From: Karl & Betty Schendel Date: Fri, 26 Jun 1998 19:02:10 -0400 Subject: X-ing Sides 1/1 Title-X-ing Sides 1/1 Author-Andrea Derrin E-mail address- Feed back wanted at schendel@fyi.net (relative's addy) Rating-PG-13 for some language that the boys use Category- probaly a slight XF/Once a Thief Crossover and Humor Spoilers-Tunguska/Terma, The Red and The Black and that one with the bug monster boss Summary-Alex Krycek meets Nick Lea and Victor Mansfield. They have fun. What more is there to say? Author's notes: This is for Caity who inspired this story and acted as my editor. Also I only met Nick Lea once so I have no clue how these people whould act alone with friends. All mistakes concerning personalities are mine!! Disclaimer: I hate these things!! Anyway Mulder, Scully, Skinner, etc. are p[roperty of 1013, Fox and CC. Victor Mansfield belongs to some company in Canada and the name Thanas belongs to LucasFilms and George Lucas. Any other characters are mine. X-ING SIDES 1/1 Washington,D.C Monday April 14, 1998 12:30 AM Alex Krycek stumbled into his apartment. He had had a bad day, starting in the morning when he had a conference with some stubborn Russian men and ending in a bar fight with two people twice his size. In his bathroom, Alex gingerly touched his left eye. It was going to definitely be a shiner. He turned and quickly disrobed and hopped into the shower. The hot water felt great on his sore back. Getting out, he shaved and changed into clean clothes. His other ones reeked of smoke and sweat. He went back into the main room and surveyed his apartment. He had forgotten to clean it up again. Reluctantly, Krycek started the tedious task. After a half hour, he was done. Tossing his cap on the bed he flopped down on his couch and turned on the TV. Krycek was soon asleep. * * * * * * * * 1:05 AM Same night A bright light woke Alex up with a start. Swearing, he grabbed for his gun and pointed it at the intruder. "Don't shoot me! I'm unarmed." The voice sounded awfully familiar. Suddenly Krycek realized that it was his own! Confused, he shook his head as if to clear it. "Come out where I can see you." The man stepped out of the shadows where he was kind of hiding. He was about 6 foot 1 with brown hair. "Holy fuck what the hell is going on?" exclaimed Krycek. He found himself looking into a face that was the mirror image of his own. "I have no idea. Either your an extremely good look alike or I'm going crazy," said the man. "Well, I don't know about you, but I ain't a look alike of no one," stammered Krycek. The man held out his hand. "My name is Nicholas Lea. You can call me Nick. What's your name?" Krycek warily shook hands with Nick. "Krycek, Alex Krycek." At the sound of that name, Nick suddenly went totally rigid. "Krycek? But that's impossible. You can't be Krycek!" he managed to get out. Krycek narrowed his eyes. "And why can't I be Alex Krycek?" he made his voice low, dangerous. "Because that's the character that I play on the show called the X-Files," said Nick. He sincerely hoped that the person claiming to be Alex Krycek wouldn't shoot him. He looked like he had had a bad day, what with his black eye and all. "What do you mean, the show? The X-Files are a branch of the FBI run by and consisting only of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully." "Shit. Something must have happened. Where I come from, it's a show and it's highly unlikely that two people looking the same could be born in different places." "Why, where were you born?" "Canada. What about you?" "U.S. This is way to weird." Alex slowly took his gun off Nick. Nick breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't going to get shot after all. "So you must have come from a different dimension or something. Sounds like I should send you over to Mulder. He'd love you." "Ha, ha. Very funny. So what do we do." Nick seemed to be at a loss for ideas. "I personally don't know. But this does open up a whole lot of possibilities for my work." "And what exactly is your work now? If it's anything life threatening then forget it. I like life." Nick seemed to think about that. "Never mind. It was a stupid idea, just forget it. And on a side note, sometimes you sure don't act like you like life." Alex shrugged with a rueful expression on his face. Nick looked around at the small apartment. "Another thing, where will I sleep? It's late and I don't know about you but I'm beat." Alex seemed to laugh. "You can have the bed. I'll sleep on the couch. Hope you don't snore." They each took their respective places and were asleep in 5 minutes. * * * * * * * Next Morning 9:30 AM Alex woke up with a groan. The events of last night were just catching