Subject: Wild Things Part Three: Steely Knives Date: Wed, 17 Dec 1997 16:21:53 +0000 From: Lyle Bontrager To: spooky42@juno.com CC: xfcreative@microserve.net Title: Wild Things Part Three: Steely Knives Author: RocketMan >lbontger@wmcstations.com< Dsiclaimer: Mulder and Scully do not belong to me. No infringement on CC or Fox is intended. SPOILER FOR EMILY!!!!!!! Steely Knives "They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can't kill the beast." --Hotel California by the Eagles "So how does that Potato face go again Mulder?" His eyebrows shoot up and he shakes his head. I smile partway and then lapse back into silence. I shouldn't have brought it up. It only makes me remember Emily clearer, better, with her child face and fingers and the shy smile she gave him when he came in. "Hey, Scully..." he says, as if pleading with me not to start again. I say nothing only flash him a tight 'I'm fine' smile and turn away. "Scully, you need to talk about her. You want to talk about her, but every time you start, you close up again." I shake my head. I just don't want to remember anymore. I was fine before, without her and not knowing about her, so why can't I make it go away? "Scully," he says sharply, as if he can hear my thoughts. "Stop it Mulder. I don't need to talk." I start to walk away from him, but the airport is crowded and I don't want to lose him. Our plane is waiting to take us back to D.C. So I sort of stand aside and move so that I no longer feel his heat against me. "Scully," he says again and walks right up to my ear, tickling it with his voice's echo. "Mulder, stop! I just want to stop remembering her!" Silence freezes between us. I gulp and realize what has just been said. I can't speak. He's staring at me like I'm the worst woman, mother, on earth. His hand comes up . . . I think in a brief flash he will hit me . . . it covers my neck . . . slight easy touch . . "I'm sorry - I -" He shakes his head. "I know what you mean. You wish it could go back to the way it was. Not that you wish you didn't know Emily." I nod soundlessly and sink to the chair before me, the hard form fitting, but not my form, airport chair. I bury my face in my hands. "Oh Mulder, it hurts so bad." He sits next to me and does not reach out, he knows I don't want him to touch me really. "She was a beautiful little girl." he says softly. "Just like her mother." I only shake. I've lost something so valuable, something that should never have been taken from me, from my body or my life. My own little girl, hurting and afraid, dying within while I'm without and I couldn't even touch her. "I couldn't even touch her till the very end Mulder." I say, almost transfixed in my grief. He nods and simply watches my eyes, my pain swirling there. "I laid down next to her until she just floated away." He takes my body, my shaking almost crying body, and wraps his love around me. I could float away too. "I just want the peace back again, Mulder. I thought when I beat the cancer, that nothing could hurt me again. But this . . . how many more Emilys are there?" "I know you want the hurt to go away, Scully, and it's okay to feel that. But I know you don't want Emily to go away. And that part of her will stay with you forever." I nod into him and sink gratefully into the never failing Mulder logic. I sit there, in the airport with millions of people around us, in Mulder's arms and somewhere my mother getting herself a cup of coffee, and I really couldn't care less. This feels right . . . it feels comforting. I don't care what people read into it, or even what it really means, I just need my friend. He tilts my face up and smiles. I laugh as he makes the Potato face. "I guess it works like a charm on all the Scully women," he whispers. end adios RocketMan Subject: Wild Things: Zebras (1/1) Date: Tue, 23 Dec 1997 20:23:48 +0000 From: Lyle Bontrager To: spooky42@juno.com Title: Wild Things: Zebras (1/1) Author: RocketMan >lbontger@wmcstations.com< Dislcaimer: I do not own zebras, I believe they were created by God, so that would entitle him to full property rights. Oh, yeah, I don't own Mulder and Scully either. CC, 1013, and Fox do though. (Doesn't it sound like some kind of ER episode with CC in there like medicine dosage or something?) I forget, is this part 3 or 4 or 5? MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE EVE. Zebras "Yeah, so what?" "Charlie, shut up. You sound like a moron." "Yeah, so what?" "Shut up, you moron." "Mom! Dana's calling me a moron!" "Shut up!" "Dana, don't call your brother a moron." "Moron . . ." "Mo - om!" "Da - na!" "I didn't!" "Dana don't lie." "All right . . . he is a moron, I'm not lying. . ." "All right . . . he is a moro-" "Mom! Charlie's copying me!" "You two behave now! or Santa Claus won't come at