From: miranda119@juno.com
Date: Wed, 8 Jan 2003 02:25:18 GMT
Subject: What Do I Do Now?    by Miranda
Source: direct

Title:  What Do I Do Now?
Author:  Miranda
Rating:  G
Category:  VR
Summary:  Post episode. (The Truth)  Mulder reflects.
Disclaimer:  Characters are Chris Carter's.



How beautiful.  How beautiful this journey that is called life.  A
woven tapestry of grief and elation, of tragedy and triumph.  The sum
of all my hopes and prayers and the final tally of all my mistakes and
regrets. 

I did not join the human race to minimize my share of tragedy.  I did
not set off on this journey in pursuit of the basic needs every man
yearns for, such as a successful career, a good woman who loves him
and offspring to carry on his name and heritage.

So how did I end up with it?  Was it fate?  Was it the hand of God?

Who directed the steps of Dana Scully as she found her way into my
office all those many years ago?  What made her stay more than thirty
seconds?  What made her believe in me, when everyone else thought I
was a fool?

I know that I didn't do anything to win her or woo her.  To my own
shame, I never did much for her other than to use her or ignore her. 
I did not treat her the way a man treats a woman in order to cause her
to love him.  So why do I see that look in her eyes?  That look that
should only be entitled to a man who has given her the benefit of his
honor and his devotion.  That look that says she would unquestionably
follow me to the ends of the earth for the rest of her days, if only I
allow it.  Why do I own the privilege of the love of this unbelievable
woman who is here beside me, by some miracle?

And now that her love is mine, and her essence has been united with my
own to create another life who sleeps somewhere else this night, now
that we are one....

What in the world am I supposed to do with her now?  
~