up with him. Suddenly he grinned evilly. Since Mulder was always beating up on him, it was time he got his payback. Now that there was two of them, they could do it easily. This was pretty weird, almost like suddenly having an identical twin. At least they could safely go outside, as long as he didn't meet anyone he knew. Not that that would be much of a problem. He could hear Nick getting up in the other room. Alex idly wondered how Nick got to his 'dimension'. Oh, well. It didn't really matter. "Hey Alex, got anything to eat?" Nick called from the kitchen. "Yeah, there's food in the cupboards and some oj, milk and beer in the fridge. No coffee, I'm out of it but there should be some tea around there." Alex said. He had joined Nick in the kitchen. It suddenly occurred to him that he and Nick were acting like they were good pals, probably because they shared the same face and voice. It didn't matter to Alex. It felt rather good to be around someone who wasn't trying to beat up, kill or deceive him. "You know what Nick, it might be best that we stick together," said Alex thoughtfully. Nick turned from his scavenging in the cupboards. "Why wouldn't we? I mean think about it Alex, you're the only person that I know here and there's the small fact that we look and sound exactly alike. It may even be fun to confuse people." Nick had a sudden thought strike him. "Hey, do you think we could get into the J. Edgar Hoover Building? I want to see how confused Mulder, Scully and Skinner would be." Alex looked doubtful. "I don't know. Every time I see them, they seem intent on hurting me in some way. It's a real bitch after a while. In the mean time, let me show you around Washington. Have you ever been here before?" "Nope." They ate and headed out the door, Krycek cautiously checking around before proceeding out. * * * * * * * * 1:05 PM Alex unlocked the door to his apartment. He had shown Nick around most of D.C. He had turned out to be a pretty cool guy and seemed to be someone Alex could trust for once. They were definitely two of a kind. "Hey Nick, remember that look on the one persons face when we showed up, talking and looking the same?" "Yeah, THAT was hilarious. It was also a first for me." Nick laughed. Alex opened the door and walked in. Just inside, he stopped dead in his tracks, causing Nick to bump into him. When he saw what the problem was, Nick too let out a small gasp. "Who the hell are you?" they both exclaimed together. The man in Krycek's apartment let his mouth fall open. Alex sighed. he thought. "Hi, I'm Alex Krycek and the man behind me is named Nicholas Lea. You can call him Nick. Who are you?" "I..I'm Victor Mansfield. What the hell is going on?" Poor Victor was really confused. Characteristically, he started to get mad. "Is this some sort of joke or what?" "No joke," said Nick. "It is really confusing, though." "So, are you going to tell me what's going on or what" Alex didn't like his tone of voice. Pulling out his gun, he pointed it at Victor."Look Victor, you're new. Don't make us hurt you. Okay?" Victor nodded weakly. Alex lowered his gun. "Good.This is kind of confusing but bear along with us. Nick here is from a different dimension, I guess. There, he's an actor and two of his main roles are people named Alex Krycek on a show called the X-Files and Victor Mansfield on a show and movie called Once A Thief. Now somehow he got transported into the X-Files dimension, my dimension. So did you. Okay?" Victor was in a state of semi-shock. "So what your saying is that there are different dimensions and I got transported into one of them? Cool." "Yeah. It's also fun to see people's faces when they see two and now three people look exactly alike. This will be fun to confuse people." "Okay. I'm at a bit of a disadvantage. Nick and you know something about this dimension and Nick knows quite a bit about both you and me but I only know your names and that Nick's an actor. What do you do, Alex?" Alex laughed. This was going to be fun. Now he could definitely get back at Mulder. "Well, I'm not sure now's the right time to tell you." "I'm an ex-cop," said Victor. "Oh great, a copper. Hope you don't get soft on us," muttered Alex under his breath. Victor slammed him against the wall and hit him. "What's that supposed to mean, huh? You want to get a second black eye to match the one you already have?" Alex pushed him away. "There's only one small problem, copper. Your the exact same size as me." Victor shrugged. "So, that won't matter. I'll still beat your ass." Nick decided that now was a good time to step in. "Guys, I'm sure that you'd have a ball trying to beat each other up, but don't you think that we should be sticking