From: Xgrl@aol.com Date: Sat, 14 Apr 2001 03:18:44 EDT Subject: Where we go from here Source: direct Title: Where We Go From Here Rating: Pg-13/R adult language, situations, and oh yeah, there's a little bit of sex stuff. :) Category: MSR, Myth Arc, Attempted humor, little bit of angst, but nothing to cry over. Spoilers: Through Season 8 Summary: Scully and Mulder must deal with their new lives, and the baby that's on the way. Disclaimer: they're not mine. Not any of 'em, and I don't need a lawsuit to remind me. Distribution: anywhere, just let me know, or else I'll hunt you down and I'll- Oops, Sorry about that, I forgot my pill. lol (j/k, I don't take pills- anymore, lol j/k-again) Feedback: you can email me at: Xgrl@aol.com. this is my first, so please, only nice stuff, I don't think my self esteem could handle the bashing. Author's notes: This is the first time that I've really sat down and written fan fiction. I wrote something once, but I forgot where I put the notebook. lol. so I'm calling this "my first time". Where We Go From Here by Virtue ************************* I still can't believe it's true. Even as I see myself in the mirror, with this belly, I still can't believe that I've been given such a gift. I've gotten so big in the past few months. All of a sudden, a belly just started to pop up, and now I look like I've swallowed a watermelon. I've never been happier in my life about looking so fat. Just recently, I've been able to enjoy my pregnancy. With Mulder still missing, and buried for all those months, all I could think about was him. I couldn't think about myself and this baby. He was every thought, every breath that I took. Now that I have him back, we can both enjoy what we've given to each other. As I stroke my belly in it's 8th month ,while sitting next to a sleeping Mulder on my couch, I smile, confidant in knowing that I have Our child resting in my abdomen. I lean over, and find Mulder's hand, and place it on my stomach, whispering to the baby, "This is daddy." I place my hand next to his, and whisper again, "This is mommy." I lace my hands with Mulder's and I begin to feel sleepy. I'll just rest my eyes for a bit, this is so comfortable. I didn't know how long I was sleeping for, but I find myself alone, and in bed, with a blanket draped easily over me. There's an indent in the empty spot on the bed, and I know that Mulder was laying there. I get up slowly. This baby is hard for me to carry. I sweep away the long hairs that have fallen before my eyes and I wonder where Mulder is. "Mulder? Are you still here?" I call this out from my bedroom, as I try and get up from my all too comfortable bed. Mulder answers quickly, and I realize, with that wonderful smell floating around the apartment, that he's in the kitchen cooking. "Yeah, I'm still here. I decided to cook us some dinner. I dont feel like chinese take out again." Were still talking to each other from across rooms until I reach the kitchen and see Mulder, in the apron that my mom got me last Christmas, that is all frills and a wretched shade of pink. Mulder knows what a joke he looks like, and when he sees me put my hand to my mouth to hide my smile he starts to pose, and walk around the kitchen like he's wearing a million bucks. "You like it? I know I look stunning, you don't need to tell me." he laughs, and motions for me to come over to taste the sauce. As I cross the kitchen, I can see the mess that he's made. There are noodles here and there, puddles of water all over the counter. There's sauce all over the stove, and the water is starting to boil over. Leave it to Mulder to turn my house into a pig stye after only three weeks. I taste the sauce, and it's excellent. "Where's the can?" I ask him in a nonchalant voice, smiling as I take away the spoon to taste another spoonful. "What, you don't think that I can make this from scratch? I just so happen to have an Italian aunt who taught me how to make the very sauce that you are so happily eating up." He smiles at me, standing up straighter to show how proud he is of himself. He thinks that he can fool me, but I know better than that. So I just give him a look that he knows all too well. He raises his hands in surrender. "Ok, it's that Classico stuff. How'd you know it's not my sauce?" He looks at me with a concerned face, and his forehead crinkles, and he's wearing a smile that I know is reserved only for me. I've never wanted to kiss him more than I do right now when he's making that face. I reach out and I put a hand to his cheek and all I can do is laugh, and walk back to my bedroom for more comfortable clothes. ****************************** Scully is the most beautiful pregnant woman I've ever seen. All I can do is look at her, and know that I've never loved her more than I do now. All I can do is thank God, or Allah, or whoever it is up there for giving me the chance to live this life. I've been given a second chance, and I don't want to ruin it wasting time. This is my last chance, and I'm going to make it count. She's let her hair grow longer. It's just past her shoulders, and she's never looked so beautiful. She's constantly aglow - I didn't think that pregnant women really did glow. I guess she's proof of that now. In her eighth month, she's waddling around and she's nicer now than I've ever known her to be. The pregnancy has been so good to her. I'm still in shock that this has come true for her; for us. I never told her, but I've wanted children for a while now. When she asked me, I was in shock. I needed the week to think it over. Even as the answer popped into my mind in those first moments, I knew that I couldn't give her my answer right away. I knew that she needed the time too. So as I watch her waddle away to her bedroom, all I want to do is tell her that I love her. ****************************** "God damn Mulder, this is good" Scully has a mouth full of spaghetti. She's smiling through the bites that she's taking. Mulder chuckles as he sees the sauce that's found a home on the exposed flesh just above Scully's breasts, and