Date: Mon, 29 Jun 1998 16:43:44 -0400 From: Rhoni Lake Subject: NEW: Wounded Heart (6/11) by Sherry Davis I DID *NOT* WRITE THIS!!! I wish I did. I am posting for the author who'se e-mail address is:SherryDav@aol.com This is her FIRST fanfic folx. PLEASE send her feedback at:SherryDav@aol.com --------------------------------------------------------------------- Title: Wounded Heart. Part 6/11 Author:Sherry Davis. E-mail:SherryDav@aol.com Category: S MSR Rating: NC17 For language and sexual situations. Spoilers: Up to and including US5. Summary: A body found in Mulder's home town shatters his dreams and prompts him to question his memory of the events surrounding his sister's disappearance. Feedback:You betcha. Disclaimer: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, Walter Skinner and a host of other X-Files characters do not belong to me. They belong to Chris Carter, 1013 and the FOX network and no copyright infringement is intended. Greenwich Meridian Motel, Greenwich, Connecticut,06.45 a.m. It had taken her an hour to shower and change into casual clothing. Scully sat at the end of her bed and stared down at the cellphone nestled in the palm of her hand. She gazed at the small piece of plastic and wiring as though it were some kind of oracle. All seeing. All knowing. As though it would help her make the decision that she knew needed to be made. She would tell him. It was the right thing to do. He had a right to know. But she would wait... wait until she had confirmed the details for herself. She hit the dial button and pushed one of the memory buttons. A second later she heard the sound of the connection being made and after three rings the call was answered. " Skinner, " a gruff voice said on the other end of the line. " Sir, it's Agent Scully. I need you to do something for me. I need you to dig out the file on William Mulder's murder and run some tests on his DNA?" " What's wrong, Scully? " Skinner asked. " Maybe nothing, " she hesitated, " maybe everything." "Are you alright, Agent Scully? " Skinner's voice sounded concerned on the other end of the line. Scully shook herself and made herself think before she answered that question, " I'm fine, sir, it's just been a very long night." " How's Mulder doing? " Skinner asked softly. " He's getting by... " she knew her reply sounded noncommittal and she wondered if her boss would call her on it. " Sir, I hope you don't mind, but I need you to run a DNA test on the bloodwork that we hold on William Mulder's file. If the lab can't do it from what we already know then there should still be some tissue samples up at Quantico, " she could faintly hear him scribbling in the background and she waited to give him a moment to jot down the details. " Okay, what next? " he asked, giving her the go ahead to continue. " I then need you to match those DNA findings against the DNA sample that was found in the Medical Examiners autopsy report on Samantha Mulder. I think you know the part I'm talking about sir.." she heard his sharp intake of breath over the phone, " that part of the report that is missing from the one we have up here." She confirmed in the very small case that he had misinterpreted her earlier remark. There was a long pause on the other end of the line and she waited for the question that she knew her boss would ask. " You think William Mulder... " he began. " It's starting to look that way, " she quickly broke in, not wanting to engage in anymore talk on the matter just in case Mulder came into her room and overheard. " Jesus," Skinner expelled the word softly almost under his breath. Something in Scully's tone told him that she didn't want to discuss the matter further at this point and he silently agreed. However, he couldn't help wondering what they had uncovered since he had last spoken to them for Scully to believe in the involvement of Mulder's father, "Okay, Scully, I'll get on it right away." " Could you please messenger the findings to me care of the Greenwich Meridian Motel, in Greenwich, Connecticut. " " Greenwich? " Skinner asked curiously. Scully swallowed hard before answering this new question, " Mulder told his mother last night, " a cold shiver ran down her spine as she remembered the confrontation that had taken place. " My God! How is she? " " In the local hospital under sedation, " even she could detect the cold and detached tone in her voice, she was certain that Skinner would pick up on it. " From the sound of your voice, I'd say the truth didn't go down so well, " Skinner said. Damn he had picked up on it, " You could say that, sir, " she replied, not wanting to be drawn into having to tell Skinner about Mrs. Mulder's accusations toward her son, " look, I'm also gonna need you to send all the details of the missing forensic work." " Your going to tell him? " Skinner knew it wasn't really a question. " Yes, " Scully replied and she couldn't help sighing softly as she expelled the word, "I have to tell him. He'd never forgive me if I didn't. " " Are you sure he can handle it? " Skinner's voice once again gave away his concern for his agent. " No, sir, I'm not sure he can handle it, but withholding it from him only makes us as bad as everyone else and I can't and won't be a party to that," her voice held an icy determination to it that travelled down the phone to her boss. He knew she had no intention of playing by the same rules that their enemies did, namely keeping Mulder in the dark. The tone of her voice also indicated that if necessary she would do it against her boss' instructions. " I understand, Agent Scully, " Skinner replied solemnly. He had to admire her unflagging loyalty to her partner as well as the depth to which her friendship with the bureau's least loved employee went. " Thank you, sir, I was hoping you would, " she was beginning to get a little ansty about staying on the phone. By mutual consent neither of them locked the communicating door between their rooms, and she was becoming worried that Mulder might at any minute walk through the door and hear a part of this conversation. A conversation that at this moment in time, Scully didn't feel comfortable revealing to him," I'll keep you posted on the situation." " I'll get the tests carried out immediately and get the findings and the autopsy data to you asap." " Thank you, sir." " Scully... " Skinner said before he hung up. " Sir? " " You've told me how Mulder is... but how are you holding up?" His voice was soft with the same concern he had shown toward his male agent and Scully knew that he was genuinely worried about them. " I'm fi.. " she began, but stopped herself before she finished her usual stock answer, " actually sir, I'm feeling pretty shitty, " the words came out of her mouth before she had a chance to stop them and her eyes opened wide in shock. " That rough, huh? " Skinner's tone was gentle and she silently thanked him for not picking her up on her slip of the tongue. " I've never seen Mulder like this..." she confessed, " his not exactly falling apart, but he's not far off either. This isn't even the first time that I've come across such raw emotions from him," she paused momentarily and Skinner knew that she was weighing up whether it was prudent to tell him anymore about her partner's mental state. He heard a low drawn out sigh on the other end of the connection, " but seeing him like this... watching him trying not to crumble in front of my eyes..." she swallowed down the sob that threatened to break free from her throat, " it's tearing me up inside, " she paused again, " I want to be able to do something for him, but I'm not even sure what to do? What's best to help him? I keep telling myself that all I can do is be there for him, but that just feels so very inadequate.. it just doesn't feel enough... somehow.. " her voice trailed off into a soft whisper, " ... I just want to do what's best for him. " " Just be there." Skinner replied, his own voice matching hers in its softness, "Scully, I'm sure I don't have to tell you this, but Mulder derives a lot of strength just from your presence alone." He felt her smile down the line, " Yours is an unique partnership, Scully. I've never come across anything quite like the relationship that you and Mulder have. Quite, frankly, I'm a little envious, " this time he heard a faint chuckle down the line, " Never < ever > doubt how much he needs you, Dana, " his voice turned more serious, " it's more than you could possibly imagine." Her boss' utter sincerity and truthfulness took her by surprise. It was obvious that he knew more about the inner workings of their partnership than either one of them had given him credit for. He understood the uniqueness of their special bond, how they seemed to compliment each other so well, how they needed one another to supply the things that they were individually lacking. She heard Skinner's voice in her ear again, " Take as long as you both need up there. Don't worry about things at this end.. I'll handle them." " We'll probably need a couple of days to arrange the funeral details," she paused briefly before continuing, " I think Mulder would appreciate it if you could come along? " " Just tell me the time and the place, Scully." " I'll let you know as soon as I do. Goodbye sir." She disconnected the phone and dropped it unceremoniously upon the unmade bed. God! she hadn't even thought about the funeral. With his mother's incapacity it would be left up to Mulder to arrange for Samantha's burial... yet another weight to be borne on his already over laden shoulders. A soft knock broke into her thoughts before she could continue them. She saw the door swing open gently to reveal Mulder as he stood hesitantly in the doorway. " I heard your voice, " he said by way of introduction, " who were you talking to?" " Skinner, I was just giving him a progress report, " she covered, and hated herself for the white lie she was telling him, and vowed that it would end as soon as she got that report from her boss. " Oh, I thought it might have been the hospital, " he said a touch disappointed. Her eyes widened. God, she had forgotten all about the hospital, " Mulder, I'm sorry, it went clean out of my head, " she scrambled around for the cellphone again and snatched it up in her hand, she began frantically tapping in the number that the paramedics had given her. Mulder stopped her movements with a brush of his fingers over her hand. He hit the cut off button and gently eased the cellphone from her fingers. " I wasn't chastising you, Scully, " he said around a soft smile, "you've been looking out for me for the last twenty four hours, " his cool fingers brushed across her cheek tenderly, " you've gone without sleep. Without food, " his smile grew wider and more softer, " I don't expect you to do everything for me. I'm quite capable of calling the hospital myself." " I'm fine, Mulder, really, " she said. " Your wiped out. Get some sleep, I'll ring the hospital and then rustle us up some breakfast." " It's not necessary... I don't need... " she began to protest, but his fingers stilled her lips. " Trust me, Scully, I'm a doctor, " he said with an authoritative voice. " Your not that kind of a doctor, Mulder " she told him with mock reproach in her voice, but a smile in her eyes. " Are you finding fault with my bedside manner, Doctor Scully?" his eyes, that were moments ago tender, now twinkled with unrestrained mischief once again. " I wouldn't know. I've never sampled your bedside manner," Scully replied and blushed profusely at the way that sounded. " I do believe the enigmatic Doctor Scully blushes," her face reddened further at his teasing and he decided to take advantage of the situation by leaning in toward her. He watched as her blue eyes widened as his face inched toward hers, " thought you were hoping to get lucky... " he whispered seductively against her lips just as he brushed his lightly across them. He felt her shudder with the contact. " Get some sleep, Scully, " he pulled away and got to his feet. He headed toward the door taking the cellphone with him. " Mulder? " there was an unmistakable tremor in her voice and he turned back around to face her, " the kiss... what was it for? " she asked. " To say thanks... for being here... for helping me get through this..." he pivoted back around and resumed his walk toward the door. As he stepped through it, he looked back over his shoulder at her, " and because I couldn't resist the temptation anymore. I've wanted to kiss you for years, " he went through the door and closed it quietly behind him. Scully stared at the door for a minute as her mind processed his last remark. Languidly she fell back upon the unmade bed and stared at the ceiling, touching her lips where they still tingled slightly from his featherlight touch. She hadn't missed the shudder that had gone through her body when his lips had first made contact with hers, or how good it had felt either. < He'd wanted to kiss her for years...> Was he pulling her leg? If he wasn't what the hell did it mean? "I think we're in a lot of trouble," she whispered softly to herself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Greenwich Meridian Motel, Greenwich, Connecticut. 