her daughter and Mulder. Through her mother's 
rambling she heard the beep of her call waiting. 
"Mom, I gotta . . . Mom, Mom I . . . MOM!!!" Her 
mother finally noticed she was speaking and stopped 
momentarily. "Mom, I've got another call, I gotta 
go." She quickly disconnected with her mother before 
she could say another word, thanking God for who ever 
was on the other line. "Scully."

	"It's me Scully." She quickly became concerned 
by the pitiful sound in Mulder's voice.

	"Mulder, what's wrong with you?"

	"Uh, Scully? I sorta have a problem."

	"What's wrong Mulder," Scully asked again, her 
concern growing.

	"It's embarrassing Scully, but I need your help 
with something."

	"I'm not going to help you until you tell me 
what the hell is going on!"

	"Um, well . . . my hand is stuck."

	Scully sighed. "In what?"

	"In a . . . Jesus Scully this is really 
embarrassing."

	"For Christ's sake, Mulder, talk!!"

	"Okay, my hand is stuck in a jar of pickles, 
alright! You happy now? Can you please just get over 
here and help me?"

	Sculy was trying not to laugh at him, she 
really was. However as she was about to start talking 
an odd snorting noise escaped her, which led a parade 
of restrained giggles to run free. As they subsided 
she was finally able to speak. "A jar of PICKLES?"

	"Did you just snort at me?" Mulder asked in 
total disbelief.

	"Sorry Mulder. Okay, first of all did you try 
letting go of the pickle?" Scully asked, trying hard 
to be serious, but failing miserably.

	"Scully, I'm not a total idiot. Could you 
please just get over here?"

	"I'll be right there Mulder. Don't do anything 
ELSE stupid."

	"Thanks Scully. That's SO helpful." 

	"Sorry. I'll see ya soon Mulder." She quickly 
hung up the phone, grabbed her purse, and walked out 
the door. *This is going to be an interesting day* 
she thought to herself as she got into the car and 
drove in the direction of Mulder's apartment.
 
	*	*	*	*

	Mulder heard Scully knocking at the door. 
*About time* he thought as he opened the door with 
his free hand. He could tell she was holding back 
laughter.

	When he waved her in with that jar stuck to his 
hand, she lost it. She doubled over with laughter. 
"Yeah, yeah," he said, "get in here."

	"I'm sorry Mulder, but there's still one pickle 
bouncing around in that empty jar," Scully laughed.

	"Well duh, Scully. Why would I stick my hand in 
a jar of pickles if there wasn't a pickle left in 
it?" Mulder asked sarcastically. 

	"True," she said as her laughter calmed. "But, 
Mulder. What happened to all of the pickle juice?" 
She had already noticed the stain on his once white 
t-shirt, but she wanted to hear him say it.

	"When I was trying to get the jar off I lifted 
it upside down and all the juice ran down my arm. I 
was about to change when you knocked, actually. Hold 
on a sec." He then walked over to his couch and 
removed his stained shirt, which was interesting to 
see considering the jar.

	Scully took a deep breath when he turned to 
face her, his six pack staring at her. *Partners, 
partners, partners, partners* she chanted in her 
mind. She then became aware that Mulder was speaking 
to her.

	"Scully, you okay? You look sorta weird," 
Mulder said with a concerned, yet amused voice.

	"I'm fine Mulder. So, you going to put a shirt 
on or what?" Scully said, quickly regaining her 
composure.

	"Which would you prefer?" Mulder was grinning 
widely at Scully's apparent reaction to his bare 
chest. Scully picked up his clean shirt off a nearby 
chair and thew it at him, hitting him square in the 
chest.

	"Get dressed, Mulder." Good God she wanted him 
to stay shirtless, but she knew he was just teasing 
her. She watched him struggle to put the shirt on; 
finding it to be incredibly difficult with one hand 
incased in a jar. Somehow he managed to end up with 
both arms where they should be, be his head was 
stuck.

	"Scully, little help?" As if it wasn't 
embarrassing enough to have a jar of pickles stuck on 
his hand, now he needed her help getting dressed. He 
couldn't actually see her face but he knew she was 
grinning.

	She stepped up close to him and helped his head 
through his shirt. When his head was free Scully 
looked him in the eyes and said, "Better, Mulder?" 
She didn't back away immediately. She pulled his 
shirt down the rest of the way so it covered all of 
him. She let her fingers linger for a moment on his 
lean stomach before backing away quickly.

	"Thanks," he said quietly with a huge smile on 
his face. 