together. Let's stop and figure some things out. First off, you two have to declare a truce," Nick interrupted. The other two glared at each other. "Fine," Victor said, stepping away from Alex. "Sorry, I have quite a temper. Truce?" "Truce," Alex replied. Nick was satisfied. "Second, where are we all going to sleep?" "We can alternate around the floor, bed and couch. I hope you have a sleeping bag Krycek." "Yeah I do." Alex said. Nick nodded. "Good. Thirdly, what are we going to do now? I vote that we go pay a visit to Mulder and Scully." "Who are Mulder and Scully?" Victor asked. "Oh, these two FBI agents. They investigate the paranormal and all that crap. Mulder is a real weirdo, his full name is Fox William Mulder. He hates my guts cause he thinks I killed his dad," Alex said. "I was under the impression that you did," Nick told him. Alex shrugged and didn't answer. "Why would you be even interested in killing his father?" Victor asked. "Because I was ordered to. Before I went kind of rogue, I worked for this man, doing many of his dirtier deeds such as spying and killing. In fact, I even spied on Mulder, posing as his partner while the X-Files were broken up. Anyway, Mulder and Scully hate my guts. Scully is a forensic pathologist and Mulder is an Oxford graduate with a degree in psychology. He's so good at it it's almost spooky. In fact, his nickname is Spooky Mulder. Lots of the guys at the FBI make fun at him so he's basically a die hard loner. He also thinks that his sister was abducted by aliens when he was twelve." Krycek tried to remember anything important he missed. "Either of you speak Russian?" The other two shook their heads. "So you want to pay a visit to Mulder because why?" Victor asked. Something about the way Krycek was holding his left arm made him uneasy. "Because every time he sees me, he tries to beat me up. And now that there's three of us, we could do it to him easily." "Why don't you just do it?" Nick asked. Krycek gave him a withering stare. "Maybe because he's bigger than me and works out." "Oh. Any other reasons?" Victor wondered if maybe his left arm was hurt because of this Mulder person. "Yeah, one more. Because of that son of a bitch, I only have one arm." Victor jumped. "You what!" Alex grinned. "I only have one arm. My left one's a prosthetic. It's a long story but let's just say that I would still have two arms if it weren't for Mulder. I'll tell you the whole story later. It's confusing." Victor gave a little shudder. "Ugh. And this doesn't affect you at all, Nick?" "Not really. I feel really sorry for poor Ratboy, but.." "Ratboy? Did you just call me Ratboy?" "Yeah. It's mine and your's nickname on the net because you are always changing loyalties and remind people of a rat. Don't feel bad. It's better than Skippy, Weasel, or Mr. Rabbit." "They call me what? Mr. Rabbit?" Nick was having a ball with this. Meanwhile, Victor was doubled over with laughter. "Yep. Mr. Rabbit. Don't worry, on interviews I always say I prefer Ratboy, Ratdude or Cool Ratguy.You'd be amazed at how many people adore us. There are tons of websites devoted to only us. Or me." "What about me? Don't I get any recognition?" Nick shook his head gleefully. thought Victor as he went into the kitchen to see if there were any beers. Forty-five minutes and four beers later for each of them, the men were getting rather tipsy. "So guys, do you think the girls are hotter in my dimension or in yours?" Nick and Krycek just looked at him. Nick grinned. "I don't know. What do you think, Krycek?" "Well, If you count Dana Scully, then this dimension definitely wins. She is really hot." "And we're going to meet her? Hot damn!" Nick thought that maybe Victor should lie down. He was getting even more tipsy than the others. When he said so, Victor glared at him. "So what? I can hold out. Trust me, I'll be okay." "Actually, we don't want you taking a swing at one of us," explained Nick. Victor sighed. "Look, I promise that I won't hurt any of you. Just leave me alone on this, okay?" Just then the doorbell rang. The guys looked at each other and Alex shrugged. "One of you two want to get that? I'm throwing away these empty bottles." Nick got to the door before Victor and opened it. Then he stopped almost dead. "Hi Alex. Mother told me to tell you that the rent's due," said a young woman in her early thirties. "Huh? Oh, the rent. Hold on." Nick turned and yelled into the kitchen. "Hey Alex, door. Won't you come in?" The lady tentatively came in and stopped when she saw Victor and Alex coming out of the kitchen. "What?" She was very confused. "I take it you three are identical triplets?" Alex smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Sarah, I'd