on her chin. Her appetite appeared suddenly when Mulder 'came back.' She knew that it wasn't healthy for herself or the baby to be eating the way that she was. When Mulder got better, she could focus on the baby more, and treat herself the way that she wanted to. Now all she does is eat and caress her stomach contentedly as she watches way too much TV. "I'm glad that you can appreciate my cooking. Do you want some more? There's plenty more." Mulder starts to get up, but Scully motions for him to sit back down. "Mulder, you've hardly eaten anything yourself. Just sit down and eat. Stop worrying about me, I'm fine." Scully wipes her mouth and exhales. She's starting to get full, so she only takes a few more bites before she gives up, and pushes her plate away. Mulder leans towards her, and wipes the sauce from her chest with his napkin. "You're messy when you're hungry." He chuckles as he throws the paper napkin into the garbage and misses. Scully just sits back and watches him as he gets up to put his napkin in the garbage. He can feel her eyes on him, and even though he knows that it shouldn't make him uncomfortable, he can't help but fidget under her gaze. "So, do you want to rent a movie, or do you just want to watch TV?" He asks her with the hope that she'll ask him to stay the whole night. He's been coming over and leaving for the past three weeks. He's thinking of just moving in, he's over so much anyway. She leans back in her chair and starts to unconsciously stroke her stomach while she thinks about what she wants to do this evening. "How about...you go home and pack a bag." She stops stroking her stomach, and looks at Mulder with a smile. "Mulder, you practically live here, you might as well stay for a while." Scully says this with a smile on her face, and she decides that she has to use the bathroom, again. She gets up and puts her hand on Mulder's shoulder for leverage. As she walks away to the bathroom, Mulder decides that he should go now to pack his bag, and on the way back, he'll stop by Blockbuster. He's at the door with his keys when he hears the toilet flush, and he can see Scully emerging from the bathroom. "Scully, I'll be back in about an hour. I'm gonna go home and pack a few things, then I'm gonna stop by Blockbuster to rent us some videos. Is there anything that you want to see?" He's halfway though the door, when she finally answers him. "Yeah, get Alice in Wonderland. I love that movie." She laughs when she sees that face he makes in reaction to her request. "You got it. I'll be back before you know it." He leaves quickly, for a reason that he's not really sure about. All he can think about is getting back. ****************************** God, Mulder is the sweetest man on earth, I'm sure of it. She laughs at herself when she really thinks about that thought. She stands in the door of her kitchen, observing the damage that Mulder made, just over an hour ago. "What a pig." She says it to herself, not finishing the sentence the way she'd like to. A pig, yes, but he's my pig. Just as she's starting to load her dishwasher, Mulder comes back inside, and he has a duffle bag in one hand, and a bag with two movies in the other. Oh no. What did he rent? I walk over to him and take the duffle bag from him without a word, and I walk - more like waddle, to my bedroom to put his bag down next to the bed. I can sense his shock, when I come back, and he's still in the same spot that he was in when I left to put his bag down. So I look at him with a playful smile on my face, and ask him, "What Mulder? Don't act like you're surprised. Anyway, my couch is too small for you. I've seen you on it. Your legs hang over the edge, and the cushions are too hard for your back. My bed's nice and soft. You remember." I look up at him with a smile, and reach for the bag. "So what'd you get? Mulder, Caddyshack- again? We've already seen this." I look at him, as I hold up the video like it's a piece of evidence. He comes towards me, and swipes the movie from my hand, and plunks down on my couch. He looks at the cover, and smiles at it happily when he states that "CaddyShack is a classic American Comedy. It should be watched at every opportunity possible." He looks over at me, now that I've taken a seat next to him, and we start to laugh. I push him lightly on the shoulder with my hand, and ask him "When did you become so hilarious, or is it that I'm just tired, and everything is funny to me when I'm exhausted?" He looks me over, and he states very matter-of-factly, "No, I've always been this hilarious, you just never seemed to notice." He Puts his arm around me, and gives me a little hug before he gets back up to put in Caddyshack. When he sits down next to me, he puts his arm around me, and we melt together on the couch. ************************** I've never been so happy to have Scully in my arms than right now. I still can't believe that only a month ago, I was a dead man. If not for Scully and Jeremiah, I would have stayed dead. I owe her more than my devotion. She deserves to feel loved and wanted. I know that I'm truly in love with her, and it's not because I feel like I owe her, or feel guilty. For the first time in my life, I feel truly in love with another person. With the two other women that I thought that I was in love with, I know now that the love that I thought I felt for them was nothing but superficial lust. With Scully, I can feel everything. I feel lust, I feel love, I feel adoration, I can feel it all. I know now that I'm in love with her, and that I will always love her. I don't remember when I feel asleep, or when Scully did for that matter. I haven't moved much from my original seating, but Scully seems to have gotten a lot more comfortable. I find her head in my lap, and she has her left arm wrapped around my thigh like it's a pillow. Her right hand is at it's usual position on her belly, and she has her little feet up from the ground, and she's resting easy. I think I can even hear a little snore come out of her. I accidentally move, as her head