all!" Silence. "moron" "butthead" "idiot" "oh, good one, slime face" "shut up, dork breath" "you're just a dork" "well . . . " "well what smarty?" Dana pouted. She'd never been good at name calling. Not original enough. "Well you're both morons, okay?" "Shut up Melissa!" they said in sync. And then went off to play as best friends again. ~*~*~*~*~ "Scully?" "Huh?" "Where were you?" "Uhm, just thinking about Christmas." "Excited?" "Nah. Just remembering old Christmases." "Oh. Good ones?" "Yeah. We always had good ones. Didn't realize it then, but we did." "Santa Claus never gave you coal?" A laugh. "I guess that's a no." "Actually, my mother once gave me a stocking full of coal, but this was in October and I'd been caught smoking and well, doing some things I shouldn't have and she'd been trying to reach me. Gave me coal." "As a warning? What, afraid Santa would give you coal on Christmas?" "No, afraid my parents would kick me out for Christmas." "Really? Good little Scully? Kicked out?" "Yeah." "Did you do anything else really bad ever in your life?" A sheepish look. "Well, yeah." "Coal deserving?" "Oh, yeah, definitely." "Tell me." "What? Now?" "What else is there to do?" "Uhm, hhm, work?" "Nope. Tell me." "I ran away." "What?!" "I did." "Scully, ran away? Why?" "Because I was mad. And only four years old." "Where'd you go?" "To the zoo." "The zoo. Kind of a stupid place to go." "Well, I bet you just went around the block when it was dark when *you* ran away from home." "Ouch. Touche." "So, I went to the zoo. Stayed with the zebras." "Zebras?" He was laughing. "What? Did you think you could blend in?" "Ha. Ha. Funny today Mulder." "Oh, now, come on. Why zebras?" "I like zebras. They're not like anything else. I mean a horse and a mule maybe, but those wild stripes . . " "So, it made you feel wild to run away from home and so did those stripes?" "Sure . . ." "So how'd you like a zebra feeling now?" "Huh?" He'd been getting closer with every word, every exchange and now she realized he was right there. Right there. Zebras were stampeding. He bent forward, looking her right in the eye. "How'd you like that zebra wildness again?" "Well . . ." He took it as a yes. And kissed her. Stampede, stampede. end adios RM Subject: Wild Thing 5: I Want To Know Date: Thu, 01 Jan 1998 01:34:50 +0000 From: Lyle Bontrager To: spooky42@juno.com Title: Wild Thing 5: I Want To Know Author: RocketMan >lbontger@wmcstations.com< Disclaimer: M&S belong to CC, 1013, and Fox. THIS IS NOT IN FIRST PERSON LIKE THE OTHERS. "Wild thing, I think I love you . . . Well, I wanna know for sure." --Wild Thing, The Troggs I Want To Know "Well, Happy New Year, Scully." She smiled and patted his arm as he leaned against the doorframe, taking in her aroma and her breath. Once again, on a case, on a holiday. Not that either of them had anything better to do. And the only reason they were up at midnight was beacause of the case. It had taken longer than they had thought to get back-up for the stakeout. Of course, they should've known, since it was New Year's. He let her into the bathroom first, grumbling at having to share when every other time motels had a bathroom for each room. She walked in and he switched on the television, watching a million people cheering in Times Square as the ball was already dropped and the clock now read 12:13. Great, another year gone and he was no closer to anything, really. Sure, he'd gotten to see Samantha for about ten minutes, but she was frightened of him and hadn't called back, ever. He had a bad feeling she never would either. And all he had managed on the Scully front was a meager kiss that left him reeling and her dazed. He hadn't tried a thing since: he was a bit frightened. He sank into the bed and ignored the TV and listened instead to the sound of water hitting tiles and shower curtain and her bare body and sliding down her skin to the curve of her breasts and across her shoulders, down, down, down to places he had only imagined and places if she knew he was imagining she would be moritfied. He closed his eyes and shivered, drifting off into a coma like trance where all he did was replay their kiss and see her lips closer and closer until he went cross-eyed and had to close them. He loved her. Right? Then why couldn't he get up the nerve to kiss her again? The water had stopped finally and all he heard was nothing. He stood and walked stiffly to the bathroom door, shaking as he kept seeing her lips in his mind, moist from him. "Scully?" Nothing again. "Scully?" "Just a second, Mulder. I'm drying off." He nodded even though she couldn't see it and sat down in the chair by the door, feeling his legs quake a little. The door popped open a bit later and she came out, saying, "Your turn Mulder." Then she left through the other door, connecting her motel room to