3.15 p.m. The next day... The trip to the funeral home had been awful. Much worse than she had expected. Mulder had been subdued throughout the discussions concerning his sister's burial. The funeral director had tried to be polite and helpful, but he was met with a wall of silence from the tall FBI agent and had eventually become exasperated at his lack of progress. Scully for her part had tried to mediate between the two men, but she had little idea as to how Mulder wanted to handle these delicate proceedings. Finally, after meeting the same wall of silence as the funeral director had, she had taken him to one side to talk to him. " We don't have to do this today, if you don't feel like it, " she had started to say but Mulder had cut her off with a quick slash of his hand in the air. " I don't want to do this!" He stated simply and looked away from her. " Well... we could come back tomorrow, " Scully suggested, but he just shook his head impatiently as though she had missed some vital clue in a case they were working. " You don't understand, " he said and he leaned down toward her diminishing her personal space, " I. don't. want. to. do. this!" He repeated his earlier remark, but with an emphasise on each and every word. " Mulder, I know this isn't easy for you, " she started and once again he proceeded to cut her off before she could finish. " I don't want this responsibility, " he raked an angry hand through his hair mussing it up, "I've had more than my fair share of taking the brunt of everything for the last twenty five years... and I don't want it anymore. I can't do this. I refuse to do this, " he brushed past her and headed toward the glazed doorway leading out into the street beyond. Scully caught up with him before he reached it and grabbed him by the arm twisting him around, " Mulder, your the only person who can.... Who else is going to do this if you won't? " she questioned him. " My dear devoted mother, " he replied with unaccustomed venom in his voice, " oh.. but I forgot she's in deep denial mode right now, " his hand settled on the handle on the door to open it. " Do it for Samantha, Mulder, " Scully said as she gently slid her fingers over his on the door handle, " she needs you to do this for her..." The force of his sudden pivot caused Scully to stumble backward a couple of steps and her hand left his as he spun around to face her. "DON'T!" He yelled at her as he jabbed a long index finger into her chest, "DON'T YOU DARE USE HER TO GUILT TRIP ME INTO DOING THIS!" The anger in his hazel eyes matched that of the other night when he was in the grip of the nightmare, but this time Scully knew that the full force of his anger was now directed at her and her alone. " I'm sorry, " she kept her voice calm and low, " I didn't mean it to sound like that. You know I would NEVER do that to you," she put her hand again upon his arm and patted it gently. He relaxed a little and she couldn't help but feel that this little outburst was probably more directed at his parents than at her, even though her choice of words just now had been a poor one. " I just don't want to do this... " he repeated for the third time and he shook his head to emphasise his point, " this is just something that I never intended doing... you know? " She nodded sadly at him, " Mulder, if I could wish for anything at this moment... I'd wish that this last week of your life had never happened, " she gripped both his shoulders with her hands and gently shook them, " Jesus, Mulder, I'd even wish that the last twenty five years of your life hadn't happened if it would take away the pain that your feeling right now," her hands slipped down his arms until they held his hands softly in hers, " but I can't... all I can give you is my support and a promise that no matter what it takes, I'm gonna get you through this, " she gave him a small smile and squeezed his hands in hers. He ducked his head down and she thought that maybe he was hiding tears from her view. She was also aware that the funeral director had been watching them from his position behind a desk and would at any minute ask them if he could be of any help. She didn't want Mulder to have to show the extent of his grief to this man, even if he had dealt with grieving relatives everyday, this was much too personal to the tall man before her. " Would it help if I had a word with the funeral director? Maybe get him to make a few suggestions regarding the service, " she ducked her head a little to get some eye contact with his bowed head, " until your ready to proceed.... if that is still what you want to do." His head rose up and she could see the tracks on his face where the tears had been shed, "I never wanted to bury her, Scully. All I ever wanted to do was bring her home safely, " he furrowed his eyebrows into an intense frown that creased up his forehead and narrowed his still watery eyes, "I wonder what another Psychologist would make of me leaving out this scenario? " his voice was like that of a sad little boy and his shoulders shrugged as he finished his musing. " I don't know, Mulder, but I know what I would say? " she whispered and he raised his head further to meet her eyes. " I'd say that Samantha was blessed to have a brother like you. One who dedicated his entire adult life to search for her. It may not have turned out the way that you wanted it to, but you do have her back and she'll always have a safe and secure place right here, " she tapped the spot where his heart was in his chest lightly with her hand, " and that's more than many living sisters can say... " " Will you help me... " his voice broke off and he swallowed hard before continuing, " help me with the arrangements? I don't think I could do this on my own, Scully, " " Do you really need to ask, " she stood on tiptoe and ran her hands down his flushed cheeks to wipe away the evidence of his tears. She felt his hot face nuzzle briefly against the palm of her hand as she caressed his tears away and she felt an almost physical pain at the sorrow that she felt for him. How on earth could his mother betray him at a time like this? She just couldn't fathom it at all and the only thing her pondering did was to make her own resolve that much more stronger. " You know the Irish believe that a funeral and the wake thereafter should be a celebration of a life.... that it should be a happy occasion full of the joy for the memory of the departed and not remembered for the sorrow and misery of the final goodbye, " she took his hand in hers and walked them both slowly toward the awaiting funeral director who was watching them with a concerned look on his face, " I think we should treat Samantha's funeral the same way, as a celebration of a life tragically cut short... but we should also remember all the joy that she brought to your life, Mulder, and all the happy moments that you both shared together." She felt his fingers tighten on her hand as they finally reached the spot they had vacated minutes before. Mulder sat down unsteadily, his hand not leaving the warm grip of the woman next to him. His watery gaze met with that of the sombre looking funeral director across the polished desk. " We'd like to see a sample of your children's caskets.... preferably white... silk lined and brass handled. The floral arrangement should be lilies, irises and white roses..." his lips curled in a small smile, " oh... and daises.... as many daises as you can get...." he turned to Scully, " she always loved daises. She said the tall ones reminded her of me... " his eyes misted over, " I want her to have a reminder of me.... " Scully smiled and nodded slowly before turning her attention to the man behind the desk, " The service will be small, and conducted at the graveside, " she looked over at Mulder knowingly, a tender look in her eye, "and we'll be needing the Services of a Rabbi." She saw Mulder's eyes open wide at her revelation. "Preferably a Reform Rabbi not Orthodox and... " she stopped and stared at her wide eyed partner " I'm sorry, Mulder, I'm not as well educated in Judaism as I am in the Catholic traditions regarding funerals.... is the Kaddish a part of the normal service or will we have to ask for it separately? " His smile widened showing a row of pearly white teeth and his eyes told her that he was going to ask her later how she knew he had been brought up in the Jewish faith. He was especially interested as he had left it off of his records at the bureau. He also knew that she probably already knew the answer to her question and that she was using this moment to ask, in her own inimitable way, whether he approved. " It's a part of the traditional service, Dana, but thank you for asking," he knew his reply would be his own cryptic acceptance. " We would also like to hire the services of a groundskeeper, if that's necessary to keep the gravesite maintained, " she continued," we're out of town a lot and need somebody who will keep the site looked after until can get up to do it ourselves." She saw the deep look of gratitude cross over her partner's face, not only for the foresight she had shown, but also in the way in which she had included herself in the overall responsibility of the gravesite. " Is there anything else? " the funeral director asked as he finished scribbling down their details. " No, " Mulder replied appreciatively, " I think she's got it all covered." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Greenwich Meridian Motel, Greenwich, Connecticut, Later the same day... Skinner had been as good as his word and had sent all the relevant data that Scully had asked for up to her by messenger. The package had been awaiting her when she and Mulder had arrived back at the small hotel after spending that afternoon making the funeral arrangements. Luckily Mulder had gone straight to his room complaining of a headache and hadn't seen the large padded manila envelope that had been awaiting her in the lobby. Now that same envelope sat unopened upon the small writing desk in her room. Scully sat in the old overstuffed chair in the corner of the room staring fixatedly at the yellow envelope. She couldn't bring herself to open it. It was as if she knew deep down the contents already. < Well you know enough to already have a pretty good idea what it's gonna say, Dana, > she told herself, but still she made no move toward the package. She took a sip of the coffee that she had purchased in the lobby and savoured the bitter tasting liquid before swallowing. < Just do it, Dana. Get it over with. The sooner you open the damn thing... the sooner you'll know if your right. > she grimaced at the thought, < What if I am right? How can I tell him that? > Finally running out of anymore reasons not to open the envelope she stood and made her way to the table. Grasping the package in her hand tightly she proceeded to tear open the top and pull out the contents, placing them against the now redundant envelope. Slowly she started to read the data of the tests that she had asked to be carried out. Her blue eyes widened perceptively as she read the words and as she reached the last paragraph of the report she couldn't stop the gasp from escaping her now wide open mouth. " Oh.... sweet Mary mother of God!" She whispered to herself as she closed her eyes and pressed the sheets of paper tightly against her chest. When she opened them again she forced herself to re-read the last few paragraphs of the report to make perfectly sure that she hadn't missed anything. The results were even worse than she had first thought. She hadn't really been expecting any surprises, she had suspected most of what the report had confirmed for her, but the last few paragraphs had indeed held an extra secret that only now had been revealed. " Oh, Mulder, " she stared across the room at the communicating door knowing that he was probably sleeping soundly upon the other side, " why is it that your life just keeps getting more and more complicated? " She shook her head regretfully and sighed deeply. There was now no way that she would even contemplate keeping the information that she knew from him. Telling him, however, was going to be hard and she suspected that it would exact a high price from her.... maybe even cost her the precious relationship that she had nurtured between the tortured man next door and herself. She glanced briefly at her watch noticing that Mulder had been asleep for a couple of hours. Knowing how he rarely slept more than a few hours anyway, she knew that he would soon be rousing and that she could wait to give him the news. In the meantime she decided that in order to prepare herself she would take a quick shower and gather her thoughts. She locked the documents into her briefcase and quickly undressed. Grabbing her robe and toiletries, she went into the bathroom and started contemplating just how she was going to break this news to him. At the same time she couldn't help but wonder how he was going to take the startling revelations she had uncovered. Of more importance to her; was whether they'd still have any kind of a relationship left afterwards. End Part Six... Title: Wounded Heart. Part 7a/11 Author:Sherry Davis. E-mail:SherryDav@aol.com Greenwich Meridian Motel, Greenwich, Connecticut,7.15 p.m. She glanced at her reflection in the small vanity mirror and couldn't help but notice the worry that registered upon her pale face. She sighed. She had put this moment off long enough, if she didn't do this now then she knew that she'd never do it. Picking up her comb she took a few seconds to run it through the shiny auburn locks and watched as they fell into perfect place around her shoulders. Giving herself a last once over she turned and headed for the bed where the documents lay undisturbed upon its surface. She picked them up reluctantly and turned again, this time toward the door leading to Mulder's room. She knocked on the door lightly, almost hesitantly and waited for his signal for her to come in. " I'm decent, Scully, so you can come on in, " her hand went for the door handle, " although I could be lying in which case you may be about to get a thrill of a lifetime," she smiled to herself and wrenched the door open anyway stepping through quickly and shutting the door behind her in one swift movement. " It wouldn't be the first time I've seen you naked, Mulder." she replied in all seriousness, " Believe me you haven't got anything that I haven't seen before," she hid the small smile of pleasure with an effort as she registered his eyes widen at her remark. She was teasing him and she knew that he knew it. She leaned against the closed door and studied him for a moment taking her time to drink in the very essence of the man before her. He lay fully clothed upon the motel room bed one arm lazily propping up his head, while the other held the remote as he surfed the channels of the small tv in the corner of the room. His hair was tousled with wisps of hair flying in all directions like a schoolboy's and his eyes were a warm soft hazel. His long frame looked languid as it sprawled across the bed, his long legs crossed at the ankle and his bare feet poking out of his sweatpants. He looked more relaxed than he had in several days and Scully was loathe to break his good mood. Her stomach muscles tightened as she remembered the documents in her hand and the reason behind her appearance in his room tonight. Once again she couldn't stop her thoughts from wondering if their relationship would survive the conversation that they were about to embark upon. A deep pain filled her heart and emanated outward to all her extremities making them tingle with the dullness of the fearful ache that she had inside. She couldn't lose his friendship, it meant way too much to her, but right now she knew she was about to gamble with it and all because Skinner had deemed it fit to hide something from the original report. Something that she had allowed to be hidden. Now