From: junebug@cybercomm.net (Junebug) Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: New: Where were you Date: 17 Apr 1996 00:05:01 GMT Note: a really inspiring story, or rather a really high rated tissue story, put me in the mood for this one. This one is a tissue warning, um I'll go with 2. It is also another one of my song inspired works. The song is _Where Were You_ by Clay Walker off _H ypnotize The Moon_. I like to dedicate this little piece to Mystic, I hope Mystic, you know why. (G). Oh yeah, no one dies. But there are some deep feelings here! Disclaimer: I don't own Scully or Mulder, shucks!! They are owned by the guy with the double initials, the company with the birthday fetish and the company with the furry animal fetish. Title: Where were you Rating:PG Part: 1/1 MST ********************************************** I used to wake up nights Callin' out your name Then I'd cry myself back to sleep Knowing I'd only dreamed I stayed inside for days Trapped within my mind Wonderin' where you had gone Convinced I could not go on Now just when I started feeling Those hands of time start to healing You're here at my door Saying your new dreams Have led you back to me (chorus) Where were you When I was going crazy Where were you Did you know what your leavin' Put me through you were feeling lost, last thing I knew you went off to find yourself where were you I can't pretend I'm strong Or act like I don't care But I won't betray my heart Now that we're come this far I let you go 'cause I had to I'll close this door 'cause I need to This tunnel has a light It's not that far away It's brighter every day Repeat Chorus ********************************** Like the lyrics of a ballad, the sound of thunder rolled. Bolts slashed the night's sky, slicing the heavy clouds with its lance of light. Gutted, the clouds released their torment of rain against the unprotected earth. Beyond the windows, nature's aw esome fury battled as the rain cleansed. Yet tears, often the symbol of rain, couldn't cleanse the pain. Pain slit her apart, like the victim that she was. Even his name, whispered in the dark, whispered in hope, couldn't stop the dreams. Dreams of yesterday, tomorrow, dreams that wouldn't abate. Spring passed by, summer faded into autumn. Winter's wind blew its cold breath across the earth's face. The cold wasn't needed, she had already frozen inside. Staying inside for days, trapped. Trapped inside her own mind, wondering where he had gone. Was he alive, was he safe, was he loved? Would he remember, did he want to forget, did he find what he was looking for? Work, once her joy and fear. Now nothing but an imitation of life. Something to occupy her body, her mind already gone. Could she go on? She wasn't convinced she could. Feeling, a non existent touch, returns to slowly remind her. Time, the miracle medicine. It heals, mending more than just physical. When she had though maybe, just maybe, she can go on. He returns. He brings his new dreams. New ones that lead back to her. ********************************** Soaked, he stood in her doorway. The night's rain, pooling at his feet like so many dreams of hers. The blue shirt clinging to his broad shoulders, shoulders she had once needed to hold her. Jeans, clung to him with moisture like her lips once dreamed to. But his eyes, they spoke of tomorrow and filled her with fear. Silently, Scully pulled the door wider in an unspoken command to enter. Quietly she allowed Mulder to enter. Shivering as the cold he brought with him, seeped through the only thing she kept of him.. Cold of the night, and something more, crawled up h er arms to wrap themselves around Scully as she stood in his shirt. "Scully, I....", Mulder tried. His back to the small woman, as he stood within her apartment. Turning, he faced her and tried again. "I've come home". Hope filled his eyes, hope in his new dreams. His new dreams with her. Scully lifted her face to the ceiling, seeking strength. The storm inside her raged, building in power and fury. The tears threatened to fall in unison with the storm outside. It was words that struck out like lighting, scorching the one before her. Their sound rivaling the thunder that filled the small room. Eyes blazed, leaping to ignite her body, as the fire of Scully's pain spread to Mulder. They burned him, as her words enflamed the air, "Where were you, when I was going crazy.....where were you!" No time to allow him to quench her fires, Dana gave no ne as she continued, "Did you know what your leavin' put me through!" Mulder tried to step closer, using his body to halt the fury she threw at him. "I needed to...", he began but failed. Failed in the light of her reminder. "You were feeling lost, last thing I knew", she told him with eyes glistening. "You went off to find yourself.............where were you". The fire was gone. Only the flame of her hair burned, as it brushed Scully's shoulders. Shoulders that now hung in defeat. ********************* She couldn't pretend she was strong. Strength had gotten her this far, she wasn't about to turn back now. Nor could she pretend like she didn't care. She did, deep down she always would. Yet, she couldn't betray her heart, not when they've come this far. Past partners, past friends even beyond lovers. The distance they've traveled was immeasurable. One that even time couldn't touch. No, she wouldn't measure it anymore. She'd let him go because she had to. Let him seek, not the truth but himself. His own soul, the one she too found. Deep beneath the loneliness, the tears, and somewhere beyond the pain. Closing the door was the hardest. Yet she did it, cause she needed to. The tunnel has a light, it's not that far away. She'd seen it. It was beyond the pain, it saved her from the dark. Its brightness getting brighter every day, the brightness that allowed her to feel life. ******************** "Where were you, when I was going crazy? Where were you?", he whispered in echo. Pain surpassed Scully's, as Mulder recited her words. Words that his memory would rewind and play, continuously, as long as he lived. "Did you know what my leaving put me through?" He asked, knowing the answer. Knowing hell wasn't her domain alone. "I was feeling lost, last thing I knew", Mulder said as defeat filled him. Defeat of a chance they would never get. A chance that two souls can only have once. The click of the door, was the nails filling the coffin of his soul. The closing door, killing all that Mulder ever dreamed. Standing outside Dana's apartment, in a whisper Mulder asked, "I went off to find myself.......... where were you?" Then like the time before, he left. Left knowing, this time he would never find himself. Not when all that was him was lost, lost to the woman who held his soul, behind the door that she shut against his dreams. ************************************** end -- ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ LGW #13, M&Ser, EPer, X-File, The Spirit Is The Truth Knightie & Trekker I John 5:07 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^junebug@raven.cybercom.com