From: Gillian Scully Date: Mon, 27 May 2002 18:17:54 -0400 (EDT) Subject: Fan fiction Source: direct Title: What have I done? Author: Starbuckmsr Feedback: It is welcomed at ahabs_lil_girl@hotmail.com Rating: G Spoilers: William Keywords: none Summary: Scully reflects on what she just did, and wonders if she really did make the right decision for both her and William Disclaimer: I do not own William, Scully nor Mulder, they belong to Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox. ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ What have I done? I let him go I had him but I let him go. I had him in my arms, but I let him go. What have I done? He was ours, no one else's I gave birth to him, I fed him, I changed him, I loved him. I lost him forever. I'll never have him in my life again. Mulder wasn't even here to say good bye. I hate my self, I hate what I have done to him. Yes I know that I could never protect him but what if they come off him there. They wouldn't now what to do. They would panic, they would give him to them and he will be come like Jeffery Spencer. What have I done to him? Have I made that worse decision of my life and his, what if I were wrong to give him up, what he when he gets older and wants to find me and then he does what do I say to him? I couldn't take care of you? Hell I could fit him for life if I really wanted to. I look at the pictures we took together before with all of us together, we look so happy there I wish I could take it all back and live it all over again with Mulder only in our lives. With William and Mulder out of danger and me as well. I can remember when I first brought him home with us, when Mulder kissed me I never wanted to leave that moment in time I wanted it to stay that way, forever. I look back know at when we first met. I knew that from the start that I loved him and that he loved me. I even gave him his first child. I wish that we could all be together again but it's impossible, for if William did ever come back to me and Mulder came back as well we could never see each other we would always be running for our lives, William wouldn't know what a real family is like he would think that ever one runs all the time, trying to be safe. Know that I think about it I will miss my baby boy so much and that I'll never forget him, I'll only be a person he will meet once or twice in his life. Mulder he will never know, he will never have any memories about him or what he was like, he will only remember his family he is with now. So after writing about what I feel and how I feel about the decision that I have made I hate my self and wished that I never made it, but I have and for that I lost my family that I will ever know as my own. ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ The end