she must face the consequences for both their actions and she wondered if the price may be one that was too high to pay. " How's the headache? " she asked as a means of starting the overdue conversation. " Down to a dull thud. I think the couple of hours sleep did me some good, " he shifted a little on the mattress and glanced toward her, " to what do I owe the pleasure of your company tonight?" She took a couple of steps in from the door and nodded toward the softly playing tv set in the corner, " could you turn that off, Mulder, we need to talk." His face changed from relaxed to tense in the space of a heartbeat as he took in the seriousness of her voice and he complied with her wishes and turned the tv off. The room fell silent and he glanced at her again. Her posture was rigid and tense, she looked worried and that in itself alerted him that something was wrong, but he didn't know what. His eyes wandered over her body until they came to rest on the documents that she was holding limply in her right hand. His eyes narrowed in curiosity. " What's that? " he jutted his chin out in the direction of her hand. " The reason I need to talk to you, " she replied quietly and he saw that her eyes refused to meet his. " Scully... " he sat up straighter on the bed and locked his gaze on the small frame of his partner, "what's going on?" She crossed rigidly to the bed and sat down upon its edge, the mattress barely moving under her weight as she fidgeted to get in a comfortable position. She placed the documents that she held on the surface between them, but as Mulder moved to take them in his hand she stopped him by placing her own hand over them, palm down. " Before you read these I need to tell you something, " her eyes finally rose to meet with his and he drew back physically as he registered the look of fear and worry that he saw in their blue depths. Scully took a moment to compose herself before she continued. He watched as her eyes slid shut and she inhaled deeply, almost as though she were getting ready to do battle. His body broke out in a prickly sweat as his mind tried to fathom that concept. Her eyes opened once again and found his, "I've been keeping something from you. Something that's been witheld from the original report that the Medical Examiner made on Samantha's autopsy." " What are you talking about? " Mulder's voice was low and soft in the silent room. " There was something in the original report that was missing from the file that Skinner sent to us at the airport... " she hesitated trying to find the right words to use to make this easier, but unfortunately none were forthcoming, " Skinner thought... " she shook her head, "No, that's not right, in a way it was a joint decision...." she cleared her throat, " thought that maybe something's were better left unsaid... at least for the time being." " What kind of things? " there was a flicker of anger in his voice as she knew there would be. " Mulder.. " " What kind of things, Scully? " his voice was more forceful now and his irritability was gaining strength. " Mulder, you have to try and understand that we thought we were doing the right thing. You were already so grief-stricken, we didn't think we could add this to your burden. I didn't know if you could take knowing the full extent of..." He broke in angrily, " Stop stalling, Scully, and answer the fucking question? What did you hold back from me? What was so fucking bad that you and Skinner felt you had to protect my already bruised psyche from it? " his eyes bored into hers with a firey glint to them. She stared into his gleaming eyes sadly. She couldn't think of a single thing to say that would deaden the blow that he was about to receive. There was no way that she could sweeten the bitter pill that she was about to make him swallow. She knew how much this was going to hurt him and she felt totally powerless to stop it. Her eyes filled with unaccustomed tears as she realised that she had to just come out and say the words and then hope he would still allow her to pick up the pieces that would be left after this bombshell was dropped. " She was raped. He raped her, Mulder, " her voice shook and cracked on his name. Mulder jerked back at her words as though stung by them. His mouth opened and his lips tried to form words, but none came out. She could see his tongue moving against the palate at the top of his mouth, his head was trying to shake in denial to her words but his body just couldn't move. Tears filled his eyes and he tried to blink them away repeatedly. A tear poised on the tip of one of his long lashes ready to fall onto his cheek. He just stared at her in numbed silence. " The Medical Examiner found traces of semen on the remains of her clothing... of course because of the skeletal remains we can't be sure that full penetration took place, but the presence of semen suggests that... " she broke off abruptly and ran a hand over her eyes. God she had sounded so damn clinical as though she were speaking to him about any other case. He didn't need this right now... he didn't need a fucking blow by blow description, that more than likely was already going on in his head. The room became so quite that she wondered whether if she listened hard enough she would hear their hearts thudding in their chests. Mulder was still silent although he had closed his mouth, but his eyes were still glowing like hot coals behind the watery shield of his unshed tears. " How long have you known? " he bit out the question between tightly clenched teeth and she thought that was a sign of him trying desperately to hold onto his composure in her presence. " Since the meeting in Skinner's office. Although I didn't make the connection with your father until your memory of that night returned. Once I made the connection, I had some tests ran at Quantico using your father's DNA sample that we have on file. The results arrived by messenger today," she took her hand off the pile of documents that she had been resting it on, " all the data is here for you to look at along with the original Medical Examiner's report." " Three days, " Mulder mumbled under his breath. He brushed the stubborn tear away with the back of his hand and glared at her again, " you knew for three days and you didn't tell me!" The accusation in his voice was more than evident to her as well as the hurt that he felt from her withholding any kind of information from him. " Mulder, you were already hurting so much... " she stopped when he intensified the glare even further. She tapped her thumb and forefinger against her lips before opening them and letting her teeth graze against the sensitive pads in nervous frustration, " I'm sorry... I thought I was doing the right thing." " So what happened? " he spat at her contemptuously, " get a guilty conscience, " he suddenly jumped up off the bed and stalked around the room, " I thought I could trust you, Scully." " You can.. " she replied. " No. I can't... you kept this from me, " his voice was beginning to rise again, " you and Skinner decided to keep me out of the loop. If you can do it on this... then how do I know you don't do it on other things that you both don't want me to know? " " Mulder, that's ridiculous. This is the first time that I've done something like this.... " she ran a hand through her hair, " do you think this was easy for me.... to watch you trying so hard to keep everything together... watching you make it through the darkest couple of days of your life when all the time I knew there was more pain to come.... that wasn't easy, Mulder." " Then WHY did you do it? WHY did you betray my trust in YOU!" he slammed his fist into the table by the window wanting nothing more than to lash out at something... anything than the woman in the room with him. " I swear to you, Mulder, you can still trust me. Don't you understand that I couldn't take the risk of telling you so soon after you finding her body. You were so close to the edge that I was frightened, Mulder. I was frightened that if I told you it would push you over that edge and you'd never come back. Never come back to ME!" She stopped short knowing that she had already probably said too much, but also knowing that in his anger he hadn't really listened to her anyway. " I would NEVER have done this to you, Scully, " he stated vehemently, " Never!" " But you already have, Mulder." That brought him up short and he spun around to stare at her, the anger in his eyes still evident and smouldering. " I have NEVER... " he began, but she broke in before he could finish. " My ova! " that's all she said as she returned to the bed and sat down again on its edge. He didn't have an answer to that. It was true and he knew that she knew it. He had kept her out of the loop that time because he felt that she wouldn't be able to take the news of her sterility on top of the diagnosis of her cancer. But that had been different. Hadn't it? All of a sudden his legs were refusing to take his weight and he felt that he had to sit down before he collapsed. He glanced at the bed, but Scully was sitting there and he didn't really trust himself being that close to her just yet. He settled for the old overstuffed chair next to the table and sunk down into it heavily. " That was different, " he finally said. " How so? " she countered. " You had just been diagnosed with cancer... " he replied quickly. " You had just been told that your sister was dead... " she retorted, but without any malice in her voice, " there's no difference, Mulder. Let's cut the fucking crap and face the truth," she saw him glance up at her with wide eyes at her use of an unaccustomed expletive. " We're both capable of withholding things from each other.... but thankfully we only do it in an effort, albeit an misguided one, to protect the other. That's all I was doing, Mulder, even though I knew it was wrong. Even though I knew you would react in just this way. I was only trying to protect you from more pain. Just as you did when you withheld the information about my inability to have children." He winced at her choice of words even though he knew that it was the truth. No matter how he tried to avoid it he also knew that she was right that they did withhold things from each other. Personal things.... things that each of them knew the other may not want to hear and sometimes if he were honest with himself he withheld things from himself too.... emotions that he wasn't entirely ready to explore yet. Even so, it still made it hard for his stubborn character to forgive her easily. " Is there anything else your withholding, Scully? Anything else that I need to know? " He saw her take a deep breath and he sighed loudly, " Oh God! There's more... isn't there? " She nodded slowly at him and nibbled at her bottom lip with her teeth, " but it's nothing that's been kept from you," < not that it makes it any better,> she thought to herself, " it's something that was thrown up when they did the tests that I had asked for," she gathered up the papers on the bed and held them out to him, "maybe it would be better if you just read the results for yourself." He shook his head and waved the papers away, " You know I don't understand that scientific stuff, you'd only have to explain it to me anyhow.... so spill it, Scully." " I think I know why your father was so upset the night of Samantha's death," he cocked his head at her in surprise, " I think somehow he found out the same thing I did today." " What was that? " he asked quietly, not even knowing whether he was ready to absorb even more revelations about his family. " There's no easy way to say this... " she bit down on her lip again nervously, " but it would appear from the DNA analysis that Samantha was not your father's daughter." " What!?" he leaned forward in his chair, " That can't be." " I'm afraid it is. The tests prove it conclusively. Your father was not Samantha's biological father." Mulder digested this new information as he sat silently in the chair. His father had brutally raped his eight year old sister and then murdered her. Suddenly his sister's screams inside that locked bedroom took on a whole new meaning. < Oh Christ... Oh, Jesus Christ.... > his hands began to shake in earnest as his mind supplied him with the memories of those last few moments. Sam's frantic screams for her father to stop hurting her. His banging and kicking of the bedroom door. His sister's last strangled cries. < No! Daddy..... No! > He screwed his eyes shut as the pain engulfed him again. His hands clenched shakily at his side into a fist and he beat them against his thighs to counteract the pain that his mind was supplying. " Jesus! " he said as he finally managed to get control of his voice, " That's why he said the things he said, " he ran a trembling hand through his hair, " he must have found out my Mom was playing away from home," he stared at nothing for a while as his mind contemplated this information, then he looked directly at Scully. " Am I my father's son? " he asked in a dull whisper. " Yes, " she replied and she saw his shoulders sag. She guessed that maybe he was hoping that he wasn't related to that sick son of a bitch, but that hadn't been the case. " So Samantha was only my half sister then, " it was a sad statement rather than a question and Scully left it unanswered. " She was still your sister, Mulder, whether you shared the same father or not." He nodded weakly in agreement and ran a hand once again through his hair in deep thought. Scully sat in silence watching as the inner turmoil played out upon her partner's expressive face. The pain and fear that she saw soon gave way to revulsion at his father's acts. That emotion was soon superseded by anger and his countenance suddenly became dark. " That FILTHY sonofabitch! That lying... sick .... fucking bastard..." tears brimmed and fell down his cheeks, his hand lashed out at the nearby table and picked up the nearest object. He hurled it with all his might at the nearest wall and it smashed into tiny pieces before falling into a heap on the floor. " He lied to me for years, " he stood up rigidly, " that motherfucker made me believe that I had lost her... that I had let them take her away, " he began to slowly pace back and forth like a caged tiger, " he knew what he had done all along and those bastards he worked with covered it up, " a sob broke from his chest, " He raped her! That. Filthy. Lying. Sonovabitch. Raped Her!!! " He made a noise that sounded like a wounded animal. A long keening wail of anguish and pain. He needed to feel the pain and