moves, and rubs against my lap. I can't help but move, as she's rubbing her head above my crotch. I start to wake her, so that I can take her to her bed, but she just mumbles about not wanting to watch Caddyshack again, and she takes a firmer hold on my thigh, and rubs her cheek against the growing erection in my jeans. "Scully. Dana, wake up, you can't sleep on the couch. Let's go to bed." I'm trying to be as gentle as I can as I try to nudge her awake. She's not having any of it, so after a minute or two or maneuvering, I get myself out of her grasp, and she's laying on the couch alone with a smile on her face as she sleeps. I decide that I can either wake her up, and have her yell at me, or, I can carry her to her room, and possibly put my back out in the process. I'll take my chances with carrying her, I really don't feel like sleeping on her couch. Scully may be a small woman, but with an eight month bulge, she might as well be made of lead. I thought that she would wake up after the first couple of minutes of maneuvering, but she proved me wrong, and stayed asleep the WHOLE time. I finally got her into my arms, and all that was left was getting her to her room without dropping her. Her apartment seems so much bigger now that I'm trying to get this lead filled Dana Scully to her bed. I almost drop her once, but I find my balance, AND her room. As I walk into her room, I can see my bag at the foot of the bed. I carefully lay Scully down on her bed, and then I think to myself, 'How the hell am I gonna get her under the covers?' As I turn from the bed, Scully suddenly grabs me by my shirt, and she has this remarkable look of love on her face. "I want you to sleep in here. With me." She's just above a whisper, and all I can do is nod, and walk to the other side of the bed to get into bed. "Aren't you gonna take off your pants?" She starts to laugh, as she looks at me trying to get into bed with jeans. "Well...yeah." I laugh the whole time I take my pants off, and throw my T-shirt across her room. I jump into her bed in my boxers, and I grab Scully, and hug her tightly, as we laugh, and I tickle her with my hands. "Aren't you gonna change? Where's that big moomoo that you like to wear to bed?" I love teasing her about her moomoo. It's black, and it has purple frogs embroidered on it. "Shut up Mulder. I'm comfortable in this. Anyway, I don't feel like getting up for the muumuu. I'm staying in my sweat pants." Scully knows what I'm thinking, but I know that we can't make love when she's so close to her due date. I wouldn't want to do anything to put this baby in danger. Even if it is for our own pleasure. So now we just lay here in bed, facing each other, and touching each other, without saying a word. She's so amazing. She's looking at me with nothing but love in her eyes. I've never seen that in her eyes until the day that she told me (more like showed me) that she's pregnant, and that I'm going to be a father. All I could do was blink, until I saw that look in her eyes. I knew at that moment lying in my hospital bed that she loved me. Truly loved me. I never knew what love was until that moment. After I could let the news process, and I could look at her belly without my jaw dropping, I took her hand in mine, and told her that I loved her, and that miracles do happen. Miracles happen everyday, and our child and our love are just two of those miracles. Flash forward seven weeks, and I'm here laying in bed with a very pregnant Scully, and I'm falling asleep as she strokes the hair at the nape of my neck. "I love you Scully." I fall asleep just as I hear her say "I-" It feels like I've been asleep for mere moments, and all I want to do is sleep, but when Scully shakes me to wake up, I tell her to go back to sleep, and that we'll talk about it in the morning. "Mulder! Mulder, wake up. I'm in labor God-dammit!" As soon as I hear that unfamiliar panic in her voice, I sit up straight as an arrow in the bed, and I rush over to her side, and I touch her stomach, as if there's something there that shouldn't be. I'm staring at her, and she's staring right back. We're both so frightened. We knew that this day had to come, we just didn't know that it would be like this. She finally gets into her doctor mode, and slowly removes my hand so that she can get by me. With a new calm in her voice, she begins to talk again, but she's hunched over a chair clutching her belly when she speaks. "Mulder, I need you to call Skinner, and Doggett. They have a place just outside of town where I'm going to give birth. I need you to make that phone call. Oh God." She's breathing heavier now, and it's as if my legs have turned into lead. Finally my brain starts functioning again, and I go to the bedside table where I speed dial Skinner. "Hello?" Skinner sounds like he was in a good sleep. "Skinner. She's, She's in labor. She said that you and Agent Doggett have a place for her outside of town. How do I get there?" "Whoa, slow down Mulder. Scully's in labor? Can you tell me how far the contractions are apart?" He sounds so calm, I envy him for that. "Scully, how far are the contractions apart?" I'm surprised to have her so close me. I didn't even hear her come up next to me. She reaches for the phone, and I willingly give it to her. "Skinner. Yeah. Ugh huh. About 17 minutes. Yeah, I know. I know. Thank you. Yeah, ok. We'll be waiting." She hangs up the phone, and she moves to sit on the bed. I can tell that she's in a lot of pain, because her forehead is still in that wrinkled state of concentration. I sit down next to her gingerly, and I put my hand on her back. As I lean in to ask her what Skinner said, she answers me before I can even ask. "They'll be here in 5 minutes. I have my bag packed, and my gun's loaded." She looks up at me, and gives me one of those tight-lipped smiles. "The facility: is it far from here? I remember you telling me about going somewhere else, but you never did elaborate on where this place it." She only has about ten minutes until the next contraction, so I'm trying not to ask