like you to meet Nick- he's the one who opened the door, and Victor- he's the one without an earring. Hold on a sec and I'll get the rent." He disappeared into his bedroom and came back holding an envelope. "Here. How's your mother?" "She's doing great. The doctor said that in a week or so, she can start collecting rent and stuff like that." "Good. Tell her I said hi." "Okay. See you later. Nice meeting you Nick and Victor." She left and Nick and Victor just stared at the closed door. "Who was that. Man, was she hot," said Victor. "That was Sarah Thanas. Her mom's the landlady but she just suffered a stroke so Sarah's collecting rent and stuff." "So why don't you ask her out?" asked Nick. Alex shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe I will sometime." "I don't think you have the guts," said Victor. Krycek turned on him angrily. "So what? At least I have a prospective girlfriend." "So do I," Victor countered. "Um, Vic, no you don't. Li Ann likes that other guy better than you," said Nick. At that, Victor threw a punch at Nick. He easily blocked it. Alex came in and soon the two men were trying their best hurt each other. Nick attempted to pull them apart but his actions only resulted in Vic throwing another punch at him. "Hey, hey. Easy you two. Victor, I know this stuff because I play you. Remember? And will you two stop fighting? You agreed to a truce!" Alex shook Victor off with difficulty. "Hey, it's not my fault. Victor started it. I had nothing to do with it." Nick chuckled and shook his head at the antics of these two. They were sometimes worse than the Lone Gunmen. "Look, can we settle this girlfriend thing sometime later? Right now I think that we should go down to the Bureau and pay a visit to Agents Mulder and Scully." Alex and Victor reluctantly agreed. "I think that we should eat first. I know this little restaurant that serves pretty good food. Come on," said Krycek. Victor bolted out the door with Nick and Alex following close behind. "Here we are." After driving for a while they finally got to the restaurant. Victor wasn't impressed with he saw. "You sure this place is safe to eat at?" Alex laughed. He assured Vic that it was. Just then Nick stopped them. "Hold on guys. Look in there. I'm not sure that we should go in. I mean, we don't want to cause a scene." When Alex looked, he saw what Nick was talking about. Inside on a lunch break, was Mulder and Scully. Alex leaned back and swore. "Shit. I guess we'll have to go somewhere else. We don't want to meet them here. The office is a better place for that. Come on." The three men left with the partners none the wiser. * * * * * * * * Basement office J.Edgar Hoover Building 2:30 PM "Honestly Mulder. I don't know why I let you pick where we eat. You're probably going to die of coronary artery disease before you're fifty from eating at these greasy spoons." Scully dropped her coat onto her chair and sat down to check her e-mail. "Hey, at least I'll live to fifty. Oh yeah, AD Skinner wanted to talk with us about our report." Scully sighed. She reluctantly got up and together went to Skinner's office. * * * * * * * * "Okay, you ready? Remember just walk in like you're part of a tour group. No guns Victor." Victor tried to look innocent as Nick glared at him. "Hey don't worry. I've already dumped my gun." "Good cause they have metal detectors that could pick up the tiniest scraps," said Alex. Victor just gave him a look. Alex calmly stared back and then started walking toward the entrance to the FBI headquarters. They got in fine and headed unnoticed down to the basement. Meanwhile Mulder and Scully were just getting out of their meeting. "Um, Agent Scully, can I have a word in private with you?" Scully glanced at Mulder as if to tell him to head on down. "Yes Sir." Mulder turned and left. He got down to his office to find the lights off. He heard a noise and spun around. First he managed to turn on the lights. When Mulder saw who it was, he almost flew into a rage. "Well, well, well. If it isn't Fox Mulder. How you've been?" "What are you doing here, Krycek?" "What, can't I visit my former partner? Is there some law against that?" Mulder gave him a vicious sneer. "If there was, since when do you go by the law? And why did you kiss me last time you saw me?" Alex shrugged. "It's a Russian custom much like our shaking hands. You give your friends and comrades kisses. Nothing romantic." Mulder seemed to suddenly remember that this was his arch-enemy here. He measured the distance between them mentally. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't shoot you. I'm dying to." Krycek smiled evilly. "Easy. If you shoot me then I guarantee you won't get out of here without some nasty breaks." Just then Nick and Victor stepped out of the shadows. Mulder swung around and seemed momentarily confused. He quickly covered it up with sarcasm. "Why Krycek, you never told me you were a triplet!" Alex glared at him. "Mulder, I would like you to meet Vic and Nick." "How'd you get stuck with Alex? Why aren't you named Rick or Dick? And which is which?" "Figure that out for yourself. And we're not triplets. We just look exactly alike." Just then, Scully and Skinner came down the steps. "Hold on sir, the file is right in... what the hell's going on?" Skinner came in and saw Victor first. Immediately, Skinner slammed him into the wall. In return, Vic gave him a punch in the jaw with his left hand. Skinner just stared at him in surprise. "Shit, that's one hell of a prosthesis." Victor stared at him in confusion. "What? Oh, I'm not Alex, I'm Victor. Alex is sitting at the desk." Skinner turned and stared at each of the three identical men in turn. They moved to stand next to each other in order to further confuse the three agents. Scully seemed to think about the circumstances and came to the only logical action. She drew her gun and pointed it at Krycek, who was standing in the middle. He looked surprised and let instinct take over. He stepped back and pulled Nick and Victor in front of him. "Hey Alex. What the hell do you think you're doing?" Nick yelled. "Looking out for number one. What else?" "What about numbers two and three you idiot?" Victor asked him. Alex thought about that and just shrugged. By now, Mulder and Skinner also had their guns out. "So why are you here Krycek?" asked Skinner. "For some reason unknown to me, Nick and Victor wanted to meet Mulder and Scully. We weren't counting on you being here," replied Alex. Skinner ruefully rubbed his jaw where Victor had hit him. Nick was staring at Scully and Mulder with a quiet intensity. "This is weird. Wait until I get home and tell Dave and Gillian about this. They'll never believe me!" Mulder looked confused. "If we promise not to lose our tempers and shoot Krycek, will you three tell us what's going on and who Dave and Gillian are?" "Oh, I suppose." "Which one are you?" "I'm Nick Lea, the one with an earring. Alex is the one with only one arm and Victor has nothing." Mulder edged past them and sat at his desk. "Okay, start explaining." Nick decided to start out. "We're not sure exactly how this happened but it seems that there are multiple dimensions. There's the dimension we're in now, which we're calling the X-Files dimension, the Once a Thief dimension, Victor's world and my place, the Original dimension. There may be more but we're not sure." Nick seemed unsure of how to proceed. "Um, somehow um, me and Vic got, uh, um." at a loss for words, Nick made this high pitched noise and succeeded in cracking Mulder up. "What was that?" "I'm at a loss for words. Alex, you finish." "Sure. Somehow, Nick and Victor got transported into this dimension. We're not quite sure how but they did. In his dimension, Nick is an actor and he plays me in TV show called The X-Files. He also plays a guy named Victor Mansfield in a show called Once A Thief. Victor is an ex-cop and you know what I am." "So why are you telling us this? And who are Dave and Gillian?" asked Scully. "They're two of my good friends. David Duchovny plays Mulder and Gillian Anderson plays Scully. She also has an adorable daughter named Piper who's a great kid," said Nick. Scully looked a little jealous. "Of course, she was married for a while and you weren't." At that, Scully looked like she was seriously going to shoot Nick. He backed up and put his hands in the air. "Scully, easy. He was just telling us who his friends were. No need to shoot him," soothed Mulder. "So you're Mulder and Scully. Wow. Nice to meet you. Can you let us go now? The Director already tries to intimidate me enough, I don't need anymore," said Victor. Skinner looked even more confused, if that was possible. "What director? Of the FBI?" "No. THE Director. She's the head of this anti-criminal organization in my dimension. She's been described by one of my partners as a twisted leather freak. Believe me, you don't want to meet her. It seems like she tries to seduce all the guys but it never works," Victor said. Mulder stepped back and motioned for Scully and Skinner to follow him into the hallway. "So what do you think, should we let them go?" "Krycek is a known felon and by all rights we should turn him in. But I honesty don't know," said Scully. "But Scully, I think there's more here than meets the eye and I for one would like to know more. Nick and this Victor guy seem rather