before he knew what he was doing he had crossed to the wall and began repeatedly smashing his fist into it. The pain of the impact shot up his arm, white hot and intoxicating. His mind vaguely registered Scully shouting at him to stop, but he ignored her and continued to take out his anger on the motel room wall. Scully was forced into action as she watched his fist make contact with the hard wall over and over again. His knuckles split and tiny rivulets of blood smeared the old faded wallpaper. She rushed from her place on his bed and pulled back his arm before he could do more damage to himself. He froze. Slowly he looked down at her hands holding his elbow in check and his eyes registered the blood that was trickling over his hand. He looked back at his partner, her wide eyes telegraphing to him her fear and concern for his welfare. He pulled his arm away from her sharply and allowed a cold glance to pass across his face. She wasn't forgiven for keeping this information from him. Right now he couldn't bear her touching him... let alone her concern. " Mulder, " her voice was soft and low and there was an unmistakable edge of guilt attached to it, " please don't shut me out, Mulder... " He took a step away from her and then another, distancing himself physically from her. He watched as her chin dipped down onto her chest in resignation at his defensive posture. He thought he could detect the faintest hitch of her shoulders as though she were holding back a sob. " I'm gonna go for a run, " he stood up and crossed to the closet. He took out his running shoes and rummaged in the nearest drawer for some socks to put on, " I need some time alone to think things through, " he finished dressing and headed for the front door, " I need to think < all > of this through, " he reached for the door handle ignoring Scully still standing in the same spot, " don't wait up, Scully. I don't know how long I'll be gone, " he stepped through the door and closed it behind him. The room was suddenly unbearably quiet. She stood still in the silence gazing at the door he had walked through before slowly scrutinising the rest of the room. The papers that she had brought with her were still lying in a heap in the centre of the bed. She crossed to them and picked them up squinting in the dull light to read the words printed on them. In a fit of pure anger that surprised her in its sudden ferocity she spun around and hurled the papers at the far wall. The documents broke apart from their bindings and fluttered around the room, gently coming to a rest in a puddle on the floor. She sank down onto the mattress her head going into her hands. " Bastard! " she screamed through her hands, " You bastard... Bill Mulder. How could you do this to him? " a sob that she had been holding back broke free, followed hot on its tail by the first of her tears, " how can you do this to me? " She sank back further onto the mattress tucking herself into a protective ball, her arms hugging her knees as she let the tears fall. Is this what the Consortium wanted? To tear Mulder apart blow by sickening blow. Losing his quest for his sister. Losing his belief in the memories that he had adhered to for decades and by a lack of judgement on her part... losing her in the process. Was this how it was all going to finally end? Her sobs gave way to punctuated hiccups until her breathing evened out and she fell into a tortured slumber curled up in the centre of Mulder's bed. End Part 7a... Title: Wounded Heart. Part 7b/11 Author:Sherry Davis. E-mail:SherryDav@aol.com Greenwich Meridian Motel, Greenwich, Connecticut,11.21pm. She felt the heavy dip of the mattress next to her body and awoke with a start. A warm pair of hands grasped her shoulders and pushed her gently, but firmly back upon the bed. " Relax, it's only me, Scully, it's okay. Go back to sleep, " his soothing voice forced its way into her sleep fogged brain and she felt a comforting warmth at its sound. He smelt of shower gel and shampoo and his still damp hair brushed against her neck as she felt him nestle down next to her upon the bed. " I should go, " she started to say sleepily and made to rise again only to be gently lowered to the bed once more. " There's no reason for you to go," she felt him brush her hair away from her forehead and opened her eyes. The room was dark apart from the moonlight that filtered through the open curtains to cast an almost eerie silver light across the bed, " your tired go back to sleep." She felt him shift the comforter from under them and then the warmth and comforting weight of the duvet covered her body along with his. " Mulder, " she mumbled. " Shush, it's late, " he snuggled in close to her and she could feel the heat of his body through the thin T-shirt that she wore. " I still think it would be better if I spent the night in my own room, " she said half heartedly and she knew he had picked up on it as he chuckled lightly next to her. " Whatsamatter, Scully, don't you trust me? " he asked in a low whisper. " I don't think I trust myself," she whispered back just as softly. He chuckled again against her back and then surprised the hell out of her by slipping his arms around her waist and pulling her body back against him until he was spooning his body around hers. " Take the sweatpants off, Dana, " he told her and he felt her stiffen in his embrace. "What!?" She almost stammered the question and heat suffused her cheeks, burning them until she thought they might be glowing in the darkened room. Mulder laughed throatily behind her and she could feel the warmth of his breath on her face. " There too restrictive. You won't be able to sleep comfortably with them on, " he whispered in her ear, " take them off." " There no different from pyjama bottoms, Mulder, and I think it'll be safer if I keep them on, " she felt rather than heard the mirth in his body at her reply. " You can rest assured that your perfectly safe with me, Dana. I swear I won't molest you in the night.... unless you want to be molested of course.... in which case I'm your man." Was he testing her trust in him? Was that what all this was about? Did he think they needed testing in how far they could trust one another? She sighed to herself and began fidgeting around in the bed. A moment later the sweatpants along with her socks were discarded over the side of the bed. She was more than aware that she was now dressed in nothing more than a flimsy T-shirt, no bra and a pair of bikini briefs. What's more here she was in her partner's bed with his lanky body practically wrapped around hers. If this is what he needed to prove that their trust in one another was still intact who was she to deny him. Anyway she had to admit it felt good to have his body nestled against hers. " Nite, Mulder, " she said around a yawn and she felt him tighten his hold on her. " Nite, Scully, " he replied, she relaxed again and found that she wasn't that far away from sleep, but just as she began to doze off he spoke again, " I'm sorry, " he whispered. " I deserved it, Mulder. In fact I was half expecting it, so don't beat yourself up over it." " Still.... you were only trying to do the right thing, " she felt his lips brush against her hair before moving away. Against her better judgement she turned around in the bed to face him. His eyes were hooded in the dark light of the room, but she could make out the whites of his eyes as he gazed at her. " Mulder I deserved everything I got. I felt like a shit withholding that information from you. The only consolation I had for doing it was the fact that I didn't think that you could mentally handle it, but it didn't stop me from still feeling like a total shit!" His arms tightened fractionally around her body and he gave her a gentle squeeze, "I'm the shit," he stated matter of factly. "I keep things from you too, like not telling you about the ova. Then I expect < you > to be the more noble one of the partnership and tell me everything. You could say I got my just dessert today." " For what it's worth I've already forgiven you for not telling me about the ova, " came her whispered reply, " don't get me wrong! I was as mad as hell at you when I found out, but deep down I could understand why you did it." He bent down before she could stop him and brushed his lips against hers tenderly. " I'd say that our slates are now clean, wouldn't you? " He leaned in and brushed her lips again, slower this time and more deliberately. " Let's just forget about it, okay? " and as his lips approached this time she dodged them. " Scully?... " he enquired. " I think it's safer if we just both went to sleep, " she whispered as she gazed up into his eyes. Eyes that were now twinkling again even in the dark with his restrained mischief. " I've never liked safe, Scully, " he declared as he moved his hands to cup her face between them, " safe just isn't in my vocabulary." He pulled her toward him and captured her lips with his, holding her face still in his hands as his lips gently moved over hers. Alarm bells were ringing loud and clear in Scully's head, but somehow her body was ignoring them. She found her own hands slipping up his chest. A chest that was exquisitely bare and firm, with a delectable mound of soft, silky chest hair that at this very second she was running her fingers through. Oh Lord, what on earth was she doing? His lips were soft and warm as they nuzzled over hers, nipping and tugging at her bottom lip trying to tease her into opening her mouth for his full assault. His tongue brushed against her lips and she was gone. She opened up to him on a soft moan and felt the wet slide of his tongue as it slipped into her mouth to run over her teeth. Her hands ran over his chest and shoulders until they reached his neck. There she ran them up into his still damp hair and pulled him down further toward her to deepen the kiss. His body moved then to cover hers with his warm weight, she shifted under him and spread her legs to accommodate his body cradling his pelvis in between the softness of her thighs. Then she felt him through the material of his boxers. He was rock solid and she could feel him pulsating against her thigh. She pulled back from the kiss and took air into her oxygen starved lungs. Her lips trembled from the force of their kisses and her body shook from the fire that was threatening to consume her. She stared silently up into eyes that she knew would be filled with desire for her. Her partner lay atop her quivering body, his weight being comfortably taken on his forearms so as not to crush her, his own ragged breath coming out in small puffs that stirred her hair. " I could tell you not to think about this, Scully, to just feel, but I know that's not who you are, " his soft whisper ruffled the hair against her cheek as he spoke and it brushed softly against her skin, " so instead I'm gonna ask you to take your time.... to think this through because no matter how much I want to make love to you right now... It's more important to me that you don't regret it in the morning. " He kissed her cheek softly before rolling off of her body to lay on his back next to her. A wave of affection shot through her body. How many men would have done that for her? How many would have pulled themselves back from the brink in order for her to be the one to decide whether they took this any further or not? She knew most men wouldn't have been so chivalrous in the circumstances, but somehow Mulder had picked up on her own hesitancy. God it had all happened so fast. One minute they were talking and the next... the next they were an hair's breadth away from making love. She tried to steady her breathing until it was less ragged and more even. Her body missed the warmth of his covering her even though the comforter still draped across her. She could feel her heart thudding loudly in her chest and for the first time she became acutely aware of the wet, sticky feeling of her own arousal as it cooled in the crotch of her panties. Jesus what were they about to do? Alright she knew what they were about to do, they were about to careen madly out of control on a cocktail of hormones. But she had wanted it too, hadn't she? Christ how could she deny it.. the bloody evidence was all over her panties for godsake! As though to further answer her own question, her groin began to throb with an urgency that she had nearly forgotten that it was capable of. She wanted him, she could no longer deny that.... not just any man, but him. Mulder. She had known it for a long time, but had steadfastly refused to do anything about it. Now it would appear that fate and circumstance were conspiring to do it for her. Was it right to do this now? What if he were only reacting to the great levels of stress that he had been under these last few days? What if she were? She had to know.... she had to ask him. " Mulder.. " her voice was soft and timid even to her own ears. " Hmm, " she felt him shift onto his side, but he didn't touch her. He was keeping his distance so as not to influence what had to be in the end her decision. " Did you want to make love to just any woman tonight.... or was it specifically me? " " You already know the answer to that question, Dana, " his voice was low and soft and the way he said her Christian name sent a thrill through her body. " Maybe I do... but I still need to hear you say it, Mulder." " I only wanted to make love to you, Dana. I still only want to make love to you, " his hand rested gently on her abdomen and she felt the weight of it rise and fall with every breath that she took. She had the confirmation that she had needed. Now it was up to her to make the final decision. What would she do? Stop things now before everything went too far... or take this moment between them to its ultimate destination... to the place that she knew they had been heading for since the day she walked into his life five years before. It was strange in a way because she felt no fear, no apprehension whatsoever. Maybe it was knowing that this had always been an inevitable outcome or maybe it was because of the total trust that she felt in the man lying next to her. She didn't know. At this point she didn't really care. She turned slowly onto her side and stared up into the darkened shadows where Mulder's face gazed at her. She wished that she could see his face if only to read his eyes, but somehow it seemed right to do this the first time in the dark. There would be many times for them to watch each other in the future, but right now all she really wanted to do was feel. Her hand reached