too many hard questions. Her breathing is a little more controlled, but she knows that it's coming. "Its...on the outskirts of Georgetown. It's a small....office space. It's clean. The boys went...there about four weeks ago, and they got it all....cleaned up, and got the necessary equipment. Oh God, Mulder. They're getting closer." She wasn't expecting that contraction, and she scrambles to find my hand, and she gives me a death grip before it passes, and she's left hunched over with sweat on her brow. There's a knock on the door, and I can hear Skinner's voice and Agent Doggett's just behind the door. "Mulder...Scully? Are you guys there?" Skinner sounds a little paniced. I move closer to Scully, and I pull her to her feet, and she moans in pain as she straightens up. I whisper into her ear, "C'mon Scully. Let's get out of here. It'll be over soon enough, we just have to hold that baby in right now." "Mulder shut up. I'm not an invalid, I'm in labor." She starts to laugh at her own joke, and I know that she's trying with all her heart not be scared. Skinner's knocking is persistent, and I have to say something before he breaks the door down. "Skinner, everything's ok. We'll be out the door in just a second." I'm saying this from across the room, as I scramble to get Scully's bag, and hurry to return to her side, so that she doesn't collapse. She's still got a grip on her abdomen, and she's walking a little faster, as she's trying to reach the door on her own. I rush to her side, and I help her walk. I know that she hates it when I'm like this, but I just hope that her current situation is the exception. "Scully, how are you doing? Are the contractions getting closer? Do we have everything that we need? I'm not forgetting anything, am I?" I don't even realize that I'm talking seventy miles an hour, but with the look that Scully's giving me, I shut up real quick. "Mulder, just open the door for me. Skinner and Doggett must be going out of their minds wondering what's taking us so long." I open the door quickly to find Skinner and Doggett standing patiently for the both of us, but I can see the nervousness behind their patient masks. Skinner moves forward to help Scully walk, and I've never seen him so genuinely worried before. "Scully, you know that the facility is at least a half hour from here. With it being so late at night, I'm sure that we can get there in at least fifteen." He has a hand on her back, and he's hunching over so that he can see her face as he speaks to her in a tone of voice that I didn't know he possessed. He sounds so soothing. It's as if he's done this a million times, and Scully's just another woman that's in labor. I turn to see Agent Doggett, standing next to me waiting for instructions. Too bad I don't have any. I don't have any idea what I'm doing. Scully and Skinner are running the show, and I'm clueless as to what to do. ************************** All I can think of is how bad this hurts, and I how I wish I could just rip something off of the walls. We got to the facility quicker than I thought possible. Skinner is the exact person that you want to have in an emergency. He got all of us here in 15 minutes, and it's usually a 35 minute drive out of town. I know they're all scared. I'm scared too. I don't know what's living inside of me, and all I can do is pray to God that the child inside of me is mine and Mulder's. They're all here. Mulder, Skinner, Doggett, The Lone Gunmen. The only one that I don't want here is my mother. I'm just so scared about the safety of the baby, that going to a conventional hospital is absolutely out of the question. Now that I'm lying here on this table, with Skinner as my mid-wife, I realize that I'm terrified, and that I stopped pushing. "Scully! Scully, you have to push!" Skinner has a hint of panic in his voice, and now that I open my eyes, I can see Mulder's hand holding mine, and I can hear him now, encouraging me. "C'mon Scully. Just a little more, the baby'll start to crown. I know you can do this. Please, just a little more." He's so scared. I can see it in his eyes as he stares back at me. "Oh God. Please, I can't do this. It hurts too much. Oh God!!" I can feel myself being ripped apart. I never knew that pain could be like this. All I want right now, is for this baby to be out of me. "Scully, the baby's crowning, I just need two more pushes from you. C'mon, I know you can do it!" Skinner's yelling at me to push, and he sounds like a God-damn drill sergeant. I'm not in the Marines, Skinner!! Mulder, moves closer to me, and our grips tighten, as I push my final push. I hear a baby cry, and all I can do is lay my head back in exhaustion and extreme relief. Mulder comes and whispers into my ear, "You have a little girl, Scully. A little girl." I can hear the emotion in his voice, and all I can do is smile up at him. Skinner comes a few minutes later, with the baby wrapped and cleaned. As he puts her on my chest, he tells me with the biggest smile I've ever seen him wear, "It's a girl." He looks at me, and I can see the tears beginning in his eyes. I reach out for him, and I take him into my arms, careful not to squash the baby. I whisper into his ear something that he needs to know. "Without you, I don't know what I would do. Thank you." I give him a kiss on the cheek as he nods his head, and turns to leave the room. Mulder is still at my side, and I look at him with the biggest smile I can manage. He has tears running down his face, and I know that I can't hold them in for much longer either. We don't talk for a few minutes. We just sit and watch the baby cry, and snuggle up against my chest. She's the ugliest, most beautiful baby I've ever seen. Finally, as Mulder is stroking her little baby cheek, I say something. "She's our little girl. Ours." I look at him, and he doesn't hesitate, as he leans forward and takes me into an embrace that we haven't experienced since he was in the hospital. When he was brought back to me, for the second time. The baby starts to cry, so we break contact, but not before