From: =?iso-8859-1?q?Maria=20O'Rourke?= Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2001 15:20:17 +0100 (BST) Subject: xfc: New: Who's the Father? 1/1 Source: xfc Title: Who's the Father? Part: 1/1 Author: Maria O'Rourke. Feedback: dk_scully_101@yahoo.com Archive: Go ahead, just let me know where it's going so I can pop by! Summary: Scully POV for a conversation she had with her mother during Mulder's disappearance. Spoilers: From Requiem up to present. Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/begininng_and_end/index.htm It was roughly 3 months before William's birth when I found myself sitting in my mother's kitchen, staring at a cup of tea that had gone cold over ten minutes ago. I held it between my hands, staring at it as if doing so would make it possible for me to drift off into another world, thus avoiding this whole conversation. I should've known that staring at a cup of tea wouldn't let me avoid the question that I knew was on my mother's lips, the same question that had been there since I'd been forced to tell her about my, em, situation. That was the way that my family referred to it after I refused to tell them who the father was. So I sat in the kitchen, the open window allowing the wind to circulate through the kitchen. I'd opened it earlier in an attempt to relieve the hot flush that had decided to strike at the precise moment that I'd entered my mother's house. It must have been my body's way of telling me to get out while I still could. But I couldn't. I'd already cancelled dinner three times because of work, because I needed to do paperwork, because I was going to a friend's. All fictional but I couldn't face talking to my family. I knew what it would be like. "Do you want more tea Dana?" It sounded like my mother's voice but it was as if I couldn't hear her properly, as if I had managed to somehow transport myself into the world of tea. I looked up and saw my mother staring at me. Nope, still there in the kitchen. It took me a moment to remember what she said. "Sure..." I replied, sighing and releasing my grip on the mug. I stared almost longingly at it as she took it to the sink, opening the cupboard above her head and taking out a clean one. She stared at it for a moment before moving to the boiled kettle. As she poured the boiled water into a teapot I saw the mug that she'd taken from the press. "World's Greatest Grandma" was written on it and I sighed, knowing what was coming next. "Shelia had her baby the other day..." she commented and I don't think she knew, or cared, that I knew of nobody called Shelia, at least not someone my mother would know. She placed the teapot in the centre of the table and reached over and took the two mugs from beside the sink. "A boy..." There was a pause as I took in this piece of useless information and nodded, pouring milk into my tea. "Shelia, she's Marian's daughter..." my mother added, as if now only realising that I didn't know who the infamous Shelia was. Come to think about it, I don't think that I know Marian either. I sighed and nodded again, unable to offer any conversation that wouldn't lead to the inevitable. "It was a baby boy, just like you..." I smiled. "That's nice." I took a sip of tea. Finding that my skin felt increasingly hotter, despite the cool breeze from the window. "Marian said that Jack was ecstatic about it," she stated, keeping her eyes averted. I knew less about Jack then I did about Shelia but I could guess where this was going. I rose. "Marian said he cried as he held the baby..." I opened the cupboard door that held the cereal, I just needed to hide my face from her and the cereal cupboard was the largest one in the kitchen and when it was opened, I could stand behind it and hide my face. I bit my lip. "Will the baby's father be there when you go into labour?" she asked and I closed my eyes, a face flashing before them. I swallowed and closed the door, turning to face my mother. I could see how shocked she was when I turned around. I think the last time that I cried in front of her was when I found out that I was Emily's mother. I cringed at the mention of her name, even in my thoughts. Would I ever tell this baby that I was carrying that he had a sister once? "Dana?" my mother's voice brought me out from my daydream and I realised that I was still crying. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, turning to the sink and turning on the tap, bringing a handful of water to my face. My mother's hand was on my back immediately, soothing me. "What's wrong?" "What's wrong?" I repeated, laughing despite the tears that continued to flow down my cheeks. "What could possibly be wrong?" She removed her hand and I immediately felt the lack of pressure on my back. I couldn't remember the last time I had any human contact, apart from the football friendly baby inside me. Despite the anger I felt, I missed the brief moment of contact that my mother had offered. I closed my eyes, remembering the last memorable touch I had felt as Mulder's arms had held me close to him. "I don't want to talk about it..." I replied, swallowing, refusing to stare at my mother but I felt her hands go beneath my chin as she forced my eyes to meet hers. "You never want to talk about it. I want to know Dana, I have a right to know!" "Right? *You* have a right?" I almost screamed but held back. I looked at the ground but allowed myself to stare at her, to