From: "Angela Foss" Date: Thu, 06 Jul 2000 14:16:52 EDT Subject: When You Believe by spirit1013 Source: direct Title: When You Believe Author: spirit1013 Rated: PG Category: VAR (kinda) Spoilers: none Keywords: UST/MSR Summary: "I don't regret a minute and I wouldn't change a moment for all the world, because I believe in you." Disclaimer: The X-Files and all of it's characters belong to Fox, 1013 Productions and Chris Carter. Archive: anywhere except Gossamer (I will submit there myself). Notes: This burst of romanticism came upon me right after I saw "Anna and the King," (great movie, btw) but the words came from a conversation that I had with my mother about the choices that we make and how they affect other people. Thanks Mom. Thanks also to Kristy for her wonderful help, and the encouragement to finally post something. (And for sticking by me in Gym class ) Feedback: (please please please!)would be greatly appreciated (and a reply guaranteed!) You can e-mail me at spirit1013@hotmail.com. "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. Although they go forth weeping, bearing precious seed, they shall come back rejoicing, carrying their sheaves." Psalms 126:5-6 When You Believe "Do you believe, Scully?" "Mulder, you know..." she began, quieting as he brought his finger to her lips. "No, Scully. Do you *believe*. Believe in fate, karma, that our actions are directed toward some higher purpose?" he whispered. "I want to believe. To have that faith, the faith that drives you so hard to find the truth, but I don't. I believe that we all make our own choices, I believe in my ability to make those choices. I believe in the truth. I believe in my family. I, I believe in you," Her voice wavered as she looked up at him. He turned to face her, tense with his unsaid pain and guilt. Forcing his eyes to hers, he almost cried at the depth and passion he saw. Slowly, he reached out to her. With his body and his gaze he drew her close and felt her begin to cry against his shoulder. He held her as she slipped her arms around him, as he began to cry with her, as they cried their frustration, and as he drew a breath and leaped into his pain. With words that she never wanted to hear, but that he couldn't seem to exist without. "I'm sorry, Scully." "Sorry for what?" she sniffed, her voice still shuddering. "For..." He sighed, knitting his brow in frustration. "For ruining your life, your dreams. For destroying your faith in our government and the people around us. For costing you the family and children that you want so much. For the death of your sister. For Emily. For the pain that I caused you, for your pain and sorrow and my part in it." She closed her eyes, and drew a breath, finally releasing it in a voice that wavered with more tears as yet unshed. She looked at him, her eyes brimming and her lips parted. "It's not your fault Mulder, not any of it. They were my choices. They might have been good, they might have been bad, but they were mine. You never forced me into this, and I never regretted a minute that I spent with you." She stopped to take a breath, barely controlling the tears in her voice, and forced him to meet her eyes. To look at her, within her. "And don't ever tell me that you would change it to save me. I don't regret a minute and I wouldn't change a moment for all the world, because I believe in you. In your strength and faith and passion." They stayed locked in each others' gaze, as the distance between them subtly nudged closer together, their eyes closing only as their lips opened and met in quiet passion. When they parted, their breaths were deep and fast. He drew her back into his arms, cradling her with his body, her arms around his neck as she whispered with a breathy, tearful smile, "Do you believe, Mulder?"