From: "Voet" Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2000 20:04:38 +0100 Subject: New story Source: direct Title: What does your heart say now? (1/1) Author: Tanja E-mail: voet@tanja-myrna.demon.nl Rating: PG Spoilers: Never Again Keywords: Mulder/Scully thoughts, MSR Summary: sequel to When we don't talk. It's time to break down the walls.... Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully aren't mine, they belong to CC, 1013 and Fox Network. The title is from the song "What does your heart say now?" from Ilse de Lange. Author's notes: Okay here's the sequel. With thanks to the people who asked for one. I hope everybody likes it and I promise this one does have a happy ending :) Melina, thanks for the suggestion. Joey thanks so much for the beta-reading and for co-writing oh and for the suggestion for that contest :)! What does your heart say now? (1/1) - Mulder - We lost the fight. The fight against the walls we build between us. We tried, but it seemed as if every word that left our mouth was another one to hurt each other. Words that made the walls higher, instead of breaking them down. After all the time we've know each other, we've become strangers. Strangers, reaching in the dark, not able to reach each other. It hurts to see what has become of us. We both didn't want to give into what was happening, but in the end you felt you had no choice, you had to leave. You transferred back to Quantico, out of my life, which is where we're now. Alone, hurt and still not able to find the way back to each other. - Scully - I left. For weeks we tried. Tried to break down walls. Walls invisible to see, but which we know are present. You can't fight the invisible, it's an unequal fight, lost before you begin. We both didn't want to give in, both tried to ignore the facts, convincing ourselves, that one day we would wake up and everything would be alright again. Play the ostrich, what you can't see isn't there. But in the end one of us had to make the choice for the other. I waited long, hoping that you would make the choice for me, but you didn't. You couldn't, I know why, it's the same reason that made me wait so long. A reason called hope. It's not wrong to hope, but sometimes it's too late. Now we're on our own again. You're still working on the X-files, I'm back at Quantico. I know it's better like this, but why does it have to hurt so much? - Mulder - I saw you today, the first time in weeks. I was on my way to a meeting with Skinner, when you passed me in the hall. You saw me, it was as if you looked right through me. I saw the look in your eyes, an empty look. Your eyes have lost their shine and it scares me. What are we doing? Why are we doing this to each other? I wanted to stop you, talk to you, take you in my arms and tell you that everything's going to be alright again, but instead I just walked further, looking around one last time, to see you walk away. - Scully - Today we saw each other again. I came from a meeting, I knew there was a chance that I would see you, but when it actually happened I wasn't prepared. We looked at each other. I saw the emotions running over your face. For a moment I thought you were going to say something, but the moment passed and we walked away from each other. I didn't look back, I couldn't, because I knew you were. I know we're still fighting our feelings, but I also know that there'll come a day, when we won't be able to fight them anymore. That's the day that we will be able to break down the walls. I just hope that day will come soon. - Mulder - It was a morning just like all others. I wasn't doing anything different than usual, but one thing was different. I suddenly realized I couldn't go on like this, that I had to talk to you, I had to make things right. Don't ask me why now. One moment I was working, the other moment the feeling was there. The feelings have been there before, but I was able to fight them back, to resist the urge to run to you. This time I knew I couldn't let it pass. The time has come to break down some walls. - Scully - You were there, all out of nothing. The moment I opened the door I knew the day had come. We didn't speak, just looked at each other, mesmerized. Words unsaid, spoken in silent communication. Minutes passed, before we started to move closer. Hands touching, the door slowly opening. Eyes connecting, the walls starting to break down, when we kiss for the first time. When we stop something has changed. We're still there, but we've let our guards down. And while we look at each other, I know they won't come back again. - Mulder - It's early in the morning when I wake up. I realize something's different. Something has changed. For a moment I don't know what, until I open my eyes and see you lying in my arms. Sleeping, a smile on your face. And I know what has changed. Yesterday we kept a safer distance We walked a borderline that seemed so clear We crossed that line last night It vanished with the morning light Now I wanna know, where do we go from here Last night we were able to break down the walls, to talk again. We were finally able to reach each other again. But what's going to happen when we wake up today, what are we going to do know. Where do we go from here? What does your heart say now Now that we've touched, now that we've kissed What does your heart say now Is it the same or has something changed Now that we've left our guards down I just want to know, what does your heart say now Last night we said things one soul to another In ways that spoken words could not express No room was left for doubt But I don't know where I stand now Don't leave me in the dark Don't make me guess You stir, slowly opening your eyes, trying to fight the sleep. For one moment you're wondering what's different, when you realize, a smile spreading over your face. Still half asleep you move your arms closer around me, mumbling "I love you", falling asleep again before you can hear my answer. No more guessing, no more reaching in the dark. We've finally found our way back. And realizing that, I fall asleep again with a smile on my face. The End Is this a happy ending? I hope so, feedback welcome at voet@tanja-myrna.demon.nl