interesting. What do you think Sir?" "I think that we should take this conversation up to my office where we can have more room to move around. Come on." They reentered the office. "Come on guys, we're going up to Skinner's office." Mulder grabbed Krycek by the collar and hauled him up the stairs. Victor received the same treatment by Skinner. Scully looked unsure of how to get Nick out of the office. "Don't worry Scully. I'll help myself out," he said with a rueful grin on his face. Walking through the FBI headquarters, the three identical men got some weird stares. "Hey Spooky," called Tom Colton, "What'd you catch this time? Radioactive triplets?" Upon hearing the taunt, Victor couldn't restrain himself. He broke away from Skinner and walking up to Colton, calmly punched him hard in the face and then slammed him into his desktop. Skinner intervened and saved Colton from being beat up too bad. As the group turned to continue up to Skinner's office, cheers and clapping echoed through the hallway after them. * * * * * * * * "Okay, now what is this all about?" asked Skinner impatiently. "We already told you. I don't see why we have to tell you again," said Victor. Mulder took a step towards Victor as if to tell him to behave. "For one thing, we don't totally believe you," said Scully. "Well, maybe Mulder does but I don't." "I'm not sure why this is so hard? Ask me almost anything about you or Mulder or Skinner and I can most likely answer it," said Nick. "After all, the people who play you guys are my best friends." "Okay. What was the first name of the entomologist that I met when I was up in Connecticut investigating the killer cockroaches?" asked Mulder. "Oh, that's easy. It was in War of the Coprahages. Her name was Bambi," answered Nick immediately. "It was in where?" asked Skinner. "Oh, War of the Coprahages. That's the name of the episode. It was rather funny." "Glad you thought so," said Scully. "What was the name of the person who got attacked by the Kindred but survived?" "Oh, come on. That's even easier. Micheal. I played him. That was before Krycek. And it was in the episode Genderbender. I was surprised at Scully. You would think she would have more willpower." "Why don't you shut up before you find yourself with a bullet hole through your chest," snapped Scully. Alex was laughing at Nick's troubles when Scully turned her gun on him. That shut him up pretty fast. "That's enough. I think we've seen and heard enough evidence. I only have one more question. Do you do your own stunts?" interjected Skinner. "Yep. I really didn't like it when you hung Krycek off your balcony. There I was, hanging 17 floors up with nothing beneath me, held to the railing with only a pair of handcuffs. As soon as they were done filming, they heard me say 'Get me off of here!' It was not fun." Victor looked at Skinner. "You hung Krycek off your balcony?" "Yes, he did. Thanks to him I now have a fear of balconies." "Anyway, what are we going to do now?" asked Scully. It was weird to think of Krycek with a fear of balconies. Just then, a knock sounded on Skinner's door. "Sir, Agent Pendrell's here to see you," said Kimberly. Skinner sighed. "Send him in. I'll talk to you later." As Scully, Mulder and the three identical men were walking out, Pendrell gave them a sidelong look. As soon as he saw Scully, he straightened up pretty quick. "Oh, hi Scully, Mulder." "Hello Pendrell. I'd like you to meet Nick, Vic, and Alex." Pendrell looked between the three, really confused. "Agent Pendrell, what did you want?" "Oh yes, sir..." The door closed and Mulder led the way back down to his office. * * * * * * * * Mulder sat at his chair once again and looked at Krycek. There was the man he hated. Or did he? Today he had been rather charismatic. Maybe that was because he actually had some friends with him. Who knows. "So Krycek, how are Victor and Nick going to get back to their homes?" asked Scully. She didn't totally buy this whole thing. For one thing, how come Krycek was acting so nice? She figured it had something to do with his friends. "I have absolutely no clue. I guess the way they came." "How come you came to us again?" said Mulder. He wanted to hear this again. "We already told you. Me and Nick wanted to meet you and Agent Scully," said Victor. "Then why did Krycek come? He knows we hate him." "Hate is a pretty strong word, Mulder," said Victor sarcastically. "He killed my father and he's a lair and a murderer." "Hey, not all the time. Only when it's necessary to lie and kill. After all, I work for some pretty strict people. And stubborn," Alex protested. Scully shook her head. "Same principle Krycek." "How come everyone always calls me Krycek