out and cupped his face feeling the prickly sensation of his stubble as it grazed the palm of her hand. " No regrets, Mulder, " she wasn't totally sure, but she thought she saw the gleam of his teeth as he smiled at her. " Do you trust me, Scully? " He asked her and she felt his warm hand stroke up the inside of her arm. The feelings that that innocent gesture evoked almost stopped her from answering his question, but at the last second she was able to pull her thoughts together enough to answer him. " With my life, " she said. " What about with your body, Dana, and more importantly, what about with your heart? " She took a moment to process what he had said. As always with Mulder he was asking a very different question than the one that had been posed. Of course he wanted an answer to that one also, but more important to him was knowing that she understood that what they were about to embark upon meant more to him than the purely physical. " I trust you with everything that I am, Mulder. Everything. " He moved to take her into his arms and pulled her over his prone body. His hand went to the nape of her neck and tangled in her hair as it spilled out over his fingers. His other hand drew down her back and rested in that special place that she had come to call his. It stilled at the small of her back and he stroked her there softly. " Be very aware that this is much more than a roll in the hay with me, " his voice was all seriousness. He wanted her to know the full extent of what getting involved with him could mean, "I never do things by halves, Dana, you know that about me. That extends into my sex life too. I'm intense... sometimes I think I'm too intense, but that's just the way I am." Her fingers grazed across his jaw before smoothing over his lips. He shuddered at the touch and drew in a gasp of air. " I can take whatever you have to give, Mulder, don't you know that by now?" Her fingers stopped their perusal of his lips and she replaced them with her tongue, brushing it swiftly over the surface of his bottom lip. His body tensed below her and his hips rose slightly off the bed to rub sensually against hers. " It's not about what you can take, Scully, " he replied a little breathlessly. He was fighting against his body's instinct to cut out the talking and just get on with the physical part of loving her, but he desperately needed to get things straight with her. He couldn't allow himself to take her body without her knowing exactly what that entailed, " it's more a question of what you can give?" He drew her to him and touched his lips against hers tenderly. She made to deepen the contact, but he drew back and ran his hand down one pale cheek, "As far as I'm concerned this is the real thing. Should we become lovers tonight it will be forever." His hand stilled at her jaw and he gently ran his thumb across her bottom lip mirroring the actions of her tongue on his lip seconds before. " Can you give me that kind of commitment, Scully? Because if you can't... if all your thinking about is a short term relationship... then I don't want to know. I'm sorry, but with me it's all or nothing. I've been hurt too many times in the past to contemplate anything else." All or nothing. Was she ready for that kind of a commitment? She didn't think that she had ever given all of herself to anyone, certainly not with Jack and that had been her last serious relationship. Could she do that with Mulder? Could she give herself entirely to him? Body. Mind. and Soul? It would mean opening up to him on a level that they had never allowed before. To let him know all her secrets... all her fears.... all the things she kept locked up tight inside. Could she really do that? Christ she had wanted to. For most of her adult life she had yearned to share these things with someone... to share it with the one person who would be the love of her life.... the man she would share the rest of her life with. Was Mulder that man? Forever. The word scared her, it scared the shit out of her, but only because of the meaning behind it. Forever meant life. He was asking her to spend the rest of her life with him. Nobody could truly say that they entered any relationship with a view to forever. Even married couples would be lying if they said that they did. Nothing was ever that concrete. That cut and dried. People changed over time.... sometimes they grew apart... it happens... it was a fact of life. Could he really love her forever? Could she love him for that long? Did he really understand what he was saying, what he was asking of her? " Mulder, have you really thought this through? " She asked him softly, " I mean your asking me for a lifetime commitment here. Do you understand what that means? " " I know exactly what that means, Dana. I know what I'm asking of you. It's what I want more than anything in the world. It's what I realised I wanted so much when I thought I was losing you to the cancer. I know what I'm saying." " I can't give you children," her voice was low and timid, "I'll never be able to give you children, Mulder. We'll never be a true family." " We can adopt, " he replied matter of factly, " or we can look into other methods of conception, like donor eggs." " I'm not sure I could do that. If I decided that my infertility meant never having children in our lives, could you agree to that? " " I'd hope that you would include me in the discussion, Dana. That sounded awfully like you would make the decision independently." " I can't believe we're even having this conversation. One minute were talking... the next we're on the verge of making love and now we're having a deep meaningful conversation about whether or not we're gonna have children." " Do you love me, Scully? " He suddenly asked. " Where the hell did that come from? " She replied shocked at his sudden change of subject. " Do you? " He continued before she could answer, " I know I love you. I know I'm in love with you, whether we have children or not isn't gonna change that fact one iota. It's you I want. It's you I want to make love to all night. You I want to be with for the rest of my life. Children, Dana, whether we had them naturally or not would only be the icing on the cake." She felt his hand link with hers, his long fingers spreading hers apart and interlocking with them, " So... the real question is: Are you in love with me and can you spend the rest of you life with me?" He drew her to him for another long and hunger filled kiss. His erection that had never truly gone away tightened even further as he felt her body respond to him. Her nipples hardened against the fabric of her thin T-shirt, he could feel them as they brushed against his chest. Her legs parted and came down on either side of his, cradling his now throbbing manhood against the warm heat emanating from her own aroused centre. Scully broke the kiss and nuzzled against his neck,"Keep kissing me like that G-Man and I'll agree to anything." " Just answer the question G- Woman." " There's been so many I don't know if I remember which one I'm supposed to be answering? " " Scully... " he said warningly. " Okay, okay... " she sat up quickly and straddled his body with her smaller one. Reaching across him she found the nightstand and switched on the light. The room was suddenly bathed in a harsh yellow glare and it took them both a few seconds to adjust to the sudden brightness. " Scully, what the hell... " " I wanted you to be able to see me. I want you to be able to look into my eyes and know I'm telling you the truth." " What truth? " he asked and suddenly he wasn't so sure he wanted the answer. " That I love you and I want to commit to you. Tonight. Now. In this bed.. " with that she pulled the T-shirt off her body and threw it over the edge of the bed onto the floor below, " so no more stalling G-Man and get that mouth working." End Part 7b... Title: Wounded Heart. Part 8a/11 Author:Sherry Davis. E-mail:SherryDav@aol.com Greenwich Meridian Motel, Greenwich, Connecticut,11.50pm. ** NC17 ** She bent forward and her naked breasts pressed against his bare chest. She tipped up his chin and clamped her mouth over his, sucking his tongue into her mouth as she delved her own into his warm moist depths. He groaned loudly, his hands running up her back as he pushed her tighter against him. He rolled them over until he was covering her body with his. He kissed her slow and languidly allowing his hardened body to rub teasingly over hers, swallowing her gasp of pure pleasure with his mouth. One hand trailed lazily down her body, across her shoulder and down her arm. His fingertips light with their touch, causing goosebumps to break out wherever they passed. " Nice and slow, Scully. I'm gonna make love to you nice and slow, " his husky whisper caused her body to jerk as his words, concocting erotic images in her mind. He pulled back a little and she felt the cool air wash over her hot skin. Her nipples puckered and hardened until they were two sharp points digging into his chest hair. He began to rain small, tender open mouth kisses over her shoulders and chest. His body moved slowly down hers, his silky chest hair brushed across her oversensitive nipples and she couldn't help but moan. " I don't think I'm gone survive nice and slow," she gasped as she brought her arms up around his shoulders and gripped him tightly. Already her groin was throbbing incessantly with her need to have his length tightly sheathed inside of her. She thrust up against him, rotating her hips so that they made the longest contact against his own arousal," how about we change that to wild and fast?" His light laughter rumbled across his chest as he lent down to quickly brush his lips over the tip of her taut peak. He was rewarded with a sharp cry from the woman under him, so he latched onto the hardened nipple and sucked it into his mouth, laving it with his tongue and teasing it with his teeth. Dana's hips began to rock sensuously against his groin and his arousal hardened further as he began to feel the extent of the heat and dampness that was congregating between the apex of her thighs. " So long... I've waited so long for this... " his voice was breathy and low, the warm air from his mouth played over her breast mingling with the traces of his saliva where he had been sucking on her nipple. The combination of cooling liquid and hot air tightened the sensitive nubbin further until it was almost a pain in itself. " Touch me... " she let out a hoarse cry as his tongue flicked again against her breast, " God... please... touch me." Her hand found his and began to push it slowly down her body until it rested on a warm thigh. He didn't need anymore motivation as he trailed his fingers across the heated skin of her inner thigh toward the source of her arousal. His fingers made contact with the sodden material of her panties, he could feel the heat emanating from her lower body and he groaned at the feeling of her wetness on the tips of his fingers. Teasingly he began to trail his hand over and around the shape of her folds, and a wave of male satisfaction washed over him as he felt another gush of warm, wet liquid stain the thin material. " Mulder.... don't. tease, " Scully half sobbed, " take them off." She pushed her hips off the mattress so that his hands could lower the drenched material. Long, tender fingers glided up her outer thighs to rest lightly against her hips and the waistband of her panties, but he didn't take them off. Instead his mouth kissed and nipped at her flushed flesh as he steadily made his way down her body. Reaching her small concaved stomach he stopped to brush tiny featherlight kisses around her navel. Dana could only gasp at the contact and push her hips further toward him. Words couldn't begin to describe just how frantic she was beginning to feel. She knew where his mouth was heading and her mind was already envisioning how his mouth was going to excite her there. Her centre was pulsing constantly in time with the rapid beat of her heart and her inner muscles, so underused until now, were beginning to twitch with expectation. The tip of his tongue trailed across her stomach and it made her flinch as he hit a particularly sensitive area, she felt his lips pull back in a wicked smile and she knew that he had stored away that piece of information for later use. "Jerk!" She tried to sound as though she were rebuking him, but it came out as a low breathy moan and he tormented her further by running his tongue over the area again almost causing her to leap off the mattress. His fingers gripped the waistband of her panties ready to pull them down, his eyes sought out hers and she couldn't help noticing how dark and sultry they had become as he stared up over her near naked body. He grinned at her slyly before his hands began there slow descent over her hips lowering her underwear, his head dipped down so that he could watch her aroused lower body being uncovered for his perusal. His tongue unconsciously snaked out of his mouth and wetted his lips. Scully closed her eyes in sweet anticipation of what that tongue was about to do to her. " Where the hell did that come from? " his sudden clear and concerned voice caused her eyes to pop open again with a start. Pushing herself up onto her elbows she looked down her body to see Mulder staring intently at the deep purple/black bruise that adorned her left hip. " It's nothing, Mulder, " she said almost absently as her mind and other parts of her body were trying to concentrate on more pressing needs. " Did I do this to you? " his eyebrows furrowed with the question. Scully almost let out a frustrated sob. Christ. Mulder's timing was as impeccable as ever. Trust him to get a guilt attack during foreplay, " I've told you... it's nothing. Forget about it." His fingers brushed over and around the bruised area tenderly and there was a look of utter sadness and shame upon his face, " It happened the other night, didn't it. During my nightmare." Scully couldn't hold back the long drawn out sigh from escaping her lips. She sagged back upon the bed and stared at the ceiling, " Don't do this now, Mulder." Her body was still in the grips of arousal and she desperately wanted him to finish what he had started, " Please.... let's not get into this. This is not what I need right now, " she sighed again heavily. The room was silent. The tension, sexual and otherwise, was almost palpable. " Is this what you need right now? " She felt a strong tug against her upper thighs and the sound of material tearing. She shot up again on her elbows to see Mulder