his through their mutual bathroom. He walked in and started the water and stripped down to his boxers before realizing he didn't have any shampoo and that the cheap motel hadn't provided any like he'd hoped. He walked into her room and saw a flash of skin before her robe came quickly around her shoulders. "Uh, Scully, can I borrow your shampoo?" She nodded and smiled and he left, his mind reeling from the after image of her skin burned into his retinas. He got in the shower and began lathering soap across his body and on his face, scrubbing like he'd been taught. He rinsed under the shower head and then grabbed her bottle of Herbal Essences shampoo. Her smell hit him like physical blow to the chest. His lungs filled with the flavor and then would not breathe out, afraid there would be none left. It was everywhere though and he had to sag against the wall in order to catch his breath. Her. That smell of clean warm human flesh without noxious flowery perfume, only soap and shampoo and water. He put a ton of the gel into his hand and lathered his hair, smelling and smelling and smelling until he had her smell printed deep into his consciousness to where nothing could make him forget it. He used her conditioner too, wanting to get the full effect. When he stepped out of the shower and dried off she was still there. Her smell anyway. He put on deoderant and a dab of cologne and then his pajamas. Plaid pants with a white T-shirt. As the cologne mixed with the Her-smell he suddenly felt weak, as if a horse had dragged him along behind. It was the mixture that killed him. It smelled like them together, if they had been woven into a tight oneness that had defied all reasons. One person, one smell, one love and grace and beauty. Her and him. And it was right. It didn't clash or irritate his senses or disagree with his stomach. He went slamming into her door and through it and next to her as she sat up in bed in sweat pants and a white T-shirt that she had borrowed from him once when she'd forgotten her own pajamas. And he kissed her hard. She surged back, away from his recklessness and irrationality. "Mulder!" He smiled foolishly, not caring that he had been way out of line and crazy but only that she was right for him and perfect, perfect. "Mulder?" "You're it." he said and smiled goofily. She shook her head. "I'm too tired to play games, Mulder. What are you doing?" "Loving you." Her jaw dropped and he laughed. Her eyes looked like blue popsicles with a bite shaving off the top so that the little shards of ice could be seen radiating out from the center stick. They looked cold and blue and lovable. Very lovable. "Do you love me?" She shook her head dumbly. "Mulder. I-" "Nope, answer." "What? Not now, Mulder. In the morning, this is too crazy. You're tired and -" "Um, no. Answer..." "No!" "No, you won't answer, or no you odn't love me?" "No, I don't love you. Now go to bed." He stared at her, not contemplating rejection. "No?" His voice was little and hurt and she felt bad, but it really wasn't the right time to ask, after Emily and everything. "Is it okay if I love you anyway?" he said, sounding small and fragile and stepped on. She bit her lip and took hid hand. "Yes, but Mulder, seriously, get some sleep and then talk to me. It's already 1:23." He sighed. "I won't be able to sleep." Then his eyes perked up. "You don't hate me for loving you?" "Mulder," she groaned. "You need some sleep. Of course I don't hate you." "Then you must love me." "No," she started but couldn't say to him again that she didn't love him. Part of her was revolting inside. "Mulder," she said softly. "Are you being serious?" "I'm serious. Giddy because I finally told you, but serious." "Giddy?" "Go with it Scully." She nodded and then kissed him, pulling him close until her lips were against his and shocks like when you accidentally touch the current were running through them both. "What was that?" "Me going with it." He smiled. "Go with it some more." She shook her head. "Mulder, I don't love someone unless I think it's forever." He stopped laughing and joking and ran a finger along her cheek. "I think this is forever here. There's no way I couldn't love you." Scully nodded. "This is kind of wild." He smiled and touched her hair reverently almost. "Yeah. Wild." She shook her head. "Go back to bed, Mulder. We'll talk in the morning." Mulder eased off her bed and slipped through the bathroom back to his room. That had been the most awkward way of saying what he meant than ever. At least she had believed him. But he still kind of wondered. Did she love him? She had kissed him and 'gone with it' but said nothing. It was all crazy anyway. Her smell and his seducing him until he had to kiss her. Crazy. Wild. True. His whole life could start with her. Forever. end adios RM