except for Nick and Victor? I do have a first name. Alex." "Because we like to call you Krycek better. Only friends get called by their first names," Mulder told him. "You call the Gunmen by their last names and they're friends," Nick pointed out. "Who are the Gunmen?" "Some of Mulder's friends. Trust me, they are very weird." "And how do you know about the Gunmen?" Scully asked. "Remember, I know a lot about this dimension. At home I'm part of a show about it." "Anyway, given the circumstances, I'm almost positive that if we keep you, there'll be a trial and you'll definitely be convicted. And I want to take my own revenge, so we'll let you go soon," said Mulder. "Mulder, those aren't reasons to let a criminal go!" exclaimed Scully. "Look Scully, at home we taped some shows for the next season. Alex is in one of them. So you have to let him go in order for history to play itself out," countered Nick. Thru all this, Victor was relatively silent. He honestly had no clue what they were talking about. It was all way above his head. "Look, I don't see why you can't just let us go. It's obvious that if one of us says something wrong, then you or Scully will fly at us," reasoned Victor. Mulder just looked at him. "Let me guess, not that simple, right?" "Right. Me and Krycek have to clear something up between us. Such as why you killed my father." "Fine, I killed him. I was just following orders. If I had known how much revenge it sparked in you, I never would have done it. Same with helping out with Scully's abduction. I've had to live with that everyday. That's why I try to help you out when it's safe for me to do so." "I'm not even going to ask about Scully being abducted," said Victor. "Shut up Victor," snapped Scully. "When have you helped us out?" "Oh, small ways. Just making sure your investigations go along safely. I once even went so far as to follow you during one case to make sure you two would be safe." "Which one?" "Um, the one involving that bug monster boss. I was in town and even at the scene when the captives were inside. I made damn sure that you didn't see me, Scully." "Okay. Why did you help us out with that black oil thing?" asked Mulder. "I still feel guilty. And the black oil is still around. Marita took the boy from me who had knowledge about those burnings a couple months ago. Believe me, when I get my hands on her, she is dead." "Whoa, calm down Alex," soothed Nick. The last thing he wanted was for Alex to fly off the handle and get them in deep shit. Alex just looked at them. In the silence, Mulder got up and started whispering with Scully. After about five minutes, she turned to them. "We think that you guys should just go." At that, Nick gave the other two a huge grin. "Thanks. See guys, I told you it would be fun. Too bad we didn't get to beat up Mulder." Mulder just looked at him. "Don't worry Nick," said Alex. "Just think. When you get home, you can always beat up that David person." Nick laughed at the thought of him beating up David, one of his good friends. "So you three should get out of here before I change my mind and just beat all three of you up," Mulder growled. On their way out, Krycek stopped and scribbled something on a scrap on paper. He handed it to Mulder and took off after the others. "Hey guys, wait up!" Mulder and Scully looked at the piece of paper. On it was Krycek's phone number. * * * * * * * * Krycek's Apartment 4:30 PM "Well, I think that went well. Don't you?" said Victor cheerfully. His companions just looked at him. Victor shrugged and shut up. "You know, there's a very important issue that we haven't gone over yet." commented Nick. "And what would that be?" "How do Victor and I get home? I mean, we don't even know how we got here in the first place. Are we stuck here forever or what?" Alex turned and looked out the window. "I have no clue so don't look at me. I'm not the one who got transported." "Hey Nick, what was it like when you came over?" asked Victor. "What do you mean 'came over'?" "When you switched dimensions, what did it feel like?" "I don't know. First it got all itchy on every part of my body, then I started to tingle. Next thing I knew, there was a bright flash of light and I was standing in Alex's apartment." "Oh. It was the same way for me. Maybe when we go home, it'll be the same way. At least then we'll have some sort of warning." Victor suddenly noticed that Alex looked kind of glum. "What's a matter Alex?" "You guys get all the fun. I don't get to be transported or anything. That really bites. Besides that, who'll help me with Mulder from now on when you two are gone?" Nick knew that was just Alex's way of saying that he'll miss them when they're gone. "Let's