You Are Your Own Worst Enemy
By: CHUCKBAT (Brandon Clarke)
E-Mail Address: CHUCKBAT@AOL.COM
Distribution: Please distribute to Gossamer Archives, and to the
appropriate fanfic sites.

Spoilers: Erlenmeyer Flask, Little Green Men, Ascension, The Blessing
Way, and Irresistible (by name only).

Rating:R
Content:
Classification: Story/M&S friendship/Mulder angst
Summary: Mulder realizes his self blame and guilt through his 
nightmares.  He calls Scully, and she helps him confront them.

This is my first X-Files fanfic, so this is a great achievement for me.  
It is my goal in life to become a writer.  I was inspired to write this
story after reading the work of Susan Shinkai.  So I'd like to say
thanks Susan.  Also I'd like to give a shout out to DanaMuldr, and
Scully 901.  Thanks girls.   I appreciate your support.  And now it is
my great privilege to present "You Are Your Own Worst Enemy".

Disclaimer:  Agts. Mulder and Scully, are the creation of Chris Carter,
and without him none of this would be possible at all.  And don't think
I forgot Ten Thirteen Productions, and FOX broadcasting.  Use and
distribution of this story is not for profit, but solely for the purpose 
of entertainment.   
  
Mulder's Apartment
Saturday, 2:05AM
    
     "No, no, no!  Stop it!  It's not true!  It's not true!  It wasn't my
fault!
Shut-up, shut-up, shut-up, SHUT UP!!!!" Fox Mulder was tossing
and turning on his couch.  He had been screaming and clawing 
continuously at the unknown figure that plagued his dreams for 
what seemed like forever.  He finally stopped when he rolled off 
the couch, onto the floor.  He laid there panting like a dog, drenched in
a
cold
sweat.  Finally he lifted himself up off the hardwood, and sat
on the couch.  He lifted his hands to his face, and smoothed back his hair
.
Fearful to go back to sleep, he searched in the darkness for the remote
and turned on the TV.  After five minutes of endless channel-surfing, he
stopped on Channel 90, which was showing Bat 21.  He sat there watching  
the movie for about ten minutes, until he drifted off to sleep.
******************************************************************
November 27, 1973
Chilmark, Massachusetts
8:53 PM

       As the news report of the Watergate scandal played 
on the television, Fox and his sister Samantha were playing
a game of Stratego.
"Scout."
Fox takes away Samantha's game piece away with a grin.
"Do we have to watch this Fox?"
"Leave it.  I'm watching the magician at nine."
"Mom and Dad said I could watch the movie.  Buttmunch!"
"They're at the Galrids, and they said I'm in charge."
Samantha gets up from the floor, and turns the channel.
"Hey! Get out of my life!"
Fox gets up, and turns back to the channel he was watching.
Samantha then screams in his face.
"I'm watching the magician."
Suddenly the lights go out in the house.
"Now look.  The fuse is blown."
The pictures on the wall start to rattle, and a lamp crashes on the floor.
"FOX!"
       The room suddenly seems to come alive.  Bright lights are coming
from all directions.  A loud humming sound can be heard.  Glass is breakin
g 
everywhere, things are being knocked onto the floor, and the door unlocks
itself;
flinging open with a bright light emanating from the outside.  Fox is draw
n to
the light,
and he moves towards it, but he hears a scream.  He turns around and he se
es
his sister levitating above the ground.  As he goes to get his father's gu
n, a
figure
appears in the doorway.  Fox is paralyzed, and starts screaming out his
sister's
name as she is moving out the window.  The figure walks forward,
and moves in between Fox Mulder and his sister's levitating body.
"Save her Fox."
"I can't!"
"Do it.  Don't be such a coward."
"Who are you?  Leave me alone!"
"You can't save her.  You're too weak."
"Shut-up!  Leave us alone!"
"You pathetic son-of-a-bitch.  You can't even save your own sister!"
"No, that's not true."
Fox runs toward his sister's body, but is knocked down by the figure betwe
en
them.
"What are you doing?"
"It's your fault Fox."
"No!"
"You can't save her."
"No.  No.  No.  NO!"
Fox screams out, and cries in a wave of terror and fear.
"You can't beat me Fox.  You can't win."
"Stop it!!!!  PLEASE!!!!"
"No."
Fox runs towards Samantha again, but the figure holds his arms behind him,
preventing him from helping his sister.
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because you can't beat me, and I am your own worst enemy."
*******************************************************************
Mulder's Apartment
Saturday, 3:07AM

