From: Katsy1121 Date: 20 Jun 1999 03:46:29 GMT Subject: NEW: While He Sleeps (part1 of 2) by Divine Title: While He Sleeps Author: Divine (aka Katsy) Email: Katsy1121@aol.com Archive: sure, anywhere, just tell me where so I can visit Spoiler: none Category: Vigenette and fluff from Scully's POV Summary: Scully begins to tell Mulder things he'd never know about while he sleeps Disclaimer: Don't own em, sorry. His high gnarliness does, and so does 1013 and FOX. I'm too tired to think up a witty disclaimer, so please bear with me. Author's Note: Once again, we find ourselves in the land of fluff where bad writing resides along with some inaccurate Scully portrayal. I'm trying, I really am. ;) Feedbacks, boxes of chocolate, yada, yada, greatly appreciated at Katsy1121@aol.com ********************** While He Sleeps by Divine ********************** God, I hate hospitals. With every fiber of my being, I hate hospitals. Never mind that sickening disinfectant smell that invades your nostril every time you inhale, never mind that the nurses aren't always that helpful. It's the symbolism it holds for me that makes me want to jump off a tall building every time I think of that smell. Which is ironic, really, because I'm a medical doctor. But every time I enter one, I can't help but wonder whether I'm there just to take my partner home, or whether I'm there to say goodbye to him forever. He has been in and out since I've worked with him so much that the ER doctors have reserved a room just for him. Sometimes I wish I hadn't rebelled against my parents and joined the FBI but that thought always leaves my mind as soon as I see my partner smile that sheepish "I'm sorry, Scully, for getting my ass kicked" grin. And I know he'll be okay. He's here again, sleeping. It's a gunshot wound this time, a clean shot, no vital organs taken along for the ride. I told him not to go in without me but he never listens. No matter how many times this man can be capable of taking bullets in his body, the worry that rushes through me as soon as I hear the phone ringing and telling me that he's in a hospital is something I will never get used to. One day I'm going to ask him to take me off his next of kin list, because I don't think I can handle losing him. But there are some things you have to accept- and I have to realize that one day, Mulder is not going to be able to smile that crooked grin of his and apologize for ditching me again because I'm going to have to be the one that goes down those stairs and identify his body. I just thank God that today was not that day. " Relax, Scully, let me not remind you that it was you who shot me once before, and *that* hurt, this, this is a piece of cake..aughh, wait," he groaned earlier after getting out of surgery," maybe not.." Even with a hole in his right shoulder, the man can still crack jokes. Unbelievable. **************** due to an incredebly sucky computer, this 3 paged story is in two parts End of 1\2 ^ ^ >{o.o}< kat XFW # 914 "And then one day, when my mind was wandering, wandering, looking for a purpose....I found you."- Mulder to Scully "All Hallow's Eve I" note: quote is from a great fanfic I read..not an actual ep. From katsy1121@aol.com Fri Aug 13 17:04:05 1999 Date: 20 Jun 1999 03:50:20 GMT From: Katsy1121 Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: While He Sleeps (part2 of 2) by Divine **************** Part2 \2 see disclaimers in Part 1 ******************* So now, I'm right beside him, taking my usual place, waiting for him to stir awake and ask for some ice tea. This has become routine, maybe too routine for my liking. I have to keep reminding myself that I am far from being his mother and that I have no authority to tell him what to do, but I can't help myself. All my worries just seem like nagging. That's why I usually take this time to talk to him, to tell him of things I would never tell him if he was awake, it's the only way I can cope. So, I grab his hand and squeeze, making sure he's sound asleep, although I've made sure he was kept on a steady dose of morphine and that even if a bomb was set off in the room next to his, he'd still be out cold. " You did it again, partner. What is it now? A coveted 4 times in one year? You know, you beat my abduction record, I'll have to buy you lunch for that." The slow, rhythmic beeping of his EKG is the only comfort that I get. "Why do you have to do this, Mulder? Why do you always want to leave me behind? Might I not remind you that I am still a part of you? That I am still your partner? A partner who cares whether you live or die??." I take a breath. I will not cry tonight. It's bad enough I'm talking to an unconscious man, I can't have the nurses think I'm completely crazy. So, I lower my voice and continue. " You know, I have so many things that I want to tell you before you go off on your next quest without me but I don't dare tell you. Because that would be too much like saying goodbye. I lie to myself everyday and say that I've already told you how much you mean to me, but, in a literal way, I have because I've said those words so many times in my head and out loud. Just not in front of you. Just not when you're conscious. I want you to know, Mulder, really, I do, that I love you so much it hurts to look at you but everything will have to wait until I see a sign that you'll stop ditching me because I don't think I can handle ever losing you. And in a way, I think I understand why you do the things that you do, you've told me once that you're only doing that to protect me. WE have to protect each other, Mulder, but how can I do that when you won't let me? I'm strong, Mulder, but there's a limit to my strength. *You* are that limit. Not knowing whether you're dead or alive is my weakness. I wish you knew that. Do you have any idea how many times I've told you while you were sleeping how much I lov....?" My heart leapt to my throat, I would have finished the whole sentence had he not moved. I sat quietly, waiting for him to go back to sleep, holding my breath, hoping he hadn't heard the last part of my soliloquy to him. And just when I thought he had gone back to sleep, he surprises me. "I do, Scully, because I've said it just as many times", he whispers. But then again, doesn't he always? ************************* Fin just a little something I thought up in this convoluted brain of mine. Thanks for taking the time to read.;) ^ ^ >{o.o}< kat XFW # 914 "And then one day, when my mind was wandering, wandering, looking for a purpose....I found you."- Mulder to Scully "All Hallow's Eve I" note: quote is from a great fanfic I read..not an actual ep.