holding what was left of her underwear in his hand. As he took in her shocked look he bunched up the sodden garment and held it against his nose and inhaled sharply. Scully's vagina suddenly clenched in response to his actions and she stifled a gasp. " I wonder if you taste as good as you smell, " his dilated pupils glinted with a darkness as black as coal and Scully's mouth went dry with his implications. His large, warm hands made there way to her knees and pulled them up so that her feet were braced on the soft mattress. He pushed her feet further back until they were touching her ass before slowly prising her knees apart and settling his eyes on her swollen, glistening labia. The heady, musky aroma of pure arousal filled the room and permeated Scully's nostrils. God it had been such a long time since anything like this had happened to her. She was transfixed as she watched her partner's hot gaze almost scorch her with its intensity. His lips twitched up into a small smile of satisfaction and his eyes locked again with hers. " Your pooling, Dana... it's dripping from you." she felt the heat rising in her face and she knew she was blushing profusely. "It's beautiful." He lent inward, his hands coming down on either side of her spread knees. His head dropped downward, his tongue poked out between his lips and he ran his tongue up the full length of her exposed folds from opening to clitoris, scooping up the sweet nectar of her inner juices. " Aaaahhh... Jeeessssuuusss... Ceerrhhh...rrrissist. " Scully's voice exploded from her mouth and she fell back against the mattress. All she could feel was the sensation of his pebbled tongue lapping at her most intimate places. Her legs were trembling and sweat began to dot her brow and upper lip. Over and over again his tongue touched her. Covering all of her in one maddeningly long, sensuous lick. He lapped at her like a cat, tasting her, drinking from her pool of flowing liquid. Her head began to move from side to side on the bed, her hands clenched at the sheets and bunched them tightly in her fists. Her hips were moving of their own volition against his mouth, grinding and thrusting wanting to make even deeper contact with his tongue as it played with her. " Mulder.. " she moaned, " Mulder... please.... please.... " she could hear him making small inarticulate noises against her and his hands came up to steady her legs as they threatened to collapse under his onslaught. His tongue brushed across her quicker this time and then quicker still, flicking at her labia and swirling around her clitoris. She cried out and arched upward and Mulder's hands pushed her back down upon the bed, " Yeeessss. ohmygod.... ohmygod.... " she was thrashing madly against him all thoughts of control and composure slipping from her mind, " touch it again..... please.... please, Mulder.... touch it again..... " His hands slid over her sweaty thighs to her warm, wet pubic mound and she felt him gently easing apart her genital lips to reveal the bundle of nerves that it protected. She clenched her eyes tightly shut as the tip of his tongue flicked at her throbbing clitoris, the sensitive nerves caused her vagina to twitch and clench as her body began its climb toward orgasm. His tongue was replaced with his middle finger and it stroked her slowly, building up the exquisite pressure of release gradually. Even with her eyes clenched shut she knew he was watching her. Watching her reactions to his intimate stimulation of her body. She was hot all over and perspiration was now sliding slowly between the valley of her breasts. " Your beautiful, Scully, " he whispered in a hoarse like voice, " I never dreamed you would look this beautiful during the throes of passion." His lips caressed and kissed her thighs as his finger continued to work over her, " Come for me, Scully. Let me watch you... as you come for me." " Yes.. please.... please... " she was panting wildly, her breath caught somewhere deep in her chest. His tongue went back upon her and she whimpered in delight, a second later two long fingers parted her and pushed there way inside her. She arched off the bed and began pumping her hips roughly against his embedded fingers. Her inner muscles clenched and rippled around them as they jabbed and thrusted inside her. Her state of near orgasm reached an even higher precipice. " Are you close, Scully? " Mulder asked in a tone of voice that dripped like syrup, " do you want me to take you that final step? " " Yes! " she wailed, " God Mulder.... yes.... yes... yes.." His fingers pumped harder inside her making contact with the fleshy wall of her cervix as it quivered against them. His tongue circled and flicked rapidly at the point of her clitoris before he drew the throbbing bud into his mouth to suck on it hard and Dana Scully's world imploded. End Part 8a... Title: Wounded Heart. Part 8b/11 Author:Sherry Davis. E-mail:SherryDav@aol.com **NC17** Greenwich Meridian Motel, Greenwich, Connecticut. " Muuullll...ddddeeeerrr!" Her scream was almost deafening in the small hotel room. Her body arched clean off the bed and pumped wildly against Mulder's mouth. Wave after wave of rippling, mind blowing orgasm engulfed her body as every nerve and muscle went into spasmodic overdrive. Mulder's hands gripped her hips as he rode the tidal wave out with her. He drank from her as warm come shot out of her vagina into his mouth. He kept his fingers moving rapidly inside her, feeling her tight muscles almost stopping the circulation as they clamped around them and still it went on. She was moaning and writhing and groaning and crying out non stop. Inarticulate words mingled with gasps and sobs as her body refused to let the ecstasy of her orgasm abate. It was turning into torture.... her pleasure almost turning into pain. The crashing waves turned into ripples then into small tremors before slowly dying away altogether. Her hips thrusted once, then twice and then stopped. Mulder lowered her shaking body gently down upon the mattress and gathered her up in his arms. He whispered soft words into her ear, but she had no idea what he was saying. Piece by piece her world slowly came back into sharp focus. " Am I still alive, Mulder? " She asked in a tremulous voice. She turned her head to face him as he chuckled against her neck, " Your still alive, Scully, " he placed a soft kiss over her rapidly beating pulse and then kissed her mouth," are you okay?" "Yeah." She replied, "But I lost myself for a moment back there, " she ran a hand down his cheek and drew it across his lips, " you've got a great mouth, Mulder." She leaned forward and kissed him languidly, tasting herself upon his full lips. They rested in each others arms just allowing the kiss to run its course. Finally they broke apart to take a well deserved breath of air, " You know, I think you should come with a Federal health warning, " Scully said raising an auburn eyebrow at him. He pulled her across his body and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, "Are you suggesting that I quote the National statistics for heart disease as I come inside you, Scully? " he chuckled merrily at the look she gave him, " cos I think that's too kinky... even for me... " She smacked him hard upon his shoulder for his wiseass remark and he yelped in pain. Taking pity on him she bent forward and ran her tongue over the redness that she had caused to appear. Mulder gasped in response. " Your lucky that I've decided to take pity on you, Mulder, or I'd kick your ass, " she smiled broadly at him and kissed the tip of his nose, " besides I have other plans for this gorgeous body of yours." She pulled his head up to meet her lips as they slanted across his. He moaned his appreciation and opened his mouth to her, wallowing in the feel of her warm, wet tongue as it swept into his mouth and duelled hotly with his own. His hands slid up her back and over her shoulders tenderly massaging her shoulder muscles with his soft caresses. Her mouth left his and trailed along his jaw, dropping tiny kisses over his stubbled chin and continuing down onto his neck. She paused there taking in the scent of his worn cologne and the sweet smell that was all Mulder. Her tongue flicked out and tasted his salty skin and she sucked upon his carotid artery. " You trying to give me a hickey, Scully? " Mulder mumbled languidly. " You taste nice, " came back her reply and she took her mouth off of him and looked into the warm dark pools of his eyes. With a quick movement he rolled her body underneath his and nuzzled her ear." Not half as good as you do." His lips found her earlobe and he sucked it into his mouth and laved it with his tongue. She moaned softly and ran her foot up the back of his calf, he groaned and rocked against her and she felt his arousal nudging against her stomach. Mulder's hands took ahold of her own and ran them down his sides until they rested against his hips in the soft silk material of his boxer shorts. " Are you ready to make that commitment, Dana? " he asked. " Yes." He lifted himself off her slightly and together they drew down the silky material of his boxer shorts effectively disposing of the last barrier that stood between them. Mulder settled back down upon her and kissed her long and passionately. His teeth nipped at her full bottom lip and she whimpered beneath him. His tongue slid across the area that he had bitten and soothed away the pain, she whimpered again and bucked her hips up against him and he felt his cock brush against her nakedness. "Scully... " he hissed out through clenched teeth. Her small hand travelled down between their entwined bodies and touched him. He jolted back upon a feral cry as her fingers wrapped around the hot hardness of his shaft. She ran her thumb over the tip of his manhood and smoothed the thick milky pre-come over and around his length. " Your huge, Mulder, " and her face broke out in a radiating grin of pure lust, " God... I'm looking forward to feeling that inside me, " her fingers tightened around his base and slid up his full length. His eyes closed tightly and he breathed raggedly through his mouth. " Don't!" He warned, " I want to come inside you, " his eyes opened and found her dilated sapphire eyes looking back at him, " if you keep doing that.... it isn't gonna happen." She nodded in understanding and removed her hand from him, sliding it over his hip and resting it there. " Make love to me, Mulder, " she brought her legs up and opened her thighs wide, her hand slid back down to guide him to her entrance. She ran his engorged cock through the pool of juice at her entrance and closed her eyes on a soft sigh as she felt him briefly part her. Mulder poised above her and dipped his head to kiss her lovingly. " I love you, Scully, " his hands braced themselves above her so that his weight wouldn't crush her small frame. She reached up and pulled him down for a soft, languid kiss before releasing him. " I want to feel you inside me, Mulder, " she whispered softly, " Now!" He pushed his hips forward slowly and he felt a slight resistance coming from her body. He looked in her eyes for guidance and saw only a deep abiding love shining out from their blue depths. He pushed slowly forward again and met with the same resistance. " Harder, " Scully said, " It's been a long time... so your gonna have to be a little more forceful." " I don't want to... " she covered his lips with her fingers. " It'll be okay. You won't hurt me.... I promise, " she smiled at him and then rested her hands against his backside, " don't treat me like a piece of china. I like it hard and I like it deep and fast, " her fingers lightly brushed along the underside of his cheeks," and with you, Mulder, I'll even enjoy slow and tender. She arched up under him and claimed his lips with hers, " Whether you want to be a wildman or a gentle...man. I can take it." She kissed him firmly once more before settling back upon the bed. He gazed down at her, his eyes alive with love and tenderness and the stubborn lock of unkempt hair spilling out over his forehead. She felt his hips pull back sharply and then he drove into her with one long hard thrust. Her back rose off the bed as his length and thick girth stretched and parted her walls and buried itself deep within her. Her eyes snapped shut and she stifled the gasp of pain that his initial thrust had caused her. Jesus.... he was BIG. He completely filled her, his cock nestling against her womb, his balls jostling against her backside. She felt totally possessed by him. He was filling a part of her that had gone too long without.... she felt whole again. She felt like a woman again. He settled himself within her for a few seconds before withdrawing almost entirely out of her. Her eyes fluttered open so that she could focus on his expressive face as he made love to her. His body slammed into hers again and she let out a deep throaty moan. He set up a deep fast rhythm as he took her body with his own. Scully watched mesmerised as his face registered the pure delight in being able to perform this intimate of acts with her. " G..o..o..d. " Mulder gasped as he continued to pump roughly into her welcoming body, "this feels so good, " harder and harder and deeper and deeper he rammed his hardened flesh into her. With each withdrawal he tried to change the angle of his hips so that his tip would make contact with different areas inside her. She was beginning to murmur softly. Her hands grabbed a hold of his waist and pulled him into her with exaggerated force. God she meant it when she had told him she loved it hard and fast. The warm wet hairs at her apex brushed against him as he slid in and out of her and the sweet contact added to Mulder's already sensitised state. " Sccuullleee, " he moaned as he felt her vagina twitch around his engorged member. His mind was disappearing fast into the ether of pre orgasm, to a place where thoughts took second place to pure sensation. He dragged himself back into reality long enough to realise that they were both on the verge of oblivion. He forced his body to suddenly slow down its thrusting, he stopped penetrating so fully inside her. He slowed down his movements until they became a slow, tender worship of her body. " Mull...ddeerr, " Scully crooned, " why'd you slow down?" " Not yet... " he whispered breathlessly, " want to enjoy this some more." With an effort on both of their parts they managed to slow their bodies down and dampened a little of their ardour. He ran a trembling hand over the rise of her breast and cupped it, squeezing