     Mulder awoke with a scream, and dropped to the floor on his knees.
He was silently sobbing to himself, and he shifted his body so that he
was curled up into a ball, hugging his own knees, rocking back and forth.
Suddenly he could feel the chunks rising in his throat, and he half ran,
half crawled to the bathroom.  When he was finished regurgitating the
cold pizza and two beers he had that night, he staggered towards the couch
and collapsed onto it.  He could see the phone on the table, and pondered
on whether or not he should call her.  He really didn't want to wake her
up so early in the morning, but he needed someone right now; and that 
someone was Scully.
*******************************************************************
Scully's Apartment
Saturday, 3:10AM

       The Wilkinson case had spent up most of her energy.  For once
in the past week, she was able to get some sound sleep without nightmares
of Duane Barry, or Donnie Pfaster.  She had awoken from her late night
slumber by the sound of the telephone ringing.  She moaned softly, as she
stuck her hand out toward her nightstand reaching for the phone.  Sitting
up, 
and in a groggy voice she spoke?.
"Scully."
"It's me Scully."
She slumped back down.
"Mulder.  What is it Mulder?  I'm trying to sleep."
"Scully, I??"
She sat up again, more concerned than before.
"Mulder what's wrong?"
"Scully, I can't?.Help me Scully."
"Mulder?"
"I nee, nee, nee, need you??.."
She jumped out of bed, removing her silk nightgown, and grabbed
a pair jeans from her dresser.
"Mulder, hang on I'm coming over."
"Scully????"
"Mulder?"
There is silence on the other end.
"MULDER!"
She still hears nothing from the other end.  Scully starts to put
on her sneakers, but hears a dial tone.  She grabs her down jacket
and her keys, as she bolts of her apartment.  She decides to skip the elev
ator
and opens the door leading to the stairwell.
*******************************************************************
Mulder's Apartment
Saturday, 3:35AM