not think about that. How about we go see the rest of Washington. Who knows when I'll get to come back here again." Reluctantly agreeing, Alex led the way out. * * * * * * * * "Man, that was fun!" They had spent the day roaming D.C. after seeing the sites. at the reflecting pool, they had met this school teacher. She was part of a school group that had come to Washington as a field trip. They talked with her while the kids had free time. All the while, the girls couldn't keep from staring at the identical, handsome men. All was going well until she asked them what they did. "I'm an actor," said Nick. He seemed to be most captivated by her. "I'm a cop." "What are you, Alex?" "Um, I'm with the FBI." At that, her and some of the kids around her stared at him. "Cool, do you have a gun and a badge?" asked one of the boys. "Yep. I left my badge at home but I do have my gun." He took it out and showed it to them. Nick laughed quietly at their reaction. Some came for a closer look while others edged away. Soon however, the school kids had to be going. They said their goodbyes and headed home. "Yeah. Not to mention that teacher was really hot,"added Nick. "You guys are screwy." "Hey Alex, just because you like someone doesn't mean we can't." At that, Alex pretended to put Victor in a headlock but he easily escaped. That seemed to release something in the room. Soon, all three were going at the other two. It was an all out mock fight. After ten minutes, Nick was the first one to drop out. "I'm pooped." Alex and Victor stopped, looked at each other and headed into the kitchen for beers. When they came back they found Nick drawing something. "Whatcha drawing?" asked Alex. Wordlessly, Nick held it up. It was a rather good drawing of the reflection pool, complete with kids swarming around and a man and woman talking. "Man, that's really good!" "Here, you can have it. I have better ones at home, some of them paintings." Alex took the drawing. Victor couldn't repress a yawn. "So, who gets the bed tonight?" "Alex does. It's his house anyway." Alex, Nick and Victor went to bed. * * * * * * * * 11:21 PM Nick woke up itching. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was only 11:21. "Damn," he said quietly. A movement startled him. "Hey Nick, do you itch all over?" asked Victor. "Jesus, yes. Think we should wake up Alex?" "And do what?" Alex was already awake. The voices dragged him from sleep. "Me and Victor are itching all over." "Shit. Do you guys know what this might mean?" "That you have bedbugs?" volunteered Victor. "No idiot. You and Nick might be going home soon. How long was it between the time when you first started itching and when you got transported?" "About five minutes. So I guess we don't have much time," said Nick. Suddenly the prospect of leaving his new friends greatly saddened him. "Think we'll be able to get together again?" "I doubt it. Boy, no one's going to believe me when I tell them!" Alex went into the kitchen and got them all beers. Then they sat down to wait. Exactly five minutes later, Alex began to notice a light filling the room. Getting Polaroids of them standing in front of the Lincoln Memorial, he wordlessly handed them to Victor and Nick. Alex then hugged them and stepped back just as a flash of light came and went, taking with it his two best friends. * * * * * * * * Epilogue Nick woke up in his own bed. Someone was pounding on his door. For a brief instant, he thought it would be Victor and Alex. When he answered the door, he found it was David and Mitch. "Damn it all, Nick. Where've you been? We've been trying to contact you for a couple days now!" "Sorry. I got called out of town on an emergency." For a moment, Nick's thoughts flashed back to the FBI building and the fiasco with Mulder, Scully and Skinner. "Oh. What's that you're holding?" asked Mitch. Glancing down, he saw that it was the picture. David took it. "Wow. You never told us you were a triplet!" "Guys, if I told you the story, you would never believe it." Mitch and David looked at each other then studied Nick. "Ah well. Come on, we were just going for a game of golf. Want to come?" "Sure, let me get my stuff." As he got his golf clubs, Nick put the picture on his dresser and studied it for a moment. There was no way he would forget that little adventure. "Coming Nick?" "Yeah, coming!" Nick Lea grabbed his clubs and hurried out. On the dresser, the picture seemed to shimmer for a moment then stood still. After all, it wasn't entirely from this world. Finis ----------------------- So how was it??? Please give me feedback! I love getting e-mail!! -Evil will always triumph because good is dumb!-Dark Helmet, Space Balls (funny movie)