the pale mound and hearing her moan her pleasure beneath him. " Kiss it, " she was struggling to keep the tremors of excitement out of her voice, " lick it.... suck on it, Mulder." His closed lips brushed sensuously over the soft silky skin. He felt the warmth of her beneath his lips and slowly opened them to place gentle butterfly kisses on her. His tongue followed where his lips had just been before and laved at her, causing her nipple to hardened in response. He flicked the tip of his tongue over the hard nubbin and sucked it into his mouth, suckling her breast with all the intensity and forcefulness of a new-born. " Oh yeah... " Scully sobbed, " yeah... don't stop.... don't stop." There lower bodies automatically began to increase the pace of their lovemaking. His cock began to penetrate her deeper and faster once again, its tip nudging and butting against the fleshy outer wall of her cervix. It was causing strong rippling vibrations to cascade throughout her body and she felt herself begin to tighten as though she were a well wound spring. Mulder's breath was getting ragged. Sweat dripped off his forehead to land unnoticed on her heaving chest. His lips were pulled back in a tight grimace of concentration and his eyes stayed focused dazedly on the writhing woman underneath him. Again they reached that moment when both bodies were a hair's breath away from total ecstasy and again he began to slow his movements down. Scully's hands gripped at his buttocks as he tried to lessen his penetration and stilled his hips. " Let go... " she told him and she took a gulp of air into her overtaxed lungs before she could continue, "don't hold back any longer, Mulder. Let all of it go... " his hips were unconsciously moving against her as she spoke to him, " this isn't a dream. I promise that I'll be here in the morning. I'll be here the very second after we both explode around each other, " she wiped some of the perspiration off of his face, " I love you..." His face lightened with her words and he nodded to her silently. He began to thrust into her more forcefully and he felt the slick slide of her legs as she embraced his hips, drawing them around him and firmly anchoring him in place. " Scully.... scully... scully... " he chanted as he felt his own body start to approach the abyss. " I'm right with you, " she was pounding her groin against him and she knew she was going to be sore in the morning. He was becoming frantic now and any finesse that he had been showing had been lost. His balls had tightened painfully and he felt the beginnings of his orgasm start to pulse out from his scrotum and down his cock. " Oh God, I'm coming, " he yelled and his hips slammed against hers almost violently. Once, twice and on the third hard thrust his entire body shuddered with the impact of his climax. Hot liquid shot out of him into the deep depths of her vagina and the head of his cock butted one last time against the sensitive spot of her cervix. Her womb clenched tightly before spasming uncontrollably sucking in the liquid life that her partner had ejaculated into her body. " Mulldeeerrr! " she yelled, " I'm there... I'm coming. Oh sweet Mary... I can't stop coming!!!" Her body was rocking hard against his as the rippling waves of pleasure flowed out and around her. Her lungs gasped for air and she felt her calf muscles around his back begin to cramp with the pressure of being so tightly wound around him. There bodies kept up the rhythm for a few moments more until Mulder's body couldn't stand it anymore and he collapsed on top of her. She gasped for air under his weight, running her nails up and down his sweat slickened back, feeling the last of the twitches and tremors leave her sated body. Mulder rolled slowly over onto his back taking her with him and suddenly she felt the chill of the night air hit her exposed back. She shivered. " Here, " Mulder said gently, and he pulled the almost forgotten comforter up and around her shoulders. They lay in silence listening to each other's breathing slowing down and feeling the hard thudding of their hearbeats slowly diminishing back to there normal levels. Eventually she trailed a lazy hand over his broad upper body. She placed a soft open mouthed kiss over his heart and looked up at him smiling. He returned the smile and she sighed audibly. " Is that contentment I hear?" He asked as he ran his hand over and through the damp fiery auburn hair on her head. " Satisfaction, " she replied enunciating every syllable slowly, "what you see before you my dear, Mulder, is a woman well satisfied." He chuckled and rolled them over until he was covering her body again, "Good because it's gonna take me a while to recover." " And then? " she asked teasingly, one auburn eyebrow rising mischievously. " And then I'm gonna satisfy you all over again, " he replied in a low sexy voice that made Scully's heartrate increase in anticipation. " Ooohhh, " she giggled, " I've got me a stud!" They laughed and kissed for a short while until Mulder moved off of her, his now limp penis slipping from the warmth of the sanctuary he had found in her body. He settled beside her and slipped his arms around her, pulling her against his side, not wanting to break this new found connection for a second. He felt her turn toward him, resting her head on his chest and sliding a soft warm leg over his. They were silent in the room basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking, each of them coming to terms with the new dimensions that their relationship was about to take. Feeling comfortable with the commitment that they had made to each other that night and in it's physical consummation. Mulder finally turned out the light and snuggled closer to his partner. She had been quite for sometime and her soft breathing was an indication that she was close to sleep. " Nite, Starbuck, " he said softly and placed a tender, loving kiss on the crown of her head. " Mulder... " she shifted her face as it lay on his chest and stared up at him in the darkness. " Yeah, " he said, stifling a yawn and tightening his arms around her soft naked body. " Can I ask you something? And will you answer it honestly? " His brow furrowed in the darkness and he didn't say anything for a few seconds as he wondered what was on her mind. " What do you want to know? " he finally asked. Scully paused for a moment and ran her hand over his face above her, " The other night... when you were telling me about your recovered memory you mentioned something that disturbed me, " she shifted her body so that she was half leaning over his prone frame, " you said that your father used to punish you for screwing up." " Scully... " Mulder said quickly knowing where her question was heading and not sure if he was gonna be able to answer it, " I don't want to talk about this." " Did he beat you, Mulder? "she asked softly, her hand smoothing over his cheekbones soothingly, " Did he physically abuse you? " " Scully, I can't talk about this right now. Please don't spoil what has been a truly wonderful night.... let's just enjoy what's happened between us, " he lowered his head and brushed his lips across hers. " Have you ever spoken to anyone about it? " He was quiet for a long time before she felt him shaking his head slowly, " No. I couldn't.... I still can't.... it's way too raw.... " " Oh Mulder, " she rolled onto her back and pulled him against her, he came without a struggle and rested his head between her breasts. She smoothed her hand through his hair like a mother soothing a frightened child, " I'd like to think that you will share it with me one day. Talking about it might help." " I don't like to remember, " he pressed his lips against her breasts, " if I tell anyone.... it'll be you, Scully." It was her turn to drop a kiss onto the crown of his head and she ruffled his hair with her fingers, " I'm so in love with you, do you know that?" she could feel his lips curve against her naked breast, "I'm glad tonight happened," he nuzzled against her breast with his lips and she sighed contentedly, " sweet dreams G-Man." She settled her arms further around him and together they slipped into a peaceful, exhausted sleep. End Part 8b... Title: Wounded Heart. Part 9/11 Author:Sherry Davis. E-mail:SherryDav@aol.com Greenwich Meridian Motel, Greenwich, Connecticut,9.15 a.m. ** R ** Two days later.... The day of Samantha's funeral broke overcast and grey. Thunder rumbled and a heavy rain pattered against the motel room window. Mulder had awakened at the first sound of the approaching storm and had silently listened to its ever building cacophony of sound. He was dreading this day as he had dreaded no other. Until now he had been able to push thoughts of the coming funeral out of his mind. He had forced himself to not think about what was going to occur today and how he was going to cope with having to say a final farewell to the little girl that had shaped so much of his life. Already he could feel the spectre of his grief shadowing his heart and he didn't feel as though he could cope with allowing it full access to his emotions, which were already unbearably mixed. God, how he wished that certain aspects of this week had never happened. That he had never received Skinner's call to go to his office that morning. That the body they had been sent to identify had been someone else's and not Samantha's. That he could erase his mother's hurtful words that even now still sent shudders down his spine. That he had never remembered the details surrounding that fateful night and the depths of his father's deception. That he didn't have to go ahead and live out the details of his sister's funeral. There was a stirring of the sheets next to him and he smiled softly as Scully's bare arm trailed up over his chest and her small pale hand came to rest over his heart. Now that was one thing that he didn't and would never regret happening. His own hand tenderly settled over hers protectively and he turned his head slightly hoping not to disturb her as she slept. It was such a pleasure to watch her sleep. He couldn't get enough of it. She always looked so young in these off guarded moments and it reminded him of the youthful woman who had walked through his door all those years before. The smile on his face broadened as he remembered her no nonsense approach to that first case together. How she had looked at him with unconcealed incredulity when he had begun to spout off his theories regarding the abduction of those kids in Oregon. Was he in love with her as far back as then? No, he decided, it hadn't been love. That had taken a little while longer to surface and then when it did he had brutally pushed it down so that it wouldn't interfere with his search for the truth. It had only been when she had been taken and he had listened to her frantic pleas for his help that he had been able to admit to himself how much he loved her. God seldom gave out second chances. Yet with Mulder he had seemed to have given him a second and a third. Not only had he allowed Scully to come back to him from her coma, but he had also allowed her to fight her way back to him from the near fatal cancer too. She stirred again and her mouth opened into a slight pout, her warm red lips puckering as though she were dreaming of being kissed. He leaned into her body and dropped a small tender kiss upon those lips and watched as they rose up in the corners at the beginning of a smile. He knew now that he could never survive without her by his side. The fact that she had agreed to commit herself to him still filled him with a sense of awe. Why she should decide to stay at the side of such a damaged man was beyond his comprehension, but he would do his best to prove to her that the choice she had made that night was the right one. The morning after their first night together Scully had given up her room and moved all her things in with Mulder. It made sense considering that only one room was now being inhabited and as the rooms were being paid for, not by the bureau, but out of their own pockets it had made monetary sense too. Of course it had made the room a little more cramped, but Mulder had to admit that the benefits of the arrangement vastly outweighed any negative aspects. Thunder crashed loudly outside the window making the panes of glass shudder in their mountings. He felt Scully stirring again and when he looked down he found her sapphire gaze staring up at him. " Hey, " he whispered, " sorry the storm woke you up." " I'm not." She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, with a gentle tug she pulled him down to her and pressed her lips against his. They nuzzled silently for a few seconds before breaking the kiss, "It used to be coffee that got me going in the mornings, " Scully mused, as she stifled a yawn, " now it would appear that I can't make it outta bed unless I've had my morning dose of Mulder." She settled her small hands on his waist and tugged gently. A small chuckle rose unbidden from his mouth as he moved over her body and settled himself on top of her. " Hmmm. It would appear that the feelings mutual, " she said wickedly as she felt his morning erection poke against her stomach. " Yeah, well I know if I'm not up and ready when you wake up there'll be hell to pay," he tenderly cupped her chin in his hand and brought her lips to his, " remember I've seen you when you've had to go without coffee, " his lips curled up as they rested against hers and he felt her giggle softly. His lips opened and claimed hers just as his hardened flesh slipped effortlessly into the comforting embrace of her aroused body. They made love slowly and silently, their eyes, hands and mouths communicating all that was needed to be known as their body's continued to rock against each other. It was almost as though he were worshipping her body, Scully thought as she felt him gently ease his hardened manhood in and out of her. Slowly he brought her to the edge of the abyss and she found that she couldn't tear her eyes away as his expressive face registered the multitude of feelings that this intimate act brought out in him. Her early morning orgasm was the sweetest and most tender that she had ever experienced. Mulder spent himself inside her body with a shudder of his hips and an open mouthed but silent cry, and it occurred to her that not a word had been spoken during the entire duration of their lovemaking. She cradled his head, as she often did now, upon the soft pillows of her breasts as he fought to regain control of his sated body. Her hands moved through his