    Mulder was lying on his floor breathing heavy.  Making the phone call
to 
Scully actually drained him.  His body grew very tired, and in minutes 
he passed out on the floor.
*******************************************************************
    He could feel the ground moving beneath him.  As he reached out with h
is
fingertips he could feel metal.  He felt weak.  His throat was dry, and hi
s
body
ached.  He tried to move his arms, but he couldn't.  He realized that his
hands
and feet were taped together.  He tried to sit-up, but he was pushed hard
to
the
ground, and a gun was pressed against his temple.
"Don't move."
Mulder didn't speak.  He opened his eyes slowly, and saw that he was in th
e
back of a van.  The person driving, was the same figure from before.
The figure spoke to him.
"Hey Foxy."
"Where are you taking me?"
"To Deep Throat."
"What?"
"You don't know Foxy?  You should.  That's because you killed him."
"I didn't kill him.  He was murdered."
"Oh yes you did.  You, and your quest for the truth killed him.  Where did
 it
leave you?
What did it give you?  A bunch of dead informants, and no Little Green Men
"
"That's not my fault."
"Bullshit Mulder old boy.  You killed Deep Throat.  He's dead because of y
ou."
"Stop-it.  I'm warning you."
"Really, you're in no position to talk.  Look at you.  You even got
yourself in trouble."
"Fuck you."
"No Mulder, fuck you, and all those around you.  Besides you get everyone
fucked over anyway.  I mean hell, you even got Scully abducted."
"No! It wasn't my fault! I didn't know!"
"It doesn't matter anyway Mulder, cause we're here.  Don't forget, 
I am your own worst enemy."
The van stopped, and the figure opened the door and jumped out.  
Mulder felt his bonds being cut off of him, but he had a gun to 
the back of his head.  Suddenly a shot rang out.  The back doors 
opened, and he felt himself being pushed out onto the pavement.  
The van sped off, and Mulder laid there motionlessly.  His body 
was rolled upward, and he felt Scully's hands
checking for his pulse, and stroking his hair briefly.  Then he could see
her
next
to Deep Throat checking him as well, finding him to be not so lucky as he.
Mulder was crying to himself silently, when Scully appeared next to him.  
She pulled him up, and held him in a warm embrace.  When suddenly he 
felt himself being ripped away from her loving arms, and everything turned
bright.
*******************************************************************
     He was in his car doing 100mph.  When he reached Scully's apartment,
he brought the car to a screeching halt, and got out.  As he stood outside
,
he could hear his partner screaming for him.
"MULDER! I NEED YOUR HELP!  MULDER!"
"I'm coming Scully." he said to himself.
Mulder unholstered his 9mm, and ran towards Scully's building.
He raced up the stairs, and when he reached her floor he could hear her.
"MULDER!"
He ran down the hallway leading to her apartment, and reached her door.
Stepping back, he ran forward and kicked the door down.  When the door 
came down, Mulder hurried inside.
"SCULLY!"
"MULDER HELP ME!"
He turned around and could see his partner and best friend struggling
with Duane Barry.  Before he could act, he was jumped from behind
and sent to the ground; his gun knocked out of his hand.  He looked up,
and saw the mysterious figure looming above him.
"You!"
"Well what do you know, I've got the cowardly lion right here in front
of me."
"You sons-of-bitches.  Leave her alone!"
Mulder dove into the figure's body and threw him against the wall.
He was about to hit him again, but the figure kicked him in the stomach,
and sent Mulder reeling backwards.  The figure then grabbed Mulder
and flung his body onto Scully's dining room table.
"Don't you touch him!"
Scully tried to get up to help Mulder, but Duane Barry grabbed
her by the legs, tripping her.  He held Scully down, and then he
grabbed her gun and struck her in the face with it, knocking her out.
"No! Bastards!"
The figure grabbed Mulder and lifted him off his feet.  He began to
throw him around like a ragdoll, and started to taunt him.
"Can't save her Foxy, not this time.  She belongs to them now, and
there's nothing you can do about it.  Why you ask?  Because I'm your
own worst enemy."
With that he dropped Mulder to his feet, and gave him a uppercut
sending him flying backward into the coffee table.
Mulder was sapped of all his energy and he couldn't move.  The last