show her the strength of emotions in my eyes. "I have the right. Where did Shelia have her child?" "What?" "Where did she deliver her baby?" I asked and she shrugged. "I'm not sure..." "A hospital?" My mother nodded and I could see that she was confused. "I don't even KNOW where I'll be when I go into labour. You think that the only thing that I'm not telling you about this baby is the father?" "Dana, you're scaring me!" "Well, I'm scared too mom! I'm scared every time that I wake up in the morning! I'm scared every time that I feel my baby kick inside me, scared because I can't even go to the hospital to check on him because I'm afraid that someone or something will take him!" "Who would take him?" "I don't want to go into this." I said finally, sitting down on the chair I had left vacant minutes ago. "I don't think you have a choice Dana, it's about time you tell me what's going on..." "Tell you? I'll tell you when I know." I felt everything flood out of me. It was the first time that I'd talked to anyone this way in months. I needed to let go of my emotions but I needed to stop, before I said something that I'd regret. Before I frightened my mother, or worse, before I frightened myself. "Dana! What's going on, has this got to do with Fox?" she asked and the mere mention of his name sent shivers down my spine and caused more tears. "Oh mom..." I muttered as she took my head in her hands and held me against her shoulder as my body shook. She rubbed my back and I closed my eyes, trying to imagine where Mulder was at that precise moment. "It will be alright Dana..." I shook my head, opening my eyes and forcing myself to look at her. I saw something that I hadn't seen before in my mother's eyes. Understanding. "I miss him..." It was all that needed to be said. She understood now and she simply smiled, kissed my head and nodded. "So..." she began, sitting back on her chair and staring at her tea. She prattled on about something that had nothing to do with a baby or the X-Files or anything that she knew would cause me to concentrate on Mulder. I looked up and smiled at her, wondering just how long this new approach to my pregnancy would last. I sighed, staring at the cup of tea in my hand, glad that I had come to see my mother. * I smile as I watch my mother now. She leans over William's cradle and picks him up, holding him up to her shoulder as he cries. He whimpers for a moment but soon his eyes drift closed and his head rests firmly on her shoulder as she begins to walk towards me. "I've been thinking mom..." I said, as she sat on the sofa, kissing William's cheek as she held him. "Yes?" she asked, not lifting her eyes from William, she gets like that when she sees him. Once she's said hello to Mulder, and me she goes for our son like a bullet. I didn't answer her, lost in my own thoughts until she stares at me. "Dana, you're day dreaming..." I smile, watching as her attention turns back to William. "Why didn't you ask me who his father was after that day in the kitchen?" I ask, and I see her freeze. She sighs and shrugs. "You said you didn't want to talk about it..." she replies. "That never stopped you before." She smiled. "It was different." "In what way?" "What is this Dana? The Spanish Inquisition?" she stared at William. "When you said that you were frightened and knew as much as I did, then I knew that you weren't telling me things for both my own good and yours." "You trusted me." "I never meant to upset you that day Dana..." she stated and I smiled. "I never thanked you..." I stated and she looked surprised. "For what honey?" she asked and I smile again. "For helping me..." I finally answer, sitting on the arm of the couch and staring down at William. "For being there when I needed you the most... But why didn't you ever ask me again?" She didn't answer; she didn't get a chance to. The door opened from the bedroom and she looked up, smiling. "My two favourite mommies..." I smile as I look at Mulder crouch over my mother's lap and tickle William under his chin. "And my favourite little man..." William smiles gleefully at his father as Mulder returns the smile. "You ready?" Mulder asks and I nod, watching as my mother hands William to him. She reaches behind her and grabs her coat, slipping it over her shoulders. "Me and Will, will have great fun waiting for mommy and grandma to come back from dinner won't we?" It was as if William responded to Mulder in his own baby language and Mulder smiled as he kissed me goodbye. As we stepped outside the door of my apartment, my mother took my arm and we began to walk towards the elevator. She stopped after a moment and turned to face me. "I knew," she stated and I stared at her and swallowed before she smiled, took my hand again and walked to the end of the hall. I didn't have to ask what she was referring to; I knew that she was answering my previous question. She never asked me about William's father after that day in the kitchen because she knew who it was. Mulder. 4 months ago, I refused to talk to my mother about him and now I leave our apartment, safe knowing that when I return, both he and my son will be there. ===== "A woman always has the last say in an arguement, anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new one." AIM: DanaSx List: morxffanfic-subscribe@yahoogroups.com (Join to receive info when my new fics are out!) Website: www.geocities.com/begininng_and_end/index.htm