he can look me in the eyes and tell me how he feels. "I love you Scully, and I always will. You know that. I want to be her father. I want us to be an "Us." What do you say?" He looked so sincere when he said that. I can see the love in his eyes as he said every word. I have no words, so all I can do is look down at the baby and back up at him, while I smile, and cry in joy, all at the same time. "Oh Mulder. I love you. WE love you. I-I don't want you to leave. Not ever." God, I've never felt as alive as I do right now. I know that Mulder must feel like shitting his pants, because, not once in our 7 some odd years have I ever been so honest. I don't care though. I've decided that I'm not going to waste my time anymore. I lived my life for so long behind these walls I've constructed. When we buried Mulder, and then I got him back, I knew then that I couldn't lose him again. ****************************** I just about shit my pants right now when Scully said that she-they love me. She's never been so honest with me. She must feel the same exact thing as I am. She knows how close we got to losing each other, and she doesn't want to take another chance on our love. I honestly don't know what to say to her, so all I can do is smile, and try my best to hug her without squishing the baby. I break our hug and move back to my seat next to her. She's touching the baby like she still can't believe it's true. She takes the blanket off of the baby, and she lays her across her stomach, so that she can count every finger, every toe, and every little wrinkle. The baby squirms, and even cries a little, as Scully gentle caresses her stomach, and runs her hands over her arms and legs. Scully's eyes begin to well up again, and before she can cry, she gently wraps the baby up, and brings her to her chest for what may be the most beautiful embrace I've ever seen. Scully has her eyes closed for a few moments before they open and fix on me, watching her. She lifts her arm, and she motions for me to get up. "Hold her Mulder." She's just above a whisper, when she tells me to hold the baby. I hesitate at first. I haven't held a baby since- well, I've never held a baby, to tell the truth. "Scully, I'm not sure. I mean, I've never held a baby. I don't know where to put my hands." I raise my hands, and shrug my shoulders as I smile at her. "Mulder, it's okay. Just keep one hand on her butt, and the other one holds her head. C'mon, I know you can do it. Please just hold her." She starts to reach out with the baby in her arms, and I'm still scared, but I take her anyway. I'm stunned by how light she is. She's so tiny, and so beautiful. I think I've just fallen in love again. I think I've been looking at her for too long, because Scully interrupts my gaze, with a question. "What do we want to name her? She needs a name." She looks at me with a smile on her face, and she motions me to move closer to her. The bed that she's lying in looks like it could fit the 3 of us, so I lower the bar with one hand, give Scully the baby, and I lay next to her. She looks a little surprised but by the time I have an arm around her, my head resting against her shoulder, and I'm gently petting the baby, she's comfortable again. Smiling too. "Elise." She surprises me when she speaks, but I finally register what she's talking about, and I my response is quick. "Beautiful. It's Hebrew, isn't it?" "Yes. It means "God's oath." I couldn't think of a more appropriate name for her." She leans her head down so that her mouth is gently resting atop of my head. I smile at the contact. "It's official then. Elise. She needs two more names, you know." I'm stroking the baby as I speak. I can't keep my eyes off of her. I guess I'm scared that if I stop touching her, or even blink my eyes, she wont be there when I open my eyes, or if I stop touching her, she'll disappear. She's our miracle. I've never felt so happy in all my life as I do right now. "Elise for now. We can wait on the other two. All she needs now is a first name." Scully's stroking my head, and it feels like I could just fall asleep in her arms right now. I take that back. The baby starts to cry, and I think I know why. I look at Scully, and we're thinking the same thing. She blushes at first, but then she rolls her eyes, and starts to unbutton the top of her dress. The baby wont stop crying, but as soon as Scully puts Elise to her breast all you can hear is her quiet suckling, and Scully's occasional gasp, as the baby takes more insistent suckles at her breast. Finally, she falls asleep at Scully's breast, and as Scully takes a grateful exhale, I reach for a tissue that she can use to clean herself up with. I'm laying next to her, and I'm amazed by her. She's so beautiful as she holds Elise in her arms, and rocks her into an even deeper sleep. She feels me watching her, and smiles with a slight blush in her cheeks. "What Mulder? It's impolite to stare, you know." She has a smile on her face, and she's radiant. "You're beautiful." I'm just over a whisper, and I reach out and take her face in both of my hands, and I kiss her. I kiss her without intention. I kiss her with only the message that I love her. I don't want her to think that my love is with only one- dimension. My love for her is the only thing that I have known for a long time. I want her to know that. I break the kiss, and I keep my hands on her face, and I whisper to her, " I love you, Scully. I always will." My eyes never leave hers. She's looking at me, and she's smiling with tears in her eyes. "As do I." Her words are above a whisper, and when she says it, her lips barely move, and I can tell that she's barely awake. I sweep my hand over her eyes, and I begin to stroke her hair, and I move her to lay more comfortably on my chest. She falls asleep with Elise still sleeping on her chest. I begin to feel tired myself, and I cover us up a little better before falling asleep with Scully on my chest, and the baby on hers. *************************** 18 Months Later *************************** I never knew that being