From: Maquis Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1998 10:20:20 -0600 (MDT) Subject: Story submission: WHo was funny in your family? Classification: H(umour) Keywords:Mulder/Scully UST Rating: PG Disclaimer: The characters belong to Chris Carter and all the rest. (You get the idea.) The song belongs to the Arrogant Worms, (yay!) and the "Toilet Duck" part was created by comedian Elvira Kurt.(the funny lady) Authors' note: This is just a little story we wrote at three o'clock in the morning. Please enjoy judgement- free! "Who Is Funny In Your Family?" by Mrs.Peel and Ms Scully (or Cap'n Kate and Maquis) Mulder looked up at his partner Scully from the monstrous pile of paperwork on his desk. "Scully?" "Yeah?" She answered without looking up. "We've been writing paperwork and their triples for about two hours without a break, yes?" "Yeah." Her head never moved. "And did you know that Krycek and Cancerman are having a wild, torrid affair?" "Yeah." "And you're not paying any attention to me, aren't you, my lovely Toilet Duck? Who loves you?" "WHAT?!!!!" Scully's head shot up. Mulder smiled sweetly. "Sing with me, Scully." She stared at him in disbelief. "I think the white-out is really getting to you, Mulder." "All you have to do is say 'moo' when I cue you." "WHAT?!!!" Mulder ignored her, waltzed over to her desk and stood her up. "Mulder, I don't want to stand up. Leave me alone." "Nope. Just stand up, face the file cabinet and say 'moo' when I tell you, okay?" Seeing the look of pure disbelief in her eyes, Mulder sighed. "Humour me, Scully. Consider it my birthday present." "It's January." "Details, details." He stood next to her and whispered "And hold that 'moo' for a few bars, would ya?" "Fine Mulder, if it'll keep you quiet after this." "Oh, it will." He grinned, put his hand over his heart and started to sing. "I am cow, hear me moo. I am twice as big as you. And I look good on the barbecue. "Milk and yogourt, cheese and butter come from liquid from my udder. I am cow, I am cow, hear me moo." Mulder pointed to Scully. She just looked at him with a cocked eyebrow. "Scully, I'm cueing you." "Oh, *sorry* your Royal Highness." "Let's hear it, G-Woman." Scully took a breath and ignoring all her protests, she 'mooed.' Mulder sang at the top of his lungs. "I am cow, I eat grass. Methane gas comes out my ass--" Mulder was cut off by Scully's choked laughter. "and out my muzzle when I belch. Oh, the ozone layer is thinner from the outcome of my dinner. I am cow, I am cow, I eat grass." Scully fell on Mulder's chair, prompting it to tip over, all the while the room was punctuated by Scully's laughter. Suddenly, they heard applause. Mulder whipped around to find Assistant Director Walter Skinner leaning against the doorframe, clapping his hands. "Very nice, Agents. I'm glad to know that your talents are not being wasted." "Is that who I think it is?" Asked Scully from the floor behind the desk. "I believe so, my Toilet Duck." Mulder said, mock-somberly. Skinner just rolled his eyes. ############## By Mrs. Peel and Ms Scully Feedback is great! Email us! lara@connect.ab.ca "Canada--Where the different colored money makes sense." -Andy Stochenski "Schizophrenia beats dining alone." ~unknown