slickened hair and brushed it back off of his forehead and she waited quietly until he was able to focus once more upon his surroundings again. The sudden sobs that broke from his mouth surprised her and her movements in his hair stopped abruptly. His body was quaking against hers and she could feel the splatter of his tears as they ran down his face and into the valley between her breasts. " Mulder.... you okay? " She asked softly as she lowered her hand form his hair to rub it soothingly around and over his back. The thought occurred to her that this sudden outpouring was due in some way to the coming days events. That the impending funeral of Mulder's sister was causing him to breakdown in her arms. She was wrong. Slowly he raised his tear stained face and watery eyes to meet her steady gaze. His face which only a moment ago had looked so happy in the throes of passion, now looked drawn and pale as the anguish inside of him finally broached the last of his inner defensive walls and poured forth. " It started when I was six, " his voice hitched slightly and the tears broke once more and ran down his face, " and it didn't stop until I was sixteen and strong enough to hit the bastard back." " The beatings?" Scully asked. " Yeah, " his voice was thick with tears and he had to clear his throat several times before he could continue, " I've never been able to understand what started him off, but once he began there was no stopping him." He drew his gaze away from hers and settled once more on the cushion of her breasts. Her arms went around him in a strong embrace and she placed a soft kiss in his hair. " Sometimes he would hit me for the smallest of reasons. Sometimes for no reason at all... I was constantly confused and there was never any pattern to his behaviour. I've thought a lot about it since I became a Psychologist, but I still can't quite fathom it all out." He proceeded to tell her in excruciating detail the torturous decade that he had spent at the hands of his violent father. How he had been beaten so severely that at one point he had been hospitalised as the doctors had feared for his spleen. That at other times rather than wait for Bill Mulder to decide when the beating would take place, the young boy had goaded his father to the point whereby he would instigate the beating himself. " That way I at least felt a little in control of the situation, " he had sobbed as he stayed cradled within his lovers arms. Scully had been incensed at Bill Mulder's actions toward his small son and by the hospitals total lack of investigation into the boys constant trips to the ER. She couldn't bring herself to believe that the hospital could have been so naive that they had no idea what was taking place in the Mulder residence. She decided that it was more likely that they decided to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to what was truly going on. He completely broke down in her arms as he began to tell her of one particularly bad beating. One that had been for no apparent reason and probably only occurred because his father was so tanked up on alcohol that night. The tears that he had shed at the news of his sisters death were nothing compared to what she was witnessing now. She knew what a courageous act it had taken for him to decide after all these years to confide in her. She held him tightly as he continued to relate this sad and dark episode of his life. " After Sam... " he paused, " the beatings just got worse. At the time I thought it was because he thought that I was to blame for losing her. Now I figure it was probably that he feared that I might remember what he had done to her. He was really trying to cause damage those times. He used his fists and feet and he really did a number on me. I use to pee blood for days after and I spent so much time off of school that a private tutor had to come by the house." Silent tears coursed down her face as she listened in silence to his words. She hated Bill Mulder with an hatred that she had never known existed until now. She hoped that Mulder's so called father was spending eternity in the cold dark place that Luther Lee Boggs had spoken to her about so long ago. Only there could he even begin to pay for the evil that he had inflicted upon his children. " When I was sixteen he hit me one time too many and I retaliated. I punched him back and the sonofabitch landed smack on his ass on the floor. He never laid a finger on me after that, I guess he figured I could take him down if I really wanted too. My parents divorced shortly after and two years after that I got my scholarship to go to Oxford." Her throat was constricted with her tears and she couldn't form a word of comfort to say to her lover. He was silent below her and he was slowly recovering from the strong sobs that had wracked his body. So he was totally unprepared when Scully rolled them over so that Mulder was flat on his back. His eyes widened as he saw the tears that pooled in her blue eyes and the teartracks that had ran down her face. He reached a hand out to brush away the tears, but she intercepted it and shook her head silently. She pressed his hand to her lips and kissed his fingers lovingly. She may not be able to tell him what she was feeling at this point, but she was determined to show him. Her kisses continued to fall upon his prone body. Over his face and chin, down his neck and across his chest. When he reached for he and pulled her toward him to claim her lips, she stilled his actions again with an adamant shake of her auburn head. This was going to be for him. Finally he seemed to understand and he nodded briefly before lowering himself back upon the bed. She made love to him. First with her hands and mouth upon his straining flesh and then with her warm welcoming body as she sheathed him deeply inside her. She rode him slowly, building up the tension and passion until it became unbearable and he climaxed on a hoarse cry, shuddering uncontrollably inside her. She didn't follow him over the edge and she hoped that she was able to show him how much she loved him in the action she had taken and in her willingness to forego her own release. When it was over he pulled her to his sweat slickened body and held her tightly in his embrace. He dropped kisses into her hair and ran one hand smoothly over her back. He pulled back to look at her for a long time and she saw wonder shining from his eyes. " Whatever did I do in my miserable life to deserve you? " He said softly as he placed a tender kiss on her forehead. " If your father wasn't already dead, I would hunt down the bastard and kill him, " she replied with venom in her voice, " Krychek did you a big favour, Mulder." " Well don't be too upset if I don't shake his hand, Scully, " he replied before slanting his mouth over hers to taste her long and deeply. They laid silently listening to the ebb and flow of the storm outside. A fragile peace settled over them, one that they both knew would be shattered again at the funeral with the reminder of the lives that had been shattered on that night twenty four years ago. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Greenwich Meridian Motel, Greenwich, Connecticut,11.15 a.m. After breakfast and a shower the two agents began the process of readying themselves for the funeral which was scheduled for twelve noon. Both had bought outfits in town the day before that were befitting the sombre occasion which they were attending. Scully had already dressed and was putting on the finishing touches of her makeup as Mulder stepped up to the mirror and ran a comb through his dampened hair. She gazed fondly at his reflection and she noticed that his eyes were far away. Absently he picked up the black tie that they had selected for the funeral, running his fingers over the silk. His shoulders dropped and she saw his Adam's apple bob up and down in his throat as he tried to swallow around the obvious lump that was forming there. Scully turned away from there joint reflections and stepped closer to him. He noticed her movement and quickly looked up at her and she smiled sadly at him, " Come here... let me do that." She gently removed the tie from his unresponsive hands and draped it around the shoulders of his starched white dress shirt. Her hands deftly flipped up his collar and she ran the tie around it listening to the rasping noise it made as it slipped over the cotton. She brought the two ends of the tie together and began to cross and fold the pieces until she had the makings of a respectable looking knot. Tenderly she pushed the knot up against the top button of his shirt so that it wasn't too tight against his throat. Finally she flipped the collar back down into place and finished with her task, she stepped back. Mulder's hand shot out before she had taken a second step and reached for her hand. He pulled her back toward him and engulfed her small body in a tight embrace. His arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders and his face buried itself into the strands of her red hair. They stayed that way for a few minutes until she felt his body begin to reluctantly release her. His lips kissed her softly on the crown of her head as he stepped away from her. " Are you gonna be alright? " She asked him, her concern showing in the warmth of her blue eyes. " No, but I'll survive, Scully, " he smiled wanly and moved toward the bed to pick up his jacket. Scully moved back toward the vanity unit and picked up her comb and ran it once more through the fine auburn hair and watched as it settled back in its usual place just touching the shoulders of her black dress. Putting down her comb, she grasped the small purse on the vanity and flipped open the catch. She put her hand inside to retrieve the item that she had put in there the day before and took it out slowly. She gazed down at the item in her hand and then back up to the mirror that showed the reflection of her partner as he went about slipping his black jacket on over the rest of his clothes. She spun around and walked slowly over to him. Again he seemed to sense her before she reached him and he looked up. " I've got something for you, " she told him as she held out her hand, " but I'm not sure whether your want to wear it or not, " her fingers uncurled to reveal a black yarmulke resting in the palm of her hand. Mulder's eyes widened as he realised the significance of the item she was holding. He stood motionless as he stared at the small black skullcap as it sat in her outstretched palm. Slowly his fingers inched their way forward as though he was frightened to touch the item in her hand. They brushed lightly over her palm and picked up the yarmulke reverently and he drew it back toward him. " I meant to ask you the other day how you knew... " he swallowed before continuing and his eyes rose up to meet with hers, " ... how you knew which faith I was brought up in?" He looked at her quizzically and full of wonder, " I didn't even include it on my service records at the bureau, Scully?" " It's no great mystery, Mulder, " she said softly around a small smile, " it's no act of psychic phenomena or any kind of sixth sense. In fact it's something quite mundane," his eyebrows rose sharply at her remark and her smile widened, " ...I'm well trained in observation both as a doctor and as an investigator... " he shook his head slightly still not making the connection, " I noticed the Menorah on the side cabinet at your mother's house the other night alongside a rather cute picture of certain young boy taken during his Bar Mitzvah." Mulder's head dropped in what looked like embarrassment and he chuckled lightly," Nothing gets past you, does it?" He looked back up sheepishly at her, " I'm gonna have to be very careful around you." " Better believe it G-Man. You won't be able to hide all those FBI groupies anymore, " she teased him. " I don't need groupies, Scully. Not when I've got all I'll ever want wrapped up in one small, dynamic package, " he replied looking at her with sincerity in his warm hazel eyes. " I hope that's not a dig at my lack of height, Mulder, " she retorted with mock irritation resonating in her voice. He stepped forward and pulled her to him until she was pressed firmly against the bulk of his body. His head lowered and captured her lips in a soft kiss. Automatically her arms went around his waist as she responded to the warmth of his lips. She stood on tiptoe so that she could reach more of his mouth with hers and she opened her mouth to him on a soft moan. After indulging themselves in a brief kiss they broke apart, "We better go. There'll be waiting for us at the cemetery, " Scully said as she made her way over to the closet and pulled out her trenchcoat. Mulder nodded reluctantly as the dread in his stomach coiled like a snake around his intestines squeezing so tightly that he didn't think he would be able to move. " Your gonna make it through this partner, " Scully whispered softly, " I'm with you every step of the way. If the going gets tough just reach out for me and hold on real tight." " I've been doing that for years, Scully," he replied, a ghost of a smile flickering across his sombre face. Scully shrugged on her trenchcoat, " Then you should be really good at it by now," she crossed the small space between them and took a hold of his hand, " just remember one thing. Today when you reach for me and I hold you in my arms, it's not gonna be because I'm your partner and I'm trying to console you. It'll be because I'm your lover and I'm showing my love for you." She raised his hand and brushed her lips tenderly across his knuckles. " Everyone's gonna know, " Mulder said quietly, " Their gonna take one good look at us and their gonna know," a frown appeared on his face, " I'm not gonna be able to hide it, Scully. Not anymore... not after what's happened between us." " I'm not asking you to, " she replied softly, " I have no intention of hiding what we feel for each other, I've spent way too long doing that." " But Skinner... " " Will understand. Mulder, I think Skinner understands a lot more than we give him credit for." " But he's our boss." " Today he's our friend, " she tugged gently on his hand, " We better get a move on or we're gonna be late." He nodded once and turned to pick up his own trenchcoat that was lying on the bed. He draped it over his arm and with the other free hand he ushered Scully out of the small motel room into the stormy day beyond. A little girl was waiting for them. Waiting patiently for her brother to finally lay her to rest... End Part 9...