a mother could ever be this much work. Elise (we call her Elle) has been talking for a month now. All I hear around here is "Dada poop. Mama poop." She only knows those three words, and she's driving me insane. I love it. "MAMA!" She's laughing hysterically and calling my name as she and Mulder come inside from going to the grocery store. "Hi, Elle. Give mama big hug. I missed you so much." She gives the best hugs. The only thing she needs to get better at is letting go. I start laughing when I see Mulder come in with his arms full of groceries, and almost tripping on one of Elle's shoes. I grab a bag from him, and give him a promising kiss on the lips. Too bad Elle had to interrupt by biting my leg. "Elise. Honey, no biting." Mulder and I exchange looks and laugh as she looks up at us, and starts laughing that laugh that only babies have. I pick her up, and give her a kiss on the cheek, and she gives me one back. "Well, thank you miss. That was just what I needed." She loves when I talk to her like that, and she smiles at me, showing me all of her cute little pearly whites. Her hands come to cup my face, and she brings us nose to nose. She loves doing this. She closes her eyes, and kisses my nose. She thinks it's hilarious, because she throws herself backwards laughing. This kid is all laughs. She may take after me, with her blue eyes, and red hair, but she definitely has Mulder's sense of humor, because I know it's not mine. She has his mouth though; plump and full, and always at a pout. She has his sensitivity. She cracks anytime we raise our voices to her, and when she cries, I can see Mulder in her eyes. Mulder's putting away all of the groceries, and he's watching the two of us at the same time. All he can do is smile, as he watches the two of us. He adores Elise. I tell him not to spoil her so much, but he says that "When she gives me 'The pout," I crumble like a ton of bricks." I believe him, because she does the same thing to me. Finally, I put Elle down, so that she can walk around, and help with the groceries. I look over at Mulder, who has a box of Raisinettes in his hand. I walk over to him with my hands on my hips, ready to steal the box. "Mulder...you know that those are my favorite candy. Wanna share?" I'm trying to be as nice as possible, but what does he do? "No." He smiles at me, and puts the box to his mouth, and shakes half the contents of the into his mouth. "Muuul-der!" I slap his stomach, and laugh with him as I fight him for the box. "Scully, I don't think that Raisinettes are any good for that diet that you're on. These things have a lot of calories, you know." He tries to trick me, but I know what to get him with. "I can always work the calories off later tonite. In bed." I lower my voice an octave, and I have my mouth to his ear as I whisper my promise into his ear. He's standing still now, with his arm still outstretched. Too easy. I kiss his cheek quickly, then snag the box from his hand. Elle comes up to me after coming back into the kitchen from the living room. She has her hands out-stretched when she sees the candy. "You want some Elle? Here, but no more. Not until dinner. Ok?" I'm on my knees, eye-level with her, and she nods her head in understanding as she takes the handful I gave her, and puts into the pocket of her little baby Levi's. She leaves the living room to sit on the floor in the living room to watch the Discovery Channel. She loves watching anything to do with water. She loves the water. She's never been afraid to put her head under water, or take a bath, or even watching those specials on sharks. She loves it all. I smile as I watch her sit there, with her neck craned, and she isn't moving at all. She's just watching that T.V. like nothing else exists. I turn back to Mulder, and he has a second box of Raisnettes. I walk over to him, and I slap his chest playfully. "You jerk. Why didn't you tell me you bought two?" "Cuz I wanted you to fight with me. I would've told you, but you started to beat me up. I was fighting for my life, so I couldn't really do much talking." He's smiling now, and he purposefully put chocolate on his teeth, so when he's smiling, he looks like he hasn't brushed in about a decade. We're laughing now, and I move over towards him, and he takes me into his arms for the embrace that I've been waiting all day for. I put my head against his chest, and I can hear his heart beating, and I can feel each breath he takes, and I can pick up the faint smell of Mulder, behind the fabric softener that we use. He's rubbing his hands on my back, and he's kissing the top of my head. He's so relaxing. He's my therapy. "You seem a little tense. Was everything ok at work?" His voice is muffled because his mouth is still pressed against my hair. I wrap my arms around him more, and I rub my cheek against his chest. "No, everything was fine. I just had a long day. There's nothing worse than the beginning of this class. I had at least a dozen people vomit today. One girl almost didn't make it to the bathroom. So what about you? Did you have a lot of patients today?" I'm looking up at him now, but I still haven't broken our contact. I would touch Mulder forever if I could. He looks back down at me, and he smiles before leaning in for a long kiss. He's always been good at kissing. He knows when to do what, and how much to do it. His lips start to move over mine, and I realize that he's going to start talking. He starts talking as he kisses my neck, and my face. "My day...neck...was uneventful...collarbone...they were all...behind my ear...short sessions...cheek...You know, boring stuff." He's back at my neck, and I whisper my reply. "I know exactly what you're talking about." I can barely breath now, as he takes my bottom lip between his lips, and he gently bites it, and soothes it with his tongue, and a kiss. I have my hands around his neck now, and I'm pressing myself suggestively against his growing erection. His hands, however, seem to be everywhere. He has a hand on the small of my back, and at times, there's another hand