"So Mulder are we going to get that jar off 
your hand or not?" she asked, suddenly remembering 
why she was there.                                                         
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                    

*	*	*	*

Well, their first attempt failed miserably, but 
it was and interesting sight. First, Mulder sat down 
on his couch, legs slightly spread apart. Next Scully 
stood in front of him, put one foot on the edge of 
the couch (positioned between his legs), and held 
onto Mulder's wrist and the pickle jar. Then he 
leaned back and she pushed his wrist away from her 
and pulled on the jar. This of course simply ended 
with her falling on her ass and Mulder hysterically 
laughing at her. Thank God they had thought to move 
the coffee table before this painful attempt. "Yeah, 
laugh it up, jackass. You gonna help me up or what?"

Mulder grinned and extended his free hand. He 
pulled her to her feet and smiled wider when he heard 
her mumble a 'thanks'. "Well what now?"

Their next attempt also failed, but not for the 
lack of a good idea. The general premise was simple 
and one would think it would work, but no . . . that 
would be too easy. They moved into the kitchen and 
Scully rummaged through near empty cabinets. She was 
overjoyed to discover half a can of Crysco, you know, 
it's that weird white stuff you use sometimes when 
you cook.

Scully took Mulder's imprisoned hand and 
covered his hand and the top of the jar with the 
Crysco. They then resumed their previous pulling 
position. This time, however, Scully laid a couple of 
pillows where she had taken her previous plummit. She 
pulled, he leaned, and she could have sworn it had 
begun to budge until she began to fall again. Just 
prior to when she would have hit the ground, she felt 
Mulder's free arm snake around her waist and she was 
pulled onto the couch, landing right against his 
side. 

"Thanks, Mulder," she mumbled with a smile. 
"Okay, now what? I'm running out of ideas."

"Dish soap?" she asked hopefully.

"Hmmm . . . dish soap might work," she agreed 
and went off into the kitchen to search for some. 
This of course would be the third, and messiest 
attempt.

Tearing apart Mulder's kitchen, they finally 
found a near empty bottle of Price Chopper brand dish 
soap.

"Think that's enough?" Mulder asked as he 
tilted the bottle so all the liquid was in one 
corner. Not much left.

"Better be," Scully said as she snatched the 
bottle from his hand. She squeezed the remains onto 
his wrist and gently spread the thick liquid around 
his wrist and the jar. Instead of resuming their 
regular pulling position, Scully gently massaged 
Mulder's wrist for a minute or so. The she tried 
turning the jar clockwise around his wrist. So far so 
good. Then she tried pulling on the jar, forgetting 
that her hands were also covered in the soap. She 
slipped and started to fall backwards, instinctively 
grabbing hold of Mulder's shirt for support. This 
however only resulted in them both falling to the 
linoleum floor. Mulder attempted to stop himself from 
crashing into Scully, but instead ended up smashing 
the jar, sending shards of broken glass sliding 
flying, and a lone pickle skittering across the 
floor.

"Mulder! Are you okay?" Scully asked, worried 
that he had been cut.

"I'm fine, Scully. What about you?"

"I'm okay. But Mulder?"

"Yeah?"

"You can get off me now." Mulder immediately 
jumped to his feet. He took Scully's hand and helped 
her up. Once on her feet she immediately examined his 
hand for cuts. "You're lucky, Mulder. You could have 
really hurt your hand. You didn't even get a 
scratch."

She flinched when Mulder's hand gently touched 
the side of her face. "You weren't so lucky." He 
showed her his finger, which was streaked with a 
small amount of her blood.

"Is it bad?" she asked, completely surprised. 
She hadn't felt a thing.

"Nah, I got most of it. It's just a little 
scratch." Mulder smiled as he realized how close they 
were standing. Scully hadn't moved away yet and he 
was backed up against the counter.

"If it was that easy we should have just 
smashed the jar in the first place," Scully said with 
a laugh.

"Now where's the fun in that, Scully?" They 
were both giggling at this point untill Scully also 
became aware of their close proximity.

"So, Mulder, is there any blood left on my 
face?"

"Just a little, right there . . ." Mulder 
lifted his hand and gently dabbed at the remaining 
blood.

"Ouch," she said softly.

"Sorry Scully." Mulder slowly leaned closer to 
her and tenderly kissed the cut. Scully felt a shiver 
run down her spine followed immediately by the 
craving to feel his lips against hers. Mulder slowly 
moved his lips away from her cheek and looked into 
her eyes. He was overjoyed by the intense desire he 
found there. He silently asked her if she was sure 
and she responded by initiating their first kiss. It 
was everything it should have been. It began gentle, 
with lips just brushing against each other. Slowly it 
turned into a long, deep, passionate, hands roaming 
kiss. When they finally parted, gasping for air, 
Scully was the one to break the silence.

"You should probably sweep up that glass, 
Mulder,"

"Probably should." Neither one of them moved. 
The looked into each other's eyes and spoke 
simultaneously.

"We'll do it later."

~~~~~~~~~~~The End~~~~~~~~~~

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