thing he could see was Duane Barry beginning to tie up Scully.  He called
out?..
"No.  Don't take her from me??.please."
"Sorry Foxy, all requests are now null and void."
Then the figure kicked him in the head, and Mulder blacked out.
Ten minutes later, Mulder came to.  He looked around calling 
out Scully's name.  Remembering what happened he ran towards
her window, and looked outside.  He could see the figure and
Duane Barry; with Scully's bound and gagged form slung on 
his shoulder.  Mulder raced out of the apartment, and headed 
for the stairwell.  He began to leap down the stairs, trying to reach
her.  By the time he got outside he could see the figure placing
Scully's body in the trunk of her car.  He ran towards them, with his
gun raised, but they drove off with her in tow, into the night.
Mulder ran after the car, but he collapsed in the street.  He raised his
body up and saw her car speeding away.  Mulder rose to his feet and
with his head bleeding, and body aching, he sank to his knees, and cried
out in rage and anger.  Mulder couldn't save Samantha as a boy, and 
now he failed to save Scully as a man.   Then he felt the ground 
open underneath him, and he fell forward into the dark abyss.
******************************************************************
       The rain was beating down hard on Skyland Mountain.  Mulder could s
ee
Scully's abandoned car, and the body of Duane Barry lying on the ground.
He checked his body, and found strangulation marks all around his neck.  
He opened the trunk of the car, and inside he found bloody rope, and Scull
y's 
gold cross.  He looked around and saw a mud trail leading to the top of th
e
summit.  
He ran as fast as he could, and as he came closer he could hear her muffle
d 
screams.  When he finally reached the top, he could see "the figure" and
Scully's
bound form coming towards three shadowy figures.  Scully lifted her head
up and met with Mulder's eyes, her face expressing one last plea for help.
As Mulder came even closer, a bright, white, light appeared.  The light
temporarily blinded him, and threw him off-balance.  By the time he regain
ed
his momentum, Scully was gone, and only "the figure" remained.  Mulder
pointed his gun at the figure.
"Where is she?  Where did you leave her?"
"Now take it easy there Mulder.  All I can say, is that she was sad you
weren't
there to say good-bye, but I saved you a picture."
The figure pulled out a picture, and gave it to Mulder.  Mulder looked at
it,
and saw
Scully.  She was bound and gagged in a trunk, blood running down the side
of
her
mouth; her eyes wide with the expression of fear, sadness, and disgust wra
pped
into one.
"Look on the back, Mulder."
Mulder turned the picture around it said
"Sorry Foxy.  Dana and I wish you were here right now, but
shit happens.  Best wishes."
			"Your own worst enemy,"
			  Fox Mulder
A crack of thunder, accompanied by a bolt of lightning lit the sky.
Mulder stood in shock and disbelief, as he came to realize that the
figure that has been tormenting him and blaming him, was him.
The figure was indeed Mulder, but sinister and evil.  He looked like he
hadn't shaved in weeks.  He was dressed in a black leather jacket, white 
T-shirt, jeans, and boots.
"You're me."
"Ding.  Ding.  Ding.  We have a winner Johnny!"
"Why?"
"Why?  I'll tell you why.  Cause it's all your fault asshole."
Mulder was tired of these games.
He dove at his counterpart's body, but the counterpart was faster and
he slammed a fist, right into Mulder's gut.  Mulder staggered backwards
and hit the ground.  Mulder pulled out his gun, but the counterpart
kicked it away.  The counterpart took another swing at him, but
Mulder saw it coming, and ducked.  He immediately got back to his feet,
and Mulder kneed him in the face.  The counterpart fell to the ground
stunned.  Mulder then punched him in the jaw.  Mulder however became
too over-anxious, and started to choke him.
"I'm gonna kill you!"  
The counterpart got a second wind and sent a knee to
Mulder's groin.  Mulder fell back in pain, as the counterpart got
up, grabbed Mulder by the hair, and led him to a wet pool of mud.
"Have a drink Mulder."
The counterpart then pushed Mulder's face into the mud pool,
and tried to drown him in it.
"NO! NO! NO! I can't breathe! AHHH!"
******************************************************************
Outside Mulder's Apartment Door
Saturday, 4:30AM

