From: Kritter118@aol.com Date: Wed, 28 Oct 1998 15:46:40 EST Subject: "Why?" Title: Why? Author: K.M. Webb Email: Kritter118@aol.com Spoiler Warnings: Fight the Future. It also helps if you've seen Colony and End Game. Classification: V, M/S UST/Romance Summary: Scully needs to understand why. Disclaimer: They are not mine. We all know who they belong to, so I am not going to bore you with the details. Author's Notes: Okay, this is my first attempt at fanfic, so be gentle. This is just something that I thought up out of the blue one night and it wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. I would love feedback. Let me know what you thought. Complements and flames alike . *************************************** Special Agent Dana Scully stared at the report on the desk. She'd been on the same page for almost an hour now and still was no closer to the end. She just couldn't concentrate. She looked up at her partner. Fox Mulder was sitting at his computer, sorting though his email. Occasionally, she would hear a grunt or a cracking sunflower seed, but other than that, the office was silent. It was driving Scully nuts. It had been three weeks since the whole Dallas/Antarctica mess and neither one had talked of it since that day at the reflecting pool. And there was plenty that they needed to talk about. She took off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. She closed her eyes and took herself back three weeks. Scully didn't remember much of what happened in Antarctica. Just the unbearable cold, the fear, and the complete dumb-founded amazement. Amazement at her partner. That he would follow her into that frozen hell to bring her home, back to him, just blew her away. Her only truly vivid memory was of sitting in the snow, waiting for help and holding her half frozen partner in her lap. Rocking him back and forth, stroking and kissing his hair. At that moment she felt a love so strong that it had brought tears to her eyes whell up in her chest. That he would do that for her... "Hey, woo hoo. Mother Ship to Dana Scully, come in Agent Scully." Scully's eyes snapped open. She blushed and looked down, wondering how long she'd been lost in thought and how long Mulder had been staring at her. Suddenly she had the overwhelming need to know why. It had been eating at her for too long, and despite the anxiety and nervousness she felt at the prospect of bringing those memories to surface, she had to understand. "Scully", Mulder said, suddenly becoming concerned, "you okay?" She looked up at her partner, her best friend, and made the decision to ask him, before she lost her nerve. She knew what could happen with their relationship if they didn't talk. It had happened before and the rift that formed between them had scared her. She would do anything to see that that didn't happen again. However, when she opened her mouth, all the articulate speeches she'd come up with flew out of her head. Finally, one word popped out. "Why?" Cocking his head to one side, Mulder answered, "Well, you just seemed kinda distant, and I was just-" "No Mulder", she interrupted, giving a sigh, half out of frustration at herself for not being able to approach this better, and half in amusement at how clueless her partner sometimes was. "Why? Why did you do it?" She looked back down at her desk. "Why did you go though that hell in Antarctica? You risked your life and...and I don't", she took a deep breath, "I just don't get it. I mean, I had told you I was leaving you, and you still..." She stopped when she felt Mulder's hands on her knees. She looked up to see him squatting in front of her chair. He looked straight into her eyes. "You've done the same thing for me before, you know." When she furrowed her brow at him questioningly, he smiled and went on. "The Gregors, the clones, me ditching you, the alien virus..." "Mulder", Scully said, shaking her head, "that was different. Alaska is not exactly Antarctica, despite the snow. And I went to a naval base not...", she waved her hand in the air, to which Mulder gave a slight laugh. Leave it to his Scully to actually find herself held against her will in an alien ship and still not admit what she saw. "And", Scully continued, placing her hands over his, squeezing slightly, "I wasn't suffering from a gunshot wound to the head." Mulder closed his eyes briefly, trying to decide how best to explain this to her. Opening them again, he said, "Let me ask you a question Scully. If that had been the case. If those had been the circumstances, would you still have come for me?" Scully's head shot up to meet Mulder's eyes again. She suddenly understood. It was like a hammer hitting her head, knocking some sense back into it. She smiled then, a beautiful smile that immediately reminded Mulder of why he went through hell and back. "In a heartbeat", she answered with conviction. Mulder smiled then, too. He pulled her hand towards him until she was close enough for him to wrap his arms around. She hugged him back, thanking God that he was in her life. Being in his arms reminded her of another time, in his hallway, when she was in the same position. She knew that they would have to talk about that night, especially that almost kiss, eventually. But not today. One deep and meaningful conversation with Mulder at a time. "Thank you Mulder. For coming for me." She felt him tighten his grip on her for a few second before brushing a kiss on her hair and pulling away. "Anywhere, anytime, partner. I'll always be there for you", Mulder answered, and she saw it then, in his eyes. She saw the love and devotion shinning there. "Back at ya Mulder", she said, ruffling his hair. He smiled and stood to return to his desk. When he turned his back, she added under her breath, "And I love you too.