snaking up my shirt, to caress my breasts, and tease my already hardened nipples between his finger tips. Just as my hands move to his rear to push him against me, there comes a sound. "MAMA! DADA!" She sounds excited, but maybe even a little irritated. I'm sure that we ignored her in our little make-out escapade. Mulder and I break apart, laughing. "I think she knows what she's doing. She's torturing us on purpose." Mulder and I are laughing at his theory as we walk into the living room, only to have our jaws hit the ground as we see what Elle's so excited about. There's dirt everywhere. The flower pot that once contained five yellow tulips is just about empty. She has the Tulips standing upright on the carpet, with piles of dirt surrounding each. She looks happy about "replanting" my Tulips in the carpet, and as she's pointing and smiling at her accomplishments, Mulder runs towards her, and swoops her up into his arms. She giggling like crazy, and we're laughing along with her. I let out a tired sigh as I lean down to start picking up the Tulips and the dirt from carpet. Mulder immediately sets Elle down, and gets eye level with her so that he can give her a "talk." In his calmest voice possible, he starts. "Now Elise, you know better than to get the house dirty like this. Mama told you about getting the house dirty. Daddy told you too, remember?" She shakes her head solemnly, and she looks back up at Mulder when he begins again. "So I want you to help Mama clean up, ok?" Mulder looks over to me, as I'm looking at the two of them. He smiles back at me, and then he turns Elise around to me, and gives her a head start with a pat on her diapered bottom. "Mama." She puts a Tulip to my nose and insists that I smell it. I smile, and I tell her that, "Ooh, Elle, that smells nice." She smiles and puts the flower to her nose, and inhales deeply. When she opens her eyes, she smiles at me, then quickly gets up. "Dada! Dada!" I see her running into the kitchen, and as Mulder bends down to talk to her, she swats the Tulip on his nose, and smiles. "She wants you to smell it, Mulder," I tell him from the living room. He looks at me with a smile, as he inhales, and rubs his nose at the same time. After he takes a whiff, and tells her how wonderful it is, she comes running back to me laughing, as she clutches my neck in an embrace. "Ok Elle, lets go wash our hands. We don't want to have dirty hands when we eat dinner, do we?" She shakes her head, and takes my hand as we walk to the bathroom to get washed up before dinner. ******************************* After eighteen months, I'm still living in awe of them. I still can't believe that I'm a father. I've never been happier in all of my life. As I watch them walk off to the bathroom, Scully looks back at me and she mouths the words 'I love you.' I wink at her, and she smiles at me as she turns around to open the bathroom door. It's my turn to make dinner. I have Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. So with it being Thursday, I'm gonna make Elle's favorite: mashed potatoes and meat loaf. I'm almost done with the potatoes, and the meat loaf has only ten more minutes left in the oven. Elle comes running back into the kitchen laughing, and she runs up to me, and hugs my leg. She looks up at me, and the look says it all. I pick her up, and she hugs my neck, and kisses my cheek. "Silly girl. You hungry? Daddy made your favorite." She shakes her head, and she knows what I'm talking about, so her little face perks up, and she smiles at me. I can see so much of Scully in her when she smiles. Scully walks into the kitchen, and takes Elle from me, so that she can change her diaper. Scully looks at Elle, and she bounces her a little bit in her arms. "Oooh, Elle, you're stinky. Let's go get that diaper changed." Scully laughs as they begin to walk off to Elle's room. Scully turns around quickly to ask me about dinner. "Is dinner almost ready? I'm famished." She has a smile on her face, and as the two of them look at me, they look so perfect. I'm almost at a loss for words. "Yeah, just give it about five more minutes. Go and change the baby, and when you get back, it'll all be ready,ok?" "Ok." She's smiling, and as she turns around, she winks at me, and lets out a soft laugh as Elle puts her nose up to Scully's and she smiles, and laughs. The buzzer on the oven goes off, and it startles me from the fixed gaze that I had on them as they walked the hallway. I look into the oven, and it looks like Elle's gonna love this one. ************************************ "Mulder! Mulder wake up, God dammit! She's gone! Elise is gone!" I'm shaking the hell out of Mulder, and finally he wakes up, and he looks terrified. Maybe because I am too. "What? Someone took her? Have you called anyone?" He's out of bed now, and he's heading towards her room. Maybe he's hoping she'll be in there. When he gets to her crib, and he sees that she's gone, he turns around and takes me into his arms. We both start sobbing, and we continue until we hear a knock on the door. Skinner. I slip out of Mulder's arms to open the door for Skinner. I gasp when I see him. He's bleeding from a cut in his lip, and from the top of his head. I rush him through the door, and sit him in a kitchen chair. "Skinner, what happened to you. Who did this?" I'm already examining his wounds, and I've gotten the first aid kit out before he can open his mouth. "Krycek. The bastard attacked me. When you called me and told me about the baby, I knew that it was him. I know exactly what he wants too. He told me to tell you. He wants to make a deal, Scully." He looks so concerned, and even a little pissed off. I finish up his bandages, and I crouch between his legs, so that I can look him better in the eyes. Mulder comes in the kitchen just in time to hear the news. "He wants both of you. They want both of you. You work for them, you can have Elise back. I know that they want more though. You know how these people work. It can't be this easy. It just can't be." Skinner's shaking his head, and as I