      Scully finally got past the last flight of stairs, and opened the do
or.
When she entered the hallway, Mulder's neighbors began to open their
doors, trying to see what was going on.  She certainly did not want outsid
e
involvement, so she pulled out her ID, and flashed it around.
"My name is Dana Scully, and I'm a federal agent.  Please go back
inside, and lock your doors.  The situation is being dealt with."
The people complied, and locked their doors in a simultaneous rhythm.
Scully put her ID away, and walked to Mulder's door.  No one could ignore
the almost deafening screams coming from inside.
"AHHH!  NO!  STOP IT!  IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"
Scully quickly brought out her keys, and inserted them in the keyhole.
The door opened, and she stepped inside.  Even though it was dark, she
was accustomed to being in Mulder's apartment, and was able to move
around.  She could now see what was wrong with Mulder.  The room was
a mess.  His magazines were spilled all over the floor, there was broken g
lass
everywhere, his couch and coffee table were on the floor, and she could se
e
him rolling around on the floor, with the unknown assailant of his nightma
res.
She gently shook him with her hands, trying to wake him up.
"Mulder."
"NO!  STOP IT PLEASE!"
"Mulder, it's me Scully.  Wake up."
"LEAVE HER ALONE YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!"
She figured that he was having a nightmare about Samantha, until she heard
him speak again.
"DON'T YOU HURT HER!  NO!  LEAVE SCULLY ALONE!
I'm sorry Scully.  I'm sorry."
She then realized that it was her he was having a nightmare about.
She shook him again, trying to wake him up.
"Wake up Mulder.  You're having a nightmare."
This time she must have reached him, because without warning he
opened his eyes, and pushed her away from him.  On instinct he found
his gun, and picked it up; pointing it at her.  He rose to his feet.
"I'm gonna kill you, you bastard."
Scully needed to say something fast, before she would need outside
involvement.
"Mulder it's me."
"Scully?"
"Yes Mulder.  I'm here.  No one is going to hurt you."
Mulder realized his mistake, and dropped the gun.  He fell on his knees, a
nd
began to cry.
"Oh, God.  I'm sorry Scully.  I almost?."
She went over to him, and hugged him tightly.
"It's okay Mulder.  It's okay.  I'm here with you."
She could feel the sweat pouring off of his body.  His muscles were
tense, and he was shivering.  His tears started to dampen her shirt.
"They took you again Scully, I couldn't save you??"
"Shhhh.  I'm here Mulder.  Remember?  You found me.  You found
me, and I'm here.  I'm not going anywhere."
He held to her tightly, and he soon began to calm down.  He then saw
that a great deal of his living room, was in shambles.
"What the hell did I do?"
"I don't know, but you were having a nightmare."
"More like a series of them."
"What do you mean, Mulder?"
"I was dreaming about Samantha, and Deep Throat, and?.you.  They were
taking you Scully, and saw them doing it.  I tried to save you, but he sto
pped
me."
"What do you mean "they" Mulder?  There was only Duane Barry."
"No, there was another this time.  He was taunting me over and over again.
Saying things like "You can't save her Foxy.  There's nothing you can do."
I could see you Scully, your face was in pain.  There was nothing I could
do.
Every time I tried to help you, he would intervene."
Scully could feel her heart sinking, as she sympathized for
this man, who cared and loved her so.  She kissed him on the forehead,
and held him tighter.
"We're all right now Mulder.  I'm here with you."
"I know.  There was something else though.  He said something that made
me terrified."
"What was it?"
"I am your own worst enemy."
"What does that mean?"
"I don't know, and I'm the psychologist here."
"Is that all that happened?"
"No, that wasn't the only thing.  On Skyland Mountain, after you disappear
ed,
I saw his face."
"And?"
"It was mine."
Scully analyzed the information, trying to find a meaning to his nightmare
s.
"I'm sorry Scully.  I should've been there to help you, but I failed.  I'v
e
ruined
your life, and it's all my fault.  I let Samantha be abducted.  I got Deep
Throat
killed.  I got Melissa killed.  And you?.I let them take you away.  All
for my
quest
for the truth."
"You're wrong Mulder.  You didn't ruin my life.  I wouldn't have 
changed anything since I've met you.  You didn't let Samantha be taken.
You didn't get Deep Throat killed.  You didn't get my sister killed.  And
you
didn't let them take me.  Can't you see Mulder?  Can't you see why you are
blaming yourself, and having these nightmares?"
"Why?"
"Because.  You are your own worst enemy."
Mulder shuddered at the thought, and held Scully tighter.
They sat there, cuddled together for what seemed to be an eternity,
rocking back and forth, silently.  Then Mulder fell asleep in her arms.
*****************************************************************
     The surroundings were like something out of a movie.  The sky was dar
k
and gloomy.  Lightning could be seen throughout the sky.  Mulder was
standing on a ground covered by mist.  He looked around, and could see
nothing.  He walked forward with uncertainty, and as he was walking he
could make out a figure in the distance.  Then he could see the
counterpart.  The counterpart walked forward, and spoke to Mulder.
"Welcome Mulder.  Do you bet your life?"
"Cut the shit.  You know what I want."
"What Foxy baby?  You mean this?"
And he brought out Scully from the mists.  She was still tied up, but
her mouth was free.
"Let me go!"
"Sure baby, I'll give ya back, but first I wanna play a game with Fox here
."
He left her behind, and moved towards Mulder.
"Let's finish this, once and for all."
"I'm not afraid of you."
"You will be Mulder.  You will be."
They began circling each other, and then Mulder rushed forward.
Mulder slammed into his counterpart's body, taking him down.  He brought
a fist down on his counterpart.  He raised his arm for another, but the
counterpart grabbed Mulder's arms, and used his legs to flip Mulder.
Mulder flew into the air, and hit the ground hard on his back.  His
counterpart
got up, and kicked Mulder square in the gut.
He picked him up, and headbutted him, sending Mulder backwards.
Mulder was crawling on the floor, when he felt a foot stomp him in the
in the back.  The counterpart then grabbed him, and threw him across the a
ir.
He landed next to Scully, and looked at her with apologetic eyes.  Mulder
was
then picked up, and took a blow to the head that sent him flying.  The
counterpart then kicked him repeatedly on his body, and began taunting him
.
"See Foxy, you can't beat me.  You let me win.  All the time.  You're a
coward,
a weakling.  You can't even raise a fist in defense."
"I won't let you?."
"Oh yes you will.  Your guilt gives me strength.  And you know what?
You've given me the strength to do something that you should have done, a
long time ago."
With that he walked over to Scully, and picked her up.  He pulled her clos
e to
him, and kissed her hard on the lips.  She struggled, but to no avail, as
the
kiss
went on for a minute, while Mulder watched helplessly.  Scully finally pul
led 
away and spit in the counterpart's face.  That made him mad, and he slappe
d
her 
to the ground.
That was "the straw that broke the camel's back", because Mulder rose to h
is
feet and leapt at his enemy.  Sending him back on the ground, Mulder punch
ed
at him
repeatedly without end.  Each hit made his counterpart scream in agony.  H
e
grabbed
him, and began to fling him around like a ragdoll.  Mulder finally bent do
wn
and
picked him up, preparing to kill his tormentor.  He pulled out his gun, an
d
pressed
it against the counterpart's head.
"Go ahead Mulder.  Do it."
Mulder pressed his gun harder into him, but he did not fire.
"Do it.  DO IT!  You can't can you Fox.  You're too cowardly to even kill
me.
You are so weak it's pathetic.  You haven't got the guts Mulder.  You've
lost."
He puts his gun down.
"No.  I've already won.  I don't have to kill you, because I know I've bea
ten
you.  I
don't blame myself for what's happened, and Scully doesn't blame me.  I kn
ow
now
that what happened, happened.  And there was nothing I could do about it.
 And
I am your own
worst enemy."
Mulder then slammed a fist into his counterpart, knocking him out-cold.
He walked towards Scully, and bent down to untie her.  When she was free,
she
hugged
him tightly and kissed him on the lips.
"I knew you could do it Fox."
"I knew it too Dana, but you helped me to realize it."
 She then took his hand, and together they walked towards the fallen
counterpart.  As they watched him, he disappeared into the mist that
surrounded them.
Then everything became bright.
*****************************************************************

Mulder's Apartment
Saturday, 6:02 AM

      Mulder awoke on the living room floor.  He was accustomed to it, but
this
time something was different.  He looked around and saw Scully next to him
.
She was sound asleep, with her head resting on his chest.  He slipped out
from
her arms as quietly as he could, and when he was out he opened the door to
 his
bedroom.  He then picked Scully up off the floor, and carried her into his
bedroom.
He laid her on the bed, and proceeded to take off her jacket and sneakers.=
  He
then
placed the covers on her, and turned to leave the room.  Just as he was ab
out
to close
the door, he heard her mumbling to him.
"Mulder, is that you?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, just checking."
She wrapped her arms around one of his pillows.  She spoke one last time.
"Goodnight Mulder."
"Goodnight Scully."
When she finally went to sleep he closed the door, and went to go clean up
 the
mess in the living room.

Saturday, 6:35AM

     Mulder had just finished sweeping up the last piece of glass.  He wal
ked
to his
bedroom door and opened it gently.  He peered inside and watched as Scully
,
slept peacefully on his bed.  He was thankful to have her.  Whenever
he needed someone, she was always there for him, and vice-versa.
"Thank you Dana." he said silently 
Just as he was about to close the door, without warning Scully spoke.
"You're welcome Fox."
And she went back to sleep.
Mulder smiled to himself, and closed the door.  He walked over to his couc
h
in a sleepy haze, and laid down.  Thinking to himself, he knew that even
though
the nightmares would eventually return, he would never have to worry about
becoming his worst enemy again; and even if he did, he wouldn't have to 
face it alone.  With that final thought, he went back to sleep.

THE END

The message behind this story is, that in life most of the time, through s
elf
guilt 
and blame, we usually become our own worst enemy.  Well, that's all folks.=
  
Please send your comments to CHUCKBAT@AOL.COM.  Stay tuned kiddies, 
cause I've got a conspiracy story, with the CSM in the works.
And Susan, keep the IM Files going.  I'll see you later.