get up, Mulder and I look up at each other, and in unison, we speak. "Where do we need to be?" ******************************** This is it. I don't care what I have to do, as long as I get Elise back safely. Scully knows this too. She knows that Elise is worth more than our lives. Were about an hour out of Washington, and for some reason, Skinner had to blindfold us. He's taking us to them. They're all waiting. They know what we're going to say. They know that Elise is our Achilles heel, and we'll give anything to have her back. The car stops. Scully's hand grips mine tighter, and I know that she's scared. "Mulder, Scully. You can take the blindfolds off. We're here." Skinner is looking back at us from the front seat, and he has this concentrated look on his face, like he's been planning something since Scully called him an hour and a half ago. As we sit there in cold, tense silence, Scully gets out of the car, and walks to the front where she stands with her arms folded, waiting for the directions. ************************** I got out of the car because I thought I was going to be sick. Just the thought of those bastard sons of bitches with my child, makes me sick. I knew from the beginning that there were going to be some dangers, but after the first year, I thought that they just decided to leave us alone to live our lives. I mean, The X Files have been shut down, I'm teaching again at Quantico, and Mulder has his own private psychology practice. I just want to be left alone. No more of this running in the shadows crap. No more truth seeking. I just want to live my life with Mulder and my daughter. Is that really so much to ask for? "Scully. We have to go now. She's this way." Mulder steers me away with his gentle words, and the three of us start to walk to a motel room that is on the far corner of the building. Scully and I sneak scared glances at each other as Skinner leads the way. We come up to the hotel room door. I can hear her inside. She's laughing. This makes me even more angry, but I'm relieved at the same time. Angry that those bastards have won her trust, and relieved that she's ok. Mulder and I exchange looks, then we look at Skinner, who is about to knock on the door. Mulder grabs my hand, and gives it a squeeze. I squeeze his hand back, and we let go. Skinner knocks on the door, and it opens quickly. Krycek. The bastard is all smiles, and he invites us in after he and another man pat Mulder and Skinner down for the weapons that they might be carrying. I try to walk past them to Elise, but they stop me before I can reach her. They find the gun that I'm hiding on my back, and finally after a small struggle, they let me go to Elise. "Mama." She seems happy to see me, and I pick her up, and hold her tightly to my chest. I didn't know what my reaction would be when I found her, but I start to cry almost immediately as I stroke her hair, and she lays her head on my shoulder. Mulder comes up to us, and he takes the two of us into his arms. He doesn't cry at first. All he can do is whisper "Thank God," over and over again. After a few moments, I can feel the tears hit my hand, and as he lifts his head, he look me right in the eyes, and I know exaclty what he's thinking. *********************** I shot three rounds into each of them. As soon as Scully went into the bathroom with Elise, I took out the gun that I was hiding from them, and I just let go. Skinner didn't know what the hell was going on. Scully and I had planned it out though. They didn't even see it coming. Krycek had his back to me, and he was watching Scully take the baby into the bathroom. The other man was standing stupidly by the motel door. I shot Krycek first. The first three shots were easy, and he went down faster than I thought he would. The nameless man came after me, but Skinner jumped on top of him, and I shot him. Two in the head, and one in his face, so that he couldn't be identifed. I know that it all sounds so horrific, and disgustingly wrong of us, but it was our only choice. We got out of the hotel room quickly, before the police could even be called. This was a crime heavy place, and shots fired were not that uncommon. **************************** I can still hardly believe that We just killed two men. One who never really deserved to be living, and the other-he was unknown to me. When Elise heard the shots, she was startled, and she put her face in my neck. She looked so scared, she wouldn' let go. She started to cry, and she kept saying "Mama, Mama." She wouldn't stop. I didn't know exaclty what was going on out there. I could only hope that Mulder was the one holding the gun. When Mulder opened the door to the bathroom, Elise and I were sitting in the bathtub, and I had her head clutched in my hands. She was still crying, and I was trying to get her to stop. I was rocking her back and forth, and whispering in her ear. She was barely starting to calm down when Mulder came in. He looked scared. He had blood splattered all over his jacket, and his face. The gun was still in his hand, and he was shaking. "Let's get out of here." So we left. Before anyone could even call the police. We were gone. **************************** One Month Later **************************** I hate coming in for these checkups. It's so uncomfortable. Even more so when you have a hungry kid sitting on your lap, who just got off the bottle, and wants food. Real food. "Mama, hungry." She's being dramatic. She gives a big sigh, and falls against me. I tickle her, and she starts to laugh. The doctor opens the door, and looks right at me. "We're ready for you Mrs. Mulder." He smiles at me, and Elle and I get up to follow the doctor down his bright hallway, where we'll wait for another half-hour to get a shot and a sticker. The stickers are the best part. End. 1/1 **************************** Notes: I didn't know where to end this, so I figured I can always do a sequel. If you think so, let me know. Thanks for sticking with